Rough Day

Yesterday was tough. We had a cardiac exam, hypothyroidism and Diabetes quiz, an Evidence Based Practice paper, and I had over 12 drug cards due since the teacher is my clinical instructor. I studied all weekend, I even got someone to cover me at work on Saturday so I could study more. I slept for only 2 hours Sunday night. Oh, and I had to stay after class to go over rounding with my lab instructor because I didn't round to a whole number for my ml/hour in IV meds.

The test was hard, but I tried not to second guess myself because I was just going to drive myself crazy. I ended up being one point away from a B, which is ok, but just upsetting when you spend so much time studying and all it gets you is a C. Unfortunately, several of my classmates failed the exam, even though I'm sure some of them put in way more time than I did. It's kind of devastating as a nursing student. Any other major like psych or english, or whatever, if you put in a week's worth of studying, you are golden. In nursing, there's no guarantee whatsoever.

But, I can't join the party of hating the instructor and feeling like she is trying to make this class impossible for us, because I do not believe that is the case. I have her for clinical, and yes she is intimidating, but she is encouraging to me and helps guide me into the right direction when I am struggling. I see nothing in her but trying to make us think, and making us better. Cardiac is HARD. And we didn't even cover all that we could have for cardiac. Most of the test wasn't about what the book told you, it was about critical thinking and prioritizing and application. This is what makes a nurse, and it is not easy.

I love my instructor, and while lecture is rough to sit through sometimes, I know she wants us to do well. So I'm not going to join the angry mob of people, I think she is great.

So anyway, as long as I don't fluff up in clinicals, I will be a 3rd semester student. I would have to completely give up as this point not to pass. So, that does take some of the pressure off. This last half of the semester has been rough.

ANYWAY......I am completely looking forward to summer. We have a wedding, Cubs games, shows downtown to see. I am sooooo excited to see Chicago the Musical and Beauty and the Beast. I cannot wait!! I'm just so thankful that we will be getting to do all these fun things, because this school year has been rough! We probably won't be going on a vacation this summer, but that's ok. I want to plan a beachy vacation next summer after I graduate. One where we can relax, drink fruity drinks out of coconuts, and get a nice tan! Plus it will give me something to look forward to as next year is going to be a whole new type of stress!

Alright, I guess I need to get back to being productive.

Time Takes on a Whole New Meaning in Nursing School!

It is amazing how fast time goes by now. I never have enough time. Things that seem like they should be quick, end up taking hours. And hours seem like minutes when you are trying to finish a big assignment. It is kind of scary to think that I am a month away from being done with my first year of nursing school. I almost feel like 2 years is not enough. It is hard to imagine that in a year's time I will be educated enough to be expected to pass my licensing exam and be given patients' lives in my hand. Don't get me wrong, I feel excited to be learning so much, but its humbling to be aware of how much you don't know, and will not know until you have YEARS and YEARS of experience under your belt. In the mean time, I am in my first medical surgical rotation, and its terrifying. My instructor is intimidating, but it is something I am grateful for because she is pushing me to be better already. This rotation is finally teaching us to start putting the pieces together and using our brains to figure out what is best for our patients. It's good to be learning this, but terrifying because it makes you realize how easy it is to misinterpret an assessment of your patient. *SIGH* But things are going well. I don't have time for pettiness, or really anything that doesn't involve studying. But something happened today that is just bugging the hell out of me. We had a test question that was written poorly, and a lot of people got the question wrong even though our book stated 2 of the possible answers one right after the other. I got this question wrong because of the way they teacher intended the question to read. One of my classmates told me she wanted to strangle me because I was "going against" her when I stated both options were right next to each other in the paragraph of reading. I was completely thrown by this. She said this over a large group of us nursing students, too. So it wasn't a private conversation, and she's telling me she wanted to strangle me. Let's get this straight. Even if she hadn't misunderstood me, I am allowed to disagree with whatever I please. I am not the type to AGREE to keep the peace. Also, even if what I said was meant to come off as disagreeing, I was still stating a very true fact that both answers were correct and RIGHT NEXT to each other in the book with no clear distinction of which one would be better. And, I selected the same answer as you, so you should cool it a minute before you start jumping conclusions because you don't have the capacity to listen properly and start telling people you want to strangle them for going against you. Then of course, telling me that you were gossiping about me to our classmates in clinical about wanting to strangle me only seals the deal that I hope you never need my help for anything. I realize that nursing students are no more mature and reasonable people than anyone else when it comes to social interaction that doesn't involve peri-care. I have decided that people who want to be your friend, will be your friend. It shouldn't be difficult, or full of resentment and hurt feelings that you aren't allowed to talk about. And I'll be damned if I''m gonna compromise myself to be part of the cool kids group. It's just not gonna happen.