Stick a fork in me, cuz I am DONE!!

2 years ago, I was planning our vacation to Vegas.  I was really excited about this trip, and wanted to do Vegas right because I knew the next 2 years would be rough on Mike and I.  I got teary eyed two years ago as I saw my school setting up for graduation, because I knew I was on my way to that being set up for my graduation just two short years away.  I panicked about stupid things like having internet and "What if I have to share a bathroom with my in-laws, and I accidentally expose myself or something?". 

It is hard for me to believe that I am no longer a student.  I have no more assignments to turn in, no more clinicals to get through.  No more clinical evaluations, or holistic assessments, or simulations to freak out about.  No more books to buy.  Only one more exam to freak out about.

I somehow never believed I would be at this point in my life.  When I got discouraged about school, I tried really hard to be content with my life as a receptionist (and I'm damn good at it, too!), but it never mattered, I always hated that I never finished school.  So, while this is a super important event because I am one step closer to being in the career that I want, the most important thing to me is that I am finally completeing this thing that has been eating away at me for the last 10 years since I finished high school.  In 13 days, I will officially be a college graduate.  I have an education,  I will have those sweet letters behind my name....R.N.

The last two years have not been easy in any aspect.  I have had drama just about everything where I turned.  The stress of not being able to study because I was stressed about family issues made everything in my life worse.  My tolerance and patience was in short supply.  Friends were made and lost.  I saw classmates fall behind, and felt guilty about not being there with them.  No one understands the burden nursing school places on you, and as a result, family relationships have suffered....and this is extremely painful for me.

I feel the most guilt over how much time has been lost with my husband.  He has been my rock, and truly supporting me when no one else seemed to care.  No matter how stupid or petty the situation that was trigging my anxiety was, he always tried to make me feel better.  He truly spoiled me in so many ways, that I probably will never be able to repay him.  I am happy that now I can return to the working world, he and I can get our place again and be the married couple that we are with some privacy.  It feels almost like when we first moved in together, and getting excited about nesting again.

I am however, most grateful for the many years I hope to have getting to take care of patients.  All poop, blood, urine, and vomit aside.......when you know a patient truly appreciates how you take care of them, there is nothing else in the world that is better than that.  I may be a bit of an introvert, but feeling a connection with my patients is extremely rewarding, and it makes the poop and blood not seem so bad.

So, now that this big stress is over, I have nothing but good things to look forward to.  Graduation is in 13 days.  Our 4th anniversary is in 24 days, and we leave for Nashville a couple of days after that to see my family.  Then its NCLEX time (*frown*), and moving into our home again!  And hopefully getting my first nursing job!  I am just super excited for all of the amazing things we have been blessed with coming up!

Now, I must sleep!! :)

P.S. I still can't believe I am done!!