The other morning, the first time I did when I woke up was do a search for my name on the IL website for professional regulation, A.K.A., stalking central for nurses, doctors, dentists, etc. You can find out if your dentist or nurse has ever been disciplined or if they haven't paid their students loans, etc. Creepy, yes, to have your personal troubles out in the open like that, but as a professional who is having the trust of the public placed with them, its necessary. ANYWAY, my name is officially listed on this site with my license number. I have a license to medicate and stab people with needles! lol
It made me feel really good that I'm finally officially a nurse, and that I'm recognized by the state as such. Now I just need to find that first job as a nurse to really FEEL like a nurse. I'm still scared of the job search thing. I'm good at my job at the dental office, its paying the bills, and its been my work home for the last 5 years. I feel safe here, even with the drama that comes along with it. My boss has always had my back, and has truly been so amazingly supportive of me going to school, and working with me and my schedule. However, it still doesn't supply the challenge and rewarding feeling I get with nursing, and quite frankly, its time to enjoy the bigger paychecks that I've worked so hard for the last 3 years.
I'm just nervous to jump into a new job where I will feel anything but safe. I will feel stupid, like I know nothing, I know I will make mistakes, and its terrifying to have all the responsibility for someone's care in my hands. So, I'm sure there are people who would say I'm stupid, but I'm in no super rush to find a new job. I don't have this sense of urgency that I will die if I don't find a new job ASAP. However, now that my schedule is less insane (although its still 6 days a week for the time being), I will have more time and more energy to try to tackle the job search.
Speaking of 6 days a week, I'm growing very tired of working the two jobs. I kept on at the hospital because I thought it would turn into a nursing position. However, the financial situation of the hospital made that not a reality, and I am losing the desire to stay on anymore. I wanted to secure full time hours at the dental office in preparation for leaving the hospital, so that means 5 days there each week, and 2 days every 2 weeks at the hospital because that is my minimum commitment. If I leave the hospital, I will finally get every other Saturday off since I was able to start alternating them at the dental office after 5 years of working EVERY Saturday.
On the other hand, it is nice to have the extra money even though I'm working a lot. *shrug*
So, in conclusion, I am completely indecisive about pretty much all the changes going on in my life right now, lol.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
Home Sweet Home!
So we are officially moved in! It's been a busy week, but it's been completely worth it. The movers we hired really did a great job, and they were fast. We tried to move as much ourselves to save on our costs, because we really just wanted to pay to have them move the big stuff like our furniture, and the super heavy boxes full of nursing school textbooks. They wrapped everything up and even wrapped our mattress and box spring in plastic wrap so they wouldn't get dirty. They even finished under our minimum hour commitment.
It was weird for us because Mike's parents have always been there for our moves together. They spent the weekend downtown to celebrate mom-in-law's birthday, so they weren't around our last couple of days at the house. They had Mike's grandpa come stay over to take care of the animals, and to make sure everything went ok with the move. It was nice to spend the time with him. Anyway, as we finished cleaning up the house, we wrote a thank you card out to his parents for opening their home to us, and I started crying. No, it never was my ideal to live with my in-laws, but they cared about me enough to help me achieve this dream to let us live in their home. There truly aren't enough words to describe the gratitude I feel, and how much it meant to me. I never had this kind of support from my own family, and I won't ever be able to repay them for doing this for me.
It was weird to move out with them not being there, but it also felt good to do this move completely on our own. We didn't have to inconvenience anyone, cuz it was really hard moving stuff up on this 3rd floor. We are really loving feeling like we are a married couple living in our own home, rather than 2 kids living under their parents house. We have an entire pantry stocked up to ourselves, a fridge for our own that isn't in the basement. We can do our laundry whenever we want, and can cook whenever we want. There are no dogs barking, or cats licking our stuff and getting cat hair all over everything. Being back on our own makes us truly realize how much we sacrificed, and how constricted we have been.
Our apartment is a bit naked in terms of decorating, and that's because I am completely and utterly undecided of how I want to decorate, so I'm putting it off til I am in a more decisive mood. I'm not doing as much as hanging a single painting until I am closer to deciding what I would like.
OH! And we have been without internet and cable all week! There was a cut in the line to our apartment, so the guy who came out last Wednesday was unable to do our install. Then the real headache began of trying to get in touch with the people who handle the problems with lines for apartments, which is impossible. Luckily, the same guy came out again today, and our neighbors were so wonderful and allowed him into their homes so he could check the wires since the lines run on the inside instead of outside. I am seriously in love with our neighbors already for helping us out with this. So we are connected!
In other news, we went to the Drake for high tea to surprise mom-in-law for her birthday. We drove downtown with Grandpa and Joan, and they are fluffng hilarious! They had me cracking up the entire time. And the tea at the Drake was amazing. I definitely want to go back and do that again! The tea, the sandwiches, the scenery...........it was all great. They brought her a birthday dessert, and the harpist started playing the birthday song, and this was my favorite part! I think when we make our annual visit downtown to see the window displays at Macy's, this is going to be added to our yearly tradition.
So we are pretty content, and feel so comfortable in our new home! There of course could be less work, and more play time, but we'll take what we can get!
It was weird for us because Mike's parents have always been there for our moves together. They spent the weekend downtown to celebrate mom-in-law's birthday, so they weren't around our last couple of days at the house. They had Mike's grandpa come stay over to take care of the animals, and to make sure everything went ok with the move. It was nice to spend the time with him. Anyway, as we finished cleaning up the house, we wrote a thank you card out to his parents for opening their home to us, and I started crying. No, it never was my ideal to live with my in-laws, but they cared about me enough to help me achieve this dream to let us live in their home. There truly aren't enough words to describe the gratitude I feel, and how much it meant to me. I never had this kind of support from my own family, and I won't ever be able to repay them for doing this for me.
It was weird to move out with them not being there, but it also felt good to do this move completely on our own. We didn't have to inconvenience anyone, cuz it was really hard moving stuff up on this 3rd floor. We are really loving feeling like we are a married couple living in our own home, rather than 2 kids living under their parents house. We have an entire pantry stocked up to ourselves, a fridge for our own that isn't in the basement. We can do our laundry whenever we want, and can cook whenever we want. There are no dogs barking, or cats licking our stuff and getting cat hair all over everything. Being back on our own makes us truly realize how much we sacrificed, and how constricted we have been.
Our apartment is a bit naked in terms of decorating, and that's because I am completely and utterly undecided of how I want to decorate, so I'm putting it off til I am in a more decisive mood. I'm not doing as much as hanging a single painting until I am closer to deciding what I would like.
OH! And we have been without internet and cable all week! There was a cut in the line to our apartment, so the guy who came out last Wednesday was unable to do our install. Then the real headache began of trying to get in touch with the people who handle the problems with lines for apartments, which is impossible. Luckily, the same guy came out again today, and our neighbors were so wonderful and allowed him into their homes so he could check the wires since the lines run on the inside instead of outside. I am seriously in love with our neighbors already for helping us out with this. So we are connected!
In other news, we went to the Drake for high tea to surprise mom-in-law for her birthday. We drove downtown with Grandpa and Joan, and they are fluffng hilarious! They had me cracking up the entire time. And the tea at the Drake was amazing. I definitely want to go back and do that again! The tea, the sandwiches, the scenery...........it was all great. They brought her a birthday dessert, and the harpist started playing the birthday song, and this was my favorite part! I think when we make our annual visit downtown to see the window displays at Macy's, this is going to be added to our yearly tradition.
So we are pretty content, and feel so comfortable in our new home! There of course could be less work, and more play time, but we'll take what we can get!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
So busy, yet it feels so good!!
We got our keys in Tuesday night. The apartment for the most part was perfect, but there were some definite fixes needed. Our leasing agent has been amazing throughout the whole process, but there was just no way for her to foresee any of it. We have gotten to know the maintenance manager very well, and he really is doing an amazing job of taking care of us! I feel so bad when I see him bend over because part of the reason the problems in our apartment were there in the first place is because he was out of commission due to having a total knee replacement. Working on an ortho floor, and seeing his fresh scar on his knee, I felt so bad as he bent down to fix our laundry closet door. But, I definitely feel like everything will be fixed, and thankfully it's nothing that can't be fixed. I think the nurse in me is making me flip about things most people probably wouldn't care about. Luckily, the maintenance manager's wife is a nurse, too, so he totally understood my feelings.
We have been moving stuff over little by little, and cleaned all of our dishes and pots and pans that have been in hiding for the last 2 years. Our kitchen is all ready pretty much, and it's really looking great! Our dining table is too small for the space, and has apparently gotten some abuse over the last two years, so we are going to have to replace it once I can decide what I want. But it will do for now, and I can get a table cloth to cover the damage.
We have been working like such a team to get things ready, and it feels good that in a situation that is stressful and can easily ignite arguments, we've just been trucking along together as the great team that we are. I couldn't have a better husband than I have in Mike.
So we have some random stuff and all the daily stuff we use that we can't pack until tomorrow. We are going to try to move as much as we can into the garage so that the movers have an easy time here at the house, since they will have quite the climb at our place since we are on the 3rd floor. I really hope we can get done under the 2.5 hour minimum.
We are sore, nauseous from all the take out we've been eating out of convenience (gag), but we are so excited that this is really happening! And I keep finding myself forgetting about all of the storage space we have, like reminding myself we have a 2nd bedroom with a closet in it that is completely ours!! :) It's a nice problem to have, lol.
We took the mom-in-law out for her birthday yesterday since dad-in-law was working late, and then took her over to see the new place. It felt good to have her reassure us about the things that need to be addressed, it helped us get back into excitement mode.
We have already met some of our neighbors, and so far they seem to be close to our age, and friendly. However, we have heard absolutely no noise from inside our apartment. Which is a huge relief. We heard everything in our last apartment, and I'm so happy to see that we don't seem to have to worry about that here. I'm sure getting an apartment on the top floor helps, which makes the climb up the stairs not seem so bad. And the view from our windows is awesome. And our patio has lots of privacy, and the way the buildings are built, our neighbors can't look over and wave at us, lol.
Work in the morning, and then the final stretch of getting ready begins!! I just feel so blessed for the great things in our life!!
We have been moving stuff over little by little, and cleaned all of our dishes and pots and pans that have been in hiding for the last 2 years. Our kitchen is all ready pretty much, and it's really looking great! Our dining table is too small for the space, and has apparently gotten some abuse over the last two years, so we are going to have to replace it once I can decide what I want. But it will do for now, and I can get a table cloth to cover the damage.
We have been working like such a team to get things ready, and it feels good that in a situation that is stressful and can easily ignite arguments, we've just been trucking along together as the great team that we are. I couldn't have a better husband than I have in Mike.
So we have some random stuff and all the daily stuff we use that we can't pack until tomorrow. We are going to try to move as much as we can into the garage so that the movers have an easy time here at the house, since they will have quite the climb at our place since we are on the 3rd floor. I really hope we can get done under the 2.5 hour minimum.
We are sore, nauseous from all the take out we've been eating out of convenience (gag), but we are so excited that this is really happening! And I keep finding myself forgetting about all of the storage space we have, like reminding myself we have a 2nd bedroom with a closet in it that is completely ours!! :) It's a nice problem to have, lol.
We took the mom-in-law out for her birthday yesterday since dad-in-law was working late, and then took her over to see the new place. It felt good to have her reassure us about the things that need to be addressed, it helped us get back into excitement mode.
We have already met some of our neighbors, and so far they seem to be close to our age, and friendly. However, we have heard absolutely no noise from inside our apartment. Which is a huge relief. We heard everything in our last apartment, and I'm so happy to see that we don't seem to have to worry about that here. I'm sure getting an apartment on the top floor helps, which makes the climb up the stairs not seem so bad. And the view from our windows is awesome. And our patio has lots of privacy, and the way the buildings are built, our neighbors can't look over and wave at us, lol.
Work in the morning, and then the final stretch of getting ready begins!! I just feel so blessed for the great things in our life!!
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Not Much Longer Now
In 3 days, we get our keys to our new home, and in 7 days, we have movers coming to officially move us in. Our cashier's check for our deposit and first month's rent is printed, our utilities are set up, and we have a date with Comcast to get our cable and internet set up. We started packing on Thursday night, and I'd say we are about halfway done. Luckily, a lot of our stuff was still packed up from when we moved in two years ago, and I got a little teary this morning seeing it all down from the attic and from their hiding places in the basement.
I had sooooo much anxiety during school about failing a class, because it meant it would delay our moving out. Especially after some family drama that blew up right before my critical care final, which resulted in zero studying being able to happen. I was scared to death that I'd be here another semester. Luckily, someone up above was looking out for me, and things have worked out just fine. I have graduated, I have passed my NCLEX, and now I am just waiting for my license to arrive. I have been able to get back my hours at work (although its been a bit too much!!), which was another worry I had, so that we can afford to move into our own home without having to wait til I find a full-time nursing job.
So, the crying I did when I got the good pop-up after my NCLEX was just releasing all of this stress that has been on my back for the last two years. I wasn't just stressed because school was hard, I was stressed because if I failed, it had consequences for Mike and I. It would have been money wasted, and embarrassment and shame on my part. I felt guilty for doing anything besides studying, and I felt bad for having to say no to invites because of a test, not knowing my clinical schedule, or just simply not being given enough time to plan ahead for it. I realize no one besides Mike really got this, but I wish so much that others would have been understanding of the burden placed on me, rather than thinking I was being difficult.
I am still completely undecided how I want to decorate our new place, and I figure I will just take my time with it picking things out, rather than trying to do it all at one time. I am just ecstatic that this is finally happening! We went to bed one night this week just listing out the things that we were looking forward to, things that we weren't going to miss. We are looking forward to being able to stretch out finally, instead of being cramped up like we have been for so long, and it just being the two of us again.
I am just beyond happy that this is happening, and that we will have a home that we love. We don't want to move again for at least two years. Since I have moved so much since my junior year of high school, its really important to me to feel settled in and feel like a place is home. Our last apartment was the longest I had been in one place since 2001, and that was 3 years in that apartment. I have hated our stuff being boxed up, and fully intend on trying to have everything unpacked that same day, since we have a very important event the next day that we refused to not go to even though we are moving.
So, my break is up, I am going to try to finish packing everything that is packable at this point today, so that we can relax a little bit before the busy-ness begins!!! Truly feeling blessed!!
I had sooooo much anxiety during school about failing a class, because it meant it would delay our moving out. Especially after some family drama that blew up right before my critical care final, which resulted in zero studying being able to happen. I was scared to death that I'd be here another semester. Luckily, someone up above was looking out for me, and things have worked out just fine. I have graduated, I have passed my NCLEX, and now I am just waiting for my license to arrive. I have been able to get back my hours at work (although its been a bit too much!!), which was another worry I had, so that we can afford to move into our own home without having to wait til I find a full-time nursing job.
So, the crying I did when I got the good pop-up after my NCLEX was just releasing all of this stress that has been on my back for the last two years. I wasn't just stressed because school was hard, I was stressed because if I failed, it had consequences for Mike and I. It would have been money wasted, and embarrassment and shame on my part. I felt guilty for doing anything besides studying, and I felt bad for having to say no to invites because of a test, not knowing my clinical schedule, or just simply not being given enough time to plan ahead for it. I realize no one besides Mike really got this, but I wish so much that others would have been understanding of the burden placed on me, rather than thinking I was being difficult.
I am still completely undecided how I want to decorate our new place, and I figure I will just take my time with it picking things out, rather than trying to do it all at one time. I am just ecstatic that this is finally happening! We went to bed one night this week just listing out the things that we were looking forward to, things that we weren't going to miss. We are looking forward to being able to stretch out finally, instead of being cramped up like we have been for so long, and it just being the two of us again.
I am just beyond happy that this is happening, and that we will have a home that we love. We don't want to move again for at least two years. Since I have moved so much since my junior year of high school, its really important to me to feel settled in and feel like a place is home. Our last apartment was the longest I had been in one place since 2001, and that was 3 years in that apartment. I have hated our stuff being boxed up, and fully intend on trying to have everything unpacked that same day, since we have a very important event the next day that we refused to not go to even though we are moving.
So, my break is up, I am going to try to finish packing everything that is packable at this point today, so that we can relax a little bit before the busy-ness begins!!! Truly feeling blessed!!
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