2010 is gone, and 2011 is here! And of course, as I am sitting here chomping away on some yummy puppy chow I made while my poor husband is trying to concentrate on his book, I am contemplating my potential New Year's resolution of trying to lose weight. I think my stomach is trying to convince me it can't be done. Why else would I do nothing but stuff my face as I watch The Biggest Loser?
I have tons of reasons why I would want to lose weight like I'll feel better, I'll look better, I'll be able to buy cuter clothes, and maybe prevent the mile-long list of diseases I could get as a result of my weight. What usually holds me back is I get out of my routine for exercise and I get tired of the restricted diet. I'm a horribly picky eater already, so add diet in there, and there are 5 things I'll deem acceptable that I can have, and then I get sick of those 5 things and then I'm screwed and pick up a milkshake.
I liked Weight Watchers because I could still eat the things I wanted, but sometimes the points could be confusing....like figuring up points for something you made yourself, or a restaurant that has no nutritional value. Then because you were off track one day, its way too easy to stay off track the next, and so on. Plus, its $40 a month if you go there to weigh in and for the meetings. It's only 18 dollars for the online tools to help you keep track of your points, but then you don't have those weekly weigh-ins at the meeting to keep you honest.
However, I found even on my bad weeks points-wise, as long as I was working out, I still lost weight. So, I almost feel like I need to focus on the working out part. If I can do my part on the working out, the rest comes along with it. Sure, I can stop my growing pepsi addiction, and only get the tall-size white mocha's, or maybe even cause trouble and order a short-size. And just try to eat less of the bad stuff, drink more water,and work out.
Then, there is the reality to consider. I will get fed up one week, or feel too busy with school, or get sick, or a really good episode of Grey's will come on....then I stop. I feel good after I work out, I am usually never regretful about having done it. I just wish the weight would come off faster, I wish I would start to see results faster. It's hard when you feel like you are working so hard, and aren't getting anywhere close to where you want to be. So, that's when the doubt starts to kick in, and I start to feel sorry for myself, and I have the best excuse of "Well....I am in Nursing school", and there we go, I end up not working out for months.
Luckily, my husband has bet $50 of our money that he can lose the most weight of his work buddies, so he is determined to win, and I'm determined to make sure we at least keep our $50, so maybe this will help me get up in the morning to work out.
But then, I want to do this for myself, and myself only, and not feel like his working out is dependent on my working out. I usually end up getting irritated if he decides not to go to the gym on the same day I decided to not go to the gym.
So, if you haven't already noticed, weight loss and exercise is one big cluster-fuck of confusion. So, I'm very reluctant to made a firm and public commitment here. I just need to find something that will motivate me and keep me on track. So, I figure as long as I wait til after the 1st week of January is over, I don't have to count myself as a NY's resolution drop-out, right?!
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