I put in my notice yesterday at the hospital. I've been going back and forth on this for quite some time. I didn't want to leave and take my foot out of the door for a possible position at the hospital, but then the reality of the situation at the hospital has forced me to realize that this is likely to never happen. I am sad to leave the unit, and will miss my co--workers who have been so supportive as I finished my program, but its time for me to move on. My last day is on the 15th.
I also got my CPR certification renewed. I am still sore from practicing on the manikins. I had a great partner, and we got done early. I also was pleased to find out that we got paid for our time in the class. I was about to put down at least $50 for the class, so to get paid to take it was pretty sweet. I always feel nervous about taking the CPR class, like I will be awful at it...but then I rock it. :)
I will have every other Saturday off after my last day at the hospital, and this has allowed Mike and I to have a few rare 2-day weekends together. We both have always worked every Saturday, so now that I have every Saturday off, he could use vacation/personal/summer days to give us some weekends off together. We have to take advantage of this while we can!
I am happy that life is slowing down a bit. It's the little things that I'm looking forward to, like going for walks, carving pumpkins for Halloween, doing more with my baking, Christmas shopping and decorating. I am excited to wear my new sweaters, and to see the snow start to fall. I am so happy to not have to be so pre-occupied on exams, and clinical evaluations, and I can actually enjoy life. Sure, one I get a nursing position, life will be stressful as I navigate my first year as a nurse, but it will be a good stress.
I am still working on my personal goals, like working on my sparkle, trying to get better about being on time. I am also now convinced beyond any shadow of a doubt that there was never any chance of fixing certain situations. I have been struggling with this awful feeling of being labeled as the bad guy. I am not a perfect person, but I had nothing but good intentions. I cared about fixing the relationship, and I still do, but now I know I can't possibly reason with someone who is still this upset about their sides being uneven 6 months later. What a petty reason to not want to resolve things, and let healing happen. Again, I am not a perfect person, but at least I come from a place of wanting to fix things. So, I am letting go. I have struggled with wanting to speak up again, and try to get the talking going again, but then I remember how much that backfired the last 2 times, and I'm just not doing it. Even though I truly fear that it will never happen if I wait for the other parties to speak up for a change, and the effect on our family is heartbreaking, I know that if the other side doesn't want to fix it, any attempts on my part just add fuel to the fire. I am convinced now that I am not the one keeping things from getting better, and will not let myself feel like the bad guy anymore. I will never stop hoping that someday we can fix things, but the longer this goes on, the less likely I feel it will ever happen. And that is so sad to say, for so many reason. Truly sad.
But, in short, I am over it.
Mike and I are excited for our 2 1/2 day weekend! We plan on relaxing and grilling out on Monday. We went out with friends last night to see the Batman movie at the iPic theatre, and oh my goodness, was I impressed!!! Wine bar, full bar, and cheesecake at the concession stand, reclining seats with your own pillow and blanket....It was awesome!! The tickets are expensive, so its not something I would want to do for every movie we see, but I definitely want to go again!! And Mike and I are probably joining a couples bowling league with some friends, so that is exciting! Too bad it isn't Wii bowling, because I would be a rock star! lol
Last Day #1 of 3 at the hospital tomorrow!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Ah ha! There it is!
So the predicted rejection letter from that ICU position came today. I was pleased that it was different from the other letters I've gotten. I just gotta keep trucking along!!
I have decided that I am going to put in my notice at the hospital. I am exhausted from working so much, and it's taking away from my job search. I am sad about leaving, but I have to give up on this idea that there will be a position for me there. Maybe down the road I can come back when I have more experience under my belt, but for now, I gotta let it go.
The dinner we made for our friends went really well. We haven't been able to invite people over for the last 2 years because I was just too busy, and it was just a bit awkward to arrange. I would have friends over for study sessions, but that was it. So it was nice to be able to get back to having people over and entertaining again!
I am at a standstill with decorating. I am wanting to up floating shelves everywhere, and I need to slow it down before I put a bunch of holes in the walls. The curtains are up, the prints I bought are framed and on the wall, and it's definitely feeling more like home more and more every day. Mom-in-law helped us a couple of weeks ago get this awesome utility table carted to our place from Hobby Lobby. It definitely was the piece I was wanting for the kitchen.
I am still struggling with what to do with the dining table. More and more, I fall back in love with the one we have. We got it when we first moved in together, and I loved. There is a big chip on the top, and scratches. I think I may get a white tablecloth and dress it up somehow. I just can't find any tables that I like enough, or within the amount I'm willing to pay. But I'm a bit tired of looking at this stuff right now. I am pleased with the progress of our place, but I still have a ways to go!!
Oh, and I have found a new wine I love... Moscato!! I finished my first bottle of that tonight!! :) I am definitely looking forward to building up a good stockpile of wine! :)
I have decided that I am going to put in my notice at the hospital. I am exhausted from working so much, and it's taking away from my job search. I am sad about leaving, but I have to give up on this idea that there will be a position for me there. Maybe down the road I can come back when I have more experience under my belt, but for now, I gotta let it go.
The dinner we made for our friends went really well. We haven't been able to invite people over for the last 2 years because I was just too busy, and it was just a bit awkward to arrange. I would have friends over for study sessions, but that was it. So it was nice to be able to get back to having people over and entertaining again!
I am at a standstill with decorating. I am wanting to up floating shelves everywhere, and I need to slow it down before I put a bunch of holes in the walls. The curtains are up, the prints I bought are framed and on the wall, and it's definitely feeling more like home more and more every day. Mom-in-law helped us a couple of weeks ago get this awesome utility table carted to our place from Hobby Lobby. It definitely was the piece I was wanting for the kitchen.
I am still struggling with what to do with the dining table. More and more, I fall back in love with the one we have. We got it when we first moved in together, and I loved. There is a big chip on the top, and scratches. I think I may get a white tablecloth and dress it up somehow. I just can't find any tables that I like enough, or within the amount I'm willing to pay. But I'm a bit tired of looking at this stuff right now. I am pleased with the progress of our place, but I still have a ways to go!!
Oh, and I have found a new wine I love... Moscato!! I finished my first bottle of that tonight!! :) I am definitely looking forward to building up a good stockpile of wine! :)
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Weekend Update
I am still dealing with this sinus cold. It truly isn't as bad as it was, but I would say yesterday was the first day I felt like my normal self. I was starting to think I may have had a sinus infection because my upper teeth were getting sensitive every time I sneezed. Weird, yet true.
Its the weekend for me, now. Today was pretty quiet at work today, other than some serious shuffling of our schedule. People who schedule their entire family of 6 for a Saturday, and then doesn't remember, and claimed to not have gotten the reminder call we gave, and as a result doesn't show up and can't keep any of the 6 back to back appointments shouldn't be allowed to have that large of a family. Nor should they schedule with our office again, just my 2 cents.
Mike and I are entertaining some friends tonight, so I got a lot I have to do to prepare for dinner. But I'm taking a moment to relax before I jump in.
I did a little happy dance at my desk yesterday because I didn't get an auto-reject on a position I applied for. It absolutely means nothing, the e-mail was just a "we will be in contact in a few days with those who meet our needs blah blah blah" sort of e-mail. But that felt so much better than the insta-reject of "don't even bother, honey". I'd love to even get a phone call at this point, even if it doesn't lead to a job offer. I just want someone to look at my application and resume, and think "Hmm, she could be a possibility" rather than it going straight into the trash can because I'm a new graduate.
My brother-in-law is a firefighter/paramedic, and he gave me a tip about a possible opening at a hospital around his work. I swear, I turn around and there is a whole new hospital group that I've never even heard of. On one hand, this is good, because it means more positions I can apply for, yet on the other hand, its one more hospital to reject me. I'm trying really hard to remember that I knew this wasn't going to be easy, and to be grateful that I am over-employed right now, rather than unemployed. But it still sucks to feel like you aren't good enough, even though you just went through hell to finish nursing school and excelled at it.
So, the hospital my BIL told me about is on my list to tackle tomorrow. Plus some projects I want to do around here. Like our blinds, upon closer inspection, they are dirty and need a serious wiping down. I did our kitchen blinds, and it took me an hour to get them clean. They are white, so you would think the dirt would be more obvious, but its not unless you get up close to them. I am convinced the people who lived here before up were direct descendants of Pigpen from Charlie Brown. Once I'm done with the blinds, I will have scrubbed basically everything there is to scrub in this apartment besides the walls. At least the walls were clean because they were painted.....everything else was given the Caviwipe treatment, and then the Clorox bleach wipe treatment. My new found germa-phobe-ness really came out when we moved in. I didn't mind cleaning the apartment at all until I saw the shower door in Mike's bathroom, and threw a fit. lol
But even that situation was no match against me armed with gloves, steel wool pads, and tilex. Good as new! ;)
Must begin preparing for tonight! :) By preparing, I mean, pour myself a glass of white zin or moscato. lol
Its the weekend for me, now. Today was pretty quiet at work today, other than some serious shuffling of our schedule. People who schedule their entire family of 6 for a Saturday, and then doesn't remember, and claimed to not have gotten the reminder call we gave, and as a result doesn't show up and can't keep any of the 6 back to back appointments shouldn't be allowed to have that large of a family. Nor should they schedule with our office again, just my 2 cents.
Mike and I are entertaining some friends tonight, so I got a lot I have to do to prepare for dinner. But I'm taking a moment to relax before I jump in.
I did a little happy dance at my desk yesterday because I didn't get an auto-reject on a position I applied for. It absolutely means nothing, the e-mail was just a "we will be in contact in a few days with those who meet our needs blah blah blah" sort of e-mail. But that felt so much better than the insta-reject of "don't even bother, honey". I'd love to even get a phone call at this point, even if it doesn't lead to a job offer. I just want someone to look at my application and resume, and think "Hmm, she could be a possibility" rather than it going straight into the trash can because I'm a new graduate.
My brother-in-law is a firefighter/paramedic, and he gave me a tip about a possible opening at a hospital around his work. I swear, I turn around and there is a whole new hospital group that I've never even heard of. On one hand, this is good, because it means more positions I can apply for, yet on the other hand, its one more hospital to reject me. I'm trying really hard to remember that I knew this wasn't going to be easy, and to be grateful that I am over-employed right now, rather than unemployed. But it still sucks to feel like you aren't good enough, even though you just went through hell to finish nursing school and excelled at it.
So, the hospital my BIL told me about is on my list to tackle tomorrow. Plus some projects I want to do around here. Like our blinds, upon closer inspection, they are dirty and need a serious wiping down. I did our kitchen blinds, and it took me an hour to get them clean. They are white, so you would think the dirt would be more obvious, but its not unless you get up close to them. I am convinced the people who lived here before up were direct descendants of Pigpen from Charlie Brown. Once I'm done with the blinds, I will have scrubbed basically everything there is to scrub in this apartment besides the walls. At least the walls were clean because they were painted.....everything else was given the Caviwipe treatment, and then the Clorox bleach wipe treatment. My new found germa-phobe-ness really came out when we moved in. I didn't mind cleaning the apartment at all until I saw the shower door in Mike's bathroom, and threw a fit. lol
But even that situation was no match against me armed with gloves, steel wool pads, and tilex. Good as new! ;)
Must begin preparing for tonight! :) By preparing, I mean, pour myself a glass of white zin or moscato. lol
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Well How About That!
No auto-reject on the ICU position. Doesn't mean that the reject isn't coming, but it does feel good to not be auto-rejected so quickly. I just don't want to feel like I'm putting in all these applications, and just wasting my time. It is so frustrating.
I'm also feeling a lot better, still blowing my nose and sneezing, but I was able to put in full day at work.
Tonight Mike is at class. Which I'm a little sad about for a couple of reasons. Its one less night I get to have dinner with him this week, and I'm missing being in class. He started his last class of the program he's doing at school this week, and my friends who are either starting or repeating their 4th semester went back this week as well, and I don't know what to do with myself. I have been obsessively checking Harper's website to see if some of the classes I'd like to take online had any spots open up, and so far no luck. I know this is crazy, but I've been in class for the last 3 years, its not natural to me yet to not be in class.
It would be nice to be able to have a nursing position before I begin anymore classes so that I can plan accordingly, but I really am feeling like I want to go back in the Spring. I need to take nutrition, chemistry, and MAYBE statistics. I can take everything but the chemistry online, and that is what I would like to do. I need to get these classes under my belt in order to get started on my BSN at NIU. I don't want to be hindered later down the road because I only have an Associate degree.
There is so much on my brain lately about everything, my two jobs, whether to drop the part time one, looking for a new job to replace both, taking classes to advance my degree. I don't know how there is room for much else sometimes, but yet there is!
I'm also feeling a lot better, still blowing my nose and sneezing, but I was able to put in full day at work.
Tonight Mike is at class. Which I'm a little sad about for a couple of reasons. Its one less night I get to have dinner with him this week, and I'm missing being in class. He started his last class of the program he's doing at school this week, and my friends who are either starting or repeating their 4th semester went back this week as well, and I don't know what to do with myself. I have been obsessively checking Harper's website to see if some of the classes I'd like to take online had any spots open up, and so far no luck. I know this is crazy, but I've been in class for the last 3 years, its not natural to me yet to not be in class.
It would be nice to be able to have a nursing position before I begin anymore classes so that I can plan accordingly, but I really am feeling like I want to go back in the Spring. I need to take nutrition, chemistry, and MAYBE statistics. I can take everything but the chemistry online, and that is what I would like to do. I need to get these classes under my belt in order to get started on my BSN at NIU. I don't want to be hindered later down the road because I only have an Associate degree.
There is so much on my brain lately about everything, my two jobs, whether to drop the part time one, looking for a new job to replace both, taking classes to advance my degree. I don't know how there is room for much else sometimes, but yet there is!
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Sick :(
I feel awful. It started yesterday with a bunch of sneezing, and an awful headache when I got home last night from work. And I woke up today congested, and just feeling like poo. I didn't think I was that bad where I couldn't work, but that is where I turned out to be wrong. I tried to hang on as long as I could, but I called it quits at about 1:30 and came home and slept. I still feel icky, but I'm hoping I'll feel better in the morning. My sweet husband brought me some roses to try to perk my day up a bit.
It was definitely sweet of him, and I love them!
I've been trying to just relax tonight, but of course, I got a bit jealous when I saw yet another classmate who has a job before I do. I wish it didn't sting so much, and I feel terrible that all I can think of how much I wish it was me. You can't help but compare yourself to your classmates in this type of over-saturated job market. It makes me wish I hadn't been so ambitious with trying to be in the ICU for my capstone, because I could have had a better chance at establishing a job offer had I been on a med-surg floor.
A position for the ICU where I had my Capstone has been taunting me for months. I would love to begin my career in the ICU, but I know my lack of experience is probably not want they need. When you have people who are on the brink of dying, do you really want some green, new-graduate nurse? Or an experienced nurse? Plus, there was an issue during my Capstone that left me feeling like the assistant director didn't like me very much.
So, this has kept me from being able to bring myself to put in my application. The thought of sitting down for an interview with this woman is terrifying. The thought of my application spreading laughter throughout the whole ICU department is depressing. But tonight, I figured what's another rejection letter in my mailbox tomorrow morning? It isn't like I haven't seen enough of those already, and like it even matters anymore. And heck, maybe the fact that I was able to hold in my tears of fear around this woman will count for something. But either way, at least I can say I put my name in the hat, regardless of what they decide to do with it.
I did put in a couple of other applications that surprisingly didn't ask me that infamous question on the last page "Do you have X years of experience as an RN?". So maybe I won't be auto-rejected.
I'm starting to think that if I don't have a position by the new year, I will start looking at other types of positions at places I don't even want to say the word, but you know what I'm meaning. I just don't want to accept a position, and then another one come along that is more of what I was looking for, and then feel like an ass for jumping jobs. But I just can't go forever without getting a job, or else my degree is useless.
Time to get some sleep, and hope to sweet 8lbs 7oz. baby Jesus, in a tuxedo shirt, that I'm feeling better.
I've been trying to just relax tonight, but of course, I got a bit jealous when I saw yet another classmate who has a job before I do. I wish it didn't sting so much, and I feel terrible that all I can think of how much I wish it was me. You can't help but compare yourself to your classmates in this type of over-saturated job market. It makes me wish I hadn't been so ambitious with trying to be in the ICU for my capstone, because I could have had a better chance at establishing a job offer had I been on a med-surg floor.
A position for the ICU where I had my Capstone has been taunting me for months. I would love to begin my career in the ICU, but I know my lack of experience is probably not want they need. When you have people who are on the brink of dying, do you really want some green, new-graduate nurse? Or an experienced nurse? Plus, there was an issue during my Capstone that left me feeling like the assistant director didn't like me very much.
So, this has kept me from being able to bring myself to put in my application. The thought of sitting down for an interview with this woman is terrifying. The thought of my application spreading laughter throughout the whole ICU department is depressing. But tonight, I figured what's another rejection letter in my mailbox tomorrow morning? It isn't like I haven't seen enough of those already, and like it even matters anymore. And heck, maybe the fact that I was able to hold in my tears of fear around this woman will count for something. But either way, at least I can say I put my name in the hat, regardless of what they decide to do with it.
I did put in a couple of other applications that surprisingly didn't ask me that infamous question on the last page "Do you have X years of experience as an RN?". So maybe I won't be auto-rejected.
I'm starting to think that if I don't have a position by the new year, I will start looking at other types of positions at places I don't even want to say the word, but you know what I'm meaning. I just don't want to accept a position, and then another one come along that is more of what I was looking for, and then feel like an ass for jumping jobs. But I just can't go forever without getting a job, or else my degree is useless.
Time to get some sleep, and hope to sweet 8lbs 7oz. baby Jesus, in a tuxedo shirt, that I'm feeling better.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Saaaa-Weeeeeet!!
Remember that CPR class that would have been for free at my hospital had there been openings? Well by-gosh if they didn't open up more seats! Problem solved!! Now I'm glad that it was storming and my hubby was sick the other day, cuz that saved me $$$$!
Ghetto Hair No Mo!
Popped a Xanax before, but I made it to my hair appointment. Loved my girl J! She went through all my pictures with me, and worked with me on how to proceed. I always feel bad because I have a huge head, and it takes them forever to foil my hair, but it all worked out!!
I really have to stop letting so much time pass between colorings, and trust it will be ok!! But I love my hair!!
I really have to stop letting so much time pass between colorings, and trust it will be ok!! But I love my hair!!
Gotta Wake Up Slow...
I have been overly tired this weekend. I worked at the hospital on Saturday, and its a complete energy drain for me. I'm fine during my shift because I'm in "GO" mode, but as soon as I clock out, I'm zapped. I truly was having a hard time not falling asleep at red lights yesterday on my way home. I know that is bad, but that is just how exhausted I was. I was still exhausted even after I took a shower when I got home. That normally will wake me up. But nope, I was basically awake long enough to eat dinner and spend a little time watching some TV with Mike, and then I was out.
I am getting my hair colored today. My friend at work convinced me to just do it, and so I made my appointment on Friday. Because of how exhausted I've been (a.k.a. sleeping as soon as I get home) and with projects I've been working to decorate, I haven't had my normal time to obsess about what I am going to do. My regular colorist is not coming back after all, her leave turned into she quit. :( The last girl I had was ok, she did a good job on the color, but when she was blowing my hair out, I wanted to just take the brush from her and tell her to leave me alone. How do you do this everday, and suck at blow drying someone's hair? Anyway, so I scheduled with a new girl who is the next level up experience-wise (i.e. newbie, not-so-newbie, decent, pro, expert, master lol). So that made me feel a little better about going to someone new.
So, the hair, I have the desire to do something different, but like I said before, I have a hard time committing. So, maybe I'll go all wild-card and let the girl do what she wants. lol
I really haven't had the time to do anymore job searching, and that was just way too depressing last Sunday. I'm still waiting to hear back from my friend's mom-in-law about what changes I can make to my resume, so I guess I'm waiting on that. Census on my floor is so low, we even had some lap appendectomies, and cholecystectomies.....we don't usually see those. I felt bad when my coworkers were talking about being out of paid time off hours because they have been downstaffed so much. I don't have any sick or personal hours to take, and luckily, it doesn't affect me too much when I get flexed (well, I do get SUPER-HAPPY lol). I've accepted that I won't be getting a position there, but now I feel bad that there may be more lay-offs. How awful is that for those that have been there for so long, and now may be forced to look elsewhere? There's not a lot of jobs out for there for patient care techs or unit secretaries, so I feel bad for them. But hopefully now that the main surgeon is supposed to be coming back next week, census will pick back up and the downstaffing will slow down.
Da hubs made some chocolate muffins for us, so the plan for the morning is to enjoy those with some coffee, and freak out on the inside about my hair, lol.
I am getting my hair colored today. My friend at work convinced me to just do it, and so I made my appointment on Friday. Because of how exhausted I've been (a.k.a. sleeping as soon as I get home) and with projects I've been working to decorate, I haven't had my normal time to obsess about what I am going to do. My regular colorist is not coming back after all, her leave turned into she quit. :( The last girl I had was ok, she did a good job on the color, but when she was blowing my hair out, I wanted to just take the brush from her and tell her to leave me alone. How do you do this everday, and suck at blow drying someone's hair? Anyway, so I scheduled with a new girl who is the next level up experience-wise (i.e. newbie, not-so-newbie, decent, pro, expert, master lol). So that made me feel a little better about going to someone new.
So, the hair, I have the desire to do something different, but like I said before, I have a hard time committing. So, maybe I'll go all wild-card and let the girl do what she wants. lol
I really haven't had the time to do anymore job searching, and that was just way too depressing last Sunday. I'm still waiting to hear back from my friend's mom-in-law about what changes I can make to my resume, so I guess I'm waiting on that. Census on my floor is so low, we even had some lap appendectomies, and cholecystectomies.....we don't usually see those. I felt bad when my coworkers were talking about being out of paid time off hours because they have been downstaffed so much. I don't have any sick or personal hours to take, and luckily, it doesn't affect me too much when I get flexed (well, I do get SUPER-HAPPY lol). I've accepted that I won't be getting a position there, but now I feel bad that there may be more lay-offs. How awful is that for those that have been there for so long, and now may be forced to look elsewhere? There's not a lot of jobs out for there for patient care techs or unit secretaries, so I feel bad for them. But hopefully now that the main surgeon is supposed to be coming back next week, census will pick back up and the downstaffing will slow down.
Da hubs made some chocolate muffins for us, so the plan for the morning is to enjoy those with some coffee, and freak out on the inside about my hair, lol.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
CPR isn't happening today....
My hubby is sick, and I woke up later than usual as a result, and it's raining like a mofo outside. I'm not a fan of driving into the city at all, much less when it's storming outside. No Thank You!
Job searching has been extremely depressing. I started filling out a ton of applications on Sunday night, and I was feeling ok about it until I discovered the auto-reject. One hospital in the area doesn't even wait to tell you that you are not hire-material. As soon as I hit the 'submit' button, I would instantly get a message that I didn't meet the requirements. Then I would get an e-mail saying the same thing just to rub it in. I had to pull out the Ben and Jerry's after that.
I have always known this was going to be a difficult process, but the realization of this still hurts. My 3.42 GPA (pretty darn impressive after the hell that is nursing school exams), my capstone in the ICU, my experience as a patient care tech on one of the headrest floors to work on in the hospital.....doesn't matter because I have no experience working as a Registered Nurse.
It makes me sad that I wasn't one of the lucky ones who just happened to get a job on the right floors that could hire a new grad. My floor can't help it that elective surgeries are down, and that the main surgeon had to take a leave for his own surgery. It makes me sick that I may be a hypocrite yet again, as I have considered the possibility that I may need to consider looking at nursing home positions, which is super depressing because that is the last thing I want to do.
I do have to keep trying. My friend's mom is a nursing instructor at another college, and she offered to help me with my resume. I was so happy to accept this. I don't feel like our school did enough to really help us in this area, even though we all had to make a resume. I can make it look neat, and formatted. I want you to tell me if you would make sure to read my resume or just throw it in the trash.
Luckily, I am not in a desperate situation. I have a good job that isn't going anywhere, with a boss who has always been amazingly flexible with me. There are things about my job that are frustrating, but it's all temporary stuff. I really will be sad when the day comes that I leave. I even want to work something out where I come in for a little bit, because I'm crazy.
In happy news, my couch pillows came in from Etsy, and I love them! I finally found curtains that I like so those are going up today. Now I gotta find some coordinating placemats/table clothes for the curtains I got for the kitchen. They are a deep aquamarine, so I gotta do some looking when I have time!
Also started looking at hair pictures, and trying to get the guts to schedule an appointment for my hair. I'm crazy.
Job searching has been extremely depressing. I started filling out a ton of applications on Sunday night, and I was feeling ok about it until I discovered the auto-reject. One hospital in the area doesn't even wait to tell you that you are not hire-material. As soon as I hit the 'submit' button, I would instantly get a message that I didn't meet the requirements. Then I would get an e-mail saying the same thing just to rub it in. I had to pull out the Ben and Jerry's after that.
I have always known this was going to be a difficult process, but the realization of this still hurts. My 3.42 GPA (pretty darn impressive after the hell that is nursing school exams), my capstone in the ICU, my experience as a patient care tech on one of the headrest floors to work on in the hospital.....doesn't matter because I have no experience working as a Registered Nurse.
It makes me sad that I wasn't one of the lucky ones who just happened to get a job on the right floors that could hire a new grad. My floor can't help it that elective surgeries are down, and that the main surgeon had to take a leave for his own surgery. It makes me sick that I may be a hypocrite yet again, as I have considered the possibility that I may need to consider looking at nursing home positions, which is super depressing because that is the last thing I want to do.
I do have to keep trying. My friend's mom is a nursing instructor at another college, and she offered to help me with my resume. I was so happy to accept this. I don't feel like our school did enough to really help us in this area, even though we all had to make a resume. I can make it look neat, and formatted. I want you to tell me if you would make sure to read my resume or just throw it in the trash.
Luckily, I am not in a desperate situation. I have a good job that isn't going anywhere, with a boss who has always been amazingly flexible with me. There are things about my job that are frustrating, but it's all temporary stuff. I really will be sad when the day comes that I leave. I even want to work something out where I come in for a little bit, because I'm crazy.
In happy news, my couch pillows came in from Etsy, and I love them! I finally found curtains that I like so those are going up today. Now I gotta find some coordinating placemats/table clothes for the curtains I got for the kitchen. They are a deep aquamarine, so I gotta do some looking when I have time!
Also started looking at hair pictures, and trying to get the guts to schedule an appointment for my hair. I'm crazy.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
CPR Certification
Yesterday at work, I got a very helpful tip from a patient at my dental office who just so happens to be a new nurse himself. He's almost through with his first year of working as a nurse, and he told me that he seemed to start to get calls for interviews after he put his CPR certification on his resume. So, today, I take a look at my CPR card and realized I was certified in August 2010, therefore expiring this month! I went into a panic because I wasn't sure if I was already expired or if I had until the end of the month.
So, I go to my hospital's education portal, and see that the next CPR class isn't until the end of the month. Even though it would be free through the hospital, I didn't want to wait that long! So, I wet to several of the villages fire departments around here, since I went through Schaumburg last time. But I had already missed all of them.
Then, I went to the American Heart Associations' website to see if that could help me find other classes in the area. I discovered you can do the classroom part online, and then scheduled a skills session at a recognized facility. Then I realized it would cost me $22 for the class, then $48 for the skills session. And this just seemed insane compared to how cheap it is elsewhere.
Next, I search for more regular classes, and found one at Edwards hospital in Naperville. This was not a horrible drive, and it was decently priced, so I went for it. Well, they told me I was actually expired as of August, and so I could only do the full certification class rather than the renewal. And the soonest I could schedule was the 25th. So, I went ahead and did it, and paid the fee or the class. Of course, then I panicked because I realized I may not be able to get off of work since its on a Saturday, and a couple of the people who could cover for me would not be available, and I realized, if I can wait til the 25th, why not just wait a few days and do the one that is FREE at my work?
Of course, when I go back to the education portal, I then realize that the class is full. REALLY?!?!
So....I did more searching. I returned to a company that is based in the city. I initially disregarded them in my first search because I didn't want to drive to the city. However, I realized they were way more flexible with class times, and that one of their locations was actually not really too awful of a drive. I gave them a call just to double check that registration really wasn't necessary, and they said as long as you are on time, you can get into any of the class times! As a bonus, they also told me that I had the WHOLE month of August to renew, and that I wasn't expired yet. This definitely made me feel better, because I was felt sick that I didn't start getting this together sooner!
So, then I had to cancel the class at the hospital in Naperville. I felt really bad, because the lady that scheduled me gave me very thorough directions on how to get to the class, not just how to get to the hospital. I was impressed. Anyway, they were able to refund me the cost of the class, and all is right in the world.
In the end, this was FAR MORE of an anxiety-inducing cluster-fuck than it should have been. It didn't help that I was at work trying to work through this, and getting interrupted in my planning was frustrating! lol Anyway, had I just taken a look at my card a month ago, I could have already had this planned out. But no. I didn't do that because I have been so busy with so many other things. I am planning to go to the class on Thursday to update my CPR certification. I will also probably look into using this same company again when I am ready to get my ACLS certification, and some other certifications I am interested in. This company actually came to my school for my CPR certification for my CNA class, so I am feeling pretty comfortable using them.
In good news, tonight, Mike and I are dining on some yummy Wildfire, and going to a movie! Just a simple dinner and a movie date night! :)
So, I go to my hospital's education portal, and see that the next CPR class isn't until the end of the month. Even though it would be free through the hospital, I didn't want to wait that long! So, I wet to several of the villages fire departments around here, since I went through Schaumburg last time. But I had already missed all of them.
Then, I went to the American Heart Associations' website to see if that could help me find other classes in the area. I discovered you can do the classroom part online, and then scheduled a skills session at a recognized facility. Then I realized it would cost me $22 for the class, then $48 for the skills session. And this just seemed insane compared to how cheap it is elsewhere.
Next, I search for more regular classes, and found one at Edwards hospital in Naperville. This was not a horrible drive, and it was decently priced, so I went for it. Well, they told me I was actually expired as of August, and so I could only do the full certification class rather than the renewal. And the soonest I could schedule was the 25th. So, I went ahead and did it, and paid the fee or the class. Of course, then I panicked because I realized I may not be able to get off of work since its on a Saturday, and a couple of the people who could cover for me would not be available, and I realized, if I can wait til the 25th, why not just wait a few days and do the one that is FREE at my work?
Of course, when I go back to the education portal, I then realize that the class is full. REALLY?!?!
So....I did more searching. I returned to a company that is based in the city. I initially disregarded them in my first search because I didn't want to drive to the city. However, I realized they were way more flexible with class times, and that one of their locations was actually not really too awful of a drive. I gave them a call just to double check that registration really wasn't necessary, and they said as long as you are on time, you can get into any of the class times! As a bonus, they also told me that I had the WHOLE month of August to renew, and that I wasn't expired yet. This definitely made me feel better, because I was felt sick that I didn't start getting this together sooner!
So, then I had to cancel the class at the hospital in Naperville. I felt really bad, because the lady that scheduled me gave me very thorough directions on how to get to the class, not just how to get to the hospital. I was impressed. Anyway, they were able to refund me the cost of the class, and all is right in the world.
In the end, this was FAR MORE of an anxiety-inducing cluster-fuck than it should have been. It didn't help that I was at work trying to work through this, and getting interrupted in my planning was frustrating! lol Anyway, had I just taken a look at my card a month ago, I could have already had this planned out. But no. I didn't do that because I have been so busy with so many other things. I am planning to go to the class on Thursday to update my CPR certification. I will also probably look into using this same company again when I am ready to get my ACLS certification, and some other certifications I am interested in. This company actually came to my school for my CPR certification for my CNA class, so I am feeling pretty comfortable using them.
In good news, tonight, Mike and I are dining on some yummy Wildfire, and going to a movie! Just a simple dinner and a movie date night! :)
Thursday, August 9, 2012
No Downstaffing for This Girl
So it looks like I will be here the whole shift from what I can tell. But census is low for having 3 techs, so it makes for an easier night. My patients are all awesome, so I am not too upset about being here the whole time. I had to explain to a patient why it was important for her to order dinner so the nurse could give her certain medications. When I walked out, the nurse called for me and said she over heard me. I thought, "shoot....I went too much in nurse mode, and she is pissed at me for saying something wrong!!". But she actually complemented me, and told me I was really good with the patient. That made me feel good. You don't get a lot of appreciation, or even acknowledged at all sometimes by the nurses....so I was happy someone thought I was doing well and cared enough to tell me so.
I'm just finishing up my break, and trying to stay away from the cake that the family a patient I cared for brought to the unit as a thank you. :)
I'm just finishing up my break, and trying to stay away from the cake that the family a patient I cared for brought to the unit as a thank you. :)
Rain, Rain.....Go Away!
I'm scheduled to work a PM shift tonight, so I'm having a lounge-around kind of morning til I leave for work in the afternoon. That is if I don't get downstaffed, which I'd LOVE. It's been rainy/cloudy out, but I don't mind it too much. I actually feel pretty good today. I am loving our view out of our french doors in our living room. The next apartment building isn't so close that we can see into the windows, and we have a lot of trees in the greenway, with one actually right in front of our balcony, so it makes it all feel very private, which I love. You go 2 years of having no privacy, and you will gain a whole new appreciation for it, too.
I finally re-organized my clothes in the closet. They got all jumbled up from the move, and finding stuff was kind of driving me nuts. I like having all the t-shirts together, all the cardigans together, etc. That way I just have to sort through one section to find something, rather than the WHOLE closest. I don't get super anal about having everything sorted by color except for I like the white stuff sorted separately. One of the weird things that I get bothered by.
I have made some progress in making decisions about decorating. I have ordered some navy blue damask throw pillows on Etsy, as well as a set of 3 navy blue prints that I am framing this weekend to put up on the wall above our couch. I found some really cute white frames for 50% off at Hobby Lobby, and I hope it turns out really well. We'll see. :) I also found a pattern that I really like for curtains for the window in our kitchen, and will probably order next week once I get around to measuring the window. AND, I found some french-style nightstands on Craigslist for $30 that I picked up last night. They are awfully gaudy-looking right now because they are a cream color with gold accent, and I will be painting them all white and putting some new hardware on them.
I definitely have a passion for buying cheap furniture from thrift stores and/or craigslist and refurbishing them to make it my own. I have done this with 2 dressers and a headboard. I have a secretary desk/cabinet that I have been debating painting white for a few years now, because I kind of like it the way it is, but I am starting to think it will really be a great accent if I paint it. I am kind of feeling some pieces that I have seen here and there that are painted mint green, so that's another idea, too!
I am feeling good because this is starting to feel like home. I love that our complex is part of a big residential neighborhood, rather than on a busy street, and next to commercial stuff like our last apartment. I don't feel unsafe like I did at times at our last apartment. I know it will only get better as we do more with the decorating, and finally get our TV mounted on the wall. (We are pretty intimated by this, but it must be done!)
I haven't heard anything back from the hospice place yet, but I did get rejections letters from the L&D position and the OR position I applied for a couple of months ago. I expected this, but it doesn't mean it doesn't suck. I have no experience as an RN other than my clinical experience, so this is not going to be an easy process. It's hard to spend 30 minutes filling out an application that you know you probably won't get an interview for, but you can't not fill it out because "you never know"! I have to remember that my friends who are teachers waited years to finally land a position, and while I hope this doesn't happen because its important to not lost your skills as a nurse, I can't be discouraged and keep trying.
Mike and I have a busy weekend with a date night planned, and all of the projects that we want to get done. And I will start processing my anxiety about coloring my hair in the next week or so. I desperately need to do this, but I get so anxious when I do anything with my hair. I really hope my colorist is back from leave when I call. While the person I used last time was ok, I just really hate not having the same person every time. Basically, I have to go to my pinterest page of pinned hair pictures, and be kind of obsessive about it til I can make myself ok with going forward. Its stupid, it really is, but I can't help it. I also have been debating starting to go dark again, or just maintain my current color. Mike really wants me to go dark again, but that's a commitment I'm not sure I'm ready to make. Anyway, yes, I am completely nut job when it comes to my hair, end of story. lol
I guess that it is all for now, pray for me that I get downstaffed and don't have to work til 11:30 tonight! Because I have to be at work at the dental office at 7 tomorrow. :(
I finally re-organized my clothes in the closet. They got all jumbled up from the move, and finding stuff was kind of driving me nuts. I like having all the t-shirts together, all the cardigans together, etc. That way I just have to sort through one section to find something, rather than the WHOLE closest. I don't get super anal about having everything sorted by color except for I like the white stuff sorted separately. One of the weird things that I get bothered by.
I have made some progress in making decisions about decorating. I have ordered some navy blue damask throw pillows on Etsy, as well as a set of 3 navy blue prints that I am framing this weekend to put up on the wall above our couch. I found some really cute white frames for 50% off at Hobby Lobby, and I hope it turns out really well. We'll see. :) I also found a pattern that I really like for curtains for the window in our kitchen, and will probably order next week once I get around to measuring the window. AND, I found some french-style nightstands on Craigslist for $30 that I picked up last night. They are awfully gaudy-looking right now because they are a cream color with gold accent, and I will be painting them all white and putting some new hardware on them.
I definitely have a passion for buying cheap furniture from thrift stores and/or craigslist and refurbishing them to make it my own. I have done this with 2 dressers and a headboard. I have a secretary desk/cabinet that I have been debating painting white for a few years now, because I kind of like it the way it is, but I am starting to think it will really be a great accent if I paint it. I am kind of feeling some pieces that I have seen here and there that are painted mint green, so that's another idea, too!
I am feeling good because this is starting to feel like home. I love that our complex is part of a big residential neighborhood, rather than on a busy street, and next to commercial stuff like our last apartment. I don't feel unsafe like I did at times at our last apartment. I know it will only get better as we do more with the decorating, and finally get our TV mounted on the wall. (We are pretty intimated by this, but it must be done!)
I haven't heard anything back from the hospice place yet, but I did get rejections letters from the L&D position and the OR position I applied for a couple of months ago. I expected this, but it doesn't mean it doesn't suck. I have no experience as an RN other than my clinical experience, so this is not going to be an easy process. It's hard to spend 30 minutes filling out an application that you know you probably won't get an interview for, but you can't not fill it out because "you never know"! I have to remember that my friends who are teachers waited years to finally land a position, and while I hope this doesn't happen because its important to not lost your skills as a nurse, I can't be discouraged and keep trying.
Mike and I have a busy weekend with a date night planned, and all of the projects that we want to get done. And I will start processing my anxiety about coloring my hair in the next week or so. I desperately need to do this, but I get so anxious when I do anything with my hair. I really hope my colorist is back from leave when I call. While the person I used last time was ok, I just really hate not having the same person every time. Basically, I have to go to my pinterest page of pinned hair pictures, and be kind of obsessive about it til I can make myself ok with going forward. Its stupid, it really is, but I can't help it. I also have been debating starting to go dark again, or just maintain my current color. Mike really wants me to go dark again, but that's a commitment I'm not sure I'm ready to make. Anyway, yes, I am completely nut job when it comes to my hair, end of story. lol
I guess that it is all for now, pray for me that I get downstaffed and don't have to work til 11:30 tonight! Because I have to be at work at the dental office at 7 tomorrow. :(
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
I Did It!
I put my application in to the hospice facility. I also put in an application for a Labor and Delivery position that I'm sure I won't even get a call back about. But at least its a start. We will see how it goes!
Monday, August 6, 2012
Oh, Good Mornng, Anxiety!
I updated my resume last night, and I filled out my application for a hospice and palliative care center in the area. My friend recently started working there, and I was pretty impressed with her starting rate. I have always told myself I didn't think I could do hospice because I'm an emotional sponge. If people around me are stressed, angry, sad, crying, etc., it tends to have a big effect on me, especially the sad and crying part. I am genuinely worried that I will come home crying everyday if I work at a place where people are dying in front of me on a regular basis, and seeing their families go through such a horrible loss. I know I will never know the pain of losing a loved one until it happens to me, but how much I can imagine it is awful enough that it makes me cry.
I feel like such a hypocrite for saying all this time I didn't think I could do it, yet here I am, about to submit my application because it would basically double my income. However, if money was not the issue, it would provide a great opportunity to improve on my skills in supporting my patients and their families as they try to cope with bad outcomes. This is useful no matter where you are working as a nurse. I would someday like to be in the ICU or Labor and Delivery, and while ICU is definitely going to be more heavy on the bad outcomes, they do unfortunately occur in L&D, too, and I'd like to be the best support for my patients as I can.
So, I'm trying to remember that this is a job where I can utilize my nursing skills, improve on the one area that I am terrified of, and will provide much needed experience. There, of course, is no guarantee either that this place will hire me, so I am also totally getting ahead of myself. I just have tried to think this out so much over the last month, because I don't want to quit my jobs to start one here, and then realize I can't do it, and have to beg for my job back at the dental office. I wouldn't be able to go back to my position as a patient care tech once I have had a job as a nurse because of liability issues. So, I have really tried to just weight the pros and cons of this before I even apply, because I don't want to waste anyone's time.
I will work on applications more this week since I have updated my resume, and just keep trying. I am going to try to apply for at least 10 positions each week. As much as I am scared of this job change, I have to do this. Mike really pushed me this weekend. He understood why I am so scared of this, but that I have to make the jump. As much as I want to say ''But, I feel safe at the dental office", I went back to school because I didn't want to be a receptionist for the rest of my life. If I take a job, and it doesn't work out, well then we will just have to cross that bridge when we get there. Either way, I don't feel comfortable trying to have kids or buying a house until I'm more settled in a nursing position, so I gotta get things going one way or another.
Anyway..................that is the source of my anxiety this morning, lol.
I feel like such a hypocrite for saying all this time I didn't think I could do it, yet here I am, about to submit my application because it would basically double my income. However, if money was not the issue, it would provide a great opportunity to improve on my skills in supporting my patients and their families as they try to cope with bad outcomes. This is useful no matter where you are working as a nurse. I would someday like to be in the ICU or Labor and Delivery, and while ICU is definitely going to be more heavy on the bad outcomes, they do unfortunately occur in L&D, too, and I'd like to be the best support for my patients as I can.
So, I'm trying to remember that this is a job where I can utilize my nursing skills, improve on the one area that I am terrified of, and will provide much needed experience. There, of course, is no guarantee either that this place will hire me, so I am also totally getting ahead of myself. I just have tried to think this out so much over the last month, because I don't want to quit my jobs to start one here, and then realize I can't do it, and have to beg for my job back at the dental office. I wouldn't be able to go back to my position as a patient care tech once I have had a job as a nurse because of liability issues. So, I have really tried to just weight the pros and cons of this before I even apply, because I don't want to waste anyone's time.
I will work on applications more this week since I have updated my resume, and just keep trying. I am going to try to apply for at least 10 positions each week. As much as I am scared of this job change, I have to do this. Mike really pushed me this weekend. He understood why I am so scared of this, but that I have to make the jump. As much as I want to say ''But, I feel safe at the dental office", I went back to school because I didn't want to be a receptionist for the rest of my life. If I take a job, and it doesn't work out, well then we will just have to cross that bridge when we get there. Either way, I don't feel comfortable trying to have kids or buying a house until I'm more settled in a nursing position, so I gotta get things going one way or another.
Anyway..................that is the source of my anxiety this morning, lol.
Friday, August 3, 2012
Cheers to the Freakin' Weekend!
Even though I am working at the hospital in the morning tomorrow, I'm happy it is the weekend. I had a quick, and easy day at the dental office today, and I'm planning out our grocery list for tonight. Friday nights are our grocery date night. We hate going on Saturday night, and Sunday is awful unless you get there at the butt crack of dawn. So, Friday nights have turned out to the perfect night to go. Everything is usually stocked pretty well on Friday nights, and less screaming children that make my uterus shrink. We don't usually go out or make plans for Friday night since we both work on Saturday, so its just evolved into our weekly little tradition. Mike's dad thought that we would give that up once I started school, but I budgeted that time for our grocery date every week.
Sure, it really doesn't require both of us, and we are probably a little on the weird side for being so routine about it....but this is what works for us. I don't have to get mad at him for picking up the wrong type of shampoo, and he won't get mad at me for picking up the wrong kind of beer. We plan our meals together based on our schedules for the next week, and we are usually on the same page about what to buy, so it's really not annoying to go shopping with them. As sickening as it may sound, we like going together, and have gone grocery shopping together every single week for the last 5 years, minus the weeks where we have gone on vacation. We intend on keeping it that way until something changes where we can't anymore.
We have changed something about our grocery shopping habits lately, by starting to clip coupons. It takes some work to get them organized, but it is worth it. Last week, we saved $20 on our grocery bill last week between coupons and the 5% discount we get because we have a Target Debit card. If we didn't do our grocery shopping at Target, I wouldn't bother with the Target Debit card, because I am annoyed that it takes days for it come out of our checking account......but because we do so much of our shopping there, it was stupid to NOT get one. If you spend $100 a week at Target, you save $520 a year just because you have their Debit card. Sure, you can get their Credit card, too....but that's a whole world of danger that I don't care to accept the invitation to. So, luckily, I am pretty anal about keeping our checkbook balanced, but its just annoying to have to wait to make sure it all balances because Target takes their sweet ol' time.
Oh! And Target has started putting coupons on their website for you to print out, and they can send text messages with coupons you can redeem from your smartphone. (Geez, am I sounding like a commercial for Target, or what?!) I also have been getting coupons for free from Coupons.com. I just like having coupons for stuff that we were going to buy anyway. If I wasn't planning on buying 10 Weight Watchers entrees, that $3 off coupon is no good to me. But a $1 off lunch meat that we would buy whether or not we had a coupon? Score in my opinion.
My mom was an extreme couponer before it became popular Like, bought 2 extra pantries, and a huge deep freezer because of the stuff she was buying. It was embarrassing when she would drag in what started as a small recipe box, and eventually turned into a shoe box into the grocery store, BUT, I was also pretty cool with the amount of Hot Pockets we always had stocked. (I mean, Hot Pockets were the shit when I was 13!!) I don't think I could ever put the kind of energy into it that my mom did, nor do I wish to turn our 2nd bedroom into my stockpile room, but I figure coupons allow us to keep more of our money, so why not? It's just the two of us right now, there is no way in hell I'm going to buy 10 bottles of ketchup just because I can get them for free. It's just not going to happen, but 50 cents off one bottle is ok with me.
I do, however, want to stockpile cheap frosting so I can practice frosting with my tips. Maybe a trip to the dollar store is in order, they sell frosting, right? I'd frost slices of bread, or on wax paper or something.....because those cupcakes I made the other night are gone, and I don't think it would be a good time to make more cupcakes to practice on! lol
Oh, and as for a nursing goal? I have to get over this fear of putting in my job applications. I will think about working on my resume, and putting in more applications this weekend!
Sure, it really doesn't require both of us, and we are probably a little on the weird side for being so routine about it....but this is what works for us. I don't have to get mad at him for picking up the wrong type of shampoo, and he won't get mad at me for picking up the wrong kind of beer. We plan our meals together based on our schedules for the next week, and we are usually on the same page about what to buy, so it's really not annoying to go shopping with them. As sickening as it may sound, we like going together, and have gone grocery shopping together every single week for the last 5 years, minus the weeks where we have gone on vacation. We intend on keeping it that way until something changes where we can't anymore.
We have changed something about our grocery shopping habits lately, by starting to clip coupons. It takes some work to get them organized, but it is worth it. Last week, we saved $20 on our grocery bill last week between coupons and the 5% discount we get because we have a Target Debit card. If we didn't do our grocery shopping at Target, I wouldn't bother with the Target Debit card, because I am annoyed that it takes days for it come out of our checking account......but because we do so much of our shopping there, it was stupid to NOT get one. If you spend $100 a week at Target, you save $520 a year just because you have their Debit card. Sure, you can get their Credit card, too....but that's a whole world of danger that I don't care to accept the invitation to. So, luckily, I am pretty anal about keeping our checkbook balanced, but its just annoying to have to wait to make sure it all balances because Target takes their sweet ol' time.
Oh! And Target has started putting coupons on their website for you to print out, and they can send text messages with coupons you can redeem from your smartphone. (Geez, am I sounding like a commercial for Target, or what?!) I also have been getting coupons for free from Coupons.com. I just like having coupons for stuff that we were going to buy anyway. If I wasn't planning on buying 10 Weight Watchers entrees, that $3 off coupon is no good to me. But a $1 off lunch meat that we would buy whether or not we had a coupon? Score in my opinion.
My mom was an extreme couponer before it became popular Like, bought 2 extra pantries, and a huge deep freezer because of the stuff she was buying. It was embarrassing when she would drag in what started as a small recipe box, and eventually turned into a shoe box into the grocery store, BUT, I was also pretty cool with the amount of Hot Pockets we always had stocked. (I mean, Hot Pockets were the shit when I was 13!!) I don't think I could ever put the kind of energy into it that my mom did, nor do I wish to turn our 2nd bedroom into my stockpile room, but I figure coupons allow us to keep more of our money, so why not? It's just the two of us right now, there is no way in hell I'm going to buy 10 bottles of ketchup just because I can get them for free. It's just not going to happen, but 50 cents off one bottle is ok with me.
I do, however, want to stockpile cheap frosting so I can practice frosting with my tips. Maybe a trip to the dollar store is in order, they sell frosting, right? I'd frost slices of bread, or on wax paper or something.....because those cupcakes I made the other night are gone, and I don't think it would be a good time to make more cupcakes to practice on! lol
Oh, and as for a nursing goal? I have to get over this fear of putting in my job applications. I will think about working on my resume, and putting in more applications this weekend!
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Goals
For a moment, I'm putting aside my nursing goals to talk about my personal goals. Now that school is done, and we are pretty settled into our new home, I actually have time to do things like baking and reading without fighting with myself about spending time on something other than studying or packing! So, I have some personal, non-nursing related things that I want to work on for myself. Here it goes:
1. Do more baking. I found the spring form pans we received as a shower gift over 4 years ago when we were unpacking. I have to admit it has inspired me quite a bit to get back to baking, trying new things. I want to learn how to make cheesecake, and make a dang good cheesecake at that. I want to improve on my cupcake icing skills. I made cupcakes tonight, and finally used decorating tips to frost them, and I didn't do too bad, but I do need to improve. I probably need to plan to have more frosting on hand than normal until I get better at being consistent. Either way, I just want to master more things with baking.
2. Get my sparkle back. When I get busy, I sacrifice things like facials, hair cuts, highlights, pedicures.... The last two times I've gotten my hair colored, I brought my school books with me so I could study. It's not been the relaxing time that it should be. And even now, I hardly have any time to do these things because of how many hours I'm working. So, my goal is start making time for this in a couple of weeks once I get more things done with decorating the apartment. I have however started going back to the tanning bed, because I need the Vitamin D boost since I haven't been able to enjoy much outside time lately (not like I would want to anyway with how hot its been lately...yuck!)
3. Read more. I love reading, but it is so hard for me to just suck it up and get started.
4. I have to accept that no matter how much I wish I could fix certain situations, I can't if the other people involved don't want to fix it. I am not a sweep-it-under-the-rug kind of person, because I grew up being expected to do that when I was hurt. If the other party can only conclude that I'm just crazy for being upset, and they are in no way responsible at all or have done anything wrong, I have to start to accept that person is not someone who is going to be in my life, nor am I going to waste my time anymore. My attempts at being nice or trying to talk things out have obviously been big, fat failures, so I give up. I don't like it, because it doesn't just affect me, it affects the people around me, but I refuse to put my feelings out there anymore. As much as I want to hope that people can grow up, and work things out like adults, I am starting to think I have to start realizing people aren't as grown up as they should be.
5. Being better about being on time. My boss has always been super lenient with me, and doesn't ever say "Erica, why were you 5 minutes late today?". From day one , as long as I wasn't opening up the office, it was "Oh, whenever you get here is fine". She's very laid back about this stuff, and I have to admit, after 5 years, its not even a thought to me anymore. But I'm trying to be better about it because I want to make sure I'm getting my hours in, especially because there are times we get out earlier than expected, and if I came in late, it takes a chunk out of my paycheck. I'm hardly ever late when I work at the hospital because they monitor it, and have policies they adhere to pretty strictly, so I know my being lax about time is a result of not feeling like my boss cares. I must change this.
I think I'll stop here, because I'm sleepy and there is some train wreck show on VH1 about girls partying with their moms...wth?
1. Do more baking. I found the spring form pans we received as a shower gift over 4 years ago when we were unpacking. I have to admit it has inspired me quite a bit to get back to baking, trying new things. I want to learn how to make cheesecake, and make a dang good cheesecake at that. I want to improve on my cupcake icing skills. I made cupcakes tonight, and finally used decorating tips to frost them, and I didn't do too bad, but I do need to improve. I probably need to plan to have more frosting on hand than normal until I get better at being consistent. Either way, I just want to master more things with baking.
2. Get my sparkle back. When I get busy, I sacrifice things like facials, hair cuts, highlights, pedicures.... The last two times I've gotten my hair colored, I brought my school books with me so I could study. It's not been the relaxing time that it should be. And even now, I hardly have any time to do these things because of how many hours I'm working. So, my goal is start making time for this in a couple of weeks once I get more things done with decorating the apartment. I have however started going back to the tanning bed, because I need the Vitamin D boost since I haven't been able to enjoy much outside time lately (not like I would want to anyway with how hot its been lately...yuck!)
3. Read more. I love reading, but it is so hard for me to just suck it up and get started.
4. I have to accept that no matter how much I wish I could fix certain situations, I can't if the other people involved don't want to fix it. I am not a sweep-it-under-the-rug kind of person, because I grew up being expected to do that when I was hurt. If the other party can only conclude that I'm just crazy for being upset, and they are in no way responsible at all or have done anything wrong, I have to start to accept that person is not someone who is going to be in my life, nor am I going to waste my time anymore. My attempts at being nice or trying to talk things out have obviously been big, fat failures, so I give up. I don't like it, because it doesn't just affect me, it affects the people around me, but I refuse to put my feelings out there anymore. As much as I want to hope that people can grow up, and work things out like adults, I am starting to think I have to start realizing people aren't as grown up as they should be.
5. Being better about being on time. My boss has always been super lenient with me, and doesn't ever say "Erica, why were you 5 minutes late today?". From day one , as long as I wasn't opening up the office, it was "Oh, whenever you get here is fine". She's very laid back about this stuff, and I have to admit, after 5 years, its not even a thought to me anymore. But I'm trying to be better about it because I want to make sure I'm getting my hours in, especially because there are times we get out earlier than expected, and if I came in late, it takes a chunk out of my paycheck. I'm hardly ever late when I work at the hospital because they monitor it, and have policies they adhere to pretty strictly, so I know my being lax about time is a result of not feeling like my boss cares. I must change this.
I think I'll stop here, because I'm sleepy and there is some train wreck show on VH1 about girls partying with their moms...wth?
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