I Love My Mornings

I work the 3-11 shift most of the time, and when I first started working it, I didn't think I would like it.  Not getting home until nearly midnight (which is way past my usual bedtime - I like my sleep), and also the thought of never seeing Mike because I'd be sleeping when he's leaving for work, and he would be asleep when I got home from work.  Add in the fear I had of seeing 45+ residents every night, and that I would be going down to part-time hours, I almost didn't take this shift.  At least working night I could still have dinner with Mike every night, and it was relatively non-scary due to the more clerical nature of that shift.  But my brain kept nagging at me that it would be the better experience, no matter how scary it was to take on a shift with non-stop med passing.  I knew only being able to put "Chart auditing" on my resume was not what I wanted to get out of my first year as a nurse.

So, I made that scary call to my boss to ask her if I could still take the 3-11 shift.  I wasn't sure if it would still be available since I had made it pretty clear that I didn't want it when she first approached me.  Luckily, it was still available, and it was mine.  It was a pretty rough day because then I had to negotiate myself hours at my dental office to make up for going down to part-time.  I was pretty upset that day because I was worried about how our finances would work out.  But once I sat down and did the numbers, I knew we would be ok.  I was terrified, but I knew it was the right thing for me and my career.

It was rough getting used to this shift.  Any free time I did have, I spent it obsessing over the list of people I needed to see, trying to absorb it, making the list over and over a few times to make it easier for me to learn the rooms, which hallways to go down, which MAR book to grab.  I cried the first time I attempted to do the shift on my own because the person training me kind of left me to my own devices.  I cried the entire 35 minute drive home.  I cried when I got home.  I never, ever thought I would be able to work this shift and get out on time.  Or that I'd make a mistake and get fired.  I never thought I would learn all the medications like the other girls seem to know like the back of their hand.  Honestly, I thought my coworkers must be crazy to be able to get through this shift like it was nothing.  It definitely made me feel like maybe I would start looking for another job sooner than originally planned.

7 months later, and my perspective on it is completely different.  I have my routine for my shift down pretty well.  I don't have all the meds memorized by heart, but most of them I do.  I still have crazy nights where all hell breaks loose and I get behind, but those are usually because of things that I have no control over or ability to foresee.  When those nights happen,  I accept whatever help my coworker that night can give, and just keep swimming....it all does get done eventually, and my residents will forget soon enough that I was late or rushed seeing them.  I am far more confident than I was when I first started this job.  Someone falling does not send me into a panic anymore like it used to.  I still have so much to learn, but I'm not nearly as terrified as I used to be.

Now, I get to enjoy most of my mornings not rushing around trying to get ready.  I can get my coffee ready, and lounge on the couch while I catch up on my Perez Hilton gossip, and wake up as slowly as I would like.  I can be productive if I need to because I'm not about to crash from exhaustion after working a long day (and not getting enough sleep the night before).  And I still have plenty of nights where I get to have dinner with Mike, and we have Tuesdays off together usually, so my worry about never seeing him wasn't really warranted.  Plus, my shifts go really quickly due to the number of people I have to see, so it doesn't usually feel like I just put in 8 hours of work.  I'm not watching the clock, wishing it would move faster.  I'm usually hoping it will slow down a bit.  I am really happy that I work this shift versus doing overnights, because the one week where I did overnights, I had the hardest time sleeping.  I think I would have been a mess if I kept that up.

Moving on! :)

Mike's parents did a great job in their play Friday night.  The play was what it looked like behind the scenes of an old time radio show.  So you saw how they did certain sound effects, and how certain people did multiple parts on the show.  We really enjoyed it, and my in-laws did a really great job in their roles.  I wasn't sure what to expect at first, but figured we were going to support Mike's parents.  But I am glad we went, because it was a pretty fun show to watch.  I would happily go see them again if they do another show.



Breaking Bad is only one episode away from being over forever.  I am so sad about this.  We have been watching the last season with my friend and her husband, and we have all been in complete disbelief after each episode.  My boss and a couple of other friends are all in disbelief and don't know what to expect next week when the last episode plays.  There is just no way it ends now in a good way where everyone we want to stay alive is alive or stays out of jail.  We will be delayed in watching it because I am working next weekend, so it's gonna suck sooooo bad to have to wait a whole week to watch the finale.

Anxiety is also a lot better.  I haven't taken a Xanax for a whole week now.  I am feeling like the new medication is definitely helping.  Not that I don't still have anxiety, I do, but I feel like I am able to manage it a lot better without having to medicate myself with a Xanax.  This makes me happy.  The anxiety I do have usually motivates me to just get up and do whatever it is that I'm supposed to be doing, cuz usually my anxiety is present when I'm being lazy.  So, the bed that is unmade gets made, and my dishes get put in the sink, and then I feel better.  Not too bad.  :)

I also learned I am in love with Panera's Broccoli Cheddar soup.  I tried their chicken noodle soup once, and didn't like it, so I wrote off all of their soups. (That's just the picky eater in me) But I made Mike order it when we went there on Friday before the play so I could try it, and I was in love.  I was in full out puffy heart love.  I took over the soup from him and gave him my salad.  And we had it Saturday and Sunday for lunch.  And I want to convince him to go get more soup with me today when we gets home from his half-day of overtime and I get home from my session.  I looooooove that soup. :)

I am also loving the weather right now.  It is bright and sunny outside, but its totally cool enough to rock out my cardigans.  I love my cardigans so much.  We've been taking a lot more walks now that its not so humid out.  Walking to go get a coffee at Starbucks or soup at Panera or frozen yogurt at Yogurtland.  It is a really nice walk to take, and I am happy those things are close enough for us to walk to, but long enough of a walk to count it as exercise. :)  Plus, we have some really good talks when we go walking.  If there is something bothering one of us, or a problem we are trying to work out how to handle it, we always seem to be able to do that on our walks.

I also really love Jenna Marbles and this video. :)