Last Final.....

I had my FINAL nursing school final exam today.  I took a 100 question exam running on 30 minutes, and no coffee because I didn't have time to run to Starbucks, and I didn't have my usual personal barista hand craft my cup of coffee just the way I like it while I get ready in the morning.  The several days of studying I was supposed to have unfortunately turned into 5 hours because I have been dealing with a truly devastating personal situation.  I feel so horrible, but I needed to pull myself away to alleviate the hurt and pressure I have been experiencing.  This has been a nightmare, and dealing with this while trying to finish up my last semester of nursing school just is proving to be more than I had anticipated.  I had so many hopes, but if a relationship isn't there, it isn't there.  I can only hope in my heart that someday things will allow improvement, but I just think there is too much stress and not enough time right now.

So, anyway, I've been in a horrible situation that I wanted so much to avoid, and it has made me an absolute emotional mess.  This couldn't have blown up at a worse time for everyone, and I have been so distraught that I have spent more of my time crying than studying.  I was even more upset about the lack of preparing I was able to do for my final today, but thankfully there is someone looking over me because I "feel" like I did well on my final.  Hopefully, it is well enough to pass or else I am gonna jump off of a bridge. 

Now, what I am dealing with is a big fat question mark over my schedule.  Up to the 17th is all I have at this point, with the 18th on hold but still unsure from my instructor.  I can't make arrangements with my boss at the dental office and the hospital, and I dislike this so much.  Hopefully, my instructor can get this resolved for me at least for the next month so I can do some planning, and figure out my life here for a bit.

I am just so ready to graduate, and move back into my own home with my husband, and feel like I have a normal life again.  This is all I want right now!

In the meantime, waiting on this exam score!!!!!