I am officially switching to nights tomorrow night. It is not going to be easy, and I hope nothing too crazy happens on my first solo shift. I feel as ready as I can be, and what I don't know I'm sure I will learn soon enough.
I have been sick all this week. I only went to my dental office for 15 minutes before leaving on Monday. I was fortunate that it was a slow day, and one of my coworkers was there earlier than usual, so it was ok for me to leave. I came home and slept for 5 hours. Luckily, it only seemed to affect my sinuses, and didn't travel to my throat and lungs like these things normally do. I was still miserable, and fought through it as much as I could. I am finally feeling better, and hope it doesn't flare up again!
WW is going well! I lost 3.8 lbs for a total of 12.2! Not bad for 5 weeks, and certainly made up for the small gain I had. I am starting to see a physical change, like my coat isn't as snug as it usually is, and my sweaters sit a little nicer. It's not a huge change, but it is still nice to see. I just hope my switching to nights doesn't halt my progress. I can't snack all night in an attempt to keep myself awake. I just need to find a rhythm that works on keeping in line.
I have been a horrible slacker with school, so I need to get crackin' on that! It's easy to put it off when it isn't due on a weekly basis. Ugh.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Sunday, February 17, 2013
First Week as a Nurse
My first week of training has gone very well. The residents, the coworkers, the everything..has been very kind to me. I tend to have a hard time trusting my gut, but it usually screams at me when something doesn't feel right.....and it has been pretty quiet this week. Which is a good thing. Are there aspects of my job that make me nervous? Yes, but overall, I don't get a bad feeling at all. I hope it isn't just my excitement over finally having a job that I am blindly in love. But for now, I do get a sense that this is going to be good, and that getting my first year of experience here won't hurt so bad like I feared.
I didn't go without making mistakes. The narcotic reconciliation is extremely overwhelming because the other nurses know the residents and medications so well, they fly through it. So, not to excuse myself, I don't feel I got a very good lesson and was rushed through it. And now I know the CNII meds need to be double locked, and to not put blister packs in the notebook as an attempt to make sure you are signing everything out, and then forget to take them out of the book and into the locked med cart. Do not open medication packs by sink with the water running, medication will for sure go there instead of the medication cup you were aiming for. Do not rush through things, accuracy over efficiency.
I was otherwise elated to get back to being a nurse, and getting to give medications without having someone hovering over me. To see that my assessment skills came back to me despite the months of not being able to assess anyone. I got to see what happens when someone falls, or when they need to be sent to the hospital because of a change in their vitals. I was almost in tears when I got my badge that said "Nurse" on it. I still have to stare at it because it hasn't completely sunk in that I'm actually a practicing nurse. It just doesn't feel real yet, but I'm ecstatic none the less.
My coworkers are awesome. They all seem to help each other, and most of them are around my age (or at least look it! :D ) My manager is really nice, and while she is down to business about certain things, she is otherwise laid back, and easy to talk to about silly things. She gave me a heart attack on my birthday. I was pulling a patient's medications from the med cart, and she called for me, so I poked my head into the office. She said she had spoke to corporate, and they weren't sure about adding night shift for nursing. I was panicking in my head "I just gave up my full time job!!" "What do I do" "Fuck Fuck Fuck!!!" On the outside, I was just blank, I didn't know what to say. Then she said "Just kidding!! Happy Birthday" and pulled out one of those giant frosted cookies from under her desk. I was relieved that it was just a joke! I thought it was very kind of her to do something for my birthday even though this was my first week.
I also got a bracelet from my mom with a "Nurse" charm on it, and a subscription to Scrubs, which is a nurse magazine. And my favorite doctor at the dental office, Dr. Twin Mama, gave me a sweet card and a Starbucks giftcard for my "new late nights". I am happy that I will still be able to do a day at the dental office, because I would really miss working there, even though I can't be a nurse there.
Oh, and I also got goosed. By a little old dirty lady. Who would have guessed the first time my butt would have been violated, it would be by a female, and not some pervy man patient/resident. Apparently this is just her thing, and I really couldn't be too offended. But I will make sure to not turn my back to this woman again!
My birthday was far more awesome than I could have expected. All I really wanted was to go to Wildfire for dinner and a sewing machine so I can learn to sew. And Mike really went all out! I came home on Tuesday to flowers, and an awesome little Valentine's/Birthday display he set up on our side table in the kitchen. He made cupcakes with little lips and mustaches on them, and got my favorite starburst jelly beans, and little V-Day decorations. And he was too excited to let me wait to open my presents. On top of the sewing machine, he got me tickets to see Beyonce this summer! I thought they had sold out! And how he told me was with a little envelope that had this picture inside:
I couldn't stop laughing. I don't think there was any better way for him to have told me he got them for me. Except for him putting on a black leotard and heels and doing the single ladies dance for me. lol He also got me a cake from Jarosch's, which was the same flavor as our wedding cake, and it was yummy. And Wildfire was delicious as always! We had to cancel some of the plans for my birthday because of my work schedule, but my hubby made my birthday special regardless. I also got a really cute text from my Dad-in-law, who is just entering the world of texting. It was the most formal text I have ever received, and it made me smile.
And speaking of Wildire and cake, I did gain a bit this week because of the over abundance of cake, cupcakes, cookies, etc. I didn't track at all on my birthday because I wanted to enjoy it and not feel guilty. Of course, I could feel the silent shame from the lady who weighed me in on Saturday. Then silenced it with Richard Walker's French Toast. It is my birthday week, and only gaining 0.6 pounds is not bad at all considering all that I ate.
We have found some yummy recipes this past week that make Weight Watchers not so bad. I feel like a grown up now that red wine vinegar and white cooking wine is in our pantry. And we even bought meat from the meat counter instead of the pre-packaged stuff. I know this may in fact be sad given that I just turned 29, and Mike will be 31 in July....but regardless, we are making up for lost adultness. lol
I also felt like an adult electing my benefits. I haven't had benefits like this since I worked at Big Box Do-It-Yourself store. At the dental office, the benefits were simply vacation time, and health insurance that I couldn't afford, and 401k. And I haven't even had access to that the least 2 years or so. I was a bit overwhelmed. Luckily, Mike is familiar with this stuff since he has taken care of most of our coverage through his employer. It is nice to know that if something were to happen to me, he would be taken care of, or I'd have income coming in if I get sick and can't work. Of course, now I just have to make sure he doesn't kill me since I'll be one profitable dead body. lol
This next week is a bit more crazy. I am at the dental office tomorrow, nurse work Tuesday and Wednesday, Medication class ALL DAY on Thursday, nurse work on Friday, and then dental office on Saturday. Then I start my nights on Monday. I don't know what I am going to do in the daytime on Monday. I may need to take a sleeping pill or something to sleep through the day, or drink a LOT of caffeine in the evening. I also got pink ear plugs and a Hello Kitty sleeping mask to help me sleep through the day. It is going to be hard adjusting to this change in my sleep schedule. But, on the upside, I will have a pretty regular schedule from what I have seen. I will be on 3 nights, off 2, on 2 nights, off 2. So it won't be like I'm working one night, off the next night, then back on the next one after that, or -hopefully- not have a constantly changing schedule. I realize the potential where I may be asked to fill in for someone, or to work a double. Which I actually don't mind as long as I'm not doing it all the time.
So to wrap it all up, I am a pretty happy girl, and finally getting to do what makes me happy. I've said this before, and I'm sure I'll say it again many more times, but helping people is the best thing a person can do. Caring for others has been all I ever wanted to do since I was little, and I feel like this is my "When I grow up..." point in my life. I am so incredibly thankful that I was able to pull this off, and make this dream come true. 7 years ago, I thought I was never going to be able to do it, because of money and time constraints. But luckily, I have people around me who were generous enough to help me make this happen, worked shifts for me so I could go to class, or study, let me move into their home so money wasn't an issue, and cheered me on as I succeeded, and cheered me up when I struggled. I am just beyond blessed.
I didn't go without making mistakes. The narcotic reconciliation is extremely overwhelming because the other nurses know the residents and medications so well, they fly through it. So, not to excuse myself, I don't feel I got a very good lesson and was rushed through it. And now I know the CNII meds need to be double locked, and to not put blister packs in the notebook as an attempt to make sure you are signing everything out, and then forget to take them out of the book and into the locked med cart. Do not open medication packs by sink with the water running, medication will for sure go there instead of the medication cup you were aiming for. Do not rush through things, accuracy over efficiency.
I was otherwise elated to get back to being a nurse, and getting to give medications without having someone hovering over me. To see that my assessment skills came back to me despite the months of not being able to assess anyone. I got to see what happens when someone falls, or when they need to be sent to the hospital because of a change in their vitals. I was almost in tears when I got my badge that said "Nurse" on it. I still have to stare at it because it hasn't completely sunk in that I'm actually a practicing nurse. It just doesn't feel real yet, but I'm ecstatic none the less.
My coworkers are awesome. They all seem to help each other, and most of them are around my age (or at least look it! :D ) My manager is really nice, and while she is down to business about certain things, she is otherwise laid back, and easy to talk to about silly things. She gave me a heart attack on my birthday. I was pulling a patient's medications from the med cart, and she called for me, so I poked my head into the office. She said she had spoke to corporate, and they weren't sure about adding night shift for nursing. I was panicking in my head "I just gave up my full time job!!" "What do I do" "Fuck Fuck Fuck!!!" On the outside, I was just blank, I didn't know what to say. Then she said "Just kidding!! Happy Birthday" and pulled out one of those giant frosted cookies from under her desk. I was relieved that it was just a joke! I thought it was very kind of her to do something for my birthday even though this was my first week.
I also got a bracelet from my mom with a "Nurse" charm on it, and a subscription to Scrubs, which is a nurse magazine. And my favorite doctor at the dental office, Dr. Twin Mama, gave me a sweet card and a Starbucks giftcard for my "new late nights". I am happy that I will still be able to do a day at the dental office, because I would really miss working there, even though I can't be a nurse there.
Oh, and I also got goosed. By a little old dirty lady. Who would have guessed the first time my butt would have been violated, it would be by a female, and not some pervy man patient/resident. Apparently this is just her thing, and I really couldn't be too offended. But I will make sure to not turn my back to this woman again!
My birthday was far more awesome than I could have expected. All I really wanted was to go to Wildfire for dinner and a sewing machine so I can learn to sew. And Mike really went all out! I came home on Tuesday to flowers, and an awesome little Valentine's/Birthday display he set up on our side table in the kitchen. He made cupcakes with little lips and mustaches on them, and got my favorite starburst jelly beans, and little V-Day decorations. And he was too excited to let me wait to open my presents. On top of the sewing machine, he got me tickets to see Beyonce this summer! I thought they had sold out! And how he told me was with a little envelope that had this picture inside:
I couldn't stop laughing. I don't think there was any better way for him to have told me he got them for me. Except for him putting on a black leotard and heels and doing the single ladies dance for me. lol He also got me a cake from Jarosch's, which was the same flavor as our wedding cake, and it was yummy. And Wildfire was delicious as always! We had to cancel some of the plans for my birthday because of my work schedule, but my hubby made my birthday special regardless. I also got a really cute text from my Dad-in-law, who is just entering the world of texting. It was the most formal text I have ever received, and it made me smile.
And speaking of Wildire and cake, I did gain a bit this week because of the over abundance of cake, cupcakes, cookies, etc. I didn't track at all on my birthday because I wanted to enjoy it and not feel guilty. Of course, I could feel the silent shame from the lady who weighed me in on Saturday. Then silenced it with Richard Walker's French Toast. It is my birthday week, and only gaining 0.6 pounds is not bad at all considering all that I ate.
We have found some yummy recipes this past week that make Weight Watchers not so bad. I feel like a grown up now that red wine vinegar and white cooking wine is in our pantry. And we even bought meat from the meat counter instead of the pre-packaged stuff. I know this may in fact be sad given that I just turned 29, and Mike will be 31 in July....but regardless, we are making up for lost adultness. lol
I also felt like an adult electing my benefits. I haven't had benefits like this since I worked at Big Box Do-It-Yourself store. At the dental office, the benefits were simply vacation time, and health insurance that I couldn't afford, and 401k. And I haven't even had access to that the least 2 years or so. I was a bit overwhelmed. Luckily, Mike is familiar with this stuff since he has taken care of most of our coverage through his employer. It is nice to know that if something were to happen to me, he would be taken care of, or I'd have income coming in if I get sick and can't work. Of course, now I just have to make sure he doesn't kill me since I'll be one profitable dead body. lol
This next week is a bit more crazy. I am at the dental office tomorrow, nurse work Tuesday and Wednesday, Medication class ALL DAY on Thursday, nurse work on Friday, and then dental office on Saturday. Then I start my nights on Monday. I don't know what I am going to do in the daytime on Monday. I may need to take a sleeping pill or something to sleep through the day, or drink a LOT of caffeine in the evening. I also got pink ear plugs and a Hello Kitty sleeping mask to help me sleep through the day. It is going to be hard adjusting to this change in my sleep schedule. But, on the upside, I will have a pretty regular schedule from what I have seen. I will be on 3 nights, off 2, on 2 nights, off 2. So it won't be like I'm working one night, off the next night, then back on the next one after that, or -hopefully- not have a constantly changing schedule. I realize the potential where I may be asked to fill in for someone, or to work a double. Which I actually don't mind as long as I'm not doing it all the time.
So to wrap it all up, I am a pretty happy girl, and finally getting to do what makes me happy. I've said this before, and I'm sure I'll say it again many more times, but helping people is the best thing a person can do. Caring for others has been all I ever wanted to do since I was little, and I feel like this is my "When I grow up..." point in my life. I am so incredibly thankful that I was able to pull this off, and make this dream come true. 7 years ago, I thought I was never going to be able to do it, because of money and time constraints. But luckily, I have people around me who were generous enough to help me make this happen, worked shifts for me so I could go to class, or study, let me move into their home so money wasn't an issue, and cheered me on as I succeeded, and cheered me up when I struggled. I am just beyond blessed.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
I Snagged My First Job!
I got the job! Oh, how great it feels to be able to say that. Graduated May 20, Passed NCLEX June 27, Got my license July 27, 6 months of job searching, 6 interviews with 4 places, and I officially have a job! I will start in a little over a week, and I am just beyond excited. I will be working overnight, but I will be full-time with wonderful, beautiful benefits. I haven't benefits in forever due to only working a day or two a week for the last 2 years. My job now is pretty limited in the benefits it offers, and because I haven't been back for a full year, I don't get vacation time. So, I am extremely happy to have access to sick time and vacation time, and my own dental, vision, and medical benefits even if I don't end up using them since we have Mike's. Oh! Best part is tuition reimbursement. My class I am currently in won't qualify, but it will certainly help once I start my Bachelor level nursing coursework!
My new work is a beautiful facility. My manager seems amazingly nice. I am so happy that this is my first opportunity. I am beyond thankful to have been given a chance. I know this will not be easy to get used to working overnight, but I will still get to have dinner with Mike either way, and I'll get through it.
Weight Watchers is still going well. My weigh-in today was underwhelming, I only lost 0.6 lbs. I know a loss is a loss, and better than gaining. I did go out to eat a few times, and ate some things where I really could do nothing but guess on the points. I feel like I could have been more honest, and should have gone to the gym to offset the high point days I had. So, I tracked every single thing I put in my mouth today, and planned my meals for the next two days and already tracked them. I also went to the gym today for an hour, and will do the same tomorrow and Monday to make up for the pizza we are ordering for the Super Bowl.
But on the upside, we have tried some really great recipes that I found on Pinterest. There are certain things that I just can't do, like cauliflower mashed "potatoes", or fat free dairy products. Fat free yogurt is just disgusting, I don't care how decadent sounding you make the flavor, it still tastes like crap. I'd rather make the points room for the real deal. I feel like making myself wait to a specific time before I eat my next snack at work is working out really well. I just have to keep looking for new things to add to my rotations so I don't get tired, and grab a bunch of cookies.
I feel that I am doing this. I know this is really early on, and the temptation to quit has not really hit me yet. I am sure I will struggle with that at some point. The disappointment at how long this is going to take, the frustration of not losing as much as I think I should, the loose, saggy skin telling me I looked better when it was filled out with fat. So, when all those nasty thoughts finally make their appearance, I just need to remind myself why I am doing this. Not have to take blood pressure medications, not develop diabetes, hopefully get healthy enough to have a baby without medical intervention, finally get to wear clothes from somewhere other than Torrid, Lane Bryant, and Old Navy, to not hold myself back from doing certain things because of my weight (like go to a fitness class like yoga, get on a rollercoaster again, etc), to NOT have to ask for a seatbelt extender when we fly, to NOT have my weight be the blame for every medical problem I develop, to have my baby bump be visible when I do get pregnant. To not let my children grow up thinking its normal to be overweight like I did. To look cute in scrubs when the day comes when I am required to wear them.
The reasons go on and on. I can't describe just how badly I want this, but have felt like it was hopeless. I have actually been able to maintain a pretty steady weight the past few years, despite my stress eating and massive starbucks consumption through school. Plus I love sweets. LOVE. But I am finding that I am learning to control that. I still indulge, but once a week is my goal. Weight Watchers sells these amazing toffee crunch ice cream bars that I depend on to get my sweet fix each night. I regularly eat 2 of them, but I make do if I only points left for 1. They are delicious!
Anyway, I am hoping to be down 100 lbs in a year. Then 50 lbs the next year, unless we start having the babies, of course. But to lose the 100 lbs would be more than amazing for me.
So....school, I've been a bad student. I remembered that I had until February 22 to finish this segment of work, so I have put it off. But I am going to get back on track tomorrow. Then we are going to watch the Super Bowl. I am actually pretty excited for the half-time show, I love me some Beyonce!! I hope the commercials are good, too!
My new work is a beautiful facility. My manager seems amazingly nice. I am so happy that this is my first opportunity. I am beyond thankful to have been given a chance. I know this will not be easy to get used to working overnight, but I will still get to have dinner with Mike either way, and I'll get through it.
Weight Watchers is still going well. My weigh-in today was underwhelming, I only lost 0.6 lbs. I know a loss is a loss, and better than gaining. I did go out to eat a few times, and ate some things where I really could do nothing but guess on the points. I feel like I could have been more honest, and should have gone to the gym to offset the high point days I had. So, I tracked every single thing I put in my mouth today, and planned my meals for the next two days and already tracked them. I also went to the gym today for an hour, and will do the same tomorrow and Monday to make up for the pizza we are ordering for the Super Bowl.
But on the upside, we have tried some really great recipes that I found on Pinterest. There are certain things that I just can't do, like cauliflower mashed "potatoes", or fat free dairy products. Fat free yogurt is just disgusting, I don't care how decadent sounding you make the flavor, it still tastes like crap. I'd rather make the points room for the real deal. I feel like making myself wait to a specific time before I eat my next snack at work is working out really well. I just have to keep looking for new things to add to my rotations so I don't get tired, and grab a bunch of cookies.
I feel that I am doing this. I know this is really early on, and the temptation to quit has not really hit me yet. I am sure I will struggle with that at some point. The disappointment at how long this is going to take, the frustration of not losing as much as I think I should, the loose, saggy skin telling me I looked better when it was filled out with fat. So, when all those nasty thoughts finally make their appearance, I just need to remind myself why I am doing this. Not have to take blood pressure medications, not develop diabetes, hopefully get healthy enough to have a baby without medical intervention, finally get to wear clothes from somewhere other than Torrid, Lane Bryant, and Old Navy, to not hold myself back from doing certain things because of my weight (like go to a fitness class like yoga, get on a rollercoaster again, etc), to NOT have to ask for a seatbelt extender when we fly, to NOT have my weight be the blame for every medical problem I develop, to have my baby bump be visible when I do get pregnant. To not let my children grow up thinking its normal to be overweight like I did. To look cute in scrubs when the day comes when I am required to wear them.
The reasons go on and on. I can't describe just how badly I want this, but have felt like it was hopeless. I have actually been able to maintain a pretty steady weight the past few years, despite my stress eating and massive starbucks consumption through school. Plus I love sweets. LOVE. But I am finding that I am learning to control that. I still indulge, but once a week is my goal. Weight Watchers sells these amazing toffee crunch ice cream bars that I depend on to get my sweet fix each night. I regularly eat 2 of them, but I make do if I only points left for 1. They are delicious!
Anyway, I am hoping to be down 100 lbs in a year. Then 50 lbs the next year, unless we start having the babies, of course. But to lose the 100 lbs would be more than amazing for me.
So....school, I've been a bad student. I remembered that I had until February 22 to finish this segment of work, so I have put it off. But I am going to get back on track tomorrow. Then we are going to watch the Super Bowl. I am actually pretty excited for the half-time show, I love me some Beyonce!! I hope the commercials are good, too!
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