Christmas is Almost Here!!

2 days to go until Christmas Eve!  I am pretty excited.  Ok, ok, maybe REALLY excited.  I have the realization that this is probably the last holiday season where I get a lot of time off for a while.  I fully expect to be working either Christmas Eve or Christmas day next year, one way or the other.  Which makes me sad, but it is going to be what it's going to be.  So for now, I will enjoy this year's Christmas as much as I can.

I have been ahead of the game getting everything done.  I thought I'd take longer to get my shopping done since I didn't have to ship our presents......got it all done in one day.  Figured I'd take FOREVER dragging out getting our cards addressed and sent, got it all done in one-two days (one night to address, 2nd day to stamp, stuff, and send!).  I did drag out the wrapping just a little bit, since some of our gifts were ordered online, it took a while before I could officially say I was done wrapping, but I got that done about a week ago!

I am beyond happy with our Christmas decorations, and definitely hope to add more and more each year.  I saw an idea on Pinterest for displaying your Christmas cards by wrapping a piece of ribbon around your cabinet doors in your kitchen, and then you just pin the cards you get to the ribbon as they come in.  It turned out fabulously!  I am so pleased with it, and will definitely do this from now on! It just makes the kitchen look so festive!  Of course, I'm running out of room, so other card display ideas may be needed!

Here is a close up of that little tray above our sink.  Mike's uncle J gave it to me for Christmas a couple of years ago, and I kind of forgot about it, but found myself in love with it this year!

And here is our fireplace again just for reinforcement, because I still love it so much, although must remember next year to learn how the hell to take care of poinsettias....ours are now looking pretty sad looking.

In recent news, my blonde hair has now been replaced with a beautiful brunette!  I was feeling so bored with the blonde, it always looked the same, then I'd have to deal with the shit-stain looking roots for a month until it was time to go back again.  It was so difficult to keep my hair moisturized, and I needed a change!  I didn't tell Mike, because I wanted to surprise him.  I had to ignore some of his texts asking for pictures throughout the day because I wanted to see the look on his face!  And I wasn't disappointed. :)  He loved it, and stopped mid-sentence once he saw it.  Most people either had that reaction, or it didn't register at all until I started staring at them weirdly for a long time, lol.  But I'm very pleased with it. :)

We also had a really fun time last Sunday.  We had a Christmas brunch with a bunch of friends, and it was super-amazing-delicious.  I got cinnamon roll french toast, and hot damn was it good!!

Then we headed downtown to make our 3:00 reservations at the The Palm Court inside the Drake Hotel for afternoon tea.  It always stunning inside that place, and even more so because it was Christmas time.  The tea and mini sandwiches were amazing, as expected.  I really never thought I would find myself to be the "tea time" kind of gal, but now I drink hot tea every single day.  I have my mom-in-law to thank for that.  I started drinking hot tea after I was finally able to make it to the ladies' tea she organizes at her church.  Chamomile tea is my favorite, but I hope to branch out and try some new ones, like this Rose Champagne tea I saw at Teavana!

I really hope we go back to have afternoon tea again around my birthday!  Cuz then they could play Happy Birthday on the harp for me! :) I'm a child, I know.

I was super pleased with how my cookie exchange and potluck went at work!  Some people took a little bit of work to get them to sign up, but we had about 8 people total sign up, and it was just so fun.  I tried a new recipe I found on Pinterest for Peppermint White Chocolate M&M cookies, and they were amazing!  You can find the recipe here: http://www.twopeasandtheirpod.com/white-chocolate-peppermint-mm-cookies/

This is how mine turned out, not as pretty, but I'm sure just as delicious!

And everyone loved them!  I texted my boss to let her know how much I loved the cookies she made, which were amazing!! And she told me that she and her husband ate them all! :)  I was really happy with them.  I am going to make some more either today or tomorrow to take to our families, because I am sure they will love them!  The only problem is M&M better make these every year if they are to become a Christmas tradition! :) 

And here is Dr. G.'s contribution to our cookie exchange, maybe I won't bug him to sign up for the cookie exchange again next year.  lol

Although those poison cookies were amazing, I need to know what bakery he went to!  And that tray is fluffing adorable!  I was hoping he would let one of us have it, but no such luck.  lol

And everyone brought something for the potluck, and my boss ordered pizzas.  And it just made me extremely happy to see everyone participate even though people were grumbling that no one was going to do it.  It just made me really happy to have pulled it off, and got some of the Christmas grinches to turn a new cheek. :)  And we all ate WAY WAY WAY too much.  I made a cheeseball for the potluck, and I thought it was awful when I taste-tested it.  It was way too salty, but I figured maybe someone would like a lot of salt and brought it anyway.  The whole thing was devoured.  I was truly surprised everyone loved it as much as they did.  It made me want to try some different kinds of cheeseballs, because it was really easy to make!

Today is day 1 of 9 days off.  I am so excited to have some time off.   I am also really excited for our road trip to go see my family!!  We are leaving at 5 in the morning Christmas day, and come back the 29th late.  It is going to be so nice to have all of this time with them, and get to enjoy my mom's cooking!  And Waffle House of course, big priority is to eat as much WH as I can!  Before we go though, I have a LOT of baking to do:

Gotta make more of the M&M cookies, my Santa cookies, and of course....Puppy Chow (Or muddy buddies,whatever you want to call it).  I also want to squeeze in some pampering time before we pack, and pick up our rental, etc.  Luckily, I was on the ball with all of my other Christmas tasks, so I have plenty of time to just relax, too!

Gotta get another cup of coffee and get moving.  Next blog won't be until the New Year probably.  So, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  Next post will be NY resolutions and goals!

Just what the doctor ordered!

Yesterday my office had our annual Christmas luncheon, and we had an amazingly fun time. Everyone has been somewhat upset this week because the owner changed the requirement to be considered full-time because of all of the health insurance things changing, and some people lost their benefits.  So, it's been a rough week for everyone to be happy to come to work for obvious reasons.  And it has just been insanely busy, which is always the case at the end of the year.  The worst part of it is when people get upset with you because they want to squeeze in their cleaning or a crown before the end of the year, and we have nothing to offer them.  People get much nastier this time of year about things like this.  Luckily, I have dealt with it enough that I recover quickly from getting my head bitten off.

Anyway, getting off topic here!  So, everyone has been pretty stressed out, and yesterday was exactly what we all needed.  The whole day me and my friend talked about food because we were saving our appetites for lunch, and we were starving!  Even when we tried to stop talking about food, we kept talking about food!  Luckily, several patients blew us off at the end of the day, and I collected all of the payments up front when the last patients came in so that we could hightail it out of there!  My friend and I came back to my house to change, and then ran over to the restaurant.

Our lunch was at Ruth's Chris in South Barrington, and it was so unbelievably good!  And all of us girls were ordering different kinds of martinis, and passing our drinks along so others could try them.  And I was pretty drunk by my 3rd one!  And my instagram account shows how crazy I went with pictures, were a lot of them weren't very clear cuz of the lighting in our private room, but it still documents the fun!  Me and my friend and another coworker walked around the shopping center to sober up a bit before we drove home.  And we hammed it up with the sales girls in one store who were "mad and refusing to help us" because we didn't invite them to our fun party, lol. 

Oh, and the hygienist kept ordering fru-fru drinks for one of the doctors who is always a bit of a loner in the office, and he hammed it up for us....so it was just exactly what we needed.  I am hoping it will help those who are upset to see they still work at a great office, and I think we got to bond more than we usually get to in the office.  I even managed to muster up some niceness to a coworker who usually does nothing but rub me the wrong way at work and had given up on.  But I think part of that was the alcohol, lol

We have 17 days til we go on our road trip to see my parents.  And hopefully I can get some time in with some friends while we are down there, too!  But I am completely ready!  I am only waiting on 2 items which shipped yesterday, faster than expected!  And I am going to finish wrapping and ribboning what I do have here!  And then I gotta decide on what kind of cookies I'm going to make for my cookie exchange, which right now has 7 people (I got one of the male doctors to sign up, and he wrote poison cookies next to this sign up, lol).  I will be happy with 10, and honestly, I am hoping no more than that because I don't want to make anymore than 60 cookies for this! 

And I have to muster up the courage to make my next hair appointment.  I'm such a wimp.

Weekend Update!!

So Mike and I were able to finish our Christmas shopping the other day, and I was so happy to get that over with! We do have some things ordered online that we are waiting to get, but it will all be here before Christmas! Deciding on what to get for our family was fairly easy, even with the bare bones lists (or non-existent) we got from some. I feel excited about what we got!

I wrapped up the gifts we have in our possession, but I was too tired to put the ribbon on them. So post-its are all they have on them right now, lol. I like doing the ribbon, but I do not like the wrapping part. So I am thankful that a lot of the gifts this year require gift bags. Of course , I still have more to wrap once they are delivered, so I'm only halfway done with the wrapping here.

But at least the shopping is done, cards are sent out, and the house is decorated. So I can spend more time just enjoying Christmas movies and music, and do some baking!!

Mike is having one of his friends over for the game today, and I am just gonna relax today. The last 2 days have been brutal at work, and I need to recharge

Holiday Fun!!

Work sometimes is not a whole lot of fun. We get busy and stressed, and forget to lighten up at times. So I decided a fun way to inject some fun into the office for the holidays is to do a cookie exchange! I got the idea because my mom-in-law always does one with her coworkers. Plus, one of our patients brought up a plethora of cookies this morning! She makes 300 dozen cookies each Christmas! That is just crazy! Anyway, I saw how much everyone squealed over them, so I thought we need to do our own exchange!! I talked to a couple of coworkers and then my boss, and made a flyer and a sign up sheet and ta-da!! Cookie exchange is happening!!

I of course didn't think about how this would work if EVERYONE signed up! But so far there are 4 of us, and a few more who are scared to sign up too early and get stuck making cookies for 20+ people. We are also going to have a little holiday potluck, so it's just something fun to look forward to. Of course, there is also our yearly Christmas lunch at Ruth's Chris! It's not the same as the big party the owner used to throw, but this is really nice because we are all together as an office! And unlimited free drinks makes this girl happy!

I also have Chrismukkah to look forward to even after the holidays with a group of lady friends. Because we are all so busy with holidays things in December, we have it in January, we get a private room at Wildfire, and stuff our faces and exchange gifts. This is our 5th one. We start planning it in the summer time, and draw names super early cause some of us are busy bodies and shop early! I look forward to this so much each year!!

Our bowling league is even having a gift exchange!

In other news, I have my Christmas cards all addresses and signed. I just need to pick up stamps, stuff, seal, and send!! I am surprised I got this done already, but I just sat down last night and powered through it! We got the apartment decorated, and I couldn't be more pleased with the way it looks!! I had a vision, and just made it happen.

Then in a couple of weeks we are going downtown to see the window displays and having afternoon tea at The Drake Hotel. Mike made reservations without me having to ask him! I am so excited to add this to our yearly tradition, they make a mean tiny little sandwich!

And tomorrow, Mike has the day off with me, so we are going out to breakfast and hopefully finishing our Christmas shopping. We already got our gifts to each other, so we just have to get gifts for our family. And gifts for the Yankee gift swap we started doing at the B-fam Christmas. Then my favorite part of wrapping the gifts and putting an obscene amount of ribbon on them!! lol

My picture needs to be by the words happy and excited in the dictionary!

Black Friday or Greedy Thursday?

I am honestly so turned off by what Black Friday has turned into.  You used to be insane if you got out at 5 in the morning.  Then it was 3, then midnight, and now it's 8:00 p.m. Thanksgiving day.  What deal is that important to rush through family time?  I am more disgusted though in the businesses who do this to their employees, and to their customers.  I am afraid of what next year will look like.

I went to work for half a day, and then Mike and I got some lunch.  The mall was still crowded even at 2:30.  We had a specific target, and then we left before we started feeling stabby.  Woodfield is my least favorite place this time of year.  I actually prefer Oakbrook even though it is an outside mall, I feel like there are less stupid people there for some reason.

Thanksgiving was really nice this year!  The wine slushies mom-in-law and I sucked down probably helped. :)  My chicken n dumplings were nothing like my moms, which I felt disappointed about, but it was good for my first batch.  I was totally grossed out when I had to debone the chicken.  I've done how many dissections?  How many cadaver bones, muscles, and organs have I touched and studied?  How many butts have I wiped???  And yet seeing the chicken vertebrae is all it takes to gross me out??  Not sure how much I want to do that again!  Maybe I'll buy some chicken breasts that still have the bone and skin next time and call it a day!

After everyone left, Mike and I stuck around and hung out with his parents.  It was a really nice night, and I wish we had more of them.  It seems like its been forever.  But at least we have Christmas Eve to look forward to!

Speaking of, I think everyone is just gonna get underwear because no one has given us their lists!!  I managed to come up with one, so it is possible!!  My bro-in-law refused to give a list one year, and I warned him that I was going to close my eyes and twirl around around and wherever my finger stopped....that was his gift!  I don't think he thought I was serious, but he did in fact end up with a big ol' pair of granny panties (and a gift card somewhere more gender neutral, of course).  It was pretty funny. :)

My family is the worst offenders with this!!  They know I need to plan in advance, yet they are always so last minute about things!!  *sigh*

We have a pretty easy going weekend planned, just gonna finish decorating our place!  And we gotta make a stop at Tiffany's because one of the pearls on my earrings came off the post, and I'll be truly upset if they can't fix it.  We also need to add on my graduation charm to my charm bracelet.  I've had my eye on that baby for 3 years, and I was so happy when Mike gave it to me in May!  I've procrastinated on getting it added because they have to send it off to New York, and I don't like parting with my Tiffany pieces.  Spoiled girl problems, I know.

Thanks

I'll say it now because tomorrow will be far too busy with family time and stuffing our faces. I am thankful this year for many things. I can't say it enough how blessed we have been this year, and while this year also brought a lot of unnecessary situations and hurt feelings, I still feel it has been a great year thus far.

I am thankful to be done with school, and to finally have my nursing license. I started on this journey over 3 years ago, and I had many panic attacks, nervous breakdowns, and tears to get here. I am so thankful that this chapter in my life is over because I had to sacrifice so much, I had to live with my in-laws (while they are amazing in-laws, no one is super stoked about this living arrangement) for 2 years. I didn't get to see my own family for over 3 years, and didn't spend nearly enough time with Mike. My life was controlled by this program, my instructors, the weekly tests, the thousands of dollars of textbooks. The threat of failing a test induced so much anxiety that I could not do anything other than study. I would not go through that again even if I was paid to do it. So, again, I am very thankful to have this part of my life over with.

I am thankful for my in-laws. They did not have to offer their home to us so that I could go to school without taking out massive loans. This is the most support I have received from anyone in my life other than Mike. I truly could never repay them for this generosity. I would actually be sad to move away from them if we ever moved back to Tennessee. I just would.

I am thankful for my job. I have been there for over 5 years, and it has its frustrating aspects, but it is my work home. My boss has been amazingly flexible with me over the years for school, and the fact that I still had a job waiting for me when I finished school was such a blessing. While I may be having a hard time RN job searching, I am content for the time being.

I am thankful for our home. It finally feels like home to me, and I love coming home to it just being Mike and I. We couldn't be happier.

I am thankful for Mike, above all else. He is there for me no matter what. When I was crying my eyes out over school, or family-issues, or my job search, he was there. I could not have imagined when we first started talking to each other over 11 years ago, that this is where my life would have taken me. He makes me laugh every single day, we wake up every morning and fall asleep every night cuddled up tight. He surprises me by doing sweet things for me, and he makes me feel so loved. He humors me when I'm being cranky, or obnoxious. He accepts me for all that I am, flaws and all. I know he and I make a great team, and I couldn't be happier with this great man who fell into my life.

And lastly, while there have been brutally upsetting situations this year, I have to be thankful for the lessons I've learned from them and move on.

We are having Thanksgiving dinner with Mom and Dad-in-law. I am making chicken n dumplings using my mom's recipe. It's always a bit anxiety inducing using her recipes because there is never a straight-cut method. It's all by using your judgement. Which for something I've never made before is impossible. I'm so nervous to make this. The chicken is cooking now, and I just have to hope for the best!

Bring on the Holidays!

I'm sure that I have said it many times n previous posts about how excited I am for the holidays!  Thanksgiving if officially a week away!  I was craving T-Day dinner so much the other day that it was all me and my coworkers were talking about the other day while we were listening to Christmas music on the light station.  If I didn't feel a trip to Boston Market would cheapen my craving, I'd totally give in!  My Mom and Dad-in-law make an awesome Thanksgiving dinner, and I'm sooo looking forward to stuffing my face with some stuffing, mashed potatoes, and gravy!  Yum!

I decided I was going to work the day after Thanksgiving.  One of the doctors was crazy enough to open his schedule, and our patients are crazy enough to come in!  And Mike and I don't like making it out into the crowds anymore, so why not?  I'll be done by 1, so we can go shopping after that if we wanted.  I really have no clue where to start for Christmas gifts, but luckily I don't have to ship them this year, so I can give myself a bit of a break!  That's one of the things I gotta work on today, is making our list of who we are buying for, jot down some ideas.  And then there is the whole frustrating task of making a list of ideas for myself.  I am awful at it.  Most of the little things I would want, I just buy for myself.  Sure, when I first moved up here and was poor, it was easy because I needed things like plates and crockpots.  I don't really need anything like that anymore, so it makes it difficult.  Maybe I'll just make a "do not want" list, like no smelly-good things, no socks, no Hello Kitty.  No one other than Mike would know my tastes well enough to pick those sort of things out for me, and even him doing that is questionable. lol  I hate to sound like a brat, but that stuff just always ends up in my re-gift basket, that never ends up getting re-gifted because I could never bring myself to do that.

I really don't get stressed out by Christmas shopping.  We set a budget and stick to it.  I already bought my Christmas wrap on clearance after last year.  So all I need are gifts to go inside!  And Christmas cards.  I haven't done them the last few years because of school, and I felt kind of weird sending them from my in-laws' address for some reason, so I am happy I can do them this year! 
I can't wait to make my Santa cookies.  I can't wait to go downtown and see the window displays at Macy's!  And if we have time, I'd LOOOOOVVVE to have tea at the Drake again.  Those little roast beef sandwiches were amazing!  I also can't wait to see my family in Tennessee!  I'm so happy that this is happening this year! 

And speaking of that, I think I'm at a point right now where I may put the job search on hold for the next month.  I would completely devastated to have to cancel our trip because of a job offer, but on the other hand, what better Christmas gift could there be for me at this time?  I also really don't want this big gray cloud hanging over my head to mess with my Christmas.  I get depressed every time I fill out an application, every time I check up my application statuses.  I just get so upset lately doing anything with it.  So, I just think that if I spend too much time trying to job search over the next month, it is going to hamper my ability to be happy about the Holidays.  And I am not going to have a repeat of last year where my Christmas cheer was severely dampened because of some unnecessary dishonesty cast our way.  Lesson learned is all I can say about that.  This is going to be a great Christmas, and I'm so thankful for the good things that are going on in our life!

And yep, Mike got promoted!  I am over the moon excited for him!  He got some really awesome e-mails from the higher ups in his department, praising him for his hard work and success.  He truly has been amazing at his job, and I am so proud of him!  He has been waiting a long time to get this recognition, and I'm so thankful he did, because I was getting nervous he would go job searching on me if he didn't! lol

Not much going on.  Mike is gonna go see Bro-in-law's band play on Saturday, and I'll be out with Mom-in-law on Sunday for the craft show.  I've been somewhat productive today, I even got out to the post-office to ship out something I sold on Bonanza.com.  And I yelled at Norton Antivirus for taking out money for an auto renewal that I didn't authorize! I have an appointment later at my spa/salon, and right now gonna catch some lunch!  Exciting, right?

Free Saturday

I have this lovely day all to myself. I wish Mike could have taken off with me, but it is nice to have the day to yourself sometimes! I'm gonna be productive today, I promise!

We have bowling tonight for our league, and then we are gonna have a little date night afterwards. Let's hope I can stay awake. I have gone to the gym each day this week except Friday, and I have been cashed out by 9. Where is this all this extra energy you are supposed to have from being more active??

I have also been using My Fitness Pal. My doctor told me about it a couple of years ago, but I never tried it out until recently. It is pretty easy to use, and it has a great database of foods, which makes keeping track of your intake really easy. The barcode scanner is my best friend!

I was a little upset when I weighed in because I have been working out a lot this week, and keeping on track calorie wise, and I only lost a pound this week. I have always lost more than this initially when I started a program. But a new coat that I bought isn't as snug as it was, so that is at least something I have to show for my efforts!

I need to get my butt to the gym today, but I'm pretty cozy under my blanket!

My little sister is going to be 17 this Wednesday. I remember being in 6th grade in 1995, and proudly wearing my pin that the hospital gave me with her foot print on it. I loved getting to be Junior Mom, and feeding her and getting her to fall asleep while she laid on my chest. It makes me feel old.

Next week, Mom-in-law and I have our annual Crafts fair outing. It's always the same booths, but we like going. This year, I'm excited to find some cute Christmas things for our place, where I haven't really been able to buy much the last couple of years.

And then it's Turkey time!! I can't believe how quickly time is going by! I want to make my mom's (well I guess my Grandma Welty's, actually) recipe for Chicken 'n' Dumplings. I didn't have time the last couple of years to try to make it, so I think this year is it. It's a staple at my family's Thanksgiving dinner, and I'd like to have it this year! I'm sure the B-Fam will like it!

In other news, I signed up for a couple of the classes I need to start my BSN program. I will be taking Nutrition and Statistics. They are both online classes, that way if I do get a job offer, I won't have to drop the class and lose my money! It is extremely important to me to obtain my Bachelor degree. While I am proud of my Associate degree, it will only get me so far in my career. I have to strive to make myself better in anyway that I can, and this is the next step.

I also want to set the bar high for our kids, and hopefully they will strive for the same thing. Even if they want to be a artist or musician, I want them to get the education and training that will help them be the best that they can be. My parents never finished college because life got in the way, and I was scared that this would be my fate as well. So I am so thankful for the opportunity I received to finish my education! It meant the world to me to be able to achieve this accomplishment, and that I can do what I love, which is to help others. To help someone in their time of need is so important to me as a person, that I couldn't imagine being in any other field. This is what truly matters to me, and I believe it is the most important thing you can do for another human being.

I could never do a job in Sales, where its all about meeting your goals so your paycheck is better. That has just never been my motivation.

So I guess it's time to get my butt to the gym!!

Weekend Update!!

Last night went off perfectly! I decided to take a risk, and make something new and different from my normal southern comfort food for Mom and Dad-in-law last night. I really wanted to make this chicken dish that I had from the hospital cafeteria during my Capstone that was rice and cheese stuffed, salsa smothered chicken. I just couldn't find a recipe anywhere! So I improvised a bit, and stuffed the chicken with cheese, smothered it with salsa and hoped for the best, and it was AMAZING!! I also made Southwestern stuffed peppers from a recipe I found on Pinterest, and those turned out great! We made some Spanish rice, some different kinds of salsa, some cheese quesadillas, tortilla chips, and I even made guacamole for the first time!!

I was a bit nervous pulling this all off, but I timed everything perfectly! We all ate til we hurt! I also made my jello poke cake to top it all off!! I just couldn't have imagined it would all go so smoothly! And luckily we have lots of leftovers that I'm so excited to eat!

I just love cooking for other people, especially when it turns out so well. It just makes me feel good. :)

We also played Life on the Wii, and we had so much fun. It took forever!! I was almost falling asleep by the time we were done, but I won!! We had a really good time, and got to hear about their trip to D.C., which actually made me want to go visit sometime!

Today, I just want to relax. I overdid it at the gym on Thursday and really hurt my hip. I'm feeling better, though. I have just been so busy with errands and trying to plan the dinner last night that I need a freebie day!!

The Bears are playing the Titans today, so I'll be happy either way the game goes! I'm just feeling happy today! :). This week is gonna be rough at work because both my boss and one of my coworkers is on vacation. Then we have an all day seminar for all of the employees of the company, not just my office, on Friday. So my nice short and quick Friday turns into a 9 hour class. But we are getting fed at least!

And I love Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta SO much more than the New York one. It just makes me feel like in back home. :) We are less than 2 months away from getting to go back home, by the way! So happy!

And I ended up taking a few days off of job searching. I need to recharge my batteries because I am worn down. I'm back to not talking anymore about it until I have something positive to share.

That is all for now!! :)

Happy Halloween!!

Hubby is in class tonight, and we are immune from candy-hungry trick or treaters, so I get to relax and watch Toddlers & Tiaras tonight. :)  Don't Judge, these episodes have Honey Boo Boo in them, and that little girl is too much!  We were pretty slow at work today as Halloween candy and teeth are not a big mix.  No one wants to feel guilty about eating their candy today.  But I'll take the slow work day when it comes around.  And Mike had today off of work, so he picked me up and we went on a little lunch date.  I'm happy I have a hubby who does things like this for me, I'm one lucky girl. :)

We went to the pumpkin patch this weekend, and picked up some pumpkins and some yummy fudge!  I also got a caramel apple. :)  It would be a lot more fun to go once we have kids.  We never went to pumpkin patches when I was growing up.  The bins they get at the grocery store was our pumpkin patch.  Mike always went to the p-patch.  I wish we could have done things like this growing up, but my mom has issues with crowds, and I'm sure money was a factor, too.  But I would just hate for my anxiety to keep my kids from doing things that make for good memories.  And I can't wait for us to have kids and get to do things like this with them.

We also went for our yearly eye exams.  I have somehow developed an astigmatism.  I used to have better than 20/20 vision, and nursing school has completely ruined my vision.  All this studying, all this reading, time in front of the computer, have resulted in my vision going to the crappers.  I need readers to reduce my eye strain for up close, and I need glasses for distance.  Yes, I have two pairs of glasses.  Last year, I tried contacts and then just using my readers over them when needed, but my eyes just weren't having it.  So I got a new set of glasses made for my distance lenses, and they are cute so I'm ok with wearing these all the time.  I'm going try to get to get better about wearing my glasses round the clock instead of just when I can tell something is blurry, and hope that maybe my vision will improve.

I'm so over people telling me I should have no problem finding a job because of the nursing shortage.  The economy sucks, the hospitals can afford to be pickier in their hiring practices.  As a result, people like me have a harder time finding an entry-level position because we are more expensive to hire and train up front.  It is just so depressing.  I want to be proud of the fact that I am a nurse,and not be ashamed to admit that I am a nurse having a hard time finding a position and still working as a receptionist/treatment coordinator.  I've said it before, I am extremely fortunate to have a good, stable job while I job search, but it just makes me want to cry when I think about it.  That's all I can say.

Luckily, I have tomorrow off of work, and I plan on doing more job searching.   I also have to plan our menu for having mom and dad-in-law over for dinner this weekend.  There is one dish that I had during a lunch break when I was in my Capstone at the hospital that was amazing, and I hope I can find a recipe to make that or come up with my own! It's gonna be fun making something new!

We should be finding out in the next week or two whether or not Mike is getting promoted at work.  He deserves this so much!  He does such a great job at work, and he has really worked hard to meet the goals that were set for him, like passing more ASE certification exams.  I wish his company didn't take so long to make these decisions, because I wanna know now!! :)

New Direction

I have come to the conclusion that my efforts in obtaining a job in a hospital have been a bit of a waste of time.  I have literally applied to every hospital I know of in the area, or that I am willing to commute to, and its just not gonna happen.  It is all because of experience, and my lack of it.  So, I am taking this job search in a new direction.  I'll still apply at hospitals if I see a position that seems like it could be open to a new graduate, but that will no longer be my main focus.  I have begun the process of applying at long term care facilities.  It is not my ideal, but if it will provide with a paying RN position, I'm just gonna have to put my big girl panties on and deal with it. 

In fact, I needed to turn in an application in person at this one place because they do not have an online application system.  So I stopped in on my lunch break yesterday and figured I'd just hand it over, walk out, and go back to work.  Wrong.  The man at the reception desk stopped me from leaving, clarified that I was an RN, and made a phone call.  Next thing I know I'm walking down a hallway to meet someone who wanted to interview me on the spot.  I was interviewed by the Assistant Director of Nursing, and it went pretty well.  It was definitely a more laid back interview because the woman had a migraine, so the lights were all off exept her desk light.  Pretty sure she used "bitching" a few times.  But my goodness, it was a much needed ego boost after what happened on Friday.  To actually feel like I was making a good impression made me feel so much better.  Of course, she isn't the one who makes the final decision, but still I had a good interview.  It helped lift me out of this bit of a depression I have been in, even if it doesn't result in a job offer. 

However, I am still immensely anxious about the idea of working in a long term care facility.  15+ patients?  I will be doing nothing but passing pills, doing treatments, and documenting and praying I make it out a live!  There are tons of horror stories out there about LTC, and I'd hate for my license to be in jeopardy before I even really get started.  But then I remember I made it through the hell that is nursing school, I can probably handle just about anything now, lol.  I  wish my program gave us a rotation in LTC.  Our entire program is basically how to care for a patient in the hospital setting, yet how many of us have no chances of getting a hospital job right now because the hospitals are all going through merges or job cuts??  They could have prepared us for this aspect of nursing a little better in my opinion.

So, current tally of 100+ (I'm not counting anymore, beyond this, its ridic) applications, 3 interviews, 1 creeper, and zero job offers.

Oh....you want to hear about the creeper do you?  Well, sure, why not!  I work in a dental office currently, and I see dozens of patients every day, and talk to just as many on the phone.  So, its actually a nice place to network as long as you aren't wearing a blinking sign above your head that says "Hire me!!".  So, a male patient that was in the other day happened to work at one of the LTCs in the area that I was considering applying to.  So I just asked him about the staffing, and told him that I was a nurse, and shared my anxiety about LTCs after my CNA clinicals at ManorScare a few years ago.  He gave me his business card, and offered to forward my resume along to the DON.  I thought this was really nice of him.  So I e-mailed him my resume the next day, and right away, I get 3 e-mails back from him.  1st one consisted of saying he was glad to help, and a note to the DON about my resume (guy apparently doesn't know how to use e-mail because this should not have been a combined e-mail).  The 2nd one consisted of him asking me if I was married, but that it was just a joke because HE was married, but that there was always something about nurses ".......".  Then a 3rd e-mail directing me to which website to go to in order to apply for a position.

My biggest problem with this is that while he was trying to pass this off as a joke, it had a sexual tone to it.  I get the whole "naughty nurse" stereotype, and I'm sure there are men who have fantasies about the sexy nurse who passes out lollipops and blow jobs.  However, as a nurse, the ONLY man who is allowed to reference this kind of stereotype to me is my husband.  And 2nd, this stereotype completely disregards the years of sacrifice and tears I cried getting through nursing school.  It is not simply a silly little program where they teach you how to give sponge baths.  It is by far the most challenging thing I have been through in my life.  You are literally learning how to keep doctors from accidentally killing their patients.  This stereotype is offensive because it makes it seem as if nurses are just sluts in scrubs, not intelligent and highly skilled individuals.  I met him in a professional manner, the e-mail was sent in a professional manner, and he turns it into an inappropriate and icky situation.

And of course, just a couple of hours after this happened, I realized I left my cell phone in my car and went downstairs to get it, and guess who is standing at the bottom of the stairs?? Yep, that's right. Good ol' Mr. Creeper.  Who happened to be there with his WIFE and CHILD.  I would be livid if Mike made a joke like this to another woman.  Under normal circumstances, I would have responded to thank him for forwarding my information along, but in this situation, I walked past him as quickly as I could have.  I feel a bit violated, honestly.  This guy received my resume,which has my address, e-mail, and cell phone number on it.  He's not the type of person I want having that information.  It may seem like I am overreacting, and maybe I am, maybe I watch too many unsolved mysteries.  But, this just gave me a gross, violated feeling, and it is what it is. 

I am pretty much turned off at the idea of even applying to this place now because of this.  Which sucks because I'd hate to let some creep ruin a potential job opportunity for me, but I just don't know if its a good idea.  I don't want to put myself into any other situations that could turn into inappropriate messes because of this man.  I pray I'm not at the front desk the next time he comes in for an appointment.

Otherwise, things are good.  Finally getting my hair done on Friday.  I wish I didn't have such anxiety about this, but my intentions of going in at 6 weeks turns into 2 months.  I just fret over it way more than any normal person should.  It's ridiculous.  My hair is actually getting closer to the length that I want it, despite what I know my stylist would say if he saw me.  He'd scold me for sure.  They want you in for trims every so often, and I'm just not compliant.  I am good with my deep conditioning masks, my conditioner, my leave-in conditioner.  Of course I do round brush it everyday, but I don't use the high setting anymore, I only use warm air, and I think its made a big difference.  So, I'm rationalizing my lack of a haircut since the spring time, and I'm sticking to it.

And on a random note: our place smells like vanilla cupcakes when you walk in thanks to the Yankee Candle plug-ins we got a couple of weeks ago.  I love them!

Weekend Update

That second interview I had was crushing.  It started out with the interviewer telling me about the department, the job, etc.....and then 2 questions about me, and then me trying to ask some questions that she hadn't already answered in her 5 minute monologue.  And then it was done.  I was so caught off guard by how quickly it was over.  I was surprised by the lack of technical questions, the "Describe a time......." or "How would you handle this situation?".  I tried my best to interject with some information about my skills, work experience, but she didn't seem too concerned with that.  I just thought it was such a strange and unusual interview, and the way she ended it was just bizarre.  Maybe she already had made a decision to hire someone else but had to still interview me, or maybe she didn't like my answers to the very basic questions she had asked me.  Or she didn't like my sweater.  Who knows, but I would be very surprised if anything else comes from this.  Which I was devastated following the interview, the job sounded awesome, and the facility was beautiful, and part of me had a little bit more of my hopes up because it was a 2nd interview, rather than a 1st.  I just didn't think my time would get wasted like that.  And of course, as I'm trying to hold in tears as I'm leaving, its pouring down raining, where I had sunshine before I entered.  It's like the weather decided to coordinate with my emotions.

My friends have tried to reassure me to not write this place off yet, and that maybe the person was just a bad interviewer, or why would they spend so much time talking about what the job would involve, etc, if they weren't seriously considering me?  But its hard to  remain optimistic because she didn't close the interview in an open-ended manner "We'll let you know when we have made a decision" or "We will be in touch".  So, I have no real indication to work with, in my opinion, that this will go anywhere else.  I was sad the rest of the night, but I'm doing my best to just keep it moving.

For the positive, I can now say that I have had a couple of interviews for practice.  I can no longer say that I've received no interest, because my resume has drawn some interest, even if it hasn't resulted in a job offer yet.  I can critique my interview answers and refine them.  I can only get better.  I just have to keep moving along.

I have started to seriously consider nursing homes, but I'm going to be very selective if I choose to apply to any.  I am just too worried about the safety of a new graduate being responsible for 15+ patients at a time.  I don't want to start a job just to decide I don't feel comfortable doing it and quitting.  The job that will make me leave my current job has to be one that is a good fit for me, period.

In other news, we are taking care of Mom and Dad-in-law's cat while they are out of town.  I am sad Riley is staying with Gramps, because I miss him and would have liked to get to see him when we stop by the house to take care of Timmy the Terrible.  I really wish we could get a dog, but we are in a no-pets building, and with my job situation in the near future being on the unknown side, and Mike being in class after work, it just wouldn't be fair.  *sigh*

Registration for Spring classes is Nov. 6.  I am 95% sure I will be signing up.  I also want to work on getting my ACLS certification.  I just want to keep adding to my resume, rather than just remaining idle and doing nothing.  I also have to start working on my Continuing Education.  To renew your license, you have to have so many CE Credits, which I believe I currently have zero, unless you count renewing my BLS certification., which I don't think it does.

And today is absolutely beautiful!! Gonna enjoy the heck out of it!!

Yes, I am Indeed Impatient

Just got a call for a second interview today.  I had started looking up nursing homes today, in defeat, and there weren't even any positions there to apply for.  I had just finished an application when my phone started ringing, and I thought "Damn, that was fast!!" But it was for the place I interviewed with last week!  I am over the moon excited.  Another round of rejection that I have survived!!

This is just what I needed.  So thankful!

Maybe I am Impatient

But 6 days post-interview now, and no call for a follow up interview.  I wrote my thank you card, and I'm moving on.  If they call, great, if not, I expected that.  Every rejection e-mail I get feels like hate mail filled with nasty insults and digital punches in the face, and then laughing at me like the bully-kid on the Simpsons.  I know a position will come my way, but the process of getting to it is really doing a number on me.  On one hand, I need a mental break from this stream of constant rejection, but then if I give myself that break, am I missing out on possible opportunities?  It is just so overwhelming and consuming to feel like I must be obsessed with checking application statuses, checking job posting sites for new positions, and seeing if my job search e-mail maybe has a surprise e-mail that didn't get sent to my phone for some reason (which never happens).  I just didn't think that I'd be at this point where I have literally applied for every job that I am qualified for or on the brink of qualifying for that I have found at this point (current count as of today: 94), and still have gotten no where.

 My mom told me that I should strive to get 100 No's as a way of not getting so upset over the rejections, but looking at them as something that is helping me reach a goal.  Honestly, when she first said that, I said in my mind "Yeah right, there is no way I will get to that number without getting SOMETHING!", and well here I am.  I just want to feel like I can focus on just having a normal life, where you go to work, and come home and relax or spend time with my hubby.  I want to be consumed by something else other than this job search.  I have given up 3 years of my life to reaching this point in my life of being a nurse, and I feel like I'll reach 4 years by the time I finally get a position.

*sigh*

There are good things happening in our life, and I need to remember that.  I feel like our place is finally starting to really feel like home.  I have been pretty indecisive about decorating, but I do feel it has worked out in my advantage because I have found some pieces that I could have easily paid two or three times MORE than what I did pay for it had I just purchased the first thing I found.  And I am very pleased with the progress we have made with decorating.  Our 2nd bedroom still plagues me, but besides a couple of projects I want to do, the rest of the house is pretty much the way I want it.

Hopefully exciting things happening with Mike's job.  Planning our trip for Christmas, and thinking about possible places to go for our 5th Anniversary in May.  Mike finishing his program at school this December.  And me going back to school hopefully in January to get started on finishing my Bachelors degree.  This is what I need to keep in the back of my head when I get the job search blues, because life is actually pretty darn good.

First Interview....Check!

I did end up getting an interview out of that call I got the other day! I have been a complete nervous wreck all day, because I really didn't have very much time to prepare. My interview was with the nurse recruiter in human resources, and I feel it went well enough. I could have stated my responses in a more eloquent manner, but I did the best that I could. Truly, it's a learning opportunity if nothing else to help me prepare for the next one.

So she is forwarding my information along to the hiring manager of the position I originally applied to, along with some others that she felt I may be a fit for me. I just have to hope I get a 2nd interview!

I completely passed out as soon as Mike and I got home from having dinner out. I think being in a bit of a an anxiety attack all day took its toll on me. Now I'm sure trying to sleep tonight will be impossible!!

Finally.....A Call!!

I tallied up all of my applications the other day, and I'm well over 85 at this point. Super depressing, and I cried. Maybe I shouldn't have tallied them up, but it was sort of necessary so that I didn't apply again for positions I was already rejected for. I just couldn't believe I had sent my resume in for that many positions, and I couldn't even get beyond the rejecto-bot of the HR department.

I just asked for something. Some sign that this all isn't completely in vain. Because applying to nursing homes was starting to look pretty good. Then, I just happened to check the status for a handful of applications I had out at one hospital, and to my surprise....they had been forwarded to the unit manager.

What?!??!

I was in shock. I had actually made it past the first round of rejection! Of course, no phone call as of yet, but I wasn't instantly rejected! And someone human looked at my resume and thought I may be a possibility....this was the little push of encouragement I needed.

I also got a call today from another application I sent in last week. Extra push of encouragement!! I was at work when they called, so I am hoping they will return my call tomorrow! I don't want to get my hopes up, but again....to have a human person actually review my resume and actually think I deserved a phone call makes me happy.

I just have to keep going. It may still be months from now before I have a nursing position, but I can't let this get me down.

What a Beautiful Day!!

This weekend has been absolutely perfect weather wise! Mike and I are really enjoying the two days we have off together. We did some shopping, and took a nice walk today through the forest preserve. I am feeling blessed beyond belief lately. I feel at peace more than I have in a long time, and I have an amazing husband by my side.
I am so happy that I didn't fail my last semester of nursing school, and that we were able to move into our own place again. I was extremely fortunate that my boss was able to give me full time hours again, and has been so supportive of me. I know someone up above is looking out for me.

My doctor appointment went alright. My blood pressure was up, but I have been under a lot of stress lately, and my anxiety was pretty heavy last week, but that has all subsided now, so I'm not that concerned. I also got my flu shot, and I can't believe I did this, but when the medical assistant started coming at me with the needle, I jerked my arm away from her because I didn't see any alcohol swabs in her hand. Of course, she did have one, and I allowed her to continue, but I felt so silly. That is one downside to being a nurse, you don't just assume medical professionals are doing their job. I find myself critiquing them, and I can't help it.

Hubby is running some errands, so I think a nap is in order for this girl! Then I'm gonna paint my nails. I put a nail hardener on instead of my regular base coat, and the manicure I gave myself last week lasted all week almost! Not too shabby! :)

Weekend Update :)

This weekend has been nice and relaxing.  Although I worked Friday and Saturday, only having to work until one or two on those days makes it ok.  This week I am working Mon-Fri, and Mike took next Saturday off, so we are happy to enjoy our first weekend together I left the hospital and started working every other Saturday at my dental office.  I realize this is something pretty minor to get excited about, as lots of people work M-F 9-5, but I have worked every Saturday for the last 5 years, so I am happy for the change.

We haven't done anything special with our time this weekend, but its just been nice to not have any plans and be able to relax.  There is a forest preserve that is a 5 minute walk away from our place, so we have gone for a couple of walks together to check it out.  It is absolutely beautiful to walk through it, one area is like walking through a field of flowers.  Our last apartment complex was not in an area that I felt comfortable walking around in, so I am really happy to be in the neighborhood that we are, and to have this forest preserve so close by.  We are going to try to take advantage of the weather as much as we can, because taking walks together is something we really like to do.

I am beyond excited that we will be getting to go to Tennessee for Christmas to see my family.  We haven't been able to see my family for Christmas since 2008 due to school, Mike's work, and not having the money because I was only working 6 hours a week.  This year luckily Mike was able to get the time off, I can get the time off, and we have the resources now to make it happen.  We may drive this year since we will have more time off to travel.  It is a 9-10 hour drive, so if we only have 3 days to take off, driving is just not an option.  But we will have pretty much the whole week off, so we will still have a lot of time to spend with my family even if we drive.  Plus, we can try to see how many Waffle Houses we can find along the way to stop at! :)  But seriously, $600 airfare compared to maybe $200-250 in gas is kind of a no-brainer.  We always rent a car when we go down there, so that is a savings that looks pretty good to me.

Sure, it is stressful traveling during the holidays, but its just a way of life for me.  We always traveled for Christmas growing up.  We never got to open our presents on Christmas morning because we weren't home until late at night Christmas Day.  Yeah, I was pretty jealous of my cousins who came to my Grandpa's house wearing their new outfits and carrying their new toys, but it was just what we did every year, so we were used to it.  Since I have moved up here, its been different because Mike traveled with me to see my family.  He never had to travel, and here I am making him wake up at 3 in the morning so we could leave for Flora by 5 to get to my Grandpa's for my Mom's side's gathering.  But it was the only way that he could still have Christmas with his family since they have their party Christmas Eve night, and for me to see mine.  Luckily, he has been a trooper and gone along for the ride, and Christmas with the B-Fam is now a tradition for me that I look forward to every year.  We found a way to make it work for us.

I am really excited for Christmas this year for some reason.  While I suck at coming up with a wish list for myself, I LOVE coming up with gift ideas for others.  I feel really excited when I come up with a good idea, and it just feels good to give to others.  This may be a sore subject now, but I found these really cute camera earrings last year for my sister-in-law last year.  And I thought it was perfect because she really loves taking pictures, and it wasn't a huge, extravagant gift, but I was really excited to give them to her.  My parents are responsible for this.  We were given a set amount of money each year, and we had to take that and find a gift for our parents and siblings.  It was a challenge to find the best gift you could and stay within your budget.  So, sure, they weren't big gifts, but it really drove home that its the thought that matters.  Even when I first moved up here, and was super-super poor, I found a recipe for a sugar-free cake since my Dad-in-law is Diabetic and was on a strictly no-sugar diet, and I found a pretty cake stand to put it on that I could afford for my Mom-in-law.  And I made my family's Santa cookies, which are now a B-Fam tradition,too!  I put them in a really cute basket that was 50% off at Michael's.  That was my gift to them since that was all I could afford.  I have been fortunate that I have not been that poor since that year, but if bad times come, at least I know I can get creative and keep my Christmas traditions alive and still get that happy feeling I get from giving.

I am soooo excited to start collecting more Christmas decorations.  We never had the space for much at our last apartment, and we certainly didn't have the space living with the in-laws.  So this year, I am just really excited to dress up our place for the holidays!

And geez, its 3 months away, and I'm already babbling on and on about Christmas, I'll stop now! lol

In other news, the yearly violation is coming up on Tuesdays.  Seriously, whoever made it a rule that girls must go through this awful exam just to get the next year's worth of birth control refills should be shot.  That's all I am gonna say about that.

Oh, holy crap, I just realized I completely forgot that Grey's comes back this week!  And Scandal is still coming on right after! Happy Dance!!  Again, seriously minor thing to get excited about, but I can finally follow TV shows without having to catch up during a rare day off watching them on Netflix.  We still have to catch up on Sons of Anarchy, but I am happy to be regaining some normalcy here.  And Breaking Amish....Amish Jersey Shore, and we are loving it!!

Happy Dance at my Desk!

The last patient of the day at my office today has a long history with us. We haven't seen each other in a long time because I was busy with nursing school, so we were catching up. She was excited about my hair because I was a brunette the last time she saw me. So I told her I was done with school, and she kind of frowned because I'd be leaving. I assured her I would be there a while longer because of how difficult it is for new grads with no experience. She happens to work on the cardiology department of a big hospital in the area, and gave me her work e-mail so I could send her my resume. She is going to forward it along to the director for me. This certainly can just as quickly go the reject route like anything else, but to be able to bypass the HR system and get straight through to a unit is enough to make me a happy girl. I almost started crying.

So, that is all, I said I wouldn't talk about this anymore unless something positive happened, and this is a little spot of sunshine for now! Lol how little it takes to make me a happy girl, huh??!

Day Off!! :)

This is my first week only having to work 5 days, and I am enjoying it! Today was my first official day off, and I got to share it with Mike! He had some vacation/personal days to take, so he took today off to be with me! We had to get up early because I needed to get bloodwork done in preparation for my yearly check up and violation. But we got some yummy cheese and strawberry pastry from
Jarosch! I love this place so much. My boss is friends with the owners, and he insisted that we get our wedding cake from them, and it was the best cake I've ever had! It was a really nice start to our morning! :)

We did a little shopping and got some lunch. An upsetting thing threatened to ruin my day, but I refused to let that happened. Hubby and I took a nap, and then took a walk through the forest preserve by our place, and it was beautiful! The weather today was perfect for a walk, and we love getting to do this together. It was exactly what I needed.

Mike is going fishing tomorrow with Dad-in-law, and I have a nice short day at work. I am happy to not feel so overworked for a change, it's been about 2 years since I have had this kind of downtime! Loving it! :)

110 More Jobs Cut

My hospital's CEO sent out an e-mail today to all of us announcing that more job cuts were being made.  So, the grand total in the last 5 months is at 330.  I got another e-mail that an entire unit is being shut down in the old tower.  This obviously doesn't affect me because I already put in my notice, but it is sad to hear.  I saw this coming, the downstaffing happening as frequently as it was just made it obvious to me that there were too many employees, and not enough patients.  I really do hope that the hospital bounces back, because I would love to go back there someday, and I believe it truly is one of the best hospitals in the area.  But it confirms, again, that I made the right choice to put in my notice.   I would be insane to hang on at a hospital that has laid off 330 people, in the hope that they may be able to offer me a position.  I'd much rather leave than be laid off.

Work has been hectic this week.  My boss has been on vacation, and I've had to make the judgement calls on some scheduling issues in her absence.  The hygienists at my office are paid on commission, so I hate to cancel their shifts because they have gotten way more territorial over the patients in their schedules, and they get paid for only the patients they see, and when that bill gets paid.  And they have no personal or vacation hours they can take because they are not salary employees.  But September is always a slow month.  All the kids are back in school, no one is on summer vacations......our schedule just falls apart, and you have to accept it.  But I feel bad making the call that "Sorry, but you are not working today", because I have always been on their side with how unfair the pay situation is for them.  I know my boss trusts my judgement, and I certainly did my best to make sure I tried to involve the hygienists as much as I could, but I still felt panic as I adjusted the schedule.  Luckily, the boss is back tomorrow, so I won't feel responsible for this anymore! :)  Plus, we pick back up in November once people remember that their benefits run out at the end of the year! 

I am frustrated with what to do with our 2nd bedroom.  I want it be functional for us, yet still work as a guest room.  I don't want it to be super girly, because I want Mike to feel like its a room for him to use, too, but I don't want to look like a man cave, either!!  My friend at work can describe a wall in her living room, and I can draw a design for her to use to decorate it like its nothing (and she is using it, she took my quick sketch home with her, lol), yet when I have a whole empty slate that should be easy to figure out.......I'm stumped.  All I know is that I really want a daybed in there that can be used as a comfy spot to read or work on a project, but also be used as a bed if we have guests stay over.  I hate how all the futons I have seen look (except for one that has been stuck in my head, but is expensive), and I still have no definitive vision for colors or anything.  This usually comes much easier to me. But I have also never had a spare bedroom, either.  I guess its not the worst problem a girl could have!

It'll come to me.  I know it! :)

Random Note:  I love T.I. and Tiny.  T.I. brings me back to my TN days, driving around with Krista listening to Rubberband Man.  No matter how far apart Krista and I are, or if  there is a gap between how long we've talked, we always pick right back up like we were never apart.  We have been friends since 3rd & 2nd grade (I'm a year older), and we share a unique birthday together.  I miss her.  Anyway....as ridiculous as rappers can be, and TI's not been free from arrests and charges.....he reminds me so much of my own Dad in his insistence on certain things, like how he thinks his daughters should dress or do their hair.  Old fashioned, and out of date, lol.  I love watching this show. :

Weekend Update

I have been in absolute love with the weather we have been having this weekend!! After all of the humid nastiness we have had this summer, a nice cool breeze is exactly what we needed! I am ready for more of this!!

We had our first bowling league game last night. And boy, I suck. The lanes kept switching and I accidentally bowled for someone on the other team. I felt awful, but luckily the girl was cool with it. I did get a strike and a spare, but I need to work on my game!! I am glad we did this, though!

I woke up feeling really good this morning. I slept like a baby, and I love waking up with a cuddly hubby, who happened to be in a goofy mood and kept cracking me up! We were really productive today, and I actually enjoyed cleaning up our place. I finally unpacked my shoes. I was tired of them being in a box, so I just set them in the floor of my closet. I still need to find a way to organize them. All in good time!! :)

I am excited that this is my last week of working 6 days! Saturday is my last shift. I am gonna have to celebrate it somehow! Maybe a mani/pedi, or date night with da hubs. Or both! :)

After talking to my mom-in-law, I think I am gonna try my hand at sewing. I can hand-stitch with no problem, but using a sewing machine is something I have only done when my mom set up the machine for me. I would like to make a table runner that matches our curtains in the kitchen. So in order to do that, I need a sewing machine. I am a bit intimidated, but I am a self-teacher, so I know I can do it! I have started looking up different blogs that have tips for beginners, and trying to see what kind of machine is best to start out with. My Harriet at work is an awesome seamstress, so I know she will be a great resource for me! It should be fun!

That's all for now, so off to sleep!! :)

Last PM Shift as a Tech!

I am scheduled tonight for my last PM shift.  As always, I am hoping I get downstaffed, but I know it probably won't happen.  I just hope I don't get floated to another floor.  I didn't care for that so much!  I am feeling more and more at peace with my decision.  I know my next night shift will be as a nurse, and that is totally ok with me! 

Otherwise, job search is the same....probably not gonna speak about it again until I actually get some calls back, or heaven forbid, an interview.  It's just too depressing, and I get asked about it enough as it is at work or from friends, and I'm just done talking about it until things start looking more promising.  Now that I will have more time on my hands, I'll up my efforts, but that's about it for now.  I am blessed to be employed with a good job, and until my RN position comes along, I will be content with that.

I had a debt collector cuss at me at work yesterday.  A former coworker who happens to have the same first name as I do had a debt collector call for her, and he thought I was "f$*#ing" with him when I said she doesn't work there anymore, because he thought I was her.  I was seriously shocked that he cussed at me.  I've heard debt collectors are fierce, but I didn't know they actually went to extremes like that and cuss at people.  Luckily, I put the man in his place very quickly....but I was still a bit upset about that.  I was always nervous that her debt collectors would confuse me for her when they called, but I was surprised it didn't happen until she was long gone. 

We have our first bowling league game this weekend.  I am excited about this!  I really hope we get t-shirts!  I know I suck at real-life bowling, but maybe I will learn a thing or two!  It would be pretty kick ass if I scored higher than all the boys for at least ONE game! :)  A girl can dream, right?

I'm sad I am working tonight and missing the MTV VMAs!  But that is what DVR is for, I guess!!  I knew this was worth the extra money every month.  Especially with Grey's starting soon, and not knowing what my schedule would be like once I get a RN job, it was a necessity.  lol  Now if I could only get used to hitting the pause button instead of mute!  lol, so many times have I come back to the TV to see the show is almost over, and I had just muted it rather than pausing it!  I just have to stay away from Twitter and FB while I'm at work tonight so nothing is spoiled!!

Really?

http://www.cnn.com/2012/09/05/travel/airline-down-syndrome/index.html

A family with a teenage son who has Down Syndrome was told they couldn't fly because he was a flight risk.  This strikes a nerve with me because I know how easily the same thing could be said about my brother.  My brother Zach has Down Syndrome.  He absolutely would be agitated in that kind of scenario.  It makes me sad that people with disabilities are judged by their appearance and other people's ignorance, even today when there is so much knowledge out there.  Down Syndrome is one of the most common conditions that babies are born with, yet people are still ignorant and treat them like they are ogres or something.

My brother was more popular than I was in high school.  He was in ROTC, helped with the football and basketball teams, all the popular seniors would give him high-fives in the hallways.  He loves to dance and sing to N*Sync, and is a huge goof.  He is slow to warm up to people, but once he does, you are stuck with him! lol  The little stink has always been a ladies' man, too.  He would go into the gas station when we were little and flirt with the female cashiers, and he'd walk out with a bag of candy.  Or would pinch the butt of my aunt's friend at her high school graduation, and got away with it because he was so cute.  He is just full of life.

Growing up, we had our share of dealing with people not understanding what was wrong with him, or staring.  My mom was always very direct with people staring at my brother, and fought so much for him to get the schooling he needed.  Neighbors would call the cops on him if he wandered over to their garage sale, not caring that was used to the neighbors before welcoming him over.  I didn't get to hang out with my friend because her sister said something stupid about my brother.  Teachers actually tried to get him kicked out of their classrooms because they didn't like that he has his own will and shuts down if people tried to pull or push on him.

I have always felt so strongly against the use of the "R" word because of my brother.  Most people just mean "you are being stupid", and probably truly don't understand how hurtful is to the people or families of those people who are disabled.  There was a boy in my high school graduating class who decided to say this in class one day, and I told him why don't I just start saying "You are being so Dirk" the next time I wanted to tell someone they were being stupid.  Sure, I was the new girl in a small town, calling one of the popular kids stupid, but I didn't care, and my teacher had my back. :)  I just feel like there are so many other words that I'm sure are far more creative and fun to use when trying to insult someone, why use one that is a medical condition that one has no control over??

Anyway, I don't know if the whole story is being portrayed in this news story, but it does seem odd that he was calm while they were being told they couldn't board.  If he was agitated and running around, he obviously had calmed down, so why not let him board at that point?  It does make it seem like they thought he might not be super quiet in 1st class and disturb the other 1st Classers  I really hope American Airlines comes around and issues an apology to this family, or witness come forward to offer a neutral version of what happened.  I just think its kind of ridiculous.  How many kids are running around, being loud because they are bored or had too much sugar?  They aren't considered flight risks, so why was this boy labeled as such?  Something does seem pretty off about that.

I'm Totally Cracking Up!

http://whatshouldwecallnursing.tumblr.com/

A couple of my nursing friends posted this on Pinterest, and I have just looked at every single entry!  It is so dead on!  I can't wait for more posts to pop up!  It is hilarious, and so true! lol

I Believe....

Today was a sign from God that I made the right decision. I got floated to another unit, and it was not the best day. I am sore, and exhausted. But my hubby made dinner, and brownies.....and I had a 2 hour nap, so I feel like my day has balanced out! :)

The Deed is Done

I put in my notice yesterday at the hospital.  I've been going back and forth on this for quite some time.  I didn't want to leave and take my foot out of the door for a possible position at the hospital, but then the reality of the situation at the hospital has forced me to realize that this is likely to never happen.  I am sad to leave the unit, and will miss my co--workers who have been so supportive as I finished my program, but its time for me to move on.  My last day is on the 15th.

I also got my CPR certification renewed.  I am still sore from practicing on the manikins.  I had a great partner, and we got done early.  I also was pleased to find out that we got paid for our time in the class.  I was about to put down at least $50 for the class, so to get paid to take it was pretty sweet.  I always feel nervous about taking the CPR class, like I will be awful at it...but then I rock it. :)

I will have every other Saturday off after my last day at the hospital, and this has allowed Mike and I to have a few rare 2-day weekends together.  We both have always worked every Saturday, so now that I have every Saturday off, he could use vacation/personal/summer days to give us some weekends off together.  We have to take advantage of this while we can!

I am happy that life is slowing down a bit.  It's the little things that I'm looking forward to, like going for walks, carving pumpkins for Halloween, doing more with my baking, Christmas shopping and decorating.  I am excited to wear my new sweaters, and to see the snow start to fall.  I am so happy to not have to be so pre-occupied on exams, and clinical evaluations, and I can actually enjoy life.  Sure, one I get a nursing position, life will be stressful as I navigate my first year as a nurse, but it will be a good stress. 

I am still working on my personal goals, like working on my sparkle, trying to get better about being on time.  I am also now convinced beyond any shadow of a doubt that there was never any chance of fixing certain situations.  I have been struggling with this awful feeling of being labeled as the bad guy.  I am not a perfect person, but I had nothing but good intentions.  I cared about fixing the relationship, and I still do, but now I know I can't possibly reason with someone who is still this upset about their sides being uneven 6 months later.  What a petty reason to not want to resolve things, and let healing happen.  Again, I am not a perfect person, but at least I come from a place of wanting to fix things.  So, I am letting go.  I have struggled with wanting to speak up again, and try to get the talking going again, but then I remember how much that backfired the last 2 times, and I'm just not doing it.  Even though I truly fear that it will never happen if I wait for the other parties to speak up for a change, and the effect on our family is heartbreaking, I know that if the other side doesn't want to fix it, any attempts on my part just add fuel to the fire.  I am convinced now that I am not the one keeping things from getting better, and will not let myself feel like the bad guy anymore.  I will never stop hoping that someday we can fix things, but the longer this goes on, the less likely I feel it will ever happen.  And that is so sad to say, for so many reason.  Truly sad.

But, in short, I am over it.

Mike and I are excited for our 2 1/2 day weekend!  We plan on relaxing and grilling out on Monday.  We went out with friends last night to see the Batman movie at the iPic theatre, and oh my goodness, was I impressed!!!  Wine bar, full bar, and cheesecake at the concession stand, reclining seats with your own pillow and blanket....It was awesome!!  The tickets are expensive, so its not something I would want to do for every movie we see, but I definitely want to go again!!  And Mike and I are probably joining a couples bowling league with some friends, so that is exciting!  Too bad it isn't Wii bowling, because I would be a rock star! lol

Last Day #1 of 3 at the hospital tomorrow!

Ah ha! There it is!

So the predicted rejection letter from that ICU position came today. I was pleased that it was different from the other letters I've gotten. I just gotta keep trucking along!!

I have decided that I am going to put in my notice at the hospital. I am exhausted from working so much, and it's taking away from my job search. I am sad about leaving, but I have to give up on this idea that there will be a position for me there. Maybe down the road I can come back when I have more experience under my belt, but for now, I gotta let it go.

The dinner we made for our friends went really well. We haven't been able to invite people over for the last 2 years because I was just too busy, and it was just a bit awkward to arrange. I would have friends over for study sessions, but that was it. So it was nice to be able to get back to having people over and entertaining again!

I am at a standstill with decorating. I am wanting to up floating shelves everywhere, and I need to slow it down before I put a bunch of holes in the walls. The curtains are up, the prints I bought are framed and on the wall, and it's definitely feeling more like home more and more every day. Mom-in-law helped us a couple of weeks ago get this awesome utility table carted to our place from Hobby Lobby. It definitely was the piece I was wanting for the kitchen.

I am still struggling with what to do with the dining table. More and more, I fall back in love with the one we have. We got it when we first moved in together, and I loved. There is a big chip on the top, and scratches. I think I may get a white tablecloth and dress it up somehow. I just can't find any tables that I like enough, or within the amount I'm willing to pay. But I'm a bit tired of looking at this stuff right now. I am pleased with the progress of our place, but I still have a ways to go!!

Oh, and I have found a new wine I love... Moscato!! I finished my first bottle of that tonight!! :) I am definitely looking forward to building up a good stockpile of wine! :)

Weekend Update

I am still dealing with this sinus cold.  It truly isn't as bad as it was, but I would say yesterday was the first day I felt like my normal self.  I was starting to think I may have had a sinus infection because my upper teeth were getting sensitive every time I sneezed.  Weird, yet true.

Its the weekend for me, now.  Today was pretty quiet at work today, other than some serious shuffling of our schedule.  People who schedule their entire family of 6 for a Saturday, and then doesn't remember, and claimed to not have gotten the reminder call we gave, and as a result doesn't show up and can't keep any of the 6 back to back appointments shouldn't be allowed to have that large of a family.  Nor should they schedule with our office again, just my 2 cents.

Mike and I are entertaining some friends tonight, so I got a lot I have to do to prepare for dinner.  But I'm taking a moment to relax before I jump in. 

I did a little happy dance at my desk yesterday because I didn't get an auto-reject on a position I applied for.  It absolutely means nothing, the e-mail was just a "we will be in contact in a few days with those who meet our needs blah blah blah" sort of e-mail.  But that felt so much better than the insta-reject of "don't even bother, honey".  I'd love to even get a phone call at this point, even if it doesn't lead to a job offer.  I just want someone to look at my application and resume, and think "Hmm, she could be a possibility" rather than it going straight into the trash can because I'm a new graduate.

My brother-in-law is a firefighter/paramedic, and he gave me a tip about a possible opening at a hospital around his work.  I swear, I turn around and there is a whole new hospital group that I've never even heard of.  On one hand, this is good, because it means more positions I can apply for, yet on the other hand, its one more hospital to reject me.  I'm trying really hard to remember that I knew this wasn't going to be easy, and to be grateful that I am over-employed right now, rather than unemployed.  But it still sucks to feel like you aren't good enough, even though you just went through hell to finish nursing school and excelled at it. 

So, the hospital my BIL told me about is on my list to tackle tomorrow.  Plus some projects I want to do around here.  Like our blinds, upon closer inspection, they are dirty and need a serious wiping down.  I did our kitchen blinds, and it took me an hour to get them clean.  They are white, so you would think the dirt would be more obvious, but its not unless you get up close to them.  I am convinced the people who lived here before up were direct descendants of Pigpen from Charlie Brown.  Once I'm done with the blinds, I will have scrubbed basically everything there is to scrub in this apartment besides the walls.  At least the walls were clean because they were painted.....everything else was given the Caviwipe treatment, and then the Clorox bleach wipe treatment.  My new found germa-phobe-ness really came out when we moved in.  I didn't mind cleaning the apartment at all until I saw the shower door in Mike's bathroom, and threw a fit. lol

But even that situation was no match against me armed with gloves, steel wool pads, and tilex.  Good as new!  ;)

Must begin preparing for tonight! :)  By preparing, I mean, pour myself a glass of white zin or moscato. lol

Well How About That!

No auto-reject on the ICU position.  Doesn't mean that the reject isn't coming, but it does feel good to not be auto-rejected so quickly.  I just don't want to feel like I'm putting in all these applications, and just wasting my time.  It is so frustrating.

I'm also feeling a lot better, still blowing my nose and sneezing, but I was able to put in full day at work. 

Tonight Mike is at class.  Which I'm a little sad about for a couple of reasons.  Its one less night I get to have dinner with him this week, and I'm missing being in class.  He started his last class of the program he's doing at school this week, and my friends who are either starting or repeating their 4th semester went back this week as well, and I don't know what to do with myself.  I have been obsessively checking Harper's website to see if some of the classes I'd like to take online had any spots open up, and so far no luck.  I know this is crazy, but I've been in class for the last 3 years, its not natural to me yet to not be in class.

It would be nice to be able to have a nursing position before I begin anymore classes so that I can plan accordingly, but I really am feeling like I want to go back in the Spring.  I need to take nutrition, chemistry, and MAYBE statistics.  I can take everything but the chemistry online, and that is what I would like to do. I need to get these classes under my belt in order to get started on my BSN at NIU.  I don't want to be hindered later down the road because I only have an Associate degree.

There is so much on my brain lately about everything, my two jobs, whether to drop the part time one, looking for a new job to replace both, taking classes to advance my degree.  I don't know how there is room for much else sometimes, but yet there is!

Sick :(

I feel awful.  It started yesterday with a bunch of sneezing, and an awful headache when I got home last night from work.  And I woke up today congested, and just feeling like poo.  I didn't think I was that bad where I couldn't work, but that is where I turned out to be wrong.  I tried to hang on as long as I could, but I called it quits at about 1:30 and came home and slept.  I still feel icky, but I'm hoping I'll feel better in the morning.  My sweet husband brought me some roses to try to perk my day up a bit.

It was definitely sweet of him, and I love them!

I've been trying to just relax tonight, but of course, I got a bit jealous when I saw yet another classmate who has a job before I do.  I wish it didn't sting so much, and I feel terrible that all I can think of how much I wish it was me.  You can't help but compare yourself to your classmates in this type of over-saturated job market.  It makes me wish I hadn't been so ambitious with trying to be in the ICU for my capstone, because I could have had a better chance at establishing a job offer had I been on a med-surg floor.

A position for the ICU where I had my Capstone has been taunting me for months.  I would love to begin my career in the ICU, but I know my lack of experience is probably not want they need.  When you have people who are on the brink of dying, do you really want some green, new-graduate nurse?  Or an experienced nurse?  Plus, there was an issue during my Capstone that left me feeling like the assistant director didn't like me very much.

So, this has kept me from being able to bring myself to put in my application.  The thought of sitting down for an interview with this woman is terrifying.  The thought of my application spreading laughter throughout the whole ICU department is depressing.  But tonight, I figured what's another rejection letter in my mailbox tomorrow morning?  It isn't like I haven't seen enough of those already, and like it even matters anymore.  And heck, maybe the fact that I was able to hold in my tears of fear around this woman will count for something.  But either way, at least I can say I put my name in the hat, regardless of what they decide to do with it.

I did put in a couple of other applications that surprisingly didn't ask me that infamous question on the last page "Do you have X years of experience as an RN?".  So maybe I won't be auto-rejected.

I'm starting to think that if I don't have a position by the new year, I will start looking at other types of positions at places I don't even want to say the word, but you know what I'm meaning.  I just don't want to accept a position, and then another one come along that is more of what I was looking for, and then feel like an ass for jumping jobs.  But I just can't go forever without getting a job, or else my degree is useless.

Time to get some sleep, and hope to sweet 8lbs 7oz. baby Jesus, in a tuxedo shirt, that I'm feeling better.

Saaaa-Weeeeeet!!

Remember that CPR class that would have been for free at my hospital had there been openings?  Well by-gosh if they didn't open up more seats!   Problem solved!!  Now I'm glad that it was storming and my hubby was sick the other day, cuz that saved me $$$$!

Ghetto Hair No Mo!

Popped a Xanax before, but I made it to my hair appointment. Loved my girl J! She went through all my pictures with me, and worked with me on how to proceed. I always feel bad because I have a huge head, and it takes them forever to foil my hair, but it all worked out!!

I really have to stop letting so much time pass between colorings, and trust it will be ok!! But I love my hair!!

Gotta Wake Up Slow...

I have been overly tired this weekend. I worked at the hospital on Saturday, and its a complete energy drain for me. I'm fine during my shift because I'm in "GO" mode, but as soon as I clock out, I'm zapped. I truly was having a hard time not falling asleep at red lights yesterday on my way home. I know that is bad, but that is just how exhausted I was. I was still exhausted even after I took a shower when I got home. That normally will wake me up. But nope, I was basically awake long enough to eat dinner and spend a little time watching some TV with Mike, and then I was out.

I am getting my hair colored today. My friend at work convinced me to just do it, and so I made my appointment on Friday. Because of how exhausted I've been (a.k.a. sleeping as soon as I get home) and with projects I've been working to decorate, I haven't had my normal time to obsess about what I am going to do. My regular colorist is not coming back after all, her leave turned into she quit. :( The last girl I had was ok, she did a good job on the color, but when she was blowing my hair out, I wanted to just take the brush from her and tell her to leave me alone. How do you do this everday, and suck at blow drying someone's hair? Anyway, so I scheduled with a new girl who is the next level up experience-wise (i.e. newbie, not-so-newbie, decent, pro, expert, master lol). So that made me feel a little better about going to someone new.

So, the hair, I have the desire to do something different, but like I said before, I have a hard time committing. So, maybe I'll go all wild-card and let the girl do what she wants. lol

I really haven't had the time to do anymore job searching, and that was just way too depressing last Sunday. I'm still waiting to hear back from my friend's mom-in-law about what changes I can make to my resume, so I guess I'm waiting on that. Census on my floor is so low, we even had some lap appendectomies, and cholecystectomies.....we don't usually see those. I felt bad when my coworkers were talking about being out of paid time off hours because they have been downstaffed so much. I don't have any sick or personal hours to take, and luckily, it doesn't affect me too much when I get flexed (well, I do get SUPER-HAPPY lol). I've accepted that I won't be getting a position there, but now I feel bad that there may be more lay-offs. How awful is that for those that have been there for so long, and now may be forced to look elsewhere? There's not a lot of jobs out for there for patient care techs or unit secretaries, so I feel bad for them. But hopefully now that the main surgeon is supposed to be coming back next week, census will pick back up and the downstaffing will slow down.

Da hubs made some chocolate muffins for us, so the plan for the morning is to enjoy those with some coffee, and freak out on the inside about my hair, lol.