Christmas Break!

I am 2 weeks in so far of my Christmas break, and its been busy. But luckily things are winding down, so I can really start to relax. I think today is truly my first day that I have nothing that I MUST do. There are things I would like to do, but nothing that is super important either. Christmas was good, can't really complain at all.

I have found myself missing school, missing practicing skills, missing clinicals and giving injections, and looking up meds. I know this is insanity because I should be enjoying my break, but I enjoy doing those things.....so I miss it. I know my tune will easily change once schools starts back up, lol.

I want to find some new, easy recipes for Mike and I to make for dinner. I know he has to be getting tired of the same things every week. So, I want to switch things up for him. I have also been trying to make dinner more to make up for how much he has been doing for me this past semester. He has been amazing to me with helping me out, and picking up my slack. I am blessed, that's all I can say. So...back to recipes, I just want to have new stuff that's easy, and that I like, so that I won't veto things, lol.

For New Years, we are just going to chill out at home. I wanna order Lou's, and have alcohol on hand to make some yummy drinks for myself and Mike and play Just Dance. Then we have all weekend to spend with each other. I can't wait. :)

1st Semester is Done!!!!

You have no idea how good it feels to say I am done with my first semester of nursing school!! Love it!! So just to recap, B in Nursing Concepts, A in Patho, A in Nursing Roles, B in Clinicals, and a B in Micro. And the B in Micro could possibly get bumped up to an A, showing as I am 2.5 points away from an A. I mean, There are 875 points for the class, which means you need 805 points to get an A, I was at 802.5! She said our grades on webgrade aren't final, and that she is "very fair" with grades, so I am hoping that means this chica scored an A in Micro. But, I'll have to wait and see what she posts as my final grade, which probably won't be up til next week. :(

So, as soon as I was done my Micro final yesterday and getting ripped off at the bookstore ($60 bucks for a book that was $200 that was just introduced this semester?? really?? Grr!!), Mike and I went downtown for our yearly Downtown Christmas Extravaganza!! :) We basically just go down to see the lights, the Macy's window display, and walk around a lil bit. The Macy's window display was flat this year, they are usually amazing, but this year, they really weren't that spectacular. It was disappointing, but we still had a great time.

So....today is when I get my life back in order. I am about to go get some coffee, and then I am wrapping presents, and then cleaning up around here. Mike has been a saint about not complaining about my clutter. It's been driving me crazy, too, but I just haven't had the time to take care of it the way I need to. So, I hope to get this place looking nice again, and then I am getting a mani/pedi as my end of the semester treat. I am so happy that I am done with this semester!!!!

What is that? Is that a B??

Yes, I have secured the highly treasured, and nearly impossible to obtain clinical score that is a lovely B. Our clinicals are not pass/fail. We were told in the beginning whent they showed us these lovely little forms, that we should not expect to get anything above a C for clinicals. Especially because this is our first semester, we're not able to do very many things at all independently. So.... I figured it was mathematically impossible for me to anything above a C. However, my instructor felt differently. I even got some 4s thrown into my mix of scores. I am super-dee-duper excited about this.

Oh, and I have my sweet lil A secured for Patho, and now I am just waiting on my 111 scores. There is a small chance I can get an A in that class, but I am not gonna hold my breath. I will probably get a B in that class, which is just fine with me! Bs are my new A, remember?

So I just have to finish up my micro final tomorrow, which is open-book, so I don't even have to worry about it. I am not going to get an A which getting a damned perfect score on the final. And I just don't feel like stressing myself out over her class, especially because she will have something wrong and won't change it no matter how much you argue it (or no matter how right you are). So, I can get 30 points and keep my B, which I am good with.

Thank goodness this semester is over with!! I have rocked it out, and am so happy with myself.

Tomorrow after my Micro final, Mike and I are going downtown to see the christmas lights and window displays. We have this every year since we got married, and I really look forward to the Macy's window display on State street. It's not just one window display, its like atleast 8, lol. It's amazing and very well done! But really, I am looking forward to just spending the time with him, and not stressing about the next test!

Oh, nursing school....you cause me so much stress, yet make me so happy at the same time!!

A week from now.....

I will be able to say I have successfully completed my 1st semester of nursing school. It is such a good feeling, I'm not gonna lie!

I have been a horrible, moody, bitchy girl for the last 5-6 days because I was so stressed out. I had a patho and micro test on the same day, and then hospital simulation testing on Tuesday. Plus working, and all the normal things you have to do in life, like eating, bathing, sleeping. But I have gotten through it.

I got an A on my Patho test, a B on my Micro test, and most importantly I passed my simulation test! So honestly.....Finals feel like a cake walk to me. Normally, finals are the most stressful part of semester for most people, but after this semester, I am doing well enough that I don't need to kill myself. Even if I end up dropping a grade in each class after the final, I am still passing and that is all that matters.

So, I am feeling like a ton of weight is off of my shoulders for the time being, and I'm back to feeling like I can relax again and not feel guilty. For instance, I am going out to see a movie tonight with my hubby instead of studying, and it feels really good, and I don't feel guilty about it at all.

I do plan on doing my usual Thursday date with myself at Panera tomorrow all day and get some studying done, but I am just not going to kill myself with stress this next week.

But, I'm feeling good. Just gotta get through my last day of clinicals, 3 finals, a final clinical evaluation, and this chica is done!!!

So much to do, so little time!!

So, let's see......I have 4 days of classes, 2 clinical days, 1 hospital simulation skills test, 1 holistic, and a TON of reading and studying and concept maps and clinical evaluations to do for my 3 finals!

But then I will be done with my first semester of Nursing school!! The sound of that is just not registering. I just STARTED nursing school, how is a quarter of it already over? It's just craziness. I feel stress that comes from the end of the semester madness, but it all will get done one way or another, I know.

I am really looking forward to a month of no studying, actually having this thing called "free time" that everyone else seems to have. I am working a couple more days a week at work, but it will be much easier to tolerate than 4 hour lectures!!

Today has been exhausting. We had a test in our Nursing roles call, then 3 hours of lecture. Then 4 hours of skill carnival. Skill carnival is where there are 10 stations set up, and groups of 3 rotate and do each skill that is on our list that we may be tested on next week. It was like a mock simulation....which is helpful. It also reminded me that I rock at head-to-toe assessments so far, :). There are still things I need to practice, but I do feel better about my skill test next week. I also have a nearly 4 hour gap between lecture and my skills test where I can go home and do some last minute practicing before my test.

So anyway, I just gotta do some hustling to finish up the loose ends of this semester, Rock my skills test, and finish out this clinical rotation....and then I can relax.

And when that comes, I plan on getting a pedicure and manicure......maybe even a facial. I need pampering, lol.

5 Clinicals days down, 2 more to go!!

I've had a pretty rough week where everything just seems to be going wrong. Huge misunderstanding and hurt feelings with friends, missed a patho review, my stupid Micro teacher hates me, so I just figured what could get worse?

Well, luckily, there have been some positive notes this week. We had hospital simulation where we had to perform a subcutaneous injection in our lil built in practice hospital. It is completely nerve wrecking because you have an instructor watching you looking for things that you screwed up on. Luckily, even though I was nervous as heck and was shaking like an adult toy, I managed to do pretty well with no screw ups. =)

I got a B on my nursing roles exam, and clinical today went pretty well. We had a substitute instructor because our instructor was going out of town. I was a bit nervous, because I wasn't sure how this instructor would be with us, but luckily I found her to be very helpful. She did keep us on the floor longer than our normal instructor does, but she really tried to make sure we had something we could do. I hate sitting around at the nursing station when things get slow.

I was even able to decline giving a medication because a patient's lab value's made it appear dangerous to give her the medication. So that was pretty awesome. I am currently trying to fight sleeping but I am absolutely exhausted right now.....so I am considering giving in. I am cold and we brought out our nice warm and fuzzy winter blanket and I puffy heart getting under that thing!!

Missed Birthdays!

So, I am not the type of person that forgets about people's birthdays. I usually remember WAY in advance, and am able to get a card and get it sent out so it arrives on time or early. I forgot my little sister's birthday. When I woke up Sunday morning.......and realized the date I felt sick. I was able to catch her and have a lil happy birthday chat, but I still feel awful that I forgot.

When I was at work on Saturday, my brain could not comprehend that it was already November. So, I think that part of that was why I forgot about the birthday because I wasn't registering what month I was actually in. Because otherwise I wouldn't have forgotten her birthday.

Nursing school has warped my perception of time quite a bit. Everything is based on when the next clinical or test day is. Nothing else really seems to matter. I have a month left of my first semester of nursing school. That is all I am looking at instead of in my mind thinking that Thanksgiving is a week from Thursday, or Christmas is roughly 5-6 weeks away. Those aren't the landmarks that I am working towards in my head.

I just can't believe my mind is becoming that overwhelmed with school that I am forgetting birthdays. I really do feel awful. =(

I am getting extra hours at work during winter break, and I may pick up some extra hours during the first 8 weeks of class next semester since my load will be lighter initially. I am not picking up full hours, so its less money, but more relaxation time for me! It is going to be wonderful!!

*Whew!*

The past 2 weeks have been rough between personal stuff and school, but I have somehow managed to survive!! I had 3 tests this week, 2 in Micro and 1 in Patho. A in Patho, A on Micro lab exam, and B on the Micro lecture exam. Oh, and throw in the mix my midterm clinical evaluation with my clinical instructor......which I was scared would be really intimidating. However, it was very positive. She talked to me about things I can improve upon or work on, but not in a way like "You really are slacking here, what's going on?!?!" Kind of way, I heart my clinical instructor. I plan on getting her a lil christmas trinket of some kind as a thank you for making my first nursing clinical experience so positive. I really do heart her!

I was unable to practice my skills this week because honestly, I just needed an effing break. I only had to go to Micro lecture today to take my test and meet with my clinical instructor, and I was looking forward to having the free time. I wanted to go tomorrow, but because of Veteran's day, the practice lab is closed, and they close early on Friday. So I just decided to let it go this week.

I will get in as much time as possible next week. I promise.

For now, I am just really grateful to have gotten through these last 2 weeks without totally screwing myself grade wise. I have been unable to study like I normally do, and too upset to care. So I am happy that the clouds are starting to clear and I can just focus on what I need to get done for school.

So, game plan for tomorrow is to sit my pretty lil behind down at Panera all day and get some reading done, work on some more online case studies, and maybe go buy from fruit to practice injections on for later in the evening. I am just happy to be back in my happy lil study groove! Oh, and Ingrid Michaelson is my new study buddy....she really helped me study the very very small amount I did for Micro last night. My buddy gave me a couple of her cds so I can upload them to my itunes, so I am excited for more of her. Jack Johnson and Ingrid Michaelson make me the calm and mellow person I usually am not! =)

Ok, going to go to sleep now so I can wake up bright and early with my hubby so I can make sure to get a good spot at Panera!

I don't know where I would be without my Study Group!!

Sooo...2nd week in a row that I have had a test that I needed to prepare for desperately, and let my personal life get in the way. Part of it was bad, but the 2nd part was VERY VERY good. I just wasn't focused. The worst thing was that this test was Patho, and its not as easy to goof your way through as our nursing theory tests.

I had done ZERO reading for this test. My study group girls saved my butt. If it wasn't for our study session, I would have been completely screwed. I am not completely sure how I did on this test, but I feel ok about it. Luckily, the things that have been bothering me are getting easier to keep at bay. So I HAVE to get my groove back!!

I had Micro lab exam, which is always a joke to me, especially when they are open note. But I'm not complaining, maybe I'll have a chance of boosting my grade up to an A, even! We have a lecture exam on Wednesday, so I have to study for that.

My clinical instructor also gave us an extra day to get our clinical evaluation done, so that must be done tonight! This past clinical felt boring to me, so we'll see how much it kills to try and get it done. I hope whichever nurse I get assigned to this Friday is ready for me, because I am going to be on her ASS, I will not be stuck researching nursing diagnoses and with no one letting me help them again!! So, finish clinical evaluation, study for Micro, and review skills for lab time tomorrow.....that's on my to-do list for tonight!

Say WHAT?1?!?!

I somehow managed an A on my test from Tuesday. *Confused Face*

I read ONE chapter out of like 8, I did a seriously pathetic and loser-ish amount of studying. How did I pull an A?

I am not complaining, honestly, but I just do not see how this is possible. This isn't some dumb Micro test that is easy to blow off and still pass. It's a nursing test. I just don't know how this could be possible. I deserved to get a bad score, because I didn't put in the time.

Ok, so now that I got that over with...........WOOO-FREAKING-HOOO!! *happy dance*

So, today was my 3rd clinical day. I remember my anti-freak out pills, and my day went much better. My patient was great, didn't have any major problems, was very low maintenance. I was able to run through my head to do assessment like a pro, no nerves at all about it. I found my patient's apical pulse. I even was able to get most of my holisitic assessment done. I really enjoyed speaking with this patient. She made my day do-able.

I should also mention that I only had 3 hours of sleep last night. I was trying to complete my holistic assessment from last week, and I did NOT realize how time-consuming it was. I have definitely learned my lesson about waiting til the last minute to work on these holistics.

So I was really worried that I would suck today due to exhaustion, but I managed to really pull through and keep on trucking. I was disappointed that I didn't get to do a subcutaneous injection because my nurse's patient that needed one was going for a procedure so he was NPO, so that meant no insulin. =(

I don't like standing around doing paperwork for my assessments. It just seemed like every time I asked my nurse, or the techs, or my patient if they needed anything or help with anything, they just kept saying no. I was really disappointed in the lack of things I got to do today. So, hopefully since I did a pretty good job getting another holistic done, maybe I can just stalk my nurse and force her to show me things!!!

So, I took a long, LONG nap after clinicals today, and I don't even feel guilty about it at all. So I was able to have a nice grocery date with Mikey, and we have just been relaxing in our pj's, watching The Office and Say Yes to the Dress. =) Makes for a nice night!

Nursing School Stops for No One!

The past week has been pretty challenging for me. Every week is a test, a clinical day, assignments due, practice and reading to be done. If you stumble, its hard to catch up again. So, nursing school is hard enough even when your life is perfect, so imagine when life is not perfect.....its something worse than hell.

I have had some personal troubles that has killed my ability to focus or dare look at a book, much less open it. It will pass, I haven't lost a limb, no one has died, just personally upsetting. And it sucks when it happens right at crunch time for a test that is bright and early Tuesday morning. I haven't gotten my score from that test yet, but if I get a poor score I will not be upset. I deserved it because I let my personal life interfere with my studying. However, it didn't feel like it was that hard, and hopefully that is not from me not giving a shit in my emotional state.

I did have some inappropriate coping mechanism, AKA drinking, with the girls Tuesday night after our test. It really did help, as much as they say you shouldn't turn to drinking to deal with your troubles.....It sure as heck helped me! I am feeling much better, but it will take time.

Ok, so Student Nurse Bear Wisdom Statement time. Nursing school involves a LOT of waiting! Waiting to get the heck out of lecture, waiting for clinical to be the heck over, waiting for the test to be done, waiting for the test scores from said test, waiting for your clinical instructor to return your clinical self-evaluation to you, waiting for winter/summer break, etc.

So, tonight is the last night I'm giving myself freedom to deal with my life, but after this I have to get back on the horse. Holistic exam to be completed, micro quiz to be completed, reading and studying to be done for Patho test on Monday, practice my injections (which by the way, they are not as exciting as I thought they were going to be, boo!) Way too much to do!!

2nd Day of Nursing Clinicals

I didn't leave today with the same warm inside feeling that I did last week. I had to do my first head-to-toe assessment on a patient today. We haven't really been given a lot of learning opportunities on this. It is one thing to do one and have your student watch, or teach them about they can approach it so they feel comfortable doing it themselves. So, its my fault, I should have tried to practice this more on my own, but I honestly didn't quite know where to start.

So, my patient today was really nice, and didn't complain as I completely mangled my assessment. I forgot my anti-anxiety pill today, so the anxiety was at full force. I couldn't find the apical pulse so I gave up, I had trouble getting the bp cuff on securely because I have never taken a blood pressure on someone who was in bed....and I didn't like the hospital BP cuff that was attached to the wall....it didn't give me enough reach. I am guessing that is because NO ONE USES THEM. They have these lovely automatic vital sign carts where the machine does all the work for you. And I was completely flustered after feeling like a dumb-dumb with the BP, that the rest of the assessment was probably stressful for me and the patient.

Luckily, the patient was a good sport. I got to go along with him as he had a diagnostic procedure done and got to do a lot of chatting with him. He was a very nice man. I also was able to pass medications for the first time today. I only had to give a few medications, so it wasn't too bad. I am kinda excited, kinda terrified about the possibility of giving an injection on a patient for the first time next Friday, when we are just learning it on Tuesday!! I was definitely be at school practicing that one!!

Side note, I am pretty sure my nurse could have cared less if I was there or not. So I basically opted to stay out of her way as much as possible unless it had to do with the patient that I was assigned to. I guess I don't blame her, they are busy people, but she hardly even tried to teach me anything.

So, I vowed to get my evaluation done before I did anything else when I got home, but I am utterly exhausted, and I think I would cry if I tried to put myself through the self-evaluation process right now especially considering I didn't feel like I was on top of my game today. =(

I no longer make decisions in my own life!

So, before I explain the title here, let me just celebrate! I got an A on my latest Patho exam, which I wasn't expecting. I figured I got a B, but I'm not complaining!! However, my excitement over my grade was very short lived because I checked my e-mail.

We all got this lovely e-mail from the program secretary telling us what classes we are to register for next semester. Now I know what you are thinking, "Duh, someone needs to let you know so you pick the right classes!". We were told what class, what day, what time, and where at. We had no choice whatsoever in how we wanted to arrange our schedules next semester. Oh, actually, sorry, I lied. We have been granted the ability to pick between Mon or Tues for our Physical Assessment class. Half of us are taking Med/Surg or Adult Health Concepts, and the other half are taking Psych concepts for the first 8 weeks of spring semester. Psych is supposed to be easier than Med/Surg, so we all wanted to get Med/Surg out of the way. However, the powers that be decided to take that decision away from us.

I was also super worried because it meant my study group could be split up, or I could be singled out. I need my study group girls!!! So, I was panicking until I realized most of us were on the same schedule. I just wish that I was able to consolidate my days a little bit for the 2nd 8 weeks where I will have to be at clinicals or lecture 4 days a week, plus whatever lab practice time I need to do on my own.

So there are definitely pros and cons, and I think its more pros than cons. I was just pretty upset about not getting to decide on my own. Maybe some of us want to try out each hospital so we have experience with all of them? First come, First served. That's how the classes and clinical assignments should be decided.

Oh well, I should just be happy that I have survived so far, and that I only have 6 weeks until this semester is over with. I could have been one of the 15 unfortunate people who didn't survive the first 8 weeks.

Self-Evaluation Sucks!

So, I felt like I had a great first day at clinicals. I did everything that I was told to do, got to help with some things that I have never had any experience with before. So I was feeling pretty good until I sit down today to do my clinical evaluation.

Let me explain a little bit. We have this form that our instructors require us to fill out after each clinical day. Then we e-mail it to our clinical instructor, they review it, and put their feedback. This helps us to recognize the things we are doing well and the things we need improvement on. These evaluations are also how we are graded.

The problem I had doing this first evaluation is that our first clinical day this week wasn't really a typical clinical day. We are still pretty fresh, we weren't able to do a lot of things yet. So we did a lot of observation. I felt pretty dumb writing "I observed....blah blah blah" all over the place. This is also not a chance to write a step by step summary of your day. So I didn't want to put down things that I considered to be CNA skills.

I have a pounding head ache now because I wish I had the ability to do this self-evaluation better. I also didn't like that there were things on this form that didn't seem to apply yet, but I didn't want to leave anything blank! This has completely thrown off my entire day. I wanted to get so much studying down, and I wasted way too much time stressing out over this evaluation.

I e-mailed it to my teacher, I am not satisfied with it, but I can't spend anymore time on it. I wrote her a little note to tell her I struggled with it. If for no other reason, than to make it known I know I sucked at it.

Ugh, so this is not giving me a good feeling about my Patho test tomorrow, because I feel horribly unprepared for it. This is it, I am not doing any other social outings if I feel its gonna screw me over on studying time. And I am not letting myself take a nap after clinicals again. I have to do things according to my plan from now on.

So, I'm gonna get off of here and get my butt to some studying!!

1st day of Clinicals!!

Oh my goodness, getting up at 4:30 was not easy!! That waterless shampoo was definitely the star of my morning routine today! I was feeling really anxious this morning when I woke up, and couldn't finish my coffee or my pop-tart. Which I ended up regretting when I got to clinicals. However, I ended up being thankful because I had to help with an enema that was especially foul smelling, and that was the first time I think I have actually gagged when dealing with poop of any sort. Luckily I was wearing a face mask, so the PCT I was helping didn't see me almost throw up, lol.

I got to clinicals WAY early, but it just helped my nerves, because I wasn't flustered. Oh and also taking my anti-anxiety medication I think helped me tremendously today!! I basically did a lot of observing, but if they needed me to help with an enema, I'm on it! Oh, you need help transporting a patient to pain clinic, Sure! Oh, Ms. Sweet Patient needs somehow to take her downstairs so she can go home, Absolutely!! If someone needed something that I could/was allowed to do, I was alllllll over it!

I liked observing, but I would have liked to get to do more, but that's what I have every other clinical day for! So, there is always going to be a little bit of anxiety when it comes to clinicals, but I really really enjoyed my first day.

I was going to go to school and get some stuff done, but I have to say I am pretty effing exhausted, so I need to nap or else I WILL pass out on the way to campus. If I don't get to school today, that's ok....I just have to adjust my plans a little bit, that's all!

Today I think definitely helped me be able to tell that this is something I want to be doing, because I felt pretty awesome when I left today!! =)

Feeling a Little Better!

Last night I was just a ball of stress. I am still anxious about my clinicals on Friday, but there is nothing I can do about that other than practice on Mike!

What I did do is take my laptop to school with me today and worked on assignments during lecture time in Micro. It is really hard to give my teacher my undivided attention in that class, so instead of playing Angry Birds or some other game on my iPod....I might as well do something productive!! So I worked on an assignment that is due for Micro on Monday, and pretty much finished it in class. Then I migrated over to Panera (where I am still at!) to keep myself from getting distracted, and I even managed to do an extra credit assignment for Micro that I wasn't planning on doing!!

So right now I am taking a mini-break. I am in the middle of organizing information I need to study for our next Patho exam on Monday. There is a lot of terminology we need to know for this test, so I have gotten the definitions for most of them. I am not entirely satisfied with them, but I will modify them as I do the reading. I am also going to go through and highlight the diseases that I need to know. I think this will help when I do my reading tomorrow.

I was really grouchy to my husband yesterday due to my stress. I could see it was uncalled for, but it was just escaping me without me being able to stop it. I don't like feeling like that, so that's part of the reason I wanted to get out of the house tonight to do my studying so I wouldn't have a repeat of last night. Me trying to study at home is really a horrible idea, I get too comfortable and there is just too much temptation to not do my studying. But when I am out of the house it is so much easier to stay on task. I still get distracted, but not nearly as much as being at home. So tomorrow I am getting up early with my hubby and heading straight out of the house and parking my but here at Panera. It really is my study haven. I don't feel like I am at school, its a laid back and relaxing atmosphere, and the music is pretty mellow. And I'm sure I have said it before, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE their chicken caesar salad.

Ok, so I am getting back to my studying now!!

Me No Like!

Ugh, stress! It is amazing how this week seems to be catching me completely by surprise somehow. I have known all along that this week would be when clinicals start, but I am sort of freaking out. It's been way too long since my CNA class, and even that I feel was a joke. Working as a CNA or Care Tech would be the best way to truly become competent at the CNA skills, but it just didn't make sense financially to take such a deep pay cut at the time. So yeah, I have never taken a blood pressure on an actual patient. I've practiced on coworkers and classmates, and my poor poor hubby, but it's not the same as doing it every day like its your job. I've never had to give a bed bath by myself, or make an occupied bed by myself. These are things I am nervous about actually doing, on top of learning new skills as a student nurse in clinicals.

Showers....I'm ok with that, peri care....I'm good with that. I guess I need to remember that I feel pretty comfortable doing most of the basics. But when you add in anxiety about passing medications for the first time to an actual LIVE patient and doing a COMPLETE head-to-toe assessment, it is nerve wracking. I know I can't stress over this anymore than this week, because new skills will be added on all the time. I have to be able to keep up and move along to the next thing, or else I won't make it. I know this can't be the world's most impossible thing, but I'm just so concerned with being as good at this as I can.

We had our hospital orientation today, and we were introduced to the unit that we will be on for the next 8 weeks. All the stuff on the walls was a bit overwhelming...my gut instinct wanted to organize, lol. I just have in my mind the nice, clean, organized halls of Grey's Anatomy...can I have my clinicals there?! Just kidding. =)

I've let my anxiety just completely kill any productivity I could have had this evening. Which adds to my stress because there is so much studying to be done, and I now will have less time to get that studying done now. Plus, I have a family function on Saturday....so it's just like a double attack on my studying time.

Having a social life is not easy when you are a nursing student. Yeah, there will be a week or weekend here or there where your load isn't too heavy. This is when you really have to take advantage and get in quality time. However, its really hard to say no to things when people ask you to go out. Nursing school involves a lot of sacrifice, but its your decision to do this, not your family or friends' decision. So its hard to say no, because you feel like you are forcing them to accept your decision and sacrifice, too. Or you could just come off as being really anti-social. It's easier to hang out with classmates because we are all on a pretty similar schedule, and we understand when studying trumps fun time, but also when studying can wait.

Gah, its just so much pressure to try to get as much as you can to make up for the time you are missing, but sometimes after a long day of school....your brain is friend and you just can't stand to look at another WORD that has to do with nursing. It never ends. So, my stress right now involves clinicals, studying, and loss of time due to my schedule change and social time with family. And I don't want to make anyone feel guilty about taking me away from studying...especially when I managed to do so much of that on my own. So we just deal with it.

Hopefully, my husband is aware by now, but he will be my own personal guinea pig. Blood pressure, head-to-toe assessments...heck, maybe I'll even give him a bed bath (he's been begging me to do this for the past year!!). I am lucky that I have him to practice on, going to school to practice sometimes can be intimidating.

Well, I must go to sleep so that I can wake up and be productive tomorrow before class. I keep wanting to go to the Student Nurses Association meetings, but Patho review sessions always fall at the same time!! Maybe next semester. *shrug* Oh, and something that I think will be my best friend....waterless shampoo!! Today was my first time trying, and I have to say, I am pretty impressed! It cut a good 20 minutes out of my normal morning routing when I don't wash my hair, and a good 30-40 minutes from when I do wash my hair. I have to say, my hair felt really soft and clean today! And I'm only starting to get a little itchy after 18 hours. So it will definitely be a life saver for when I have to wake up super early for clinicals!!

Ok, so I am really going to bed now!!

What a Lovely Week!

I made it through this school week alive. My body has not made it easy, however, let me assure you. I ate something bad on Sunday morning, and so I was sick to my stomach most of the day. Then that night, I had an awful case of heartburn/burning in the back of my throat. I woke up Monday morning feeling congested in my throat/chest, but I didn't feel sick, just annoyed. It was like I had something in my throat that I couldn't get out. I got home Monday afternoon and just started to feel awful. I went to bed pretty early after taking a hot shower and trying to hack out whatever was causing me discomfort. I woke up Tuesday with a wheezing sound and hardly any voice. Again, a super hot shower helped a lot, and I actually went to school for a study session for our nursing final.

Speaking of which, it wasn't too productive. I think we were all just over the class already, and are already in the mindset of what is to come next week when our next nursing classes begin, along with clincicals. Atleast that is how I felt. So, I was feeling better and decided to destress with the girls and go see a movie. We saw Life as We Know It. It was pretty cute. I should have gone home and rested, because being out and about for so long really zapped all of the energy I had, and I started feeling awful again. Of course, we had our Nur 110 final this morning, bright and early at 7:00 a.m.!! So I was having a mini-panic that I needed to study more, and I was going to try to pull an all-nighter, but I just didn't have it in me.

Our final was hard, but I didn't find it impossible. I don't feel like I aced it, but I don't think I flunked it either, and that's all that really matters at this time. I did manage to get a 96% on my Patho test, so that had made my day! Of course, going to school looking like death/ass and feeling even worse has sucked. I wasn't going to go to Micro lab today, but then my buddy reminded me about the quiz, so I ran off to class as quick as I could. It definitely is a life saver only being 5 minutes away from campus.

On the plus side, I am actually feeling hungry right now. I haven't eaten an actual meal since lunchtime on Monday. Eating some mozzarella sticks yesterday was something I paid for dearly. So other than coffee, or the random granola bar here or there, I haven't eaten anything. But I am definitely craving some fajitas right now, so once my honey is done mowing the lawn, IT'S ON!

I just hope that its a good sign that my body is finally kicking into gear to fight this crud and that I'll start feeling better very very soon! I need to be able to study for my micro test on Monday, and also enjoy my Pedicure that I am supposed to be getting tomorrow!!

Halfway done with this semester!!

It's hard to believe that my first nursing class will actually be over in a few days. This semester has felt very strange. It feels like it just started, but then feels like its been forever already at the same time. Don't quite get it, but it makes me realize how quickly these two years will be over. Two years seems like such a long time, but really, it goes by so quickly. So, that's probably the only thing that is on our side, is that we will be so busy that we'll be graduating before we know it!

I have put in a lot of time getting my reading done the past 2 weeks, so I felt like I needed a break. My hubby has been such a good sport about us not going out as much anymore, and I just really wanted to have a day where it was just me and him. So we went out for breakfast, did some shopping, did some more shopping, and went to see The Social Network. Which I actually really liked, but it has left me feeling almost obsessed with trying to figure out the true story of how Facebook started, and what the heck is up with this Mark Zuckerberg guy. Anyway, it was a great day.....it felt really nice to just relax and not think about school at all.

Today, I meant to be all business, but sleeping in, and grocery shopping, and lunch, and then serious conversations got in the way. I have printed a lot of information I need to review on cardiac arrhythmia and such. I just don't feel so worried. Maybe I will regret this, but I don't. My study group girls always help bring things together in my mind, and it just seems like it works out ok for me. I will buckle down and focus after my hubby gets home with some yummy Lou Malnati's (drool), but I have put in a lot of time already preparing for this test, all I need to do now is focus on the key things and make sure I have them down. Not so bad.

Clinicals are starting in about 2 weeks. We had orientation at our hospitals on the 19th, and then our first actual clinical day that Friday. I am nervous and excited all at the same time. I also feel slightly overwhelmed at all of the things we will have to do, but I will process it as I receive more information.....AKA...not gonna think about it right now!! =)

And the crying begins...

I have dealt with far more stress than any one person needs so far in school, however personal/life stress does not go away just because you are a nursing student. I have been particularly sensitive lately to really stupid things. However, a major source of pain for me is my family situation. This isn't really nursing related, but I am putting this here because it has kept me from studying for the remainder of the evening, and has kept me up far past my acceptable bed time.

I am what I consider to be estranged from my mom and older sister. It is a long story, and I won't go into them here as to why this occurred. I just need to say that it is hurtful to feel that your family can't validate your feeling when you are upset, and don't take the time to try to resolve the problem. Instead, you are left feeling like you are the bad guy, and how dare you try to expect hurtful behavior to stop.

I am a few months shy of a year of not talking to my mom, and it hurts the most when I think about my younger siblings. I was able to talk to my younger brother today, and I missed talking to him so much but didn't have his cell phone number. I worry that they will think that I don't care about them, and that I don't want to see them.......but I can't think of many ways to visit until things with my mom are resolved, and I mean truly resolved. Not just swept under the rug for the sake of the holidays.

I also stress because if they are having financial problems, I feel guilty because I can not help them. I hate seeing them struggle all the time, and I can't stop myself from feeling anxious about it. Even when I was little, I dreamed of making enough money to buy my mom a house. I realize now that is unrealistic, but that urge to help my family is still there. So it hurts even worse when I am accused of being selfish.

So here I am, up past 1:00 because I am so upset, and I have so many thoughts running through my head. There is no way I will survive tomorrow!!

I'm just gonna move into Panera

Panera and Starbucks have become my go-to places for studying. I have found that when I am trying to study at home, I get this weird-totally-exhausted-can't-keep-my-eyes-open thing going on, but the second I jump into the car its gone. I kid you not. I know sitting at Panera and drinking way too much soda is not good for me, but whatever is allowing me to get in as much studying as I need to, it shall be done!

I just can't afford to slack, and for some reason when I am at home, my body knows it and tries to sabotage me. Right now, I am in the midst of preparing for the week of hell. Our Nursing concepts final, our cardiac test in Patho, and a big test in Micro....all in the same week. We have 9 chapters to read just for the concepts final, plus study all the material from day 1 of class. So I have a lot to get done, and not what I would consider a whole lot of time to prepare.

So far, I have the Patho chapters, and I'm still like "huh?". So, I got a Patho Made Easy book, and I'm still like "huh?", so this is going to be one nasty lil test. So I am glad I started with it first.

I also finally got my financial aid situation resolved. They haven't been disbursing my aid to me for some reason, and I found out finally that its because they had me marked as being in an ineligible program. Hmmmm.....I guess nursing isn't something the government wants to spend its money on?!??! Doesn't make sense, but whatever, it got fixed. So I don't have to worry about them trying to take an obscene amount of money out of our checking account next week! *phew!*

But anyway, today, I got my teeth cleaned, and apparently the stress of school is causing me to grind, so I am having a night guard made. Now Mikey and I can have super fun conversations and make fun of each other for how stupid we sound when we try to talk. Before now, its basically been me doing that to him, so I will deserve the payback.

Tonight, we are going out with Mike's brother and his girlfriend. I am looking forward to the drink and catching up!

Exhaustion

Let's just save everyone a lot of trouble right now.......if you are thinking about asking me how I am, just stop. You can simply assume that I am exhausted, and you will be correct! I wish there was some way to not feel this way everyday, and that is legal. The amount of information I am squeezing into my brain, and being tested on every week, is to blame. Physically, I am in school just a little more than past semesters, I am working WAY less....but the amount of studying I have to do is through the roof it seems.

I do feel good because I haven't started out failing, which I was pretty scared that I would. I just wish that the amount of studying I have to do would help with the anxiety of test day. I always feel anxious on test day. For this past Patho test we had, I stayed up til 1 in the morning studying and got 5 hours of sleep. This resulted in me wanting to cry the whole day. Even though I didn't feel like the test was that bad, I just felt like I was about to cry at any given moment. It didn't help when people started debating test questions, and being kind of rude about it.

Luckily, my nursing buddies and I went for drinks after our day was done, and it was exactly what I needed. I was able to relax the rest of the day, watched some TV, and went to bed early. Of course, I had to get up bright and early this morning, so the exhaustion just comes right back! Ugh! This is the life of a nursing student!

I am just waiting for it to get interesting. I want to learn the things I will be doing. It could even spark my energy to come back! Ha, right!

So, I am taking a one hour nap, I think those seem to be working out best for me....and then on to read the horrific number of chapters I must read!!

B is the new A!!

Our scores are up for our Nur 110 test from Tuesday, and this girl managed to get an 88%! Very happy with that score! I have decided that B is my new A! Not that I don't really really really like having As, but I just know that I'm going to beat myself up too much if I strive to make an A on everything. If I get a B, I consider that pretty darn good, and if I get an A, well then its just like extra frosting on my cake with a big scoop of ice cream on top!! Also, it takes a lot of the pressure off of the final because I don't need to worry about getting a perfect score on it to be able to pass the class, which is always lovely!

Today, I just went and sat at Panera all day and read our chapter on cancer for Pathophysiology. I would like to finish up one more chapter tonight before Grey's Anatomy comes on, but that might be pushing it. I have to know what happens after last season's CRAZY finale. Ugh, I had just gotten my acceptance letter not too long before that episode came on with the crazy gunman shooting up the whole hospital. It's already bad enough I'm going to be terrified walking into the hospital for clinicals, please don't put ideas in my head that I might get shot while I am there!

On a side note, it is kind of weird to think about the fact that it hasn't really been that long since that episode was on. At that time, I had no idea what exactly would happen with school, what things I would need to do, or buy. And it seemed like FOREVER until school would actually start! I could only imagine what things were going to be like. So now that I am well into my first semester of nursing school, I have to say it isn't quite what I thought it would be just yet.

I mean, I knew it would be hard and require an insane amount of studying, but I guess I just thought we would be learning more skills right away, and that hasn't really happened. We have been going over oral medication administration with our 4th semester mentors, but that seems pretty simple to me. I know the skills with be flooding in soon enough, but the theory stuff is just so boring to me!

Also, I got a letter today saying I am eligible to join Phi Theta Kappa, which is an honors society. That was like an extra little perk to my day. It's taken me a year to get my GPA up from under 2.0 to over 3.5, and I am darn proud of it. I have gotten As in all the classes I have taken since Summer 2009, and retook some classes that I did poorly in due to a huge lack of time. I tried to get grade forgiveness for one class that is no longer offered, but it was denied for some reason.....whatever!

In other news, Mike got his promotion at work FINALLY! And this one comes with a raise! He deserved this! He has done so well since he started with this company 3 years ago. It's been a good week here!

Week 5

So far, I have managed to survive the first 5 weeks of nursing school. I am not doing too bad, of course my perception on that could easily change Thurs/Friday once I get my latest test scores from Nursing 110. Our test yesterday was longer than the 1st one, and I know I probably got a handful or so wrong, but I don't feel that I did so poorly that I failed it. Of course, my perception on that could change as well, =).

I have been trying to get to all of the reading, but the thing that I think really helps me is making flashcards and my study buddies. I am really fortunate to have met these girls, and that all of us became a team. It really has made all the difference. Plus they are some funny bee-otches, so it is definitely useful when your brain is mush from 4 hour lectures!

Anyway, so I passed my Micro test! I got a B! I would have been a C, but she gave everyone 2 points for one question that was confusing. So that made me happy that I did ok on it. I will definitely try to give a little more effort next time, just because I hate that feeling that I have failed a test.....and deserving it for the lack of studying. And I passed my Dosage Calculation test. You can't get any of the questions wrong, and some of my friends missed just one point because of a stupid mistake, so I tried to be extra extra extra careful, and it paid off!

We also had to have our drug tests yesterday. It is NOT FUN to have to pee from 10:00 in the morning to 2:00. But I knew that I had to do that or I wouldn't have had much pee to give. They only had one girl doing the drug tests, so it took forever. Luckily, I was semi-close to the front, so I was done early for the day. But I'm sure people were there way later than normal. At least the people who were honest and didn't cut in front of the line like a jerk like some people. People truly amaze me.

Which brings me to my next topic. It's kind of a slap in the face when you see people who obviously don't grasp the seriousness of nursing school. I worked my butt off to get As and to improve my GPA to get into the program. I realize how hard it is to get in, so now that I am here, I am truly grateful for the opportunity and I am doing everything I can to make sure I finish. So when I see people who are 30 minutes late for lecture, leave a 3 hour lecture 2 hours early, are LATE for an EXAM, are seriously concerned if there are going to be anymore drug tests and then makes the comment that there is always cranberry juice, or is stupid and orders scrubs from some cheap place not caring that our patch has to be on it, and only ONE PLACE has the ability to put the official patch on it, and that's why we were told to order our scrubs from there, and that it was mandatory.......I get kind of ticked off.

This is a professional program, and let's act like we are serious about it. I don't want you being my nurse if this is how you are approaching it already. We are all human, I'd rather sleep in til 9:30 and play angry birds all morning instead of go to lecture all day. But I don't because this is important to me. I have worked too hard the past year or so to get to this point, and I'm not gonna mess it up. So, it really bothers me when I see people like this, because they don't seem to be taking this as seriously as they should, thus the lack of being on time or simply paying attention. How do these people manage to get into the program with this kind of work ethic?! That's what kind of ticks me off more, because these people are evidence that nursing school ISN'T hard to get into, and that I could have saved myself a lot of trouble had I just been a slacker.

I know that last statement isn't really true, but I am confused on how people like that get in. They must have had decent grades or a good NLN, so why are they slacking now? Anatomy and Physiology was just practice, this is the game we have to win. I know I should just worry about myself, because I know those who are not putting in the work now will not survive for one reason or another.

So, today I normally sleep in with Mikey and slack around until Micro, but he had to work today, so I got up early with him, and I just need to finish getting ready and then I am off to school to study. I can't stay at home because I won't get anything done, plus I have to be at school later anyway. So that's my day! Our next Patho test is Monday, so I'm getting myself into hardcore study mode!

Retail Therapy Time!

Ok, I just completed my 4th week of nursing school. I haven't bought anything for myself that wasn't coffee or school related.....and it was driving me a little bonkers. I know, I know, I know, shopping when you are stressed is a dangerous thing, but sometimes a girl just has to give in! I have been studying a lot, and so far I have done well on my tests....and I seriously contemplated it before I went, it wasn't a spur of the moment decision. I felt pretty torn about taking the time to go to the mall away from study time.

So anyway, it didn't help at all that I happened to get a coupon for my favorite store in the world, Coach. Shopping at Coach with a coupon is WAY better than shopping at Coach without one. And I consider that being as thrifty as I can be without constantly stalking the outlet that is 45 minutes away in good traffic.

So, this shopping is nursing related because I'm adding it to the list of inappropriate coping mechanisms r/t nursing school. This will be my last shopping trip for a while because school is about to get downright nuts in a few weeks with clinicals starting, and I will be way too busy to even think about nice new shiny things that get brought out to you in a gift box with a pretty ribbon tied around it.

Oh, and I picked up from eye cream from Clinique to help ward off the tired eye look that I am starting to fear will become permanent. I'm 26 and need to start thinking about the future well-being off my skin. So, this is nursing school related as well, because I think nursing school is going to age me far more than 2 years for some reason!

Alright, its time to go to sleep so I can wake up bright and early and get cracking on more studying!!

100%!

I got a perfect score on my Patho test! Oh Happy Days!! I am glad that my gut was right about this test!

But the Micro test today?! It sucked. I should have studied more for it. That's what I get for not caring. I felt like I was guessing on a lot of them, so I don't really feel too confident about it. I will be happy just to pass it, but I won't be too terribly surprised if I fail it. It's just one test, so I'm not too worried about it. I just wish I hadn't neglected it. I can only try to do better for the next one.

Micro lab sucked today. It's usually about an hour and 40 minutes. We had to do acid-fast staining and endospore staining. It's pretty simple, it is just time consuming because you have to allow 30 minutes for the the first stain to set. We have to get signed off by our instructor so that we get credit for that procedure. And my acid-fast positive specimen was washed off of my slide. I'm not gonna get into what I think happened, but I was pretty ticked off. Anyway, I had to stay for the next lab session so I could redo it, and I ended up being at school for an extra 2 hours. Such a waste of time.

So my school week is over, and my focus is going to be on preparing for my next NUR 110 test and getting caught up on my reading. We also have our dosage calculation test on Tuesday, and you have to get 100% on it, or else you have to retake it. And I really don't want to have to retake it. I want to just move on to the next thing.

So, I might be getting some coffee and buckling down and getting some reading done. Fun!

A Test Every Week and Then Some!

This constant preparation for a test is killing me. There is no time to relax before you get down to business for the next test. Which is almost good, because it has been leaving me less anxious this week for my test results on my Patho test. Which, by the way, I feel I did pretty good on. I'm not gonna say I aced it, but I am not stressing about it. And of course, it could always go the other day, and it will turn out I failed it. But usually if I'm not freaking out even just a little bit, I probably did ok.....that's just my normal track record. So we'll see.

But I am exhausted, and I totally don't care at all about my Micro test tomorrow. I've gone over most of the chapters that the test is on. Once I eat something, I will start going over the notes from class. But other than that, I don't care. I really wish I would have taken this class over the summer or something, because I really dislike having it take up my time that I need to study for my other classes. I do like the labs, though, they are fun playing with bacteria, and seeing how things grow from "nothing".

My study-buddies have decided to up our study-group ante and meet twice a week now. Which is good because it will cut down on me being unproductive, but it also leaves me with less time to do my reading this week that I had a plan to get caught up on. So, its still something school-related and educational and counts as studying, so it can be too bad.

In other news, my hubby has class and is going out afterwards with his buddy he used to work with a long time ago. It makes me feel better that he is going out with friends more, since he and I can't go out too much anymore together. He is really understanding, but I know he misses it, and I really really miss it. I want nothing more than to relax on the weekend and spend every free minute with him. That's just possible right now unfortunately. But we are hoping for a nice night out tomorrow in early October. I think I will definitely due for a mental break by that point!!

Why Can't I Be an Early Bird?!?!

It's pretty early in the morning, especially for a Saturday. I would much rather be in my nice, warm, comfy bed snuggling up with my hubby. But I can't, because I have to work today. I really wish waking up this early was easier, so I could jump start my day with productivity. It's just too hard!

I did manage to be pretty productive yesterday. I am a little behind on my reading, but I created a game plan for the next week to get it down, and get caught up. I also got through our worksheet for drug dosage calculations. The hardest part was remembering grams to milligrams, or teaspoons to tablespoons, etc. I will keep practicing, but I feel better about it already. I also have the majority of my nursing philosophy paper written. I need to finish up the end, and then go through and make sure its completely in APA format, and add my cover sheet. Then that baby will be done!

It was a lot easier to write once I took a piece of paper, and decided to come up with 3 statements each about health, person, environment, and nursing. Once I really thought about them, and came up with 12 good statements, it was much easier to write the paper. I could actually write more than 2 pages, but I don't want to look like an overachiever or anything, lol. I can finish up the rough edges Monday night if I had to. I need to be 100% pathophysiology right now. I am giving myself a little time on Sunday to study for Micro, because I have a test on Wednesday, however its not a priority. I think Micro is gonna be a pretty easy class, and this first test is all pretty basic stuff in my opinion.

Anyway, so other than that, I am completely dedicated to Patho. I didn't get to make as many flashcards as I wanted to, but that's ok. I will get through it, and I also have another study session on Sunday. Our session last week helped so much for our first nursing test. I am glad I have a support system in place! =)

Annual Violation Time!!

Ok, this is going here because I need my physical done in order to be cleared for clinicals. Today was the day, and on top of the physical, I had to have my pap smear done. I always refer to it as my yearly violation, because when I am forced to spread my legs for someone that isn't my husband, that is a violation. I know its necessary, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I usually reward myself with ice cream, but its pretty early, so I settled for an Einstein Bros. bagel instead.

My appointment didn't start out well, because I got called back only to be told my doctor wasn't going to be there until 9:30. I am pretty sure the office staff were trying to cover their butts that someone told Dr. Bartels that she didn't have to be there until 9:30 today, instead of 8:30. I refused to reschedule, and I insisted that someone was going to see me. I was just there last Fri, and they gave me a sheet with the correct appointment time written on it, and the desk girl confirmed my appointment. I was livid that they did this to me. I have had a number of extremely frustrating phone calls with them, the staff at this office (a select few anyway) are completely incompetent and need to find another line of work.

Instead of trying to cover your butt, just admit, someone put the wrong time down for Dr. Bartels, and do whatever was humanly possible to accomodate me ASAP. Instead, I'm standing there about to cry because I am so frustrated. Luckily, it worked out where Dr. Bartels got there early, and everything was fine. And surprise, my blood pressure was normal even though I was fuming mad.

Plus, I love Dr. Bartels, she really helped me relax and feel at ease as we started talking. Luckily, I am pretty healthy, other than my weight, and my cholesterol is just a little high, but alot of it is good cholesterol, so nothing to worry about it. I got my MMR booster, and my sheet signed for my clinicals. Of course we joked about how quitting my job cured my blood pressure problem.

And all that for just a $5 copay, not bad. So, as long as my pap is normal I'm good. She also said she would give me a referral to a nutrionist if I wanted to, and she understood right now is a pretty overwhelming time, so I could wait til I was ready.

So, I just got done eating, and I am going to start studying. I have a lot of reading I want to get done today, so I have to be all business! I did make a ton of flashcards for our next fundamentals test and patho. So I did get productive in some way!

My Philosophy of Nursing

So, this is a paper that is due on Tuesday for our fundamentals course. It's not meant to be a "why I want to be a nurse" type of paper. It is supposed to state your beliefs about nursing. Like..."I believe an important role in nursing is advocacy for your clients.", or "I believe a client's internal environment can play a role in illness as much as their external environment.". And typing that out is helpful, because I have 2 out of 10 personal statements knocked out of the way. I have to make sure to touch on the 4 parts of the Nursing Paradigm: Person, Health, Environment, and Nursing. And then make 2 pages out of it.

First off, I have just started nursing school. The only thing I know enough about to write a 2 page paper on without any references is why I wanted to go into nursing school. I don't know enough to have my own philosophy. I know this is an exercise that will really be meant for comparison when we are in our 4th semester, to show how our beliefs about nursing will have changed by that point. But it is still ridiculous to me.

Anyway, my insisting to get this done today, has led me to getting nothing done at all. I think I have been so stressed out over my test that I have been frozen. So part of me feels like I need to relax, and allow myself this free time I've had to just be completely and utterly lazy. But the other part is yelling that I could have gotten so much done!!

I am just still so happy I got a B on my test. I don't think I have been so happy for a B in my life!!

I got a B!!

I don't know how this is possible, but I got a B! Most of my buddies got B's, but one got a 100%!! I'm so happy we all did so well. Especially because we were all praying desperately to get a C! I have been so bummed the past couple of days. I really felt completely sure I did awful. So this is definitely a much needed booster!!

On top of feeling bummed, my sleep schedule has been completely off. So I have had zero motivation, plus I know when I am exhausted, I am useless. I could read a whole chapter ,and not remember any of it. So I went to bed really early last night. I have been pretty useless today, too. But I do feel more inspired to get moving now that I know I'm not already failing nursing school!

Oh, and I am volunteering for the Heart Walk at school in a few weeks. I am looking forward to it, and getting back to my volunteering roots. When I was @ EIU, I was part of a service sorority, and it always felt good to volunteer...except for the picking up trash all over campus in flip flops when I had just put lotion on my feet.....worst idea ever! I was also part of a couple of volunteer clubs in high school. So, I'm happy I will get plenty of opportunities like this. Plus it doesn't hurt that I will atleast have one thing in my nursing portfolio before the end of this 8 weeks! =)

Ok, gotta get moving here!! First Patho test is on Monday, and then first Micro test is on Wednesday!! And we have a paper due on Tuesday! Good Lord!!

F%*^!

That test was complete crap. I feel I am a pretty smart girl, and I studied my butt off, and I feel like there is a good possibility I may not be getting a C on this test. I know I typically fret, and worry like I did horrible on tests, only to come out looking like a jerk because I got an A. But this test was on a different level, the wording was completely designed to not be obvious. And its confusing, we need to apply and think critically when looking at these questions, but then we aren't supposed to over-think them either. And it bothered me when there were several questions that my friends answered one way, and I answered completely different. I know I need to stop fretting over it because, ya never know, I could have done fine. And there is nothing I can do to change it, this test is done and over with.



We are going over the test during our next lecture, and hopefully that will give me insight on what I was doing wrong during studying. She also told us that if we would like, she can send our tests over to the testing center to be analyzed, and they could help us with strategies for test taking. If you fail the test, you are required to have a one on one with the teacher.....lovely. I know this should be a good thing, and that she will be able to help you get a better grasp on things. I just know I will feel horribly shamed if I end up having to do that.

So a couple of my nursing buddies and I went out for lunch and drinks to help destress. It definitely helped, but no amount of booze is going to make me not worry. The test scores will be posted by Friday, so that's only 3 days of anxiety. Plus the 6 days of anxiety for our patho test on Monday. So, right now, I am taking a nap, because I am exhausted, and I know I will be completely useless if I try to do any reading/studying right now. My mind just needs a break, and then I will go full force into my studying.

Again.................F*%*!!!!!!

Holy Crap!

Ok, so it's 5:45 in the morning, in other words, it too friggin' early. But today is test day for fundamentals. I have been studying as much as humanly possible, without making my brain quit to find another human who doesn't abuse it so much. I also had a study session with my nursing buddies last night, and it was really helpful. And I didn't feel like the weakest link, so that helped calm my nerves a bit.

I am still not looking forward to this test because it's not the same type of format where I usually thrive. I am trying to remember that most people don't get an A or B on this test, but its still hard to not really hope I get an A. I'm also not really sure how better I could possibly have prepared for this test without taking some form of illegal drug, so I'm a little bitter that doing really well seems so far out of reach the way the teachers describe it.

Anyway, I probably won't know how I did on the test for a few days, and that is going to drive me insane. Please go back where I said I will compulsively check a website until it gives me the information I need. So, me and blackboard will be in close contact....ooh, like every 3 minutes for the next few days. It's an illness, I know, but there's nothing I can do about it.

Well, off I go to finish getting ready for class, so I can get this thing over with already!

Happy Saturday!!

So, I'm about to go out and have a fun date night with my hubby. I totally need it, too. All day Thurs, Fri, and today, I have been studying/reading/making flashcards. I found a really awesome flashcard app for my iPod touch.....I was able to make nearly 200 flashcards on http://www.quizlet.com/ and export them to my iPod. It took me a while to type them all out, but it was time well spent. Now, I can stop worrying about the time I will losing to study tomorrow during a barbecue my in-laws are throwing, because I can go through my flashcards during it and not have a barricade of books around me. I decided to be nice and share them my study buddies, I just spent too much time on them to not let others benefit from it.



Speaking of which, we are having a study session on Monday, and I feel a little better about it because I did so much review just from making the flashcards. I have this fear of looking like the weakest link. I don't need to be the smartest, or get the highest grades, I just don't want to look like I didn't even try when everyone else has the subject matter down.

I guess all that matters is that my anxiety has gone down a bit about the test. I'm still anxious about it, but I don't feel panicked. I'm trying to remember that I can't let this one test make me ignore everything else, because we have our first test in Patho next Monday. I realize that it's really important to stay on top of things, and not put off anything else I absolutely have to. I could have waited to get caught up on my reading for fundamentals, but it would have been even more hellish for me to do that reading this next week on top of the reading I need to do for the week after, on top of studying for my patho test.....and on and on and on. I need to really maximize my time for reading during the week (i.e. mon-wed when I tend to slack) so I have thurs-sun to study for the next week's test.

OK, so now that I've stated the obvious...let's get back to date night. We are going to go see Going the Distance. It tickles me pink because Mike and I had a long distance relationship, so I can totally relate! And plus, my brain is a bowl of oatmeal right now, so I need to give it some dumb-down-time so it can congeal back into its normal form.

So Much To Do!

Ok, so today is Day 1 of 6. 6 Days to study before first, big, scary fundamentals test. I have to do a little Patho reading, so it feels more like 5. Plus when you add in the reading I have to do for lecture in fundamentals next week, then it feels like 4. And you add in date night with hubby, and Labor day barbecue with the family, well now it feels like 2.5. It all starts to take away from my actual study time very very quickly! So I have made the executive decision that working out will be put on hold for the next couple of days because I need every hour I can get. So I have to hustle this nearly week-long weekend of mine.

I have also decided that I think I like Micro. The past couple of lab days, we have learned how to make heat-set smears, and do gram staining, and I really like doing it. I don't know why, but you give me any kind of process that is like an assembly line set up, I'm all about it. Stuffing envelopes? LOVE IT! Making gift bags? Love it! I have always been a little weird with things like this. Anyway, lecture is pretty boring to me, but lab time is awesome to me.

Off to study!!

Overload

I realized today that I somehow managed to not realize I needed to read 4 additional chapters in my fundamentals class.......wonderful.

This week has gone well so far. I am starting to think that trying to study on Mondays, after a full day of class, and working out, would be close to cruel and unusual punishment. I am so exhausted, that there is just no way. Maybe when this extra energy that I am supposed to have from working out starts kicking in, then I'll be able to study. But right now, its just not happening.

Our first test is on Tuesday, and I'm really not looking forward to it. I am expecting trickery and confusion. Luckily, its a holiday weekend, so I have a lot of extra time to study and prepare. We are also having a study group session on Monday, so I'm hoping that helps a lot!

I have found that I like multi-tasking while working out. I got most of the reading done for our dosage calculation. I still need to go back and do the work problems, but the reading itself is pretty much done. This, I am looking forward to. I like it so much more than theory. I am interested so much more in the doing part, than the background mumbo-jumbo. I guess because this was the part that I didn't like about psychology, all the different theories. Show me how to do something, and tell me why I am doing it, I'm good. But I guess its just a necessary evil.

Alright, well I gotta get moving and do some studying tonight!!

I'm a hustler, baby!

So....getting "started" on my Micro reading last night turned into finishing it, and reading one of my chapters for fundamentals, too. I am really happy with how much I got done last night. So today, I just need to finish the 2nd chapter I need to read for fundamentals, and print an obscene number of powerpoint slides, and I am all ready for this next week!

I am hoping that was me finding my stride. I was going to try to finish the 2nd chapter of fundamentals, but I was too tired to absorb it. So I opted for printing some of the powerpoints and doing some assignments we have to turn in this week.

So, I am excited because that means I can enjoy my day with Mike today and relax a little bit.....because starting tomorrow, this girl is ALL business!! Atleast until next weekend. =)

Whew!

I finally got my reading done for Pathophysiology. It took me 3 days. How is that even possible? This chapter was really long, and had some really important stuff in it. However, reading it was a complete snooze fest. Last night, I was reading, and I kept wanting to fall asleep. I finally gave up, because when I could literately pass out while reading the book, its not productive. So I switched to one of the books we have reading in for Nursing Fundamentals, I was wide awake. I have learned that I am no good if I am trying to absorb material while simultaneously passing in and out of awareness. So I need to remember to stop and switch it up when this is happening.

It was much easier to read the last part of the chapter on acid-base balance today after work, and with some Starbucks in my system!!

Speaking of which, it felt really really weird to be at work today. Since I am not there during the week, it kind of feels like I quit. I don't know why, it just does. I quickly got over it, and had a good day. The day went by pretty quickly, and I didn't feel too stressed. Of course, in comparison to the stress that school is going to put me through, I would say that sounds about right. =)

Well, I guess I am on to start either my Microbiology class or more Fundamentals reading as my hubby is delayed in coming home. Fun!

The Sneezing Baby Panda

Distractions and procrastination got the best of me today. Fluids and Electrolytes is not an easy read........its a concept I understand, but I just hate reading it. However, if I must be distracted by something, flipping through each and every single page of my big fat medical dictionary to look at the pictures is still academically related, so its not entirely bad. However, watching this video 5 times probably would not be in the same category:

I thought this was so cute!! How could you not watch it over and over again??

So, I am still disappointed in my productivity today, but like Mike keeps telling me, this is just the first week. I just need to find my stride. Which is so true, once I get into straight study mode, I'll be good. I am also trying to adjust to my schedule change from working most of the week, to class and studying most of the week.

I will wake up early tomorrow instead of sleeping in, and go to the gym as early as I can. That way I can come home and get down to business. I will probably have to study on Saturday or Sunday, too, but that's ok. I need to be thankful that I have that time available to me. I don't even know what I would do if I was working more than Saturdays!!

Multi-Tasking

So, I put it in my schedule to work out this morning. But when I woke up, I was feeling lazy and thought I'd give myself a free day. I was having such a hard time getting myself to get moving. And I didn't feel quite so sore as I was expecting, so I decided to get myself to the gym and just suck it up. I also brought along a handout we received on The Neuman Systems Model, which is what our program is based upon. So I got half way through it in my 45 minutes on the elliptical machine. So that made me feel better that I was able to multi-task, and it made both things go by much faster it seems.

I didn't realize how completely nuts Harper's parking is. It took me forever to find a spot. I knew it was always bad, but maybe it's because I was trying to park in a different section than I normally do. So, Note to Self, don't lolly-gag and wait til 11 to get to the gym, go early in the morning like you were planning!!

All Done!

I had the last class of the week today. Microbiology wasn't as interesting as I was hoping it would be. I was disappointed in my culture, hardly anything grew on it! Everyone else had tons of stuff on theirs! Oh well. At least its over with. I also went to the gym again today, even though I really didn't want to. I have to keep doing it though, only good things will come from it. I am considering incorporating my weight loss (hopefully I will lose, not gain!) in with my posts about school.

Our teacher yesterday said something that definitely struck a chord with me, "Take care of yourself". It's important that I have some balance, and exercise will definitely help contribute to keeping me healthy.....and looking good in scrubs is a definite plus! So while I don't intend this to be a weight loss blog, I think it will be good to celebrate my little victories in getting myself to the gym and seeing some results.

In a sorta related topic, I ordered my scrubs today. I had them custom make a set for me, because I'm one size on top, and another on the bottom. It was way more expensive, but I need to be comfortable and feel like I don't look too horrible in my scrubs. So whatever.

I have the next two days free to get all of my reading and studying done. I really would like to get in some free/fun time with Mike this weekend. So hopefully I can get it done!

Again.....Completely Exhuasted!

Start time today was 8:00, and I was ready to leave the house by 7:20. I thought I had PLENTY of time to run to Starbucks and get back to school in time. Of course, I wasn't including the LONG line of people who would be there, and also the ridiculous traffic going North on Roselle Rd. I didn't want to be late, and tick off the powers that be and make them think I'm horribly irresponsible. Luckily, I got there right on time.

Dr. L was ok, class seemed like it took for-evvvv-errr. But it could have been worse I guess. We also had our orientation to 112/Lab. Barb #2 was nice, and seemed to understand the overload we are getting ourselves into.

And yes, I went to the gym today....finally! It wasn't bad, and the fitness center at school had plenty of machines. I worked out on the elliptical machine for 45 minutes. It felt pretty good.

As a result of my busy day, I am completely pooped again. I had these beautiful plans of studying Monday and Tuesday nights, but it didn't happen this week. Maybe once I get used to the schedule, it will be easier.......but I was just so tired after I got cleaned up and ate dinner. And Annie, one of the cats here, demanded my attention for well over an hour. And I didn't mind, she's a bit of a loner, and it tickles me pink that she has let me pet her since we moved in, and she even purred a little bit for me today, which she rarely does. Something about it just makes me feel good that she thinks I'm ok. Saying she likes me feels like it might be an overstatement without further evidence. lol.

Tomorrow I have to call and order my scrubs for clinicals, evidently my special hips need a specially-made scrub top. I am going to go to the gym in the morning, and then I have Microbiology at 1:00. And luckily its my only class, so I hope to not be so exhausted tomorrow. I also have all day Thursday and Friday to do all of my reading and studying for next week. So I guess I'm forgiving myself a little bit for not doing a whole lot of studying tonight and last night. At least I'm not having to catch up on the reading that was lectured on THIS week.

Well, my hubby is staring at me because he's as tired as I am and he needs his manly sleep. Ha, see, I need my beauty sleep, and he needs his........oh nevermind. I'm a goof.

G'Night!

Completely Exhausted!!

Seriously, the 5:30 wake up calls are going to kill me. I just got home a lil bit ago, and I feel completely wiped out. I don't understand why sitting in a classroom for the whole day is somehow worse than sitting at your desk all day if you were at work.

Cute new shoes I got for school....rubbed my heel raw.....within the first hour I was at school. Not cool at all cute new shoes. But I got some gel heel things, so hopefully this won't happen again!

So, OK.....on to how the day went. It went fine, I got to the library and went all over the place to find the lab manual.....I wish they still had the people who would just get the books for you. So much time was wasted looking for this thing. Anyway, by the time I got all of the things I needed, the line was already backed up.....wonderful. *eye roll* I was really happy I had plenty of time. But then, by the grace of the bookstore gods, they couldn't accept credit cards because the system was done. So they could only run transactions that were cash or check, and by golly, I had my little Hello Kitty checkbook!! It felt good getting to skip up to the front of the line! Oh, and let me also mention that I was sweating like I was in sauna for some reason. Harper apparently keeps the classrooms freezing cold, but lets the hallways be miserable.

1st class was Pathophysiology. The buddies I made from practice lab this summer were there, so we all sat together. Mr. H was nice, and he has a really THICK Boston/NJ/New York accent. I found myself laughing on the inside when certain words were completely pronounced wrong. But he made class more enjoyable, and gave us plenty of breaks, so it wasn't so bad.

Then we had a Welcome Back party for the Student Nurse Association. I got my first T-Shirt, and I'm super excited about it! It was nice to have a free lunch and get to chat. And we all went outside for the rest of our break, and I got to change out of said cute shoes and felt so much better!

Micro lecture was really really boring, but I didn't mind lab so much. We got to take samples to culture bacteria in these petri-dishes. I sampled my hand, and the door knob. So it will be interesting to see what kind of nastiness was on my hands. I have a feeling I am going to like this class, even if it might be more difficult, the labs seem like something right up my alley.

I signed up for the Fitness center at school. Had my bag all ready, and paid my dues, only to be told there is a 24 hour waiting period before you can work out. That sucked....but, at least now, I can go to the library and watch the DVD from the other day, and then go work out after school. So it'll be fine.

So, I'm gonna try this power-nap thing out that everyone talks about so I can have some energy to get through my reading I have to do tonight. *yawn*

Today is the Day!!

5:30 came WAY too early this morning!!

Today, I am officially a full-time student in nursing school. I hope I don't accidentally drive to work instead of school out of habit. And I wish there was a Starbucks between here and school. I will have to live without I guess!

It totally feels like it did when I was little on the first day of school. I was always WAY too excited the night before and couldn't sleep. Then waking up when it was still dark outside, and getting dressed, and getting all my new little school supplies together in my backpack, and putting on my new school shoes......I always loved it!

Obviously, it's a little different, because I feel like I can't move right now until I get my morning coffee. I miss the days where I could stay up late, and get up at 4 in the morning, and be able to function just fine.

We'll see how we feel at the end of the day, I am foreseeing an extremely exhausted girl here!!

As if I'm not crazy enough....

Nursing school is enough of a time commitment, and now I decide that I need to add working out to my schedule. And what better way to start than to sign up for the school's fitness center tomorrow after school? *sigh*

I know this is good for me, and it will give me an hour break from studying each day....I think I can do this. Plus, the cute scrubs only come in the smaller sizes, and I am thinking long-term here people. In two years, my uniform will be entirely scrubs, and I need to feel as cute as I can. And scrubs don't make that easy for anyone, much less us for us bigger girls.

I got my reading for Microbiology done, back-pack is ready. I have already mentally decided what I will wear tomorrow, so I won't spend 20 minutes fighting with myself in front of the closet. I just need to pack a gym bag and I'll be set! Oh, and make up a good mix of songs on my iPod for working out.

Less than 24 hours!

At this time tomorrow, my pretty little behind will be sitting in Pathophysiology. I have all of my powerpoints/class lecture notes and syllabi printed out. I decided to put this week's stuff in one notebook that I will take to class with me this week, and then when this week is over, they get transferred into the big notebooks I bought, and next's weeks powerpoints will go in. Nice system, huh?

The one thing I am totally kicking myself over is I completely forgot about my Micro lab manual. They didn't think to give it to me when I bought my books, and I just completely forgot. And we need it for the first day of Lab, so now I have to get up EXTRA early tomorrow so I can hit the bookstore BEFORE my 8:30 class starts. So I'm really mad at myself for this, because I hate feeling rushed in the morning. It's just the worst way to start your day.

Luckily, they are throwing a little "Welcome Back" lunch party for us Nursing students between classes. I am looking forward to it. They are selling t-shirts, and I am excited to get one of my own. I am also looking forward to meeting more of my fellow nursing classmates. Plus, it is free lunch, so gotta take advantage of that!

Last night, Mike and I went out for dinner. We were gonna go out for drinks, but I wasn't feeling in the mood for some reason. So we got some ice cream to bring home and watch a comedian DVD, Kevin Hart is a pretty funny guy. It was nice to have one last night out with Mike before my life becomes all books and studying. Today, I have to get some reading done for Microbiology. I wish the teacher would have posted our syllabus sooner, because I could have had the reading done already. Oh well, I just can't let the semester start out already being behind. I just can't do it!

Mikey's classes start Tuesday, its gonna be weird not having him home for dinner on Tues and Thurs before he goes to class. But I am happy that he won't have to be out so late anymore like he used to.

Well I need to get moving, and get my studying done so I'm not up super late tonight!

3 is the Magic Number...Yes It is!

Oh Jack Johnson, thank you for all of your help studying today.....wouldn't have been able to do it without you!

I slept in way later than I meant to today, but I was pretty tired and I think trying to study would have been a lot harder if I had gotten up at the original time. But I was really good about getting out of the house as fast I could (which normally takes FOREVER!). I got some breakfast and headed to school. I got my nifty little clinical ID badge, and dropped off my CPR certification. Then the studying began. I don't know what was wrong with me, but I was feeling really on edge and couldn't concentrate on my reading for like an hour or so. It was a struggle, but Jack J helped me mellow out and I got a lot of reading done. I have some more reading to do for Nursing Concepts, and apparently not gonna be doing any reading for Micro because the teacher still hasn't posted our syllabus. Oh well, less for me to do this weekend.

I also tried to watch this interactive DVD, Professor Nightingale's Test Taking Tips....but I didn't get the remote for the TV, and its impossible to get through the dvd without it. So I'll have to go back, maybe after school on Monday or Tuesday. I can only find short samples of it here and there online, and I'm not paying $30 at Barnes and Noble to watch something once.

*Gah* Just checked Blackboard, our teacher JUST posted our course online. So I guess that's what I will be doing on Sunday! Definitely going out for drinks tomorrow and celebrating one last night of freedom with my hubby if I am going to be chained to my books Sunday.

Well, I need to start printing out stuff or Microbiology now that our course is posted on Blackboard, and then Mike will be home so we can go on our weekly grocery shopping date!

Just 3 more days!

Well Ok Then

The person I expected to care atleast just a little bit about me not being at work during the week anymore was seemingly the person who cared the least. Everyone else gave me hugs, and wished me good luck, and one co-worker brought me cake. But hardly there wasn't any real kind of acknowledgement from my boss. I left the parking lot crying today because it would have been nice for her to seem like she cared, even if she had to fake it. Or gosh, even just a "good luck" would have been good enough.

I highly doubt she's going to come in on Saturdays just to say Hi.

Whatever. I need to stop caring about this. I am starting nursing school in 4 days, and this is where my future is, and this will be my main priority now. Maybe that's been my problem, is caring too much about my job and my office, and maybe I would have saved myself a lot of head/heartache if I would have not worried so much about it.

I know I will be fine once school starts and my focus will be 100% school, I won't have time to feel upset about people not missing me.

Anyway, I went and got a manicure after work today. I have been getting these No Chip manicures that are AWESOME. But they are too expensive to maintain now that school is starting, and I can't have them on once clinicals start. And you also can't take them off yourself, thus the manicure today.

More studying tonight if I can calm down, and then tomorrow I have a few things I need to take care of at school, and then MORE studying! But hopefully Mike and I can get out for one night to have a last little hurrah before school officially begins!

THIS!

I get extremely excited watching this!!! This is all, going to bed now!

5 Days!!

And I'm still behind schedule on my reading. Luckily, my Micro teacher still hasn't posted our syllabus so I have no idea what to read for that class, so I have a few hours open now to catch up. I also have Friday to work on some reading, too. I spent way too much time printing powerpoints last night, and I'm not even done. I guess I shouldn't complain too much because I refused to miss the new episode of Teen Mom last night. Gosh, I am so hooked....I am hoping I can manage to forget about Grey's Anatomy on Thursday nights, because otherwise that's a whole hour wasted, too. I think this is why I am not getting all of my reading done the way I want to.

Tonight is my last Wednesday night for a long long time. And tomorrow is my last Thursday for a long long time. Hopefully, I will be able to pick up some extra hours during winter break. And my favorite doctor is working a few Saturdays in September, so I'll get to see her. Oh, and I have a teeth cleaning coming up in October. So I guess it won't be so bad, I'll still get to see my favorite people a little bit here and there.

I do not see finishing my Jen Lancaster book before next week, its just not gonna happen. :(

And Yay, the books I ordered on Amazon will be here today! Luckily Mike is home to accept the delivery! I really need that medical dictionary, because there were a LOT of words that I was completely stumped on when I was reading my Pathophysiology book. A bleb? What the heck is a bleb? Did you mean blob? Because I know what a blob is. Oh, its not a blob, ok.....got it. Do you see how one tiny little work like bleb can throw you completely off?? A medical dictionary will be extremely useful so I actually know what the heck I am reading.

*Sigh* I guess I should get ready for work now, huh?

Etiologic Agents and Morphologic Changes

Huh?

Started reading my Pathophysiology book last night, and didn't get as far as I wanted to. Our reading for the first class starts in Chapter 2, but there was an intro section that was very informative, and Chapter 1 was like Physiology-the Cliff Notes. So I figured it would be a good idea to freshen up on my physiology. So, tonight I will get back at it. So I'm already behind schedule on my studying.....not good.

I am feeling less and less torn about cutting down to just Saturdays at work. I think my coworker has a good handle on the work she'll be doing, and I *think* I have most of my loose ends taken care of. So hopefully, the rest of this week will go by quite smoothly.

8 Days

So today is what I am considering my last "Lazy Sunday" before school starts. I have powerpoints to print, books to read, and video's to watch at Harper's library. I have my game plan all mapped out for this coming week. Patho on Monday, Nursing Concepts on Tuesday, and Microbiology on Thurs if the teacher would please in the name of all that is holy post our course on blackboard already!

I have been a little bummed the past couple of days, because everything about my normal daily routine is about to change. I have to get up earlier to get to school earlier. I won't be able to come home and relax after a long day at school, because my nose will need to be in a book. I can't make any kind of plans to go out beyond next weekend because I have no clue how swamped I am truly going to be. And I know I am crazy, but it feels really weird that I will only be working one day a week. The last 11 years of my life, there's been maybe a year of not working, and that wasn't even one continous year.

So, this weekend is weird for me, because I am feeling the urge to start doing homework, but I know I should relax and enjoy this weekend with Mike as much as I can. And we did go out for drinks last night with Mike's brother and his girlfriend. We had a good time, but I felt bad when I realized I might be the one keeping plans from happening because school will be in session the next time we were thinking about getting together. But I guess I am going to have to get used to this feeling.

Don't get me wrong, I am really excited about starting nursing school. This isn't me getting cold feet, and not wanting to go through with it. I am just scared of the unknown right now. I know this will go away once I get started and get a better feel of what I am truly in for. I am hoping that once I know what's going on, I will be able to find time here and there for SOME type of fun. I am pretty lucky that Mike is so supportive and understanding that life may get really boring for us.

Mike will be in school as well, he's in the middle of his automotive program. He's doing so well, he rebuilt an engine over the last 2 semesters, and he just changed the brakes on my car today. Pretty awesome this guy is. So, he'll be in class a couple of nights out of the week, and will need to study, too....so maybe it won't be so bad. I was worried that he'd feel neglected once nursing school took over my life, but he says he understands. :)

So, I ordered a few books on Amazon yesterday, a medical/nursing dictionary, and a few books to help me study for the NCLEX style tests we will be given. I also got a neat anatomy book at Barnes and Noble yesterday. It is this huge book that charts the different systems of the body, like circulatory, digestive, etc. I figured it would be useful if I needed to review my anatomy from here and there. I think it could also come in handy if I ever need to make any presentations, I could make a copy of the book at Kinko's to use as a visual aid. And it was only $10, so it was a no-brainer for me to get it.

I am also down to my last Jen Lancaster book. Although I am having a hard time getting sucked into because I feel I am starting to go into nursing school study mode.....but I MUST finish this book before school starts!