So, we definitely lost another nurse. And another one put in her notice. And 2 others are threatening to quit and refusing to pick up any extra shifts. I don't know what to say about it all other than I think it is really disappointing. Everyone is showing their true colors, and certain nurses are lashing out at everyone else. I'm trying not to engage, and so far I have controlled my urge to scream at them to get over it. I made cupcakes for everyone, and luckily they were well received, but I'm not delusional to think that they were going to fix everything. I just hoped it would signal everyone to remember we are all drowning, and we need to be kind to each other right now, not lashing out. It really makes going to work so much worse, and so much more stressful.
So, my life is going to continue to be crazy for at least the next month. My boss is throwing out everyone's set schedule and putting all of us where she needs us. Which sucks, but I also can appreciate why she has to do this. It spreads the burden to everyone, not just the few who are willing to pitch in and help. But, it could also blow up in my boss's face and forces the two nurses to quit. I hope this doesn't happen. So, I already told Mike I'll be working a crazy schedule for a while most likely, and I'm so thankful of how understanding and supportive he has been during this time. I am so so so thankful he knows I'm not choosing work over him just because I'd rather be at work. He understands my need to make sure my residents get taken care of, my sense of responsibility to them. He also knows how much I'd rather be at home with him than working as much as I am. I'm really blessed to have a husband who is so understanding and supportive, I really am.
I've softened on the one coworker who bit my head off a while back when SHE was late. She will probably never be my bestie, but seeing how much she is pitching in right now, while others are throwing their 2 year old-style temper tantrums.....she just gained some respect from me. She's also getting shit thrown on her from everyone, and its just not fair. You can dislike someone without being so blatantly rude and in your face about it. Maybe she makes mistakes, and maybe she doesn't always have the best approach to acknowledging her mistakes, but I can see that she's trying after working with her a few times. So, right now, I'm trying to get her a second chance, and finally trying to adjust my attitude. We'll see how it goes.
One possible upside to this shit show, is that if the 2 nurses throwing their temper tantrums do in fact quit, I will be able to move to day shift. That would be really nice to get my evenings back with Mike. But I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for it to happen, because I really hope they don't quit anytime soon because we are already short on nurses, and we'd be royally screwed if they left right now. But it is a nice thought that eventually that may be my reality.
So, today is an off day for me thankfully. I worked a double last night, and I work another double tomorrow night. Then my weekend to work, off Tuesday, then another double on Wednesday. After that, who knows what shifts I'll be on. I have a really bad headache that has lingered since last night. I need to get my nails done, but then staying home sounds really nice, too. Maybe I'll take my no chip off tonight and go during my 3 hour break tomorrow. I got this dark navy blue with a glitter polish on my ring fingers, and I loved it, but now I'm bored of it and need something else. I also am starting the process of obsessing about my hair and what to do with it. It has been horribly neglected for the past 7 months because I just didn't care. It usually is up in a pony tail or bun at work, so its just not been a big priority to keep it trimmed and colored. But I'm thinking about it now because I am in desperate need of some pampering, and getting my head shampooed at my salon is one of my favorite things. I also want a facial because my face has been breaking out so bad from all the stress and sweating at work. A massage is also something I'm considering. I've never had one before, but I'm getting myself closer and closer to being ok with being naked under a towel in front of a perfect stranger after all the stress on my back lately.
But who knows when I'll be able to schedule it all, by the time I've obsessed about my hair a long enough time, I'll have no free time at all to do it.
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