I am pooped today. A coworker lost a loved one unexpectedly last weekend, so we all pitched in to cover her shifts because she needed to leave the country. I worked 2 shifts yesterday, then had to get up bright and early for another morning shift today. It resulted in a nearly 4 hour nap this afternoon when I got home. I wouldn't be opposed to working doubles in the future, but not all the time. It's exhausting.
Work has been frustrating this week for other reasons. I can't concern myself with making sure every single medication is in good supply for every resident, but if I know something is running low, I re-order it or call the pharmacy to make sure they are going to deliver it the next day. If someone doesn't get their multivitamin for one day, it isn't the end of the world. However, Coumadin and insulin must always be in supply. I had a shift where several residents had zero remaining pills for their Coumadin. All of our residents get their Coumadin in the evening, so by the time I see them, it's pretty much too late to get the pharmacy to deliver it to us before the residents go to bed, even on a rush order. It's frustrating. Not to say I never forget to reorder things, but when a bottle is empty, I don't just leave it and sleep like a babe that night. I am only responsible for what happens on my shift, but teamwork is crucial. I would have been happy with a note saying "hey, these people are out, I couldn't call to verify if they are being delivered", so I can call and fix things before I start my med pass so I can get it delivered in time. I was so upset with the situation, but I vented and moved on.
Nursing tells you a lot about human behavior, the good and the bad. The coworkers who help you, the ones who would happily let you drown. The residents/patients who are thankful for what you do for them, and the ones who think you are there simply to serve them. The great family members who are involved, the ones too-involved and bitch every time their loved one so much as sneezes, or the ones who are non-existent. The good experiences make up for all of the bad ones by far, but some of the bad ones just are hard to shake sometimes.
For example, one resident loves to point out my weight to me. I think they have trouble believing I'm married because obviously, fat girls are unable to land a man. Duh! I try to let their rude questioning get to me, but they went much farther this week. I have tried so hard to make a connection with this one, try to get them to talk, smile, laugh. I've been sweet as pie, yet I see they don't care about any of that. I'm just the fat nurse, and they point it out in such a rude way. And this is where I have to bite my tongue. I want to say, "yes, I'm fat, but I don't have back pain, I can go to the bathroom without 3-4 different medications lubing up my pipes, I don't need a walker or wheelchair. I can run, I can exercise, I don't need to take any pain medications. My heart is healthy, and I don't just sit in my chair all night waiting for time to pass me by. I can smile, I can laugh, I can enjoy life. I can be compassionate, and empathetic. I don't judge people and rudely point out their physical flaws. I'm an overall happy person, but you can't say the same, can you?"
I, of course, would never say that to this person, but I've never encountered someone who points out my weight on a regular basis like this as if they are trying to make me feel bad about myself. I am actually really insulted, but I don't let it affect my treatment of them. I just look blankly at them and change the subject the first chance I get. I just have to remember some people are just too unhappy with themselves and they need to project it on to someone else.
In happy times, our anniversary dinner was amazing! The restaurant we went to customized the menu, and took our photo for us and put it in a nice little holder. The food was so good, but it wasn't enough to replace Wildfire in my heart. But it was still such a wonderful dinner. I loved getting to have a full weekend off with my hubby. We aren't perfect, but we own up to our things, and try to comprise to make sure we both feel like we are winning.....well, most of the time, lol. We just went downtown to a museum, and spent time together. It was the best. :)
I also found a cute dress while we were out shopping at the Tommy Hilfiger outlet for 40% off that was an XL. It is a navy blue maxi dress with white stripes. I was beyond tickled pink. I realize it may see, trivial, like"woohoo, you are an extra- large, instead of extra-extra-large, fatty". But it just makes me feel good, and I'll celebrate if I want to! I also put our first anniversary picture next to this year's anniversary, and it was eye opening. You just don't realize how puffy, and uncomfortable you look until you lose weight and compare the before and afters. I am struggling a bit this week to stay on plan, but stress eating is a problem for me, and this week has been full of stress. :(
On a cute note, my little sister started her first job this week! She actually got a job at the bagel bakery I was a supervisor at until I moved up here. She'll be sticking her hand into the same 500 degree oven that I did to flip those bagels off the burlap sticks, and shoving boards of bagel dough into the same kettle that I did. I just think its cute, and I hope she enjoys it like I did! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment