I feel like my fog of funk has lifted. I was just feeling so disappointed in myself last week, and was seeing only what was going wrong, and it just was a low place to be. But, I did what I do best, put on a brave face and just kept on swimming. Sometimes, you just have to own your mistakes and stop beating yourself up over them. You just have to suck it up and stop sucking at life so much. It doesn't do you any good to focus so much on the negative, you just need to focus on taking action.
So, in the weight loss department. I had been sucking at it. I wasn't going to the gym for a series of reasons. I'd been eating (or drinking) more than I should, and justifying it due to stress. I wanted so bad to skip my weigh in on Saturday. I HATE weighing in and having a gain. I'd rather not go than have it documented on paper that I gained. But I decided to weigh myself at home Saturday morning, and realized that maybe I hadn't eaten as much as I thought, because I had actually lost weight according to my WiiFit scale. I decided I'd go weigh in. And sure enough, I had lost 4.4 pounds, making a total of 44.4 lost. I'm a fraction of a pound away from my 15 % goal. I'm only 6+ pounds away from 50 pounds lost.
It is so motivating to be this close to a goal. Short term goals are definitely so important to me as I travel this journey. If I focused on the larger picture in terms of pounds I want to lose, it would seem so impossible. Focusing on my weight 15 pounds at a time has been the key to keeping going. It is so easy to give up, just telling yourself that its ok to not lose the weight. Its not like I'd be alone in my giving up. But I don't want to be like everyone else who gave up, I want to be healthier. So, 15 pounds at a time it is. And it is working.
I also finally got back to the gym today. I had a headache, but I went anyway. I decided since I hadn't gone running in a while I'd start with my 1.5-2.5 minute run. I got through that ok. I had set the treadmill for 40 minutes just because, and I had over 4 minutes left to go, and I decided to try to run the rest of my time. And I did it. :) I am so ready to get back on track. The Color Run is in a few weeks, and I had accepted that running the whole thing may not be possible, but I want to try to get up to as much straight running time as I can. I am still anxious about it, but so incredibly excited at the same time. I just booked our rooms the other day, and luckily the hotel will let us check out late so we can shower off the pretty colors and get ready to go celebrate finishing the run (and my friend's hubby's birthday) before we have to go back home.
So, yeah....I have kicked myself into gear and its feelings really good.
The stress at work is still there, but it is fading. I had a late night at work yesterday because of an admission who arrived late in the evening, and some other situations I had to handle. But I got through my night ok, and I didn't stress as much about leaving late because my boss already knew I was getting dealt a crazy night. I hope to have a smoother night tomorrow. :)
Oh, and what really helped me was planning Mike's birthday. I was so stressed last year because I took my NCLEX right before his birthday, and I just was so overwhelmed that I kind of slacked a bit on the birthday front. So, this year I made sure to do it right. :) I made reservations for dinner at Lincoln Whiskey Kitchen, and secretly invited his parents, and told him nothing. I decided to go with the "whiskey" theme, and had a cake made with the Jack Daniel's label. My friend was able to photoshop the picture for me so instead of "Old No. 7" it said "Old No. 31". And Jarosch Bakery made it amazing! I went with chocolate and canolli filling, and it was super delicious! Dinner was amazing too, we are definitely going back! On Sunday, I took him to the new Rivers Casino, and had a lot of fun feeling like we were back in Vegas. :) I was really kind of upset that I had to work on his actual birthday, this is the first year I wouldn't see him. But the birthday boy ended up being sick, so we got to spend the morning together after all. It made me feel so happy that he loved everything I did, and he loved his cake, and his presents. Happy Hubby makes Happy Wife. It also served as a perfect distraction from my fog of funk.
And more smiles are added because we have fun plans for the 4th of July. I haven't gone downtown for the fireworks at all in the 8 years I have lived here. We have been confined to going to the fireworks at Mount Prospect because that is where Mike's family always goes, but I really wanted to do something different this year. So we are having some friends over to do some grilling, and then we are all heading downtown to see the show! I am so incredibly excited about this, despite the guaranteed desire to punch someone as we fight our way through the crowds. I don't even care. I miss the fireworks they have in Nashville, where it is all synced with music....and they do the same thing at Navy Pier!! I am so excited....so so so so so excited!!
AND, only 2 more weeks until BEYONCE!!!! I am so excited to see her!! It is going to be a great show. It'll help me get over my heartache over not getting picked for Jack Johnson's ticket lottery. I can't wait! :)
So yes, all smiles here!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
No comments:
Post a Comment