I got the job! Oh, how great it feels to be able to say that. Graduated May 20, Passed NCLEX June 27, Got my license July 27, 6 months of job searching, 6 interviews with 4 places, and I officially have a job! I will start in a little over a week, and I am just beyond excited. I will be working overnight, but I will be full-time with wonderful, beautiful benefits. I haven't benefits in forever due to only working a day or two a week for the last 2 years. My job now is pretty limited in the benefits it offers, and because I haven't been back for a full year, I don't get vacation time. So, I am extremely happy to have access to sick time and vacation time, and my own dental, vision, and medical benefits even if I don't end up using them since we have Mike's. Oh! Best part is tuition reimbursement. My class I am currently in won't qualify, but it will certainly help once I start my Bachelor level nursing coursework!
My new work is a beautiful facility. My manager seems amazingly nice. I am so happy that this is my first opportunity. I am beyond thankful to have been given a chance. I know this will not be easy to get used to working overnight, but I will still get to have dinner with Mike either way, and I'll get through it.
Weight Watchers is still going well. My weigh-in today was underwhelming, I only lost 0.6 lbs. I know a loss is a loss, and better than gaining. I did go out to eat a few times, and ate some things where I really could do nothing but guess on the points. I feel like I could have been more honest, and should have gone to the gym to offset the high point days I had. So, I tracked every single thing I put in my mouth today, and planned my meals for the next two days and already tracked them. I also went to the gym today for an hour, and will do the same tomorrow and Monday to make up for the pizza we are ordering for the Super Bowl.
But on the upside, we have tried some really great recipes that I found on Pinterest. There are certain things that I just can't do, like cauliflower mashed "potatoes", or fat free dairy products. Fat free yogurt is just disgusting, I don't care how decadent sounding you make the flavor, it still tastes like crap. I'd rather make the points room for the real deal. I feel like making myself wait to a specific time before I eat my next snack at work is working out really well. I just have to keep looking for new things to add to my rotations so I don't get tired, and grab a bunch of cookies.
I feel that I am doing this. I know this is really early on, and the temptation to quit has not really hit me yet. I am sure I will struggle with that at some point. The disappointment at how long this is going to take, the frustration of not losing as much as I think I should, the loose, saggy skin telling me I looked better when it was filled out with fat. So, when all those nasty thoughts finally make their appearance, I just need to remind myself why I am doing this. Not have to take blood pressure medications, not develop diabetes, hopefully get healthy enough to have a baby without medical intervention, finally get to wear clothes from somewhere other than Torrid, Lane Bryant, and Old Navy, to not hold myself back from doing certain things because of my weight (like go to a fitness class like yoga, get on a rollercoaster again, etc), to NOT have to ask for a seatbelt extender when we fly, to NOT have my weight be the blame for every medical problem I develop, to have my baby bump be visible when I do get pregnant. To not let my children grow up thinking its normal to be overweight like I did. To look cute in scrubs when the day comes when I am required to wear them.
The reasons go on and on. I can't describe just how badly I want this, but have felt like it was hopeless. I have actually been able to maintain a pretty steady weight the past few years, despite my stress eating and massive starbucks consumption through school. Plus I love sweets. LOVE. But I am finding that I am learning to control that. I still indulge, but once a week is my goal. Weight Watchers sells these amazing toffee crunch ice cream bars that I depend on to get my sweet fix each night. I regularly eat 2 of them, but I make do if I only points left for 1. They are delicious!
Anyway, I am hoping to be down 100 lbs in a year. Then 50 lbs the next year, unless we start having the babies, of course. But to lose the 100 lbs would be more than amazing for me.
So....school, I've been a bad student. I remembered that I had until February 22 to finish this segment of work, so I have put it off. But I am going to get back on track tomorrow. Then we are going to watch the Super Bowl. I am actually pretty excited for the half-time show, I love me some Beyonce!! I hope the commercials are good, too!
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