It's been 2 days almost now, and all I have is a tiny bruise from the injection....no redness or bumpiness. I'm happy about that, I'd rather not go through the chest x-rays and more extensive testing that they make you go through if your test shows a positive result. Tomorrow I am getting a blood draw to check for titers, or immunity to certain diseases. I am hoping for not having to have any more shots than necessary.....I just don't like them.
Any who.....I figured I'd give a little bit of a back story on why I decided to go to nursing school....because everyone has one. At least they should anyway!!
When I was in high school, I was dead-set on being a psychiatrist. I took Latin, all the biology classes I could manage, and went to college fairs because I was so serious about that being my destination. I knew in order to be a psychiatrist I would have to go to med school in order to prescribe medications, and I had no fear about it. I had always been told by my friends that I was a great listener and that this was what I was meant to do.
Of course, life doesn't always work out the way you plan it. Once I realized that psychiatrists didn't really get to sit and talk with their patients on a regular basis, I decided I didn't want that. I didn't want to just treat people with medication, I wanted to listen to them, and help guide them onto a better path. So, I decided I would be a therapist instead. And started taking psychology classes when I started college.
Of course, my 2nd year, I had a seminar class on professions in psychology. I realized I'd have to go to grad school, and then get my doctorate to really be competitive in the field. This would involve experiments, research, writing to be published in psychology journals.....for 8-10 years of my life.....and still not have a stable job or income. Applying all of these theories I was learning about to my future patients just wasn't what I wanted. Why does talking and listening to someone about their problems have to be so technical, and why do they have to labeled and fit into a neat little square box of theories!?!?
I was also finding myself pretty jealous of my friends who only had to do 4 years of school, and then they would have a job!! They were hire-able right out of college! I just wasn't happy with the road psychology would take me down, and I was re-evaluating my decisions about school.
Going back a couple of years.......My senior year of high school, I started working for my grandmother. She owned a boarding home for senior citizens, and I would be responsible for making beds, doing laundry, cleaning, assisting with meals, doing activities for the residents, and assisting with getting them dressed, showered, etc. I was pretty desperate for a job, and I figured it couldn't be that bad.
My first day.....I had to help a resident named Jeannette get dressed for the day. She could do very little for herself, and I was pretty nervous as I have never done anything like this before. I was pretty depressed that first day, and didn't think I would last very long because I just didn't think I could handle seeing people in such a state where they couldn't even dress themselves!!
However, I still kept going in for my shifts, even after getting pretty ill after my first weekend there. I started to get to know the residents, Harold, Floyd, Vera, Violet, Mary, Anna, Jeannette, and Frances. They all had different qualities that I loved about all of them. Once I built a relationship with them, getting them changed for bed, or showered up, wasn't so bad, because I didn't think about the task itself, it was more about taking care of them.
I realize now.....that I should have had more training than I did, and that there were some things that I shouldn't have been doing at all. I wasn't a registered CNA, and the home nurses that would come to look after some of the patients would have us do things like push meds through an IM port....this just shouldn't have happened. Vitals should have been taken, and things that I probably don't even know yet.
However....I only quit because I was going away to school, and some shady attempts to lower my pay was unacceptable. I was sad to leave. I was scared the residents would feel I was deserting them, and I would miss them so much. As tough and challenging as the job could have been at times, and even scary or depressing when one of them was dying or died, I really enjoyed it. And these were the things I kept thinking about when I was evaluating what I wanted to do next since I had decided psychology wasn't for me.
I was at Eastern Illinois University at the time, and I was put in a situation where I had no choice but to go back home and take a break from school. And I started researching schools in Nashville, TN. I had decided that nursing school might be the answer I was looking for. Once I paid off my tuition bill at EIU, I could start school again. And I was pretty excited!!
Of course, life AGAIN, took a different path, and after a year of being home in TN, I moved to Chicago to be with my now-hubby Mike. I started attempting William Rainey Harper College. I started working on the classes I needed, and prepare to apply for the nursing program. Life was difficult at the time, I was working two jobs to support myself, I had some health problems, and of course adjusting to having a local relationship instead of a long distance relationship had its own sets of ups and downs. I wasn't doing very well in my classes because I was stretched too thin, and my financial aid was suspended....so no more classes for me. =(
I was pretty disappointed in myself. I know I am a smart girl, and can do so much better than this! However, I had just started working in a dental office, so I talked myself into thinking this is what I should do the rest of my life since obviously school wasn't panning out. I really really really liked working the front desk, I felt I did really well at it. So I just started saying that I liked being on the business/paper side of things, and that I don't like blood (which is ridiculous, I LOVE LOVE LOVE me some ER reality television/reenactments)!
I got engaged to Mike, we were living together, and I didn't have to work two jobs anymore. I was really happy at my current dental office, and life was GOOD!! Sure, there were some stressful days, but I just felt content. However, May 2008 brought a huge change in our office, it doubled in staff due to a merger....and I was the lonely front desk girl facing a group of 4 front desk girls from their office.....it didn't start out so well, and I no longer felt too secure in my job. Also the big economy pooper happened later that year, and I was just anxious. I realized that my job could easily be taught to some young girl straight out of high school. I was also sick of the professional staff talking down to me like I am just the "dumb receptionist". I realized I am just as capable as them, and I'm not stupid, and maybe my brain power really is being wasted here punching in numbers and holding out my hand for money from patients.
Mike and I crunched some numbers, and realized we could manage to pay my tuition without any financial aid for a class or two a semester. I started with the CNA course last summer, then anatomy, then physiology. I retook Sociology and computer fundamentals, which were the classes that I had done poorly in before at Harper. I took the NLN, and I got a 91!! I was getting As in all of my classes. I realized I had a good shot of actually getting into Harper's RN program!! I originally planned to apply for the Spring 2011 start, but I managed to be accepted before my physiology class was completed, it was contingent on getting at least a C and I was in!!
I nearly cried!! And Mike's parents offered to let us move in with them so that we could avoid huge HUGE loans and also so I could stop working full time and focus on school. Everything within the last year just seems to be falling into place to allow me to go to school to be a nurse. I'm nervous as hell, but so excited at the same time. I realize that I am so blessed and truly fortunate to be in this situation, and its something I am thankful for everyday.
So this is all leading up to where I am today, taking TB tests, and practicing for my CNA skills test, and taking online modules on Healthstream. I just don't want anything to go wrong, because I feel I would be letting down those who have helped me get to this point, wasting this amazing opportunity!
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