A work situation has me really stressed the last few days. I'm not really comfortable discussing it in any kind of detail, other than to say I'm stressed. I hope it all resolves, but in the meantime I am a nervous wreck. Besides this situation, work is going much better finally. I'm 4 months in, almost to 5 months. I am feeling like I have finally found my rhythm in getting my med pass done on time. One of my coworkers found a job closer to home, so our overnight nurse moved into her schedule. As a result, my shift is over at 2200, instead of 2300. I really kind of had a mini-panic, because it was hard for me to leave on time even at 2300 some days. But I have actually done ok this past week. I'm sure that I'll have the random incidents where all hell breaks loose, and there is no way I will get out on time.....but I'm finally starting to feel like leaving at 2200 is a real and likely possibility, instead of simply a mean, cruel joke.
I still have so much to learn, and I feel now that I've gotten the routine down of my shift, I can start working on other aspects more. Learning what to do with the different kind of orders, like getting Hospice or Home Health in to see a resident, or ordering things like wheelchairs/walkers/heel protectors/etc. Getting better at my assessments, my documentation. I'd say I've gotten good at handling the orders for bloodwork, UAs, and X-rays. I've only had to send someone out a couple of times to the hospital, but this is something else I want to get better at.....trusting my judgement, but knowing when to not jump to a conclusion (like not believing anything is seriously wrong) and notify the doctors.
Like, chest pain. It's a weird thing. And pain in general is not uncommon in the older population that I care for. My gut instinct when chest pain happens is to call 911, but I have learned there are times where I was really scared for a resident, and the doctor declined to send out and all was fine, others where I really thought the resident was fine, but the doctor wanted to send out (which the resident was fine). And some that the resident was just using poor choice of words to describe what was ailing them, or was just freaking out because they wanted a freakin' Tylenol. It is so incredibly difficult to determine the right level of concern sometimes, because you don't want to underestimate the level of urgency, yet, you don't want to send someone to the hospital if all they have is heartburn.
But I love what I do, despite the stress that comes with it. Caring for 43 people (and some of them I see 2-3 times) in one night is a big task. It makes me feel silly stressing out over having to pass meds to 3 people in the hospital when I was in nursing school, although the process is completely different in a hospital. Still, if I can manage to pass meds to 43 people in my little 8 hour shift, plus process orders, write up incidents, yell at the pharmacy, etc., surely I can handle caring for 4-6 patients in the hospital setting. My goal is still to get a hospital job, even though the idea of leaving my current residents is a difficult one to process. I just miss doing things like IVs, and IV Piggybacks, I'd love to see more tiny humans come into this world someday. What a wonderful little miracle to hear that first cry immediately silenced by the recognition of their daddy's voice. It made me cry every single time. Sometimes I miss wearing scrubs...more like once in a blue moon I miss it.
Onto weightloss. The past 2 weeks have just sucked. I got sick, then got the horrible sunburn from hell, and now stress from work. My motivation is completely gone. I have not been good about eating, have not been working out, I skipped my weigh-in this past Saturday. Just all around bad. I am disappointed in myself. I didn't track my food yesterday, but I know I was under my points. And today is going ok so far. I gotta take baby steps into getting back on track. I wanted to go to the gym today, but I'm too upset to consider it right now, maybe later on I'll feel differently.
I have a month until my 5k, I really don't have much faith in myself to know I could run the whole thing, but I want to at least get up to 8 minutes at a time. I really don't want to be that girl who is walking the whole thing, I just don't.
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