5 Days!!

And I'm still behind schedule on my reading. Luckily, my Micro teacher still hasn't posted our syllabus so I have no idea what to read for that class, so I have a few hours open now to catch up. I also have Friday to work on some reading, too. I spent way too much time printing powerpoints last night, and I'm not even done. I guess I shouldn't complain too much because I refused to miss the new episode of Teen Mom last night. Gosh, I am so hooked....I am hoping I can manage to forget about Grey's Anatomy on Thursday nights, because otherwise that's a whole hour wasted, too. I think this is why I am not getting all of my reading done the way I want to.

Tonight is my last Wednesday night for a long long time. And tomorrow is my last Thursday for a long long time. Hopefully, I will be able to pick up some extra hours during winter break. And my favorite doctor is working a few Saturdays in September, so I'll get to see her. Oh, and I have a teeth cleaning coming up in October. So I guess it won't be so bad, I'll still get to see my favorite people a little bit here and there.

I do not see finishing my Jen Lancaster book before next week, its just not gonna happen. :(

And Yay, the books I ordered on Amazon will be here today! Luckily Mike is home to accept the delivery! I really need that medical dictionary, because there were a LOT of words that I was completely stumped on when I was reading my Pathophysiology book. A bleb? What the heck is a bleb? Did you mean blob? Because I know what a blob is. Oh, its not a blob, ok.....got it. Do you see how one tiny little work like bleb can throw you completely off?? A medical dictionary will be extremely useful so I actually know what the heck I am reading.

*Sigh* I guess I should get ready for work now, huh?

Etiologic Agents and Morphologic Changes

Huh?

Started reading my Pathophysiology book last night, and didn't get as far as I wanted to. Our reading for the first class starts in Chapter 2, but there was an intro section that was very informative, and Chapter 1 was like Physiology-the Cliff Notes. So I figured it would be a good idea to freshen up on my physiology. So, tonight I will get back at it. So I'm already behind schedule on my studying.....not good.

I am feeling less and less torn about cutting down to just Saturdays at work. I think my coworker has a good handle on the work she'll be doing, and I *think* I have most of my loose ends taken care of. So hopefully, the rest of this week will go by quite smoothly.

8 Days

So today is what I am considering my last "Lazy Sunday" before school starts. I have powerpoints to print, books to read, and video's to watch at Harper's library. I have my game plan all mapped out for this coming week. Patho on Monday, Nursing Concepts on Tuesday, and Microbiology on Thurs if the teacher would please in the name of all that is holy post our course on blackboard already!

I have been a little bummed the past couple of days, because everything about my normal daily routine is about to change. I have to get up earlier to get to school earlier. I won't be able to come home and relax after a long day at school, because my nose will need to be in a book. I can't make any kind of plans to go out beyond next weekend because I have no clue how swamped I am truly going to be. And I know I am crazy, but it feels really weird that I will only be working one day a week. The last 11 years of my life, there's been maybe a year of not working, and that wasn't even one continous year.

So, this weekend is weird for me, because I am feeling the urge to start doing homework, but I know I should relax and enjoy this weekend with Mike as much as I can. And we did go out for drinks last night with Mike's brother and his girlfriend. We had a good time, but I felt bad when I realized I might be the one keeping plans from happening because school will be in session the next time we were thinking about getting together. But I guess I am going to have to get used to this feeling.

Don't get me wrong, I am really excited about starting nursing school. This isn't me getting cold feet, and not wanting to go through with it. I am just scared of the unknown right now. I know this will go away once I get started and get a better feel of what I am truly in for. I am hoping that once I know what's going on, I will be able to find time here and there for SOME type of fun. I am pretty lucky that Mike is so supportive and understanding that life may get really boring for us.

Mike will be in school as well, he's in the middle of his automotive program. He's doing so well, he rebuilt an engine over the last 2 semesters, and he just changed the brakes on my car today. Pretty awesome this guy is. So, he'll be in class a couple of nights out of the week, and will need to study, too....so maybe it won't be so bad. I was worried that he'd feel neglected once nursing school took over my life, but he says he understands. :)

So, I ordered a few books on Amazon yesterday, a medical/nursing dictionary, and a few books to help me study for the NCLEX style tests we will be given. I also got a neat anatomy book at Barnes and Noble yesterday. It is this huge book that charts the different systems of the body, like circulatory, digestive, etc. I figured it would be useful if I needed to review my anatomy from here and there. I think it could also come in handy if I ever need to make any presentations, I could make a copy of the book at Kinko's to use as a visual aid. And it was only $10, so it was a no-brainer for me to get it.

I am also down to my last Jen Lancaster book. Although I am having a hard time getting sucked into because I feel I am starting to go into nursing school study mode.....but I MUST finish this book before school starts!

1 and 2 and 3 and 4.......now breath!!

Yep, I'm now CPR certified for another 2 years. I wasn't looking forward to working 9 to 5, and then having my CPR class from 6 to 10 tonight. Luckily, the instructors went through everything with us pretty quickly because we were all re-certifying, no one was a newbie. However, I seriously doubt the weird guy that sat next to me was re-certifying....because he was getting it all kinds of wrong.

It feels really really weird being a week and half from school starting. Next week....last week of full time work!! There was a girl in the class tonight that had just graduated from Harper, so we had a little bit of nursing school chat. I needs to get me a NCLEX review book, like NOW. I will NOT fail my first nursing test. I know I need to just worry about passing the program, but I don't want to start out failing. I'd rather build up a cushion in case something tough comes up along the way. She mentioned that everyone did poorly on the first test, and another girl I know that just started this past spring said she failed the first test. I just can't bear the thought of failing!!

*sigh*

So.....Friday, Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday. 7 work days left until I'm officially part-time worker, and full-time learner!

13 Days to Go!

Today is the last day of a 5 day weekend from work. I wanted to take this time to spend as much quality time with Mike as I could, but also get some Bear-time to myself. I slept in late this morning, and it feels good to have a day where no one is home and its just me. Days like this don't come as often, which is ok, but when you are used to having them, and they disappear, it takes a lot of getting used to.

I got my shoes ordered for clinicals. I got a pair of Dansko's from the Walking Store. I had a pair of shoes very similar to these when I worked in the bagel bakery, and I was on my feet all day, and I seriously don't remember my feet ever hurting. They are very comfortable shoes, and I am not buying a million different pairs of white shoes over the next 2 years. One pair that is of good quality should last me for the next 2 years.

This week I have my CPR class to re-up my certification for the next two years. The class is from 6-10, and its going to make for a very long long day. Atleast I will have it out of the way. So, other than my physical and shot, and turning in my insurance verification, and paying for my random drug screening, I think I am good. Oh, and buying my scrubs for clinicals, but they are bringing in samples for us, and I'd like to try them on before I order.

I also got school supplies yesterday! I LOVE new school supplies. It is the best part of going back to school!! I got lots of post-it notes, book marker sticky thingys, huge 3 ring binders, dividers, and my standard 5 Star notebook. I am trying my best to think of ways to minimize what I am carting to school with me everyday. I figure I can print power points and keep them in the 3 ring binder, and then on the day of class bring the power point printouts meant for that day in a folder. Then I'll have my notebook to take any additional notes on. So when I get home, I can return the printouts to the binder, and transfer my notes from that day over as well.

I might have to modify my plan, but again, I always feel better having a plan in place. I am hoping to be as productive as I can during the week, so that I can spend more time with Mikey on the weekends. However, the fact that there are tests EVERY OTHER WEEK in pathophysiology is a bit scary, and we have our first test after 2 weeks of class in NUR 110, and I have no idea what's going on in Micro yet, I'm down right terrified of the amount studying I will be doing or the hours of sleep I will be losing.

Oh, and I also got the idea in my head that the lady who was kind of mean to me in the Health Services office because I was getting my TB test done early, MIGHT be my lab instructor this first semester. I seriously couldn't sleep because I was so worried about it. Nursing school is hard enough even with the teachers on your side, but I'm sure its even worse if they don't like you. I am hoping this is a case of my brain working too hard to find things to worry about, because it wasn't really obvious that these women were one in the same. I feel I shouldn't be too worried, because I didn't get crappy with anyone, I wasn't doing anything that I was specifically told not to do, I made an appointment that day, I didn't just walk in and bombard the staff with my arrival, and I know I am not the only one of my classmates that is getting it done before hand. The only thing I am of guilty of is being weird and anal when it comes to getting these pre-nursing school errands done early.

I am deathly afraid of making any of my instructors or future instructors ticked off at me. My basic pharmacology teacher this past summer was awful, her instructions were unclear, she was awful at giving us proper guidance, and she just seemed annoyed that we were confused with her unclear syllabus. I felt very annoyed, and many times did I feel like getting snotty with her, but I didn't because I realize she could at some point be my instructor (she is a nursing instructor but luckily for the LPN program right now that I can see and not the RN program), and I need the teachers to like me as much as possible.....so I kept myself in check.

You always hear horror stories of how nursing instructors berate and humiliate their students, and while I've met most of my teachers, and I don't get the feeling that they would be this way, I recognize it could happen. However, I guess the best defense is to be on top of my game, and try my best to not make any mistakes.

Can time go any slower?

I have been feeling like a raging bitch all week.

*sigh*

Ok, so now that little bit of ugliness is done, let me try to explain. I have 2 weeks of working full time left before school starts. Part of me figured that getting so close would make me care less about the stupid crap that sometimes happens in an office full of completely grown up (or at least should be) adults. Caring less would bring about less stress about said stupid crap.

It doesn't.

I am still bothered when something rude happens, I am still frustrated when there is confusion and not getting answers I need. I guess I will still experience those things from time to time since I'll still be working on Saturdays. So maybe it won't get to me so much because I'll be experiencing it less. I hope.

The best way I can really explain the raging-bitchiness going on inside my head right now is I'm in a weird transition period where nothing is really going on to keep my mind occupied. The little hamster up there likes exercise, and he likes a challenge, and nothing challenging is going on right now. I am transitioning a lot of my responsibilities over to my coworker who is taking over for me at work, and I don't want to start studying too early.

I guess I also feel upset about leaving work. No matter how much of a headache it can give me at times, this has been my family in a way. They have been there with me since getting engaged, getting married, supporting me while I went to school, listen to me vent about a countless number of things. I have enjoyed knowing a good amount of our patients by their names without them having to tell me. It has been challenging mentally at times, but I have loved being there. It upsets me that when I stop being there during the week, that few will really notice, and it won't really change anything. I fear some will be really happy about it, too.

I'm not perfect, and I'm not always the easiest person to get along with sometimes, I know. I am just horribly aware of everything that goes on around me, and don't have the better sense to let things slide. My instincts are pretty spot-on, and I have been stung too many times by trying to ignore them, so I just refuse to do it anymore, and this means I am not an easy person to convince. Thus get along with, especially with people who are as stubborn as I am. I always try to do the right thing, and sometimes my idea of what is right doesn't mesh with other people's ideas of what is right. And if I feel I have been wronged, or someone is being rude, I don't like letting it slide because I just believe it does nothing but encourage that person to keep acting that way. Of course people who act that way often don't see how their own behavior can be offensive, and thus complain that I'M the one being a bitch for no reason. I am always AWARE of my bitchiness, and usually have a reason for it.

However, maybe since I'm getting a change of my full time scenery, these things will go by the way side, and I will get a long better with some of these people. I also feel that by going to school, my intelligence is validated, and I won't feel so vulnerable as the "dumb receptionist". Not that being a receptionist or anything of the like means you are stupid, but people often assume you are because of it. It's actually quite challenging, and most people would rather hide in a cave then deal with a line of people staring at them and five lines ringing at the same time. I just feel like my brain is on auto-drive at work sometimes, and I need more, and I know I am capable of more.

Gosh, getting off topic here!!

I feel sad about not having the same interaction with people at work as much, and I feel sad that some people may be happy I am leaving, or don't even care. I know I will create new connections with my classmates to take place of the ones I will be losing at work, but its just hard for me.

Also, I think I am feeling stressed about starting school, and not being sure how I will manage everything just yet. It makes me so uneasy to not know how to plan. Ask my husband, unclear plans for a night out is enough to make me a raging bitch. So imagine having unclear plans for the next four months. Do the math, its not pretty. A lot of things are contributing to my bitchiness right now. (And I am sorry for my frequent use of bitch, but there is NO other term that will correctly describe my state this week.)

However, my story does come to a better ending. Yesterday, I had the whole day to myself. I woke up, and got out of the house. I got my yummy White Chocolate Mocha (Thank you Starbucks), and got my favorite blueberry bagel and cream cheese from Einstein Brothers (Which is the best bagel place I have found since my days in the bagel bakery of Brueggers--which is WAY better than Einstein's), and went to my favorite nail place and got a mani/pedi. Seriously, the second my feet hit that warm spa tub with the extra-jetty water jets, I just felt my stress melt away. And the massage-chair was just the right amount of massage-y. And Martha Stewart was on the TV making yummy things. It was just what I needed.

After I was done at the nail salon, I went to Borders for some books. I am currently reading Jen Lancaster's books,and I seriously heart the woman. I just finished Such a Pretty Fat, and Bitter is the New Black. She makes me laugh so much, and there is a lot of things she says/does that I have done or could see myself doing. So, I picked up the last two of her books I haven't read yet, Bright Lights..Big Ass, and Pretty in Plaid. I also went to Panera to get my favorite turkey sandwich, the Sierra Turkey.

I get home, house is empty...which is rare. I open my book, then open my sandwich only to find a pig has put on a turkey costume and decided to hide in my sandwich. Sierra Ham....not so good. However, I got almost halfway through Bright Lights, Big Ass in just the afternoon. Mike comes home, and we go out to dinner at TGI Fridays. It was yummmy. Then we walked around Streets of Woodfield for a little bit, and I found a really cute purse that *gasp!!* wasn't Coach! It was actually a Jessica Simpson bag, and I can't wait to carry it. We then met up with Mike's brother Jon and his girlfriend Bethany (she's so nice, I have threatened my brother-in-law that he will lose his annual Santa Cookie basket if he messes it up with her!) to see Dinner for Schmucks. And proceeded to laugh my ass off! Seriously.....its gone! Oh wait, it was never there...hehe. It was really really funny, and it was a perfect way to end my day.

Today, I spent my hubby, we went out for breakfast and went on our weekly grocery date at Target. And checked out a cutesy antique store....My husband is lucky we don't have the space for anymore furniture, because there was SO much I would have gotten. Then I napped the night away. I still have 3 more days off of work, which is really nice. I am really happy I was able to take the time off, so I can get some real relaxation in before school starts, and get in as much time with Mike as I can.

20 Days!

I have 20 days left of freedom until nursing school starts. They haven't posted our courses on Blackboard yet, so I'm not sure exactly how much studying I need to do before class starts. I want to get a head start on my studying. Right now, I'm just enjoying not having a crap load of stuff to do for a change!

This past weekend, I got an Ipod Touch. I kind of had my heart set on getting a blackberry so I could just carry one thing around with me....but the price of it since I'm not at the end of my cell phone contract is crazy. Plus it could increase our phone bill. The Ipod touch was much cheaper, and no contract involved....and it was pretty neat getting to play around with it at the Apple store.

I already found one drug reference that is free, and there are a ton of medical references that you can download. I also already have my class schedule loaded into it. I also MAY have downloaded Tetris for "Stress Management"! :D I'm pretty happy with my decision.

We also had our first Student Nurses Association meeting yesterday. I'm excited to be a part of it. I think it will be a good way to get involved, and also make friends with my fellow nursing students. They need people to be on the board once the current board graduates. I am thinking about it, but I'm also nervous about making any more commitments at this point. But it would look awfully good on a resume!