Maybe I am Impatient

But 6 days post-interview now, and no call for a follow up interview.  I wrote my thank you card, and I'm moving on.  If they call, great, if not, I expected that.  Every rejection e-mail I get feels like hate mail filled with nasty insults and digital punches in the face, and then laughing at me like the bully-kid on the Simpsons.  I know a position will come my way, but the process of getting to it is really doing a number on me.  On one hand, I need a mental break from this stream of constant rejection, but then if I give myself that break, am I missing out on possible opportunities?  It is just so overwhelming and consuming to feel like I must be obsessed with checking application statuses, checking job posting sites for new positions, and seeing if my job search e-mail maybe has a surprise e-mail that didn't get sent to my phone for some reason (which never happens).  I just didn't think that I'd be at this point where I have literally applied for every job that I am qualified for or on the brink of qualifying for that I have found at this point (current count as of today: 94), and still have gotten no where.

 My mom told me that I should strive to get 100 No's as a way of not getting so upset over the rejections, but looking at them as something that is helping me reach a goal.  Honestly, when she first said that, I said in my mind "Yeah right, there is no way I will get to that number without getting SOMETHING!", and well here I am.  I just want to feel like I can focus on just having a normal life, where you go to work, and come home and relax or spend time with my hubby.  I want to be consumed by something else other than this job search.  I have given up 3 years of my life to reaching this point in my life of being a nurse, and I feel like I'll reach 4 years by the time I finally get a position.

*sigh*

There are good things happening in our life, and I need to remember that.  I feel like our place is finally starting to really feel like home.  I have been pretty indecisive about decorating, but I do feel it has worked out in my advantage because I have found some pieces that I could have easily paid two or three times MORE than what I did pay for it had I just purchased the first thing I found.  And I am very pleased with the progress we have made with decorating.  Our 2nd bedroom still plagues me, but besides a couple of projects I want to do, the rest of the house is pretty much the way I want it.

Hopefully exciting things happening with Mike's job.  Planning our trip for Christmas, and thinking about possible places to go for our 5th Anniversary in May.  Mike finishing his program at school this December.  And me going back to school hopefully in January to get started on finishing my Bachelors degree.  This is what I need to keep in the back of my head when I get the job search blues, because life is actually pretty darn good.