I Passed!!!

As official it gets for now!!! I am so relieved, and I am so thankful to have had so many supporting me as I went through this!! My husband, most importantly, for dealing with my crazy panic attacks, and my in-laws for helping us make this possible! And my parents, of course, for giving me my brain!

I am a nurse!!!!

Pearson Vue Trick

So.

I took my boards today.

I had about 20 days to study, and I put in an effort to study for about 4 days.  I did not study ever disease process, or every medication there is, or obsess over my notes from the last two years.  I did about 800 practice questions.  I did a little bit of reviewing here and there.  But that was the extent of my prep.  I wanted to reschedule soooo bad.  I just couldn't shake this feeling that I was screwing myself over by not studying more.  I should have been takng this more seriously.  $400 is no laughing matter, and having to pay even half of that again if I had to retake the exam was making me cringe.   But, I didn't reschedule.  I had some reassurance from a friend that my scores on my practice exams meant I was ready.

I had dreams that I had already taken it and had forgotten.  Then I had a dream that I didn't print my Authorization to Test, and missed my test time because I was trying to find a printer that worked.  I took a few days off of work so I could study and then relax prior to the big test time.  My husband and I went to breakfast this morning so I had some brain food.  I got really anxious as I was preparing to leave.  Again, some reassurance from Mike and my friend S. helped calm my nerves, plus some help from my friend Mr. Xanax.

It wasn't quite what I was expecting when I got there.  I thought there would be a bunch of us waiting, and that we would start the test all at the same time.  But no, you get a number, some some rules, get your fingerprints and palms scanned and then they take you in.

The test itself wasn't completely awful.  I had a ton of Select All That Apply.  But I felt the same way as I did when I took my HESI, I may have had no clue at all about what medication or condition they were questioning me on, but I did my best and otherwise just simply guessed if I had to.  I got cut off at 75 questions, and I was relieved that it was over.  One of my friends from school got there right after me, and we were talking before, and I was just resolved that if I fail, I fail.  So, I wasn't freaking out that I failed, I just wanted the pain of having this hanging over my head to be over.  So as soon as I got to my car, I tried to reschedule another test date.  I was freaking out because it was asking me all the same questions as I it did when I first registered, and the next screen was going to ask me for my credit card info.  But then I got a sweet little pop up telling me I couldn't schedule another test date at this time.

I have to find a single post online or talk to a single person who got this pop up and failed.  So, of course, I have barred hubby from saying anything on Facebook, and I'm not openly advertising my pop up, but I have shared with some key people in my life.  I will get the unofficial quick results on Friday, and after that I will officially feel relieved and feel comfortable talking about it.  But otherwise, I cried the whole way home, and cried in my hubby's arms as I processed this information.  This has been 3 years of my life, from my CNA class, pre-requisites, nursing classes, clinicals.  3 years of doing nothing but studying, and being under constant stress and pressure.  3 years of this, and this one super expensive test determines whether I can put any of it to use or not, and I have seemingly passed it.  It took me about an hour to get out of sob mode.  There just aren't any words that can fully describe this feeling.

So, now I can focus on life again.  Hubby's birthday is this weekend, we move into our new place in less than 2 weeks now.  I can read a book that doesn't involve bowel patterns and electrolytes.  I will resume my job search after we move and get settled in.  But I feel more confident now in looking for jobs because my license will be on its way soon!

Life certainly is never perfect, but it feels pretty good at this moment.

Scheduled to Test!

I have never in my life gotten nauseous so instantaneously.  I got my ATT (Authorizaton to Test) today.  So, I went to see what dates were available, and June 27 (20 days to study), July 11 (more study time, but the day we were going to start moving into our new apartment), or Late July (TONS of time to study, but super far away and I want to get it over with).  One of my friends from school convinced to take the June 27th day, and I am freaking out. I just can't explain how truly terrifying it is to take a test that costs almost $400 and is the one thing left to do so that I am an official, legal and licensed RN.  I just don't want to mess it up, and I'm scared to death of failing.

So, for the next 20 days, I will be working, eating, sleeping, and studying.  Nothing else!

Aside from this development, we just got back from Nashville!  We had a really good time visiting with my family.  We ate lots of good food, like enough Waffle House to last us for a while.  The weather was absolutely perfect the whole time.  Our sleeping got off of track because we were up with my family til midnight pretty much every night.  But luckily I was able to sleep in today since I am working 3-11 at the hospital.  I was happy that Mike got to spend time bonding with my dad while working on his boat.  There were some stressful spots, but for the most part, we had a great time and it made me miss Nashville alot!

Job Search Underway

I have the OK from my references, and finally bit the bullet and completed my application for a few jobs.  I will go full-steam ahead once we get back from Nashville.  Hopefully by the time I come back, I will be able to schedule for my NCLEX and feel the pressure to start studying.  I hate job applications, they take SOOOOOOO long to fill out. 

Now its time to sleep, then breakfast, last minute errands and packing to do tomorrow!