Drum roll please............
5.2 pounds this week!! 30.8 pounds total, which is over my 10% goal!
I swore I saw a 6 at the end instead of a 0, and was momentarily confused when she asked me what I did this week. I saw the 5.2, and I was like "Wait, did I meet my goal with that? Was that enough?". I had just went on a little rant the night before about the exact numbers I needed to hit, and those numbers were completely gone from my head. I did regain my composure, and realized I lost more than I had hoped for! I was incredibly happy to stay for the meeting, cuz it meant I'd get some applause for my achievement! To get that little keychain, it just felt awesome. I immediately texted Mike and my friend who is also doing Weight Watcher, and I was just so pleased with myself. It felt so good to hear everyone cheer for me when I said I lost 30 pounds and reached my 10% goal. My meeting leader always asks you a question when you reach certain milestones, and it just felt good to share. My meeting leader is awesome, he makes it feel fun.
However, I wasn't expecting the crying when I got to my car and took my keychain out of its box. I don't remember exactly at what point I reached my starting weight, but I know it has been at least 6 years. I had been a receptionist for about a year, and the pounds came on quickly. To be able to say I've undone the last 6 years of my life just hit me. My next goal will take me back 7 years. It is just beyond belief for me. No trendy/starve yourself diets, no diet pills. Just tracking what I eat and trying to be more active. I can't wait until my next doctor's appointment to show off my weight loss to my doctor. All the times I lied and said I was working out more than I was to her, or made excuses, or told her how I was motivated, but then gave up. I was convinced she saw me as one of those people who was never going to do it, and she'd see me developed disease after disease. It feels good to give her something to be proud of me for this year.
This is my weekly descent since January 19th:
This is my weekend to work, and I work 3 shifts in a row. It sucks. On one hand, its nice because chances are that there won't be any changes in medication orders that I don't already know about. Plus, its usually easy going because I have this totally unscientific theory that people don't want to be sent to the hospital on the weekend, so they are on their very best behavior and keep things under control. lol But it is exhausting, and I feel like doing nothing at all the next day I have off. I normally allow myself this level of laziness, but not anymore.
Speaking of work, I dreamed of nothing but work last night. The level of detail in my dreams freaks me out sometimes, like specific people/names, I can see the detail in the carpet. My dream last night showed specific pills that I give each day I work. It is weird that I can see certain pills and know exactly what it is now. Anyway, it wasn't really a pleasant dream, just anxiety inducing. I hate the level of anxiety I feel over work. I also saw one of my favorite clinical instructors at the grocery store last night, and oh it felt so good to talk to her again. I felt so happy to tell her I had a job! She was so amazingly supportive of me during my time with her, and given how incredibly petrified I was of her at first, it meant so much to me that she believed in me. I'm so so so happy I ran into her.
I'm planning to work out everyday this week again, except today. I did Week 2, Day 1 yesterday as a surprise to myself, and it really kicked my butt. Me and 1.5 minute run intervals are not friends, but we are going to try and work things out this week. Only until I ditch her for 2 minute intervals, which I'm sure is much more of a bitch, but I'll win some points being seen with her!
So here is my game plan for activity this week:
Saturday: I was going to work out today, but I'm kind of sore, so I'm taking today off as a reward for meeting my 10% goal. (DONE)
Sunday: Week 2/Day 2 walk/run app. (DONE)
Monday: Switch it up and do an hour on the elliptical maybe? (DONE - Did Week 2/Day 2 again)
Tuesday: Two hour walk with Mike, we are gonna try another trail in Schaumburg that he has been itching to take me to for years.
Wednesday: Week 2/Day 3 of walk/run app if I feel I am running, otherwise I'll just repeat Day 2.
Thursday: Two hour walk in the forest preserve again.
Friday: Week 2/ Day 3 of walk/run app.
The walking outside is what I'm allowing myself for an "easy" day. It is not hard to walk. I went on a 2-hour walk by myself this past Thursday, and it was so incredibly lovely. Sure, I picked the wrong time to go, it was windy and kind of cold, and I left my jacket at home because I've gotten too hot the last few things I've gone for a walk. I survived without it though. And I saw some deer running along at one point, and saw some pretty birds. It will all look so much more beautiful once the trees started churning out some green leaves, and the field flowers bloom again.
The best part though? No one was around to hear me bust out some mad lyrics to "Baby Got Back". I'm proud to say I can sing along to that song nearly perfectly. I sang some of my other work out songs that I was listening to, and it just felt good to be out there by myself, acting a damn fool as I walked because no one else was there. I ran a couple of times to see how I handled the pavement versus treadmill, and it wasn't so bad. I do think I'm gonna hold off until I can run more than a minute at a time before I do any serious running outside though.
School is going ok. The class is a joke. I can get a whole months worth of assignments done in a few hours. I haven't read a single chapter since the first month of class, and I am still maintaining an A average in the class. I am glad I paid for the book rather than renting it, because there are actually some really interesting things in there, but I just don't have the desire to read it right now. However, I must say, buying the Kindle version of the book so I can access it on my iPad was the BEST thing I did. Taking your tests online, when you haven't read the book, doesn't suck so bad when you can simply search for the desired terms in the question and just like that, you find your answer.
The problem for me with this class, and which I fully blame for my lack of motivation, is that is not challenging whatsoever. My nursing classes were so much harder than this, I'd be in panic mode if I hadn't read the assigned chapters twice before the test, plus studying. Plus, you could never just be concerned with one test, there were clinical assignments due 2 hours after the exam that took days to complete. This is just not the level of difficult that I have grown accustomed to, so in my mind, I just put it on the back burner. It is bad, I know, but it is what it is. Luckily, the class will be over next month, and I'm definitely taking the summer off from classes. Maybe even fall, too. I just don't feel like facing Chemistry yet. It makes my brain hurt just thinking about it.
So, I'm just gonna relax today until I have to leave for work, and it feel so good!! :)
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