I woke up today zapped. My brain is barely functioning, and my body feels like it is fighting me in every move I make. I'm not really sore, just I feel zapped of all of my energy. I had a very hellish shift yesterday with having to send a resident to the hospital, and another one coming home from a very long stay at the hospital. It's nice how that resident also came home with their IV still, which is a whole other headache because our facility isn't licensed for me to take it out, which is ridiculous, but we actually have to get orders from the doctor to get a home health nurse to come out and take it out. I think its just silly, I took out tons of IVs as a PCT, yet now that I'm a nurse, I can't because of the facility rules. It just seems silly.
Anyway, I was horribly behind as a result of these things which unfortunately are very time consuming. I finished my med pass on time, but I had so much paperwork to do and charting, that I still ended up leaving late. Plus this was the first time where I had to do all of the orders for a re-admit, usually the orders are done before my shift even starts, and I just have to do the assessment when they get there. So, it wasn't too bad except for the whole "what the hell do I do with this IV situation?!?!". I told my boss she could call me if I screwed anything up, and put a frowny face at the bottom. I was so upset with myself for being so thrown by it.
As soon as I got home, I went straight to sleep. I was so mentally and physically exhausted, with the worst headache I've had in a long time. And when I woke up this morning, at nearly 9, my body was acting as if it was being forced to wake up at 2 in the morning or something. As much as I was hoping to go do my run/walk or walk in the forest preserve, I'm trying to listen to my body as it is screaming for me to rest.
I have the day off today, and then I just work 5 short hours tomorrow, then no work until Monday at 3 p.m.! I'm really looking forward to having the time off with Mike, and just doing whatever we want.
We went up to Gurnee Mills the other day just to go to a different mall and check it out. It reminds me a lot of Opry Mills at home, but its nowhere near as nice. But I decided to look around in the Gap outlet, which was my go-to place to buy clothes when I got smaller 9 years ago. I always loved the quality of the clothes I bought there, versus Old Navy. The last time I tried on something at the gap was a few years ago, and it was an XXL, and it was too small for me. So, even though I've been fitting into Old Navy's XL, I wasn't sure I'd fit into Gap's. But I did. They had their shirts and wife beater tanks on sale for really cheap, and I found a couple of shirts on the clearance rack that were cute! I'm starting to feel ok with the collection of clothes in smaller sizes I am building up now that I may start considering clearing out my close of the bigger stuff.
It also got me thinking about the two stores I shop at most of the time, Lane Bryant and Torrid. I've always had a hit or miss type of relationship, LB is sometimes very geared towards older women, and the stuff they put out for younger women are just not my style at all. And Torrid, again, I'm heavily selective in what I buy from them, because their clothes usually show off way more cleavage than I want, or just not my style. So shopping has not been the most fun experience for me due to the limited choices I have had. I'm very much a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl, but it doesn't mean I don't care about looking cute.
My point in all of this, is that I've decided I'm not going to buy a single item from either of these stores ever again. The only exception being jeans, because Torrid carries my go-to jeans, but I hope to be able to hold off on buying anymore jeans until I fit into a size sold at other stores. I am happy that I am at this point where shopping at more stores than 2 or 3 is so reachably close. I know the clothes aren't what determines whether I'm successful or not, but it just feels good. It is like the frosting on the cake for me. So, yup, never buying again from the big girls only stores, and not looking back!
It is crazy that my closet is full, like....FULL full of clothes that I will likely never wear again. I was fortunate I guess to have maintained my weight so steadily throughout the years, and as a result, have build a large collection of clothes. However, now, I can't do that, because I don't plan on maintaining anything but a continued drop in my weight for quite some time to come, so I only want to buy enough to get me through until I reach the next size.
I need to get moving and do something productive today, last night's shift can not steal my day off from me like this!!
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