"So, moving forward with 2013, there are some things I need to achieve:
- Find a job as an RN so I can start to FEEL like an RN.
- Lose weight (I have to stop starting and stopping and just DO it!)
- Stop being late.
- and prepare myself for trying to start a family."
I have for once in my life gotten past January with my resolutions. I found my RN job. I have lost over 25 pounds. I have been MUCH better about being on time for things. And the preparing myself for trying to start a family is one that is kind of in line with the losing of the weight. I don't think I'm gonna be ready this year, but I'm still working towards that, so I wouldn't consider it abandoned. It just may be a two-year's resolution sort of thing.
I am definitely stepping up my game on the weight loss front. The 3-11 shift has had an unexpected effect on me lately where I am starving when I go home. Like, 4th meal at Wendy's with a double cheeseburger and frosty kind of starving. Yes, that happened. We went out to eat one night because we were too exhausted from the 4 hour/10 mile walk I got us into because of my guilt over eating the Wendy's 4th meal. Then we went out to eat with Mom-in-law. And I made brownies. And its just been a bad two weeks. I had already skipped weigh-in last week, so I couldn't skip this week because I probably would have stopped going all together.
0.2 pounds lost. Even with the 10 mile walk, and going to the gym the night before. I was pretty ticked with myself. I realize that a loss is still a loss, but that is not good enough for me. I know what my weekly losses have been typically, and 0.2 is just not acceptable. Maybe if I were in the 100s, I'd be less upset with myself, but that's not my situation here. So, I've obviously been lax with myself. Sure, I can be proud that I've lost over 25 pounds already. But that's merely a fraction of what I need to lose. I have more work to do, and I have to get out of my non-tracking, eating fast food cheeseburgers kind of slope I'm doing down.
So, I actually have set a new goal for myself besides losing weight. I want to be able to run again. The last time I could seriously run was in high school. I signed up to play soccer. Why? Who effing knows. I'm not the outdoorsy, hiking hills, camping in the wilderness, wiping my ass with tree bark kind of girl. I like air conditioning. And indoor plumbing. And being separated from wild animals and bugs by the nice, durable walls of my home. So, what possessed me to want to play soccer is beyond me, but the point is that I wanted to play so I did.
I was a sissy pants when I first started. Shin splints, pulled hamstrings, gasping worse than the girl on the team who had asthma. But, I got better. I was late to class one day, and had to run to get there before the bell, and I was surprisingly not out of breath when I got there. That was the point I knew I was getting into shape, and was proud of myself that I could run. I did develop a horrible pain in my knee shortly after that, and found out I had Osgood-Schlatter disease in my right knee. I pretty much just gave up and assumed I could never really run again because of the feeling of a knife being stuck i my knee when I went up stairs or tried to kneel. That pain has for the most part gone away, although I do have a lovely reminder of a little knobby thing on my knee.
So,why this is all relevant. I want to be able to run again like I did in high school. I know I can do it, I know I have the ability and strength to do it, I just need to work up my endurance again. I got one of those Couch to 5K apps for my iPhone to help me. It has 3 runs each week, that has walk/run intervals. I did the first run on Friday night. It was 25 minutes totals, 5 minutes warm up, 1 minute run/ 1.5 minute walk times 6, then 5 minutes cool down. I did it twice, and added 10 minutes extra walking so I could get a full hour long workout in before my weigh in on Saturday morning. It was easy at first, and the last couple of runs were harder to get through as I got tired. But I did it!
I then went again on Saturday after work, and got cocky. I thought I'd move on to the week 1/day 2 run, and do it twice. That shit was hard. I didn't think I'd get through it. And I for sure wasn't gonna do it twice. Nope. Not gonna do it. But then I did. The 2nd round was easier, but I was hurting. I'm still hurting, but I also feel really good. I know I can do this. My fear of the stares I would get at the gym for being the fat chick trying to run, and the horrific sounds I imagined the treadmill would make from the stress it was enduring with each impact of my feet.....were the last thing I thought about when I was running. I was running while the person half my size gave up on their workout after 10 minutes on the elliptical. If someone wants to stare at me, or much worse, actually mock me (which has never happened, but I realize the potential is always there for someone to be an asshole), then let them. Chances are those people don't work out at all, and I'll eventually (if not already) be able to out run them in all my large girl glory.
I also want to do my first 5k within the next year. Like a real one, with other people there and everything. I am extremely on board to do The Color Run. I have had such jealousy of my friends who have done it, and the pictures they post afterwards. I want to be splashed with fun colors while I run. This year's run is already sold out, but I will definitely be signing up for the next one! Hopefully some of my friends will be available to sign up with me. They have been completely supportive of my goal, rather than giving me the side eye for being the fat girl trying to run. As has Mike, and he's going to run it with me, too. :)
I have also gotten back on track with my WW tracking. I've been lucky I think with the increase in my activity level at work, that it has covered up my slack in watching my intake. I mapped out my week, and realized my go-to PB & J for lunch, and its 11 points could be better utilized with a salad that is only 8 points. So, I got stuff to make a yummy grilled chicken salad for my lunches this week. And I tried to give myself room each day for Yogurtland, or my no sugar added ice cream. So at my most optimistic, I'll reach my 10% loss goal by Saturday. At half optimistic, a couple of pounds lost.
So since my weigh-ins are on Saturday, I'm a little late posting my game plan for activity this week, but here it is:
Saturday: Week 1 Day 2 run-walk X2 (DONE)
Sunday: We went for an hour long walk today in the forest preserve. (DONE)
Monday: Repeat of Week 1/Day 2 run-walk program since my ass was so kicked yesterday. (DONE)
Tuesday: 1.5 hour walk in the forest preserve with Mike if it is nice, and using my new wrist weights for the first time. (DONE)
Wednesday: Week 1, Day 3 run-walk if Monday goes well, otherwise I'll be repeating Day 2. (DONE: TURNS OUT DAY 3 IS THE SAME AS DAY 2, WIN!)
Thursday: 2 hour walk in the forest preserve, may throw in some running to see how I do running on pavement. (DONE 5.72 miles!!)
Friday: Week 1, Day 3 run-walk for sure. (SURPRISE! WEEK 2, DAY 1 DONE INSTEAD)
And for documentation purposes, me at my heaviest:
Me at my thinnest (which was nearly 8 years ago):
Most Current:
I need to get better at taking belly pics, like pregnant woman do. I've definitely shrunk down in my mid section since I've started, but have not done a good job of taking pictures. So maybe every other week I'll have Mike take a picture of me like women take of their baby bumps so I have something to remind me of the progress I'm making. Selfies (my favorite, lol) don't do this so well.
I'm not gonna start posting my WW tricks or meals, because I am certainly not at the point where I am willing to eat buckwheat pancakes, quinoa, or spinach smoothies. Luckily, I can still eat things I like within moderation and stick to my daily points. This I'm sure will change as the smaller I get, my sweet, sweet, daily points allowance diminishes. All I can say for WW, is being honest with your tracking, and truly measuring things instead of eyeballing. Even if you go over, its ok as long as you know exactly how MUCH you went over, and just make it up the next day with some activity.
Oh, and something about WW, that is awesome? They give you trinkets for your progress! I knew about the stickers, which excite me, but I didn't know about this keychain business. When I reached 25 pounds, they gave me my first charm:
Once, I reach 30 pounds, which is my 10% goal, I'll get the keychain that you put the charms on. And this actually makes me pretty giddy. The last time I did WW, I never reached any of these milestones, so I had no clue about them. I realize this make me seem like a dog getting excited for a treat after I learn a new trick, but this certainly does motivate me a bit and makes me giddy for the next trinket.
All else is well in the Casa B. Mike got a plaque at work for completing his apprenticeship program, and being the first one ever to complete it! I finally got my own automatic BP cuff and medication caddy for work. It makes me feel so much more official. I also had a conversation with my boss asking me how I was liking everything, and it made me feel good. I make mistakes as I am learning, and honestly, my anxiety lately has been at its highest since I took my NCLEX. So, any confirmation that I get that my boss doesn't think I am sucking beyond repair makes me happy. I am going to be happy when I finish my first year. I miss being confident in my job like I was at the dental office. I miss knowing exactly what I need to do in any situation. I miss not being anxious about the next mistake I made getting pointed out to me. But, I definitely like getting to know my residents. They really make the job worth it, even the grumpy ones.
That's it until next week!!
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