Me No Like!

Ugh, stress! It is amazing how this week seems to be catching me completely by surprise somehow. I have known all along that this week would be when clinicals start, but I am sort of freaking out. It's been way too long since my CNA class, and even that I feel was a joke. Working as a CNA or Care Tech would be the best way to truly become competent at the CNA skills, but it just didn't make sense financially to take such a deep pay cut at the time. So yeah, I have never taken a blood pressure on an actual patient. I've practiced on coworkers and classmates, and my poor poor hubby, but it's not the same as doing it every day like its your job. I've never had to give a bed bath by myself, or make an occupied bed by myself. These are things I am nervous about actually doing, on top of learning new skills as a student nurse in clinicals.

Showers....I'm ok with that, peri care....I'm good with that. I guess I need to remember that I feel pretty comfortable doing most of the basics. But when you add in anxiety about passing medications for the first time to an actual LIVE patient and doing a COMPLETE head-to-toe assessment, it is nerve wracking. I know I can't stress over this anymore than this week, because new skills will be added on all the time. I have to be able to keep up and move along to the next thing, or else I won't make it. I know this can't be the world's most impossible thing, but I'm just so concerned with being as good at this as I can.

We had our hospital orientation today, and we were introduced to the unit that we will be on for the next 8 weeks. All the stuff on the walls was a bit overwhelming...my gut instinct wanted to organize, lol. I just have in my mind the nice, clean, organized halls of Grey's Anatomy...can I have my clinicals there?! Just kidding. =)

I've let my anxiety just completely kill any productivity I could have had this evening. Which adds to my stress because there is so much studying to be done, and I now will have less time to get that studying done now. Plus, I have a family function on Saturday....so it's just like a double attack on my studying time.

Having a social life is not easy when you are a nursing student. Yeah, there will be a week or weekend here or there where your load isn't too heavy. This is when you really have to take advantage and get in quality time. However, its really hard to say no to things when people ask you to go out. Nursing school involves a lot of sacrifice, but its your decision to do this, not your family or friends' decision. So its hard to say no, because you feel like you are forcing them to accept your decision and sacrifice, too. Or you could just come off as being really anti-social. It's easier to hang out with classmates because we are all on a pretty similar schedule, and we understand when studying trumps fun time, but also when studying can wait.

Gah, its just so much pressure to try to get as much as you can to make up for the time you are missing, but sometimes after a long day of school....your brain is friend and you just can't stand to look at another WORD that has to do with nursing. It never ends. So, my stress right now involves clinicals, studying, and loss of time due to my schedule change and social time with family. And I don't want to make anyone feel guilty about taking me away from studying...especially when I managed to do so much of that on my own. So we just deal with it.

Hopefully, my husband is aware by now, but he will be my own personal guinea pig. Blood pressure, head-to-toe assessments...heck, maybe I'll even give him a bed bath (he's been begging me to do this for the past year!!). I am lucky that I have him to practice on, going to school to practice sometimes can be intimidating.

Well, I must go to sleep so that I can wake up and be productive tomorrow before class. I keep wanting to go to the Student Nurses Association meetings, but Patho review sessions always fall at the same time!! Maybe next semester. *shrug* Oh, and something that I think will be my best friend....waterless shampoo!! Today was my first time trying, and I have to say, I am pretty impressed! It cut a good 20 minutes out of my normal morning routing when I don't wash my hair, and a good 30-40 minutes from when I do wash my hair. I have to say, my hair felt really soft and clean today! And I'm only starting to get a little itchy after 18 hours. So it will definitely be a life saver for when I have to wake up super early for clinicals!!

Ok, so I am really going to bed now!!