Overload

I realized today that I somehow managed to not realize I needed to read 4 additional chapters in my fundamentals class.......wonderful.

This week has gone well so far. I am starting to think that trying to study on Mondays, after a full day of class, and working out, would be close to cruel and unusual punishment. I am so exhausted, that there is just no way. Maybe when this extra energy that I am supposed to have from working out starts kicking in, then I'll be able to study. But right now, its just not happening.

Our first test is on Tuesday, and I'm really not looking forward to it. I am expecting trickery and confusion. Luckily, its a holiday weekend, so I have a lot of extra time to study and prepare. We are also having a study group session on Monday, so I'm hoping that helps a lot!

I have found that I like multi-tasking while working out. I got most of the reading done for our dosage calculation. I still need to go back and do the work problems, but the reading itself is pretty much done. This, I am looking forward to. I like it so much more than theory. I am interested so much more in the doing part, than the background mumbo-jumbo. I guess because this was the part that I didn't like about psychology, all the different theories. Show me how to do something, and tell me why I am doing it, I'm good. But I guess its just a necessary evil.

Alright, well I gotta get moving and do some studying tonight!!

I'm a hustler, baby!

So....getting "started" on my Micro reading last night turned into finishing it, and reading one of my chapters for fundamentals, too. I am really happy with how much I got done last night. So today, I just need to finish the 2nd chapter I need to read for fundamentals, and print an obscene number of powerpoint slides, and I am all ready for this next week!

I am hoping that was me finding my stride. I was going to try to finish the 2nd chapter of fundamentals, but I was too tired to absorb it. So I opted for printing some of the powerpoints and doing some assignments we have to turn in this week.

So, I am excited because that means I can enjoy my day with Mike today and relax a little bit.....because starting tomorrow, this girl is ALL business!! Atleast until next weekend. =)

Whew!

I finally got my reading done for Pathophysiology. It took me 3 days. How is that even possible? This chapter was really long, and had some really important stuff in it. However, reading it was a complete snooze fest. Last night, I was reading, and I kept wanting to fall asleep. I finally gave up, because when I could literately pass out while reading the book, its not productive. So I switched to one of the books we have reading in for Nursing Fundamentals, I was wide awake. I have learned that I am no good if I am trying to absorb material while simultaneously passing in and out of awareness. So I need to remember to stop and switch it up when this is happening.

It was much easier to read the last part of the chapter on acid-base balance today after work, and with some Starbucks in my system!!

Speaking of which, it felt really really weird to be at work today. Since I am not there during the week, it kind of feels like I quit. I don't know why, it just does. I quickly got over it, and had a good day. The day went by pretty quickly, and I didn't feel too stressed. Of course, in comparison to the stress that school is going to put me through, I would say that sounds about right. =)

Well, I guess I am on to start either my Microbiology class or more Fundamentals reading as my hubby is delayed in coming home. Fun!

The Sneezing Baby Panda

Distractions and procrastination got the best of me today. Fluids and Electrolytes is not an easy read........its a concept I understand, but I just hate reading it. However, if I must be distracted by something, flipping through each and every single page of my big fat medical dictionary to look at the pictures is still academically related, so its not entirely bad. However, watching this video 5 times probably would not be in the same category:

I thought this was so cute!! How could you not watch it over and over again??

So, I am still disappointed in my productivity today, but like Mike keeps telling me, this is just the first week. I just need to find my stride. Which is so true, once I get into straight study mode, I'll be good. I am also trying to adjust to my schedule change from working most of the week, to class and studying most of the week.

I will wake up early tomorrow instead of sleeping in, and go to the gym as early as I can. That way I can come home and get down to business. I will probably have to study on Saturday or Sunday, too, but that's ok. I need to be thankful that I have that time available to me. I don't even know what I would do if I was working more than Saturdays!!

Multi-Tasking

So, I put it in my schedule to work out this morning. But when I woke up, I was feeling lazy and thought I'd give myself a free day. I was having such a hard time getting myself to get moving. And I didn't feel quite so sore as I was expecting, so I decided to get myself to the gym and just suck it up. I also brought along a handout we received on The Neuman Systems Model, which is what our program is based upon. So I got half way through it in my 45 minutes on the elliptical machine. So that made me feel better that I was able to multi-task, and it made both things go by much faster it seems.

I didn't realize how completely nuts Harper's parking is. It took me forever to find a spot. I knew it was always bad, but maybe it's because I was trying to park in a different section than I normally do. So, Note to Self, don't lolly-gag and wait til 11 to get to the gym, go early in the morning like you were planning!!

All Done!

I had the last class of the week today. Microbiology wasn't as interesting as I was hoping it would be. I was disappointed in my culture, hardly anything grew on it! Everyone else had tons of stuff on theirs! Oh well. At least its over with. I also went to the gym again today, even though I really didn't want to. I have to keep doing it though, only good things will come from it. I am considering incorporating my weight loss (hopefully I will lose, not gain!) in with my posts about school.

Our teacher yesterday said something that definitely struck a chord with me, "Take care of yourself". It's important that I have some balance, and exercise will definitely help contribute to keeping me healthy.....and looking good in scrubs is a definite plus! So while I don't intend this to be a weight loss blog, I think it will be good to celebrate my little victories in getting myself to the gym and seeing some results.

In a sorta related topic, I ordered my scrubs today. I had them custom make a set for me, because I'm one size on top, and another on the bottom. It was way more expensive, but I need to be comfortable and feel like I don't look too horrible in my scrubs. So whatever.

I have the next two days free to get all of my reading and studying done. I really would like to get in some free/fun time with Mike this weekend. So hopefully I can get it done!

Again.....Completely Exhuasted!

Start time today was 8:00, and I was ready to leave the house by 7:20. I thought I had PLENTY of time to run to Starbucks and get back to school in time. Of course, I wasn't including the LONG line of people who would be there, and also the ridiculous traffic going North on Roselle Rd. I didn't want to be late, and tick off the powers that be and make them think I'm horribly irresponsible. Luckily, I got there right on time.

Dr. L was ok, class seemed like it took for-evvvv-errr. But it could have been worse I guess. We also had our orientation to 112/Lab. Barb #2 was nice, and seemed to understand the overload we are getting ourselves into.

And yes, I went to the gym today....finally! It wasn't bad, and the fitness center at school had plenty of machines. I worked out on the elliptical machine for 45 minutes. It felt pretty good.

As a result of my busy day, I am completely pooped again. I had these beautiful plans of studying Monday and Tuesday nights, but it didn't happen this week. Maybe once I get used to the schedule, it will be easier.......but I was just so tired after I got cleaned up and ate dinner. And Annie, one of the cats here, demanded my attention for well over an hour. And I didn't mind, she's a bit of a loner, and it tickles me pink that she has let me pet her since we moved in, and she even purred a little bit for me today, which she rarely does. Something about it just makes me feel good that she thinks I'm ok. Saying she likes me feels like it might be an overstatement without further evidence. lol.

Tomorrow I have to call and order my scrubs for clinicals, evidently my special hips need a specially-made scrub top. I am going to go to the gym in the morning, and then I have Microbiology at 1:00. And luckily its my only class, so I hope to not be so exhausted tomorrow. I also have all day Thursday and Friday to do all of my reading and studying for next week. So I guess I'm forgiving myself a little bit for not doing a whole lot of studying tonight and last night. At least I'm not having to catch up on the reading that was lectured on THIS week.

Well, my hubby is staring at me because he's as tired as I am and he needs his manly sleep. Ha, see, I need my beauty sleep, and he needs his........oh nevermind. I'm a goof.

G'Night!

Completely Exhausted!!

Seriously, the 5:30 wake up calls are going to kill me. I just got home a lil bit ago, and I feel completely wiped out. I don't understand why sitting in a classroom for the whole day is somehow worse than sitting at your desk all day if you were at work.

Cute new shoes I got for school....rubbed my heel raw.....within the first hour I was at school. Not cool at all cute new shoes. But I got some gel heel things, so hopefully this won't happen again!

So, OK.....on to how the day went. It went fine, I got to the library and went all over the place to find the lab manual.....I wish they still had the people who would just get the books for you. So much time was wasted looking for this thing. Anyway, by the time I got all of the things I needed, the line was already backed up.....wonderful. *eye roll* I was really happy I had plenty of time. But then, by the grace of the bookstore gods, they couldn't accept credit cards because the system was done. So they could only run transactions that were cash or check, and by golly, I had my little Hello Kitty checkbook!! It felt good getting to skip up to the front of the line! Oh, and let me also mention that I was sweating like I was in sauna for some reason. Harper apparently keeps the classrooms freezing cold, but lets the hallways be miserable.

1st class was Pathophysiology. The buddies I made from practice lab this summer were there, so we all sat together. Mr. H was nice, and he has a really THICK Boston/NJ/New York accent. I found myself laughing on the inside when certain words were completely pronounced wrong. But he made class more enjoyable, and gave us plenty of breaks, so it wasn't so bad.

Then we had a Welcome Back party for the Student Nurse Association. I got my first T-Shirt, and I'm super excited about it! It was nice to have a free lunch and get to chat. And we all went outside for the rest of our break, and I got to change out of said cute shoes and felt so much better!

Micro lecture was really really boring, but I didn't mind lab so much. We got to take samples to culture bacteria in these petri-dishes. I sampled my hand, and the door knob. So it will be interesting to see what kind of nastiness was on my hands. I have a feeling I am going to like this class, even if it might be more difficult, the labs seem like something right up my alley.

I signed up for the Fitness center at school. Had my bag all ready, and paid my dues, only to be told there is a 24 hour waiting period before you can work out. That sucked....but, at least now, I can go to the library and watch the DVD from the other day, and then go work out after school. So it'll be fine.

So, I'm gonna try this power-nap thing out that everyone talks about so I can have some energy to get through my reading I have to do tonight. *yawn*

Today is the Day!!

5:30 came WAY too early this morning!!

Today, I am officially a full-time student in nursing school. I hope I don't accidentally drive to work instead of school out of habit. And I wish there was a Starbucks between here and school. I will have to live without I guess!

It totally feels like it did when I was little on the first day of school. I was always WAY too excited the night before and couldn't sleep. Then waking up when it was still dark outside, and getting dressed, and getting all my new little school supplies together in my backpack, and putting on my new school shoes......I always loved it!

Obviously, it's a little different, because I feel like I can't move right now until I get my morning coffee. I miss the days where I could stay up late, and get up at 4 in the morning, and be able to function just fine.

We'll see how we feel at the end of the day, I am foreseeing an extremely exhausted girl here!!

As if I'm not crazy enough....

Nursing school is enough of a time commitment, and now I decide that I need to add working out to my schedule. And what better way to start than to sign up for the school's fitness center tomorrow after school? *sigh*

I know this is good for me, and it will give me an hour break from studying each day....I think I can do this. Plus, the cute scrubs only come in the smaller sizes, and I am thinking long-term here people. In two years, my uniform will be entirely scrubs, and I need to feel as cute as I can. And scrubs don't make that easy for anyone, much less us for us bigger girls.

I got my reading for Microbiology done, back-pack is ready. I have already mentally decided what I will wear tomorrow, so I won't spend 20 minutes fighting with myself in front of the closet. I just need to pack a gym bag and I'll be set! Oh, and make up a good mix of songs on my iPod for working out.

Less than 24 hours!

At this time tomorrow, my pretty little behind will be sitting in Pathophysiology. I have all of my powerpoints/class lecture notes and syllabi printed out. I decided to put this week's stuff in one notebook that I will take to class with me this week, and then when this week is over, they get transferred into the big notebooks I bought, and next's weeks powerpoints will go in. Nice system, huh?

The one thing I am totally kicking myself over is I completely forgot about my Micro lab manual. They didn't think to give it to me when I bought my books, and I just completely forgot. And we need it for the first day of Lab, so now I have to get up EXTRA early tomorrow so I can hit the bookstore BEFORE my 8:30 class starts. So I'm really mad at myself for this, because I hate feeling rushed in the morning. It's just the worst way to start your day.

Luckily, they are throwing a little "Welcome Back" lunch party for us Nursing students between classes. I am looking forward to it. They are selling t-shirts, and I am excited to get one of my own. I am also looking forward to meeting more of my fellow nursing classmates. Plus, it is free lunch, so gotta take advantage of that!

Last night, Mike and I went out for dinner. We were gonna go out for drinks, but I wasn't feeling in the mood for some reason. So we got some ice cream to bring home and watch a comedian DVD, Kevin Hart is a pretty funny guy. It was nice to have one last night out with Mike before my life becomes all books and studying. Today, I have to get some reading done for Microbiology. I wish the teacher would have posted our syllabus sooner, because I could have had the reading done already. Oh well, I just can't let the semester start out already being behind. I just can't do it!

Mikey's classes start Tuesday, its gonna be weird not having him home for dinner on Tues and Thurs before he goes to class. But I am happy that he won't have to be out so late anymore like he used to.

Well I need to get moving, and get my studying done so I'm not up super late tonight!

3 is the Magic Number...Yes It is!

Oh Jack Johnson, thank you for all of your help studying today.....wouldn't have been able to do it without you!

I slept in way later than I meant to today, but I was pretty tired and I think trying to study would have been a lot harder if I had gotten up at the original time. But I was really good about getting out of the house as fast I could (which normally takes FOREVER!). I got some breakfast and headed to school. I got my nifty little clinical ID badge, and dropped off my CPR certification. Then the studying began. I don't know what was wrong with me, but I was feeling really on edge and couldn't concentrate on my reading for like an hour or so. It was a struggle, but Jack J helped me mellow out and I got a lot of reading done. I have some more reading to do for Nursing Concepts, and apparently not gonna be doing any reading for Micro because the teacher still hasn't posted our syllabus. Oh well, less for me to do this weekend.

I also tried to watch this interactive DVD, Professor Nightingale's Test Taking Tips....but I didn't get the remote for the TV, and its impossible to get through the dvd without it. So I'll have to go back, maybe after school on Monday or Tuesday. I can only find short samples of it here and there online, and I'm not paying $30 at Barnes and Noble to watch something once.

*Gah* Just checked Blackboard, our teacher JUST posted our course online. So I guess that's what I will be doing on Sunday! Definitely going out for drinks tomorrow and celebrating one last night of freedom with my hubby if I am going to be chained to my books Sunday.

Well, I need to start printing out stuff or Microbiology now that our course is posted on Blackboard, and then Mike will be home so we can go on our weekly grocery shopping date!

Just 3 more days!

Well Ok Then

The person I expected to care atleast just a little bit about me not being at work during the week anymore was seemingly the person who cared the least. Everyone else gave me hugs, and wished me good luck, and one co-worker brought me cake. But hardly there wasn't any real kind of acknowledgement from my boss. I left the parking lot crying today because it would have been nice for her to seem like she cared, even if she had to fake it. Or gosh, even just a "good luck" would have been good enough.

I highly doubt she's going to come in on Saturdays just to say Hi.

Whatever. I need to stop caring about this. I am starting nursing school in 4 days, and this is where my future is, and this will be my main priority now. Maybe that's been my problem, is caring too much about my job and my office, and maybe I would have saved myself a lot of head/heartache if I would have not worried so much about it.

I know I will be fine once school starts and my focus will be 100% school, I won't have time to feel upset about people not missing me.

Anyway, I went and got a manicure after work today. I have been getting these No Chip manicures that are AWESOME. But they are too expensive to maintain now that school is starting, and I can't have them on once clinicals start. And you also can't take them off yourself, thus the manicure today.

More studying tonight if I can calm down, and then tomorrow I have a few things I need to take care of at school, and then MORE studying! But hopefully Mike and I can get out for one night to have a last little hurrah before school officially begins!

THIS!

I get extremely excited watching this!!! This is all, going to bed now!

5 Days!!

And I'm still behind schedule on my reading. Luckily, my Micro teacher still hasn't posted our syllabus so I have no idea what to read for that class, so I have a few hours open now to catch up. I also have Friday to work on some reading, too. I spent way too much time printing powerpoints last night, and I'm not even done. I guess I shouldn't complain too much because I refused to miss the new episode of Teen Mom last night. Gosh, I am so hooked....I am hoping I can manage to forget about Grey's Anatomy on Thursday nights, because otherwise that's a whole hour wasted, too. I think this is why I am not getting all of my reading done the way I want to.

Tonight is my last Wednesday night for a long long time. And tomorrow is my last Thursday for a long long time. Hopefully, I will be able to pick up some extra hours during winter break. And my favorite doctor is working a few Saturdays in September, so I'll get to see her. Oh, and I have a teeth cleaning coming up in October. So I guess it won't be so bad, I'll still get to see my favorite people a little bit here and there.

I do not see finishing my Jen Lancaster book before next week, its just not gonna happen. :(

And Yay, the books I ordered on Amazon will be here today! Luckily Mike is home to accept the delivery! I really need that medical dictionary, because there were a LOT of words that I was completely stumped on when I was reading my Pathophysiology book. A bleb? What the heck is a bleb? Did you mean blob? Because I know what a blob is. Oh, its not a blob, ok.....got it. Do you see how one tiny little work like bleb can throw you completely off?? A medical dictionary will be extremely useful so I actually know what the heck I am reading.

*Sigh* I guess I should get ready for work now, huh?

Etiologic Agents and Morphologic Changes

Huh?

Started reading my Pathophysiology book last night, and didn't get as far as I wanted to. Our reading for the first class starts in Chapter 2, but there was an intro section that was very informative, and Chapter 1 was like Physiology-the Cliff Notes. So I figured it would be a good idea to freshen up on my physiology. So, tonight I will get back at it. So I'm already behind schedule on my studying.....not good.

I am feeling less and less torn about cutting down to just Saturdays at work. I think my coworker has a good handle on the work she'll be doing, and I *think* I have most of my loose ends taken care of. So hopefully, the rest of this week will go by quite smoothly.

8 Days

So today is what I am considering my last "Lazy Sunday" before school starts. I have powerpoints to print, books to read, and video's to watch at Harper's library. I have my game plan all mapped out for this coming week. Patho on Monday, Nursing Concepts on Tuesday, and Microbiology on Thurs if the teacher would please in the name of all that is holy post our course on blackboard already!

I have been a little bummed the past couple of days, because everything about my normal daily routine is about to change. I have to get up earlier to get to school earlier. I won't be able to come home and relax after a long day at school, because my nose will need to be in a book. I can't make any kind of plans to go out beyond next weekend because I have no clue how swamped I am truly going to be. And I know I am crazy, but it feels really weird that I will only be working one day a week. The last 11 years of my life, there's been maybe a year of not working, and that wasn't even one continous year.

So, this weekend is weird for me, because I am feeling the urge to start doing homework, but I know I should relax and enjoy this weekend with Mike as much as I can. And we did go out for drinks last night with Mike's brother and his girlfriend. We had a good time, but I felt bad when I realized I might be the one keeping plans from happening because school will be in session the next time we were thinking about getting together. But I guess I am going to have to get used to this feeling.

Don't get me wrong, I am really excited about starting nursing school. This isn't me getting cold feet, and not wanting to go through with it. I am just scared of the unknown right now. I know this will go away once I get started and get a better feel of what I am truly in for. I am hoping that once I know what's going on, I will be able to find time here and there for SOME type of fun. I am pretty lucky that Mike is so supportive and understanding that life may get really boring for us.

Mike will be in school as well, he's in the middle of his automotive program. He's doing so well, he rebuilt an engine over the last 2 semesters, and he just changed the brakes on my car today. Pretty awesome this guy is. So, he'll be in class a couple of nights out of the week, and will need to study, too....so maybe it won't be so bad. I was worried that he'd feel neglected once nursing school took over my life, but he says he understands. :)

So, I ordered a few books on Amazon yesterday, a medical/nursing dictionary, and a few books to help me study for the NCLEX style tests we will be given. I also got a neat anatomy book at Barnes and Noble yesterday. It is this huge book that charts the different systems of the body, like circulatory, digestive, etc. I figured it would be useful if I needed to review my anatomy from here and there. I think it could also come in handy if I ever need to make any presentations, I could make a copy of the book at Kinko's to use as a visual aid. And it was only $10, so it was a no-brainer for me to get it.

I am also down to my last Jen Lancaster book. Although I am having a hard time getting sucked into because I feel I am starting to go into nursing school study mode.....but I MUST finish this book before school starts!

1 and 2 and 3 and 4.......now breath!!

Yep, I'm now CPR certified for another 2 years. I wasn't looking forward to working 9 to 5, and then having my CPR class from 6 to 10 tonight. Luckily, the instructors went through everything with us pretty quickly because we were all re-certifying, no one was a newbie. However, I seriously doubt the weird guy that sat next to me was re-certifying....because he was getting it all kinds of wrong.

It feels really really weird being a week and half from school starting. Next week....last week of full time work!! There was a girl in the class tonight that had just graduated from Harper, so we had a little bit of nursing school chat. I needs to get me a NCLEX review book, like NOW. I will NOT fail my first nursing test. I know I need to just worry about passing the program, but I don't want to start out failing. I'd rather build up a cushion in case something tough comes up along the way. She mentioned that everyone did poorly on the first test, and another girl I know that just started this past spring said she failed the first test. I just can't bear the thought of failing!!

*sigh*

So.....Friday, Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday. 7 work days left until I'm officially part-time worker, and full-time learner!

13 Days to Go!

Today is the last day of a 5 day weekend from work. I wanted to take this time to spend as much quality time with Mike as I could, but also get some Bear-time to myself. I slept in late this morning, and it feels good to have a day where no one is home and its just me. Days like this don't come as often, which is ok, but when you are used to having them, and they disappear, it takes a lot of getting used to.

I got my shoes ordered for clinicals. I got a pair of Dansko's from the Walking Store. I had a pair of shoes very similar to these when I worked in the bagel bakery, and I was on my feet all day, and I seriously don't remember my feet ever hurting. They are very comfortable shoes, and I am not buying a million different pairs of white shoes over the next 2 years. One pair that is of good quality should last me for the next 2 years.

This week I have my CPR class to re-up my certification for the next two years. The class is from 6-10, and its going to make for a very long long day. Atleast I will have it out of the way. So, other than my physical and shot, and turning in my insurance verification, and paying for my random drug screening, I think I am good. Oh, and buying my scrubs for clinicals, but they are bringing in samples for us, and I'd like to try them on before I order.

I also got school supplies yesterday! I LOVE new school supplies. It is the best part of going back to school!! I got lots of post-it notes, book marker sticky thingys, huge 3 ring binders, dividers, and my standard 5 Star notebook. I am trying my best to think of ways to minimize what I am carting to school with me everyday. I figure I can print power points and keep them in the 3 ring binder, and then on the day of class bring the power point printouts meant for that day in a folder. Then I'll have my notebook to take any additional notes on. So when I get home, I can return the printouts to the binder, and transfer my notes from that day over as well.

I might have to modify my plan, but again, I always feel better having a plan in place. I am hoping to be as productive as I can during the week, so that I can spend more time with Mikey on the weekends. However, the fact that there are tests EVERY OTHER WEEK in pathophysiology is a bit scary, and we have our first test after 2 weeks of class in NUR 110, and I have no idea what's going on in Micro yet, I'm down right terrified of the amount studying I will be doing or the hours of sleep I will be losing.

Oh, and I also got the idea in my head that the lady who was kind of mean to me in the Health Services office because I was getting my TB test done early, MIGHT be my lab instructor this first semester. I seriously couldn't sleep because I was so worried about it. Nursing school is hard enough even with the teachers on your side, but I'm sure its even worse if they don't like you. I am hoping this is a case of my brain working too hard to find things to worry about, because it wasn't really obvious that these women were one in the same. I feel I shouldn't be too worried, because I didn't get crappy with anyone, I wasn't doing anything that I was specifically told not to do, I made an appointment that day, I didn't just walk in and bombard the staff with my arrival, and I know I am not the only one of my classmates that is getting it done before hand. The only thing I am of guilty of is being weird and anal when it comes to getting these pre-nursing school errands done early.

I am deathly afraid of making any of my instructors or future instructors ticked off at me. My basic pharmacology teacher this past summer was awful, her instructions were unclear, she was awful at giving us proper guidance, and she just seemed annoyed that we were confused with her unclear syllabus. I felt very annoyed, and many times did I feel like getting snotty with her, but I didn't because I realize she could at some point be my instructor (she is a nursing instructor but luckily for the LPN program right now that I can see and not the RN program), and I need the teachers to like me as much as possible.....so I kept myself in check.

You always hear horror stories of how nursing instructors berate and humiliate their students, and while I've met most of my teachers, and I don't get the feeling that they would be this way, I recognize it could happen. However, I guess the best defense is to be on top of my game, and try my best to not make any mistakes.

Can time go any slower?

I have been feeling like a raging bitch all week.

*sigh*

Ok, so now that little bit of ugliness is done, let me try to explain. I have 2 weeks of working full time left before school starts. Part of me figured that getting so close would make me care less about the stupid crap that sometimes happens in an office full of completely grown up (or at least should be) adults. Caring less would bring about less stress about said stupid crap.

It doesn't.

I am still bothered when something rude happens, I am still frustrated when there is confusion and not getting answers I need. I guess I will still experience those things from time to time since I'll still be working on Saturdays. So maybe it won't get to me so much because I'll be experiencing it less. I hope.

The best way I can really explain the raging-bitchiness going on inside my head right now is I'm in a weird transition period where nothing is really going on to keep my mind occupied. The little hamster up there likes exercise, and he likes a challenge, and nothing challenging is going on right now. I am transitioning a lot of my responsibilities over to my coworker who is taking over for me at work, and I don't want to start studying too early.

I guess I also feel upset about leaving work. No matter how much of a headache it can give me at times, this has been my family in a way. They have been there with me since getting engaged, getting married, supporting me while I went to school, listen to me vent about a countless number of things. I have enjoyed knowing a good amount of our patients by their names without them having to tell me. It has been challenging mentally at times, but I have loved being there. It upsets me that when I stop being there during the week, that few will really notice, and it won't really change anything. I fear some will be really happy about it, too.

I'm not perfect, and I'm not always the easiest person to get along with sometimes, I know. I am just horribly aware of everything that goes on around me, and don't have the better sense to let things slide. My instincts are pretty spot-on, and I have been stung too many times by trying to ignore them, so I just refuse to do it anymore, and this means I am not an easy person to convince. Thus get along with, especially with people who are as stubborn as I am. I always try to do the right thing, and sometimes my idea of what is right doesn't mesh with other people's ideas of what is right. And if I feel I have been wronged, or someone is being rude, I don't like letting it slide because I just believe it does nothing but encourage that person to keep acting that way. Of course people who act that way often don't see how their own behavior can be offensive, and thus complain that I'M the one being a bitch for no reason. I am always AWARE of my bitchiness, and usually have a reason for it.

However, maybe since I'm getting a change of my full time scenery, these things will go by the way side, and I will get a long better with some of these people. I also feel that by going to school, my intelligence is validated, and I won't feel so vulnerable as the "dumb receptionist". Not that being a receptionist or anything of the like means you are stupid, but people often assume you are because of it. It's actually quite challenging, and most people would rather hide in a cave then deal with a line of people staring at them and five lines ringing at the same time. I just feel like my brain is on auto-drive at work sometimes, and I need more, and I know I am capable of more.

Gosh, getting off topic here!!

I feel sad about not having the same interaction with people at work as much, and I feel sad that some people may be happy I am leaving, or don't even care. I know I will create new connections with my classmates to take place of the ones I will be losing at work, but its just hard for me.

Also, I think I am feeling stressed about starting school, and not being sure how I will manage everything just yet. It makes me so uneasy to not know how to plan. Ask my husband, unclear plans for a night out is enough to make me a raging bitch. So imagine having unclear plans for the next four months. Do the math, its not pretty. A lot of things are contributing to my bitchiness right now. (And I am sorry for my frequent use of bitch, but there is NO other term that will correctly describe my state this week.)

However, my story does come to a better ending. Yesterday, I had the whole day to myself. I woke up, and got out of the house. I got my yummy White Chocolate Mocha (Thank you Starbucks), and got my favorite blueberry bagel and cream cheese from Einstein Brothers (Which is the best bagel place I have found since my days in the bagel bakery of Brueggers--which is WAY better than Einstein's), and went to my favorite nail place and got a mani/pedi. Seriously, the second my feet hit that warm spa tub with the extra-jetty water jets, I just felt my stress melt away. And the massage-chair was just the right amount of massage-y. And Martha Stewart was on the TV making yummy things. It was just what I needed.

After I was done at the nail salon, I went to Borders for some books. I am currently reading Jen Lancaster's books,and I seriously heart the woman. I just finished Such a Pretty Fat, and Bitter is the New Black. She makes me laugh so much, and there is a lot of things she says/does that I have done or could see myself doing. So, I picked up the last two of her books I haven't read yet, Bright Lights..Big Ass, and Pretty in Plaid. I also went to Panera to get my favorite turkey sandwich, the Sierra Turkey.

I get home, house is empty...which is rare. I open my book, then open my sandwich only to find a pig has put on a turkey costume and decided to hide in my sandwich. Sierra Ham....not so good. However, I got almost halfway through Bright Lights, Big Ass in just the afternoon. Mike comes home, and we go out to dinner at TGI Fridays. It was yummmy. Then we walked around Streets of Woodfield for a little bit, and I found a really cute purse that *gasp!!* wasn't Coach! It was actually a Jessica Simpson bag, and I can't wait to carry it. We then met up with Mike's brother Jon and his girlfriend Bethany (she's so nice, I have threatened my brother-in-law that he will lose his annual Santa Cookie basket if he messes it up with her!) to see Dinner for Schmucks. And proceeded to laugh my ass off! Seriously.....its gone! Oh wait, it was never there...hehe. It was really really funny, and it was a perfect way to end my day.

Today, I spent my hubby, we went out for breakfast and went on our weekly grocery date at Target. And checked out a cutesy antique store....My husband is lucky we don't have the space for anymore furniture, because there was SO much I would have gotten. Then I napped the night away. I still have 3 more days off of work, which is really nice. I am really happy I was able to take the time off, so I can get some real relaxation in before school starts, and get in as much time with Mike as I can.

20 Days!

I have 20 days left of freedom until nursing school starts. They haven't posted our courses on Blackboard yet, so I'm not sure exactly how much studying I need to do before class starts. I want to get a head start on my studying. Right now, I'm just enjoying not having a crap load of stuff to do for a change!

This past weekend, I got an Ipod Touch. I kind of had my heart set on getting a blackberry so I could just carry one thing around with me....but the price of it since I'm not at the end of my cell phone contract is crazy. Plus it could increase our phone bill. The Ipod touch was much cheaper, and no contract involved....and it was pretty neat getting to play around with it at the Apple store.

I already found one drug reference that is free, and there are a ton of medical references that you can download. I also already have my class schedule loaded into it. I also MAY have downloaded Tetris for "Stress Management"! :D I'm pretty happy with my decision.

We also had our first Student Nurses Association meeting yesterday. I'm excited to be a part of it. I think it will be a good way to get involved, and also make friends with my fellow nursing students. They need people to be on the board once the current board graduates. I am thinking about it, but I'm also nervous about making any more commitments at this point. But it would look awfully good on a resume!