I just want to pass Peds

Alright, so the lil babies are adorable, even the ones hooked up to machines to through trach to make sure they keep breathing. They are fun to play with, and make stupid sounds and faces to make them smile. But I am not a Peds nurse.

My clinicals have not been what I thought they would. I feel more criticized for stupid things (like not writing bowel sounds active in 4 quadrants, compared to the widely accepted bowel sounds x 4, or BS x4), rather than feeling guided and challenged. This week was also an absolute nightmare for me in clinical due to a mistake that I wish never, ever happened. And then I fail another test in Peds lecture.

I dont know what my problem is exactly, but I am for some reason acting in a self-sabotaging manner in regards to Peds. I just can't get my shit in order. Again, yes the kids are adorable, but this is just not where I see myself. I can handle adults, even the mean, grumpy ones who insist on pushing their calls lights every 5 minutes despite the fact that they are in isolation and you have to get gowned up before you can even see what they need, and then all they needed was to know what channel the relaxing music is on.

I just want to pass this class. I have the cumulative final next Wed morning, I need to get 60/75 to be in the clear, otherwise I will be absolutely devastated. Part of my frustration is that I have another exam I have to study for once I get 2 evals done tonight, that is on Friday. I work tomorrow and I worry it will be another cluster-fluff of a day, and will affect my ability to study effectively.

I just want to pass, I just want to pass, I just want to pass, I just want to pass, I just want to pass, I just want to pass, I just want to pass, I just want to pass, I just want to pass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Summer is over!

So I am about to finish up my 2nd week of school. I am sad that summer is over, because its been so nice. I was really busy over the summer though between working at the hospital and the dental office. I am deeply torn about continuing to stay at both, I know I really should just quit the dental office, but I have been there so long that its tugging at my heart strings to consider actually leaving. Although there have been some new developments that make me wonder if now would be the better time to jump ship. Anyway, I was super busy, so I don't feel like I really had a summer.

My problem now, is that despite it already being 2 weeks of school.....my motivation is MIA. I don't feel that terrifyng feeling that I will be kicked out that I had last year that kept my ass in check. I know some people who would say its a good thing to be more relaxed, but they don't understand that my anxiety about failing is what made me do so well. It made me kick my own ass so I didn't have any teachers doing it for me. Maybe after our first test on Wed, I'll get back into gear.

I have come to accept that its ok that certain people are not meant to be in my life, and that even though I may never know or understand their reasons or actions, its ok because the more I stress myself about it, the more I am continuing to let them have any kind of effect on me whatsoever. I am not a perfect person, but I am a good person and that's all that matters. Those that want to be in my life and want me in theirs will show it, simple as that. It's all about the quality, not quantity, of the people in your life.

So besides my missing motivation, things are pretty good!! So I am going to shower and see if the steam will make my laziness go away!!

Summer Time!!

I am well into my wonderful summer of freedom! I am enjoying not freaking out because of the studying I need to do, annoyed at being back into the gossip-jungle that is my office, and spending tons of time with my hubby!! I am content with my grades for this past semester, and I hope to keep it up for the 2nd half of my journey through this program. It truly is hard to believe my first year is over with!!

Anyway, in other good news, I got a PCT job at Big Area Hospital that I shall not name. I am really excited!! I will be on the orthopedic floor, and my unit manager is really nice. And the unit????..............Is beautiful! As beautiful as a hospital floor can be, anyway. I feel really fortunate to be able to start out on such a nice floor, with nice new shiny rooms, each with their own shiny vitals machines and computers! No need to stalk computers to be able to document! I have two weeks of orientation that starts on Monday, and I got my nifty lil name badge on Wednesday when I got my physical and stuff done! I am nervous about starting a new job, but I need the challenge. My current job is just full of the same stuff that never changes, and what changes do occur are usually bad ones. I will be working both jobs for the time being so I can get in as close to full time hours as I can this summer, but then I will have to make a decision.

The PCT job is better for me in the long run, even with the pay cut I am taking, because I will have my foot in the door for nursing positions once I graduate. It's hard for me to think about leaving my people at my current job because I have been there for so long, but I just don't feel warm and fuzzy about my office anymore. Plus, I don't get enough of a challenge out of the job besides dealing with gossip and BS. I'm not perfect, but I do not make stuff up or twist things like some of my coworkers do, and its just ridiculous. You can't make it through a day without encountering gossip or drama, and its exhausting. And a desk job like this should not be exhausting.

*sigh*

Anyway, I have had an amazing time so far with my hubby!! Our 3rd wedding anniversary was this Tuesday, and we went downtown for a couple of days. We had a lot of fun, ate awesome food, and got sore and burnt! Next on our agenda is a musical downtown, then a wedding, and then planning my hubby's birthday!! So excited!!

Almost there!

I really hate the last 3 weeks of the semester. It seems to bring out the worst in all of us. I have been struggling with some rough emotions the past couple of weeks, I've written a couple of posts that seemed to always get messed up somehow before they were actually posted. I think that was a good thing.

I am not going to get into specifics. But I am disappointed in a lot of my fellow classmates. I respect anyone's will to not like a teacher, to feel like the class is too hard, or be scared at the idea of not passing. It's totally ok if our personalities don't mesh well, or if we disagree with each other. But the extent that people have taken things this last 8 weeks is sickening to me. Are we bashing other people to make ourselves feel better? Are we disregarding the hardwork of our peers simply because WE didn't get the grades that we wanted, so no one else must have deserved their grades if they did better? Must we say that people are getting special treatment or just freaks of nature, and that must be the explanation for their success? Do we have to try to get the teacher in trouble, because she must not be grading fairly if we didn't get the grade we felt we should have?

I will not speak for anyone but myself. I read the material, most of the time twice. I did the case studies, I did the study guide work, I did the online practice exams. I could have probably done a lot more work than I did, and I am positive that there were people who did 2 or 3 times the amount of studying that I did. But the one thing that is different about all of us is how our brain works. Application of the material is mostly what they are testing us on. And we are not all going to apply the material in the same way. This is why I believe there are so many people who have dropped the class or who are going/maybe going to fail the course. Not because they didn't study, but because they are wanting us to think in a certain way, and that is not easy to train your brain into a new way of thinking. It will just take more time for some of us, and there is nothing wrong with that.

What is important is that we don't give up. We need to support and celebrate each other in our journey. We are the only ones who will even remotely understand what each of us is going through, and struggling with in this program. Yet, we are trying to tear down our classmates, and downplay the hardwork they have put in. And why? Because maybe they were successful, and we were not? Is that what makes you feel better? If so, I sincerely hope you recognize this, and find a way to fix whatever it is inside of you that makes you feel this way.

I feel hurt right now, and that's ok. I will not add fuel to the fire by confronting anyone. All I can do is do my best to stay positive, and continuing to push myself to be better. I believe that I have worked hard, and I have earned my grades fairly. I can't do anything about how other people behave or how they treat me, I can only control how I choose to respond. I will be happy for my classmates in their successes, and I will be sad but encouraging for those whose journey just got a little longer . I will also continue to be scared out of my mind that failure could come my way at any moment just as easily as my success has. I will be grateful for the amazing wisdom and guidance I have been fortunate enough to have experienced from my clinical instructors so far. I will remember that I am only responsible for myself, and that all this negativity means nothing because all that matters is that I know I have earned my acheivements fairly, and not needed to hurt or push others down to boost myself up.

And yes, I got an A in clinical. I had anxiety each and every clinical day. I beat myself up for my mistakes, but I took action to correct them immediately. I pushed myself to be better. I went and bought a 100 count box of subQ needles because of one nerve-wracking bubble that I couldn't get rid of in front of my instructor so that I could practice. I can't offer any explanations on why my other classmates didn't or won't receive an A or an B. All I can be concerned with is that my clinical instructor determined I had earned it. It does suck if others are told they would have gotten an A or B if the instructor were ALLOWED to give it to them, but that is not my problem. And it certainly doesn't mean that I should be guilty for getting my A. So, if I upset anyone because I felt like celebrating this one grade, I can't do anything about that. I have purposely not posted my grades this semester, and I have not talked specifically about them to anyone unless they asked. I was ecstatic on Monday when I found out, yet I was also crying tears of relief because I have been so scared of not making it through. I deserve to be celebrating, just like the rest of my classmates who have survived and those who put in a good fight but just have a lil longer journey. In the end, the A doesn't really matter, its the fact that I passed that is most important.

So, I have a Cancer Walk on Saturday, my pharmacology final on Tues, and my final head to toe assessment on Wed, and then I am officially done for the semester. I am so excited to relax, and we have some amazingly exciting things planned. I am even ok working some extra hours in my office with all the gossip-mongers that come along with it. I am just happy to be able to spend time my hubby again without feeling guilty that I should be studying!

Rough Day

Yesterday was tough. We had a cardiac exam, hypothyroidism and Diabetes quiz, an Evidence Based Practice paper, and I had over 12 drug cards due since the teacher is my clinical instructor. I studied all weekend, I even got someone to cover me at work on Saturday so I could study more. I slept for only 2 hours Sunday night. Oh, and I had to stay after class to go over rounding with my lab instructor because I didn't round to a whole number for my ml/hour in IV meds.

The test was hard, but I tried not to second guess myself because I was just going to drive myself crazy. I ended up being one point away from a B, which is ok, but just upsetting when you spend so much time studying and all it gets you is a C. Unfortunately, several of my classmates failed the exam, even though I'm sure some of them put in way more time than I did. It's kind of devastating as a nursing student. Any other major like psych or english, or whatever, if you put in a week's worth of studying, you are golden. In nursing, there's no guarantee whatsoever.

But, I can't join the party of hating the instructor and feeling like she is trying to make this class impossible for us, because I do not believe that is the case. I have her for clinical, and yes she is intimidating, but she is encouraging to me and helps guide me into the right direction when I am struggling. I see nothing in her but trying to make us think, and making us better. Cardiac is HARD. And we didn't even cover all that we could have for cardiac. Most of the test wasn't about what the book told you, it was about critical thinking and prioritizing and application. This is what makes a nurse, and it is not easy.

I love my instructor, and while lecture is rough to sit through sometimes, I know she wants us to do well. So I'm not going to join the angry mob of people, I think she is great.

So anyway, as long as I don't fluff up in clinicals, I will be a 3rd semester student. I would have to completely give up as this point not to pass. So, that does take some of the pressure off. This last half of the semester has been rough.

ANYWAY......I am completely looking forward to summer. We have a wedding, Cubs games, shows downtown to see. I am sooooo excited to see Chicago the Musical and Beauty and the Beast. I cannot wait!! I'm just so thankful that we will be getting to do all these fun things, because this school year has been rough! We probably won't be going on a vacation this summer, but that's ok. I want to plan a beachy vacation next summer after I graduate. One where we can relax, drink fruity drinks out of coconuts, and get a nice tan! Plus it will give me something to look forward to as next year is going to be a whole new type of stress!

Alright, I guess I need to get back to being productive.

Time Takes on a Whole New Meaning in Nursing School!

It is amazing how fast time goes by now. I never have enough time. Things that seem like they should be quick, end up taking hours. And hours seem like minutes when you are trying to finish a big assignment. It is kind of scary to think that I am a month away from being done with my first year of nursing school. I almost feel like 2 years is not enough. It is hard to imagine that in a year's time I will be educated enough to be expected to pass my licensing exam and be given patients' lives in my hand. Don't get me wrong, I feel excited to be learning so much, but its humbling to be aware of how much you don't know, and will not know until you have YEARS and YEARS of experience under your belt. In the mean time, I am in my first medical surgical rotation, and its terrifying. My instructor is intimidating, but it is something I am grateful for because she is pushing me to be better already. This rotation is finally teaching us to start putting the pieces together and using our brains to figure out what is best for our patients. It's good to be learning this, but terrifying because it makes you realize how easy it is to misinterpret an assessment of your patient. *SIGH* But things are going well. I don't have time for pettiness, or really anything that doesn't involve studying. But something happened today that is just bugging the hell out of me. We had a test question that was written poorly, and a lot of people got the question wrong even though our book stated 2 of the possible answers one right after the other. I got this question wrong because of the way they teacher intended the question to read. One of my classmates told me she wanted to strangle me because I was "going against" her when I stated both options were right next to each other in the paragraph of reading. I was completely thrown by this. She said this over a large group of us nursing students, too. So it wasn't a private conversation, and she's telling me she wanted to strangle me. Let's get this straight. Even if she hadn't misunderstood me, I am allowed to disagree with whatever I please. I am not the type to AGREE to keep the peace. Also, even if what I said was meant to come off as disagreeing, I was still stating a very true fact that both answers were correct and RIGHT NEXT to each other in the book with no clear distinction of which one would be better. And, I selected the same answer as you, so you should cool it a minute before you start jumping conclusions because you don't have the capacity to listen properly and start telling people you want to strangle them for going against you. Then of course, telling me that you were gossiping about me to our classmates in clinical about wanting to strangle me only seals the deal that I hope you never need my help for anything. I realize that nursing students are no more mature and reasonable people than anyone else when it comes to social interaction that doesn't involve peri-care. I have decided that people who want to be your friend, will be your friend. It shouldn't be difficult, or full of resentment and hurt feelings that you aren't allowed to talk about. And I'll be damned if I''m gonna compromise myself to be part of the cool kids group. It's just not gonna happen.

Done with Psych!!

Thank goodness!! Not that our Psych rotation isn't interesting, but its just not for me. I used to be a Psych major before I decided I wanted to go to nursing school, and there is a reason I got out of it. I am just not cut out for structured conversations and analyzing every single word my patients say. I like being hands-on, and making my patients as comfortable as I can. Plus this class was full of busy work, I felt like clinicals were a breeze because you didn't really have to do much. Just sit and observe, have a short conversation with your patient, and comb their chart for any information you need to do your assignments. It wasn't enough of a challenge for me, I guess. I got a B though in clinical, and an A in lecture....so I'm happy.

So I start Med Surg this next week, and while its a scary class to start, I'm excited because it will definitely be challenging! I heard we aren't learning a lot of skills in this rotation, just priming IV lines and bedside blood glucose test. Which is a bit disappointing because I feel we could learn so much more, BUT, if this means I will pass my class easier....than so be it!

So today I am getting my hair did. I am trying to grow my hair out, and as a way to tempt me to leave my length alone, I'm gonna get some highlights put in. I am so extremely nervous, because I have no idea how it is going to turn out!! But the lady I'm seeing today works on 3 of my co-worker's hair, so I'm trying to have faith, lol. Then I have a volunteer event tomorrow night where we are making dinner for women and children at a crisis center, and setting up a crafty thing for them to do. I am always game for volunteering, as long as I have the time for it. I also have a lot of studying I need to do to prepare for Med Surg and a midterm for Pharm. Such is the life of a nursing student! :)

Let's Take the Time to Savor this Moment.....

because it will probably be the last time I can say I have all A's this semester! Once my clinical grade is determine, that moment is over. I am hoping for a B, although an A MAY just be possible since my holistic had no corrections on it at all. However, getting your hopes up for an A in clinical is delusional thoughts for a nursing student. Oh, and I guess my process recording wasn't my best work this second time around, although it was longer....so that could set me back, too. But I don't care, because I just want to be done!

Otherwise, besides the uncertainty of clinical, I have an A in all of my other classes. As long as my Psych final on Tuesdays goes well, I will keep my A in that class, too! So, it feels good to start the first half of the semester off so well! But Med Surg will start the week after next, and that's a whole different ball game. That class I will be happy just to be able to say I passed. It's supposed to be a tough class, but I am so ready for it. I am missing the hands on stuff, like injections, and researching medical conditions and meds. That is the type of stuff I enjoy doing. I am also really excited for learning IV skills this semester.

In other news, I have been going to the gym for the past week. I have started out doing ok, I have been going for an hour each time. And I feel good about it, in fact I am going to be on my way to the gym here as soon as I finish with this post! I haven't been pushing myself so hard that I get too sore or hurt any muscles, because that is usually what sets me back. I pull a muscle, and then I don't go back to the gym for a week or at all. I am excited for making progress and seeing some pounds fall off.

I am excited for what the summer will bring me! I am most likely not taking any summer classes this year, which is awesome! I haven't had a free summer since we got married almost 3 years ago, so this will be a great treat for me! I will pick up some extra hours at work this summer, but other than that, I can relax, and do fun things with Mike! So far, we have tickets for a couple of Cubs games, an out of town wedding, plans to see Beauty and the Beast the musical, and MAYBE go back up to one of the towns we visited in MI last summer and spend a weekend getting some sun on the beach! Let me add, that I have not owned a swimsuit since I was 11, and have refused to buy one or even go swimming pretty much since then. But something is making me want to say fuck it and lay in the sun and relax. So I actually bought a swim suit in case we end up going this summer.

Now don't expect to see me in a swimsuit all the time, the only reason I am ok with this is because the likelihood of seeing anyone I know or will ever see again in my life in Michigan is very very small. Plus, there weren't a ton of people on the beach when we went last year, so that makes me more comfortable. But I just want to have a nice little relaxing getaway.

So, it may be bad of me, but I am sooooo already in the mindset of summer, the next 8 weeks of school is kind of already over for me, lol.

Alright, this girl is off to the gym!!

I've been busy!!

I have had so many assignments due the past week or so, that its been a little nutty. Luckily, I've gotten through all the madness so far with my sanity intact. :)

My birthday was on Monday....otherwise known as Valentine's Day. (Cue: Awwwwwh!) I also unfortunately have clinical on Monday. So I was bummed because I had Mike take that day off before I found out we didn't have any choice in making our class schedule this semester. So, I tried my best to cram in all the studying I needed to do the W-F before so that we could enjoy the weekend together.

I am really blessed, I had an amazing birthday/Valentine's Day weekend. So much good food, fun things we got to do, and just in generally feeling really happy. My husband does an amazing job at making sure my birthday and Valentine's Day get equal attention, instead of smoosh together. I don't think I'd want it any other way!

So part of me felt pretty ok about my exam that I had Tuesday morning, but I was still a little worried because I did not study at all like I normally like to. But I ended up doing ok and got an A! I think being a former psych-major may be helping me just a tiny little bit here, lol. Or maybe just crazy understands crazy! haha!

Luckily, there are no tests or quizzes next week, but we have our holistic assessments due which take forever!! So, I'm gonna be working on that today. I started it yesterday, but its so overwhelming when you first start it. So I had to set it aside and relax last night. I hope to get the majority of it done today, but we will see! I also have a NAMI meeting that we have to go to as part of our clinical time. But luckily that isn't til later tonight, so it won't get me all mixed up by being in the middle of the day.

Oh, and I have to do our taxes sometime soon.......YUCK!

I need an anti-lazy pill!!

I am having a hard time getting this process recording done for my psych clinical. It's because I don't want it to look half-assed. I feel a little lost, but it will all work out I'm sure. I have hospital simulation tomorrow morning so our instructors can see how well we communicate therapeutically. Its not a test, its supposed to be a learning experience, but it is still a little anxiety-inducing.

We had a ton of snow this week, like almost 2 feet of snow! I was completely surprised to see that much snow, because I don't think I have ever seen that much snow in my life! And that is the amount of snow that it takes for things to shut down around here. I haven't had a snow day since I lived in TN. It's crazy. So since everyone was home on Wednesday, it has thrown me off completely of my normal weekly schedule. Meaning I haven't gotten anything done this week, besides some journal entries for clinical.

I did get to see Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) on Friday. It was very interesting to see people have induced seizures, and how the treatments are very simple, and they roll people in and out like clockwork! It's so weird to see how quickly they go under, and how quickly they come out of it. My father-in-law knows the doctor who performs the ECT, so I was able to introduce myself to him, and I think that helped me feel a little more comfortable. He was very nice, in fact, everyone was very nice. I didn't feel at all like I was a burden to anyone, so that made me feel better, too. I don't think I would want to see ECT being done every day of my life, but I was excited I got to see what its like.

I got an A on my Psych exam! Grades got posted a little later than what she told us to expect, but I figured it might happen because of the snow. I was unsure of how I did on the exam because I felt like I hadn't studied enough, but apparently I did just fine! I feel good starting out the semester with an A! :) I have decided to not share my grades with my classmates. I get anxiety that it may get interpreted as me bragging or rubbing it in if I'm happy about my grade when other people aren't happy about theirs. So I just figured to help reduce my own anxiety, I'd like to be a little more ambiguous about it. So I'll celebrate here or with Mike, or non-classmate people. But again, I feel really good about my A!!

My birthday is about 8 days away, on Valentine's Day. I won't be at work next Saturday because I have clinicals on my birthday, and then an 8 a.m. exam the next day, so my birthday is kind of shot. So I took that Saturday off so Mike and I could spend some time together. So, this Saturday, my co-worker brought in a cake and fresh cut fruit to celebrate my birthday early! Everything was delicious! It made me feel all bubbly and cheery!

So, today, I HAVE to get down to business and finish my stuff, that way I can study for my Pharm quiz!! Oh, and did I mention that today is the Super Bowl, which is always a big deal to the boys in this family, but I could care less?? I unfortunately have too much to do to sit and watch, even for the commericals. But I feel guilty not partaking in family events like this because of school, but its my own fault. I have spent WAY too much time playing Epic Mickey Mouse on the Wii! I have to make up for it!!

What A Lazy Day!!

I was soooo productive yesterday. I got all of my reading for Psych and Pharm for next week done yesterday. So, today, I thought I'd knock Phys Assess out early and then have the whole day to start preparing for Psych! So.......um.....yeah, that didn't happen. I tried listening to my girl Ingrid Michaelson, but I kept singing along to her. I tried some Robin Thicke, didn't work either. Lady Gaga didn't help, and neither did my long-time favorite Janet Jackson. So.....I was lazy, but then around 3:00 I got down to business for the most part listening to my Jack Johnson. He always gets me through a jam, I swear!

I finally got a copy of the Med-Surg syllabus, and it honestly doesn't seem that bad. However, I still plan on getting a head start on the reading, because I am NOT failing that class. I also got a couple of interviews lined up for two of my assignments coming up, thanks to my lovely hubby! I am also going to an open AA meeting this weekend to observe about the 12 step program, and become a little more familiar with it. So I feel pretty good, to be honest with you!

Anyway, so I was looking at my stats for my blog. I don't get a long of views, and that's ok. However, I have noticed that my most popular post seems to be from my "My Philosophy of Nursing" post where I was frustrated on how to write a 2 page paper on the subject. I chuckle a little bit when I see those people got to my page because they googled "My Philosophy of Nursing". It makes me wander if they are fellow Harper students, or if this is a common assignment in other programs. But I chuckle because I did the same thing. I was dying for an example to go by. However, I figured it out on my own, and that's why I chose not to post the paper I wrote because I'll be damned if I am giving someone else any kind of advantage that I didn't have! :) And I mean that with love....L....O....V....E!

It hard to believe that last semester I was absolutely terrified that I would get kicked out within the first week, then the first month, or second or third month, or that I'd all the way to end of the semester, and fail by 1 point. I had absolutely NO idea of what to expect, how to prepare, how to organize. But now that the first semester is over, I feel more confident. I still have worlds to learn here, am not perfect at all. But I feel confident in my abilities to learn and absorb the things that my instructors are throwing at me. I am not absolutely terrified of this first Psych test on Tuesday. I just know I need to give it my all to prepare, and know that I truly did my best!

On another note, this bright and charming nursing student managed to bite her tongue today and it is very painful! So my lovely hubby is bring me a milkshake! :) I love him!

I feel so good!

It sooooo hard to wake up this morning, I just wanted nothing but to keep snuggling under the warm covers with Mikey. I was kind of dreading clinical today because its still one big unknown for me. Where will I be? What do I have to do? What will my patient be like? Last semester's clinical, after the first 2 clinicals, I was good to go. So I'm hoping this will be the same this semester. I of course was very worried about doing a one-on-one interview with a patient in the mental health facility. It's definitely completely unknown of what that person's story will be.

I of course got kind of a lovely surprise today because instead of being on one of the units, I was sent over to the Psych Liaison in the Emergency Room at the hospital. This area is dedicated solely to patients coming in to the ER when they are having a mental crisis, and the nurses assess the patients to understand the situation, and to determine if the patient needs to be admitted to the mental health hospital. I got to observe 3 of these patient assessments, and it was pretty surprising. It definitely gave me a new outlook on patients suffering with mental illness. It's not always obvious by how the patient looks or how they talk or behave.

I was so happy to not be overwhelmingly exhausted after clinical today, so I actually went to school to print my notes for class this week, and work on my clinical journal and evaluation. I got some Starbucks as a treat, and even got dinner in the oven!

I am feeling wonderful, I truly am. I really do believe letting go of the things that were upsetting me has helped with this tremendously. But, it was just a really good day, and I am happy with being caught up with my school work. I'm not even too horribly upset about having to be in school from 8 to 7 tomorrow, lol.

So, I just have to decide how much studying I want to do tonight, I have a few pages to finish up for Pharm, and I need to get my notes organized into their appropriate folders, but other than that, I am done for the evening! Woohoo!!

I was shot!

With vaccines, of course! :)

I went today to get a Flu shot and an updated Tetanus shot because they not come bundled with the whooping cough vaccine. I didn't really want to get the Flu shot, because I never get the flu, and the last time I got one, my arm hurt for a really long time after getting it. But, I have my psych clinicals at NCH, and they now require us nursing students to have flu shots or we have to wear masks before we can go into any patient's room. So, I figured I might as well get it and now have to deal with that hassle.

Today is the last day before 2nd semester officially begins. I have most of the first week's reading done, I got night professional looking clothes for my psych rotation, and I am reading to go! Oh, and also got a lovely surprise that one of our classes, Physical Assessment, doesn't start until next week!! So tomorrow won't be a super long day like I thought it was going to be. I just need to read one more chapter for Pharm, and then get my lecture notes ready for tomorrow.

I can say that I feel rested and refreshed after my month off from class. I know that the stress will seep back in, but for now, I am enjoying being able to study without feeling horribly stresse out, and actually feeling optimistic about my classes, lol.

So, that's all for now I guess. I am sad that break is over, because I have really enjoyed all the time I have gotten to spend with Mike to make up for the lack of it during last semester. But luckily his class is starting tomorrow, too, so its not completely my fault! :)

Break is Over!

I took today off of work because I wasn't feeling so hot, and it just so happened we got dumped on with a bunch of snow today. I was sad because I missed a fun night with my study-buddies last night, but I'm not gonna pass anything on to anybody else if I can help it. The boys in this house have been sick this week, so I guess it was just inevitable that I would catch a snippet of it.

So, with that said, today is the perfect day to get started on some reading. I made productive use of my time last night since no fun was to be had, and I sorted out my syllabus's onto my Google Calendar (which I love so far, but I am not the most faithful calendar lover...so we'll see when something new and exciting catches my eye!) and made lists of the reading I need to do to prepare for each quiz or test. I don't have all of my syllabi's yet, so as soon as I do, I will organize those into workable formats, too.

I just really want to stay on top of everything this semester, and not have to spend anymore time getting "organized" as the semester progresses....because it is so time consuming. I just need to feel like I can seamlessly move from one class to the next without a huge bulky notebook. I am thinking about having one big notebook, and then having thin folder/tiny notebook for each week or for each test. I just need to cut down on the bulk that I carry to school each day.

My Med Surg book should be delivered today,and my Physical assessment book should be delivered in a couple of days. I guess there is a computer program that we have to buy that wasn't in the bookstore, so whenever there is more info on that, I'll have to buy that I guess. The amount of organization and information that we HAVEN'T received is troubling to me. I believe we can't really be successful if we aren't given the information and materials we need to be successful. Luckily, I am not in Med Surg until the 2nd 8 weeks, so I am ok....but my fellow classmates who are in it the first 8 weeks have only gotten the reading schedule for the first few weeks....I am angry for them. That is supposed to be the really difficult class this semester for us, and a week only remains until class is in effect....I would be freaking out to not even have the syllabus yet.

They mentioned this computer program in this letter they sent out, but didn't tell the students where to go to purchase it, and its not on the book list in the bookstore for our class, yet they are supposed to have this done BEFORE the semester starts? People have jobs and lil ones, they need more notice than what they have been given, at least in my opinion.

Ok, I'm off of my soap box. I need to get my butt in gear and start putting a dent in my reading!

2nd Semester Books

Waking up to snow AND new school books?? Wasn't expecting either, I knew the books were on their way, but UPS is never here this early! I got my psych and pharm books, and study guides for everything else today. The study guide for med surg makes me want to cry, because its huge! I thought they messed up and sent the actual med surg book early! But no, they didn't mess up, its huge. I need to find a way to sew two backpacks together so I can carry all of this stuff.

I am very happy with the amount of money I saved this semester. Last semester, I was so excited for books that I just bought them at whatever price the school bookstore was selling them for, I knew I could have been patient and found them online for cheaper, but I'm not usually patient when it comes to things I'm super excited about. But when I saw the price for our Med Surg book on the site of the company that our school buy their books from, I wanted to puke. $350 for ONE book, and Harper would have probably marked it up a lil bit higher. I actually managed to get all of my books except for one for around $400. So, I am happy to have saved so much!

They don't even have all of our books in yet. School starts on the 18th, and nursing students usually have to start reading before hand, especially this semester. But then again, our instructors haven't even posted our courses on blackboard, so we would have no idea on what to start reading anyway! Nevermind. I forget that I am always way ahead of myself.

I am enjoying my free time, but I also kind of want to be getting back into gear for school. Such a torn soul, lol.

Not a New Year's Resolution....

I'm not calling it that. I think that it will just doom the whole thing to failure. I'm setting a small goal for myself. Nothing more, nothing less. I think I will push myself to lose 20 lbs. I'm not setting a time limit right now, but roughly 2 months I think I can do it, maybe 3 if I get lazy. I'm trying to look at this from a nursing diagnosis point of view. "Client will lose 20 lbs. in 3 months as evidenced by a smaller jean size." I can look at my actions and ask myself if they will help me reach my goal. Such as "Does this double chocolate cupcake get me to my goal, or hinder me from my goal?" I don't see myself saying no to every temptation, but I think limiting how often I give in will help.

I am thinking about the gym with da hubs, but I'm not committing to that just yet. I also want to give myself a long term goal/treat. A really cute shirt or dress (that is several sizes smaller) that I can admire and look at when I am getting lazy. Once I can fit into that shirt or dress, I can say I have really accomplished something. The hard part has been actually finding a shirt cute enough to be given this honor!

Anyway, today was a fun day! Mike, my in-laws, and I went to see The Wizard of Oz at the Apollo theatre in Lincoln Park today. We got tickets from my family as a Christmas gift. Got all the way out there to realize it was a child's play, but it turned out to be really cute and funny. We had a yummy lunch at R.J. Grunts, and then play Just Dance 2 for a couple of hours. It was a pretty good day. Now I just have to get ready for bed because hubby-poo is tired and tomorrow is his first day of 4a.m. wake up time to go exercise!

Happy New Year!!

2010 is gone, and 2011 is here! And of course, as I am sitting here chomping away on some yummy puppy chow I made while my poor husband is trying to concentrate on his book, I am contemplating my potential New Year's resolution of trying to lose weight. I think my stomach is trying to convince me it can't be done. Why else would I do nothing but stuff my face as I watch The Biggest Loser?

I have tons of reasons why I would want to lose weight like I'll feel better, I'll look better, I'll be able to buy cuter clothes, and maybe prevent the mile-long list of diseases I could get as a result of my weight. What usually holds me back is I get out of my routine for exercise and I get tired of the restricted diet. I'm a horribly picky eater already, so add diet in there, and there are 5 things I'll deem acceptable that I can have, and then I get sick of those 5 things and then I'm screwed and pick up a milkshake.

I liked Weight Watchers because I could still eat the things I wanted, but sometimes the points could be confusing....like figuring up points for something you made yourself, or a restaurant that has no nutritional value. Then because you were off track one day, its way too easy to stay off track the next, and so on. Plus, its $40 a month if you go there to weigh in and for the meetings. It's only 18 dollars for the online tools to help you keep track of your points, but then you don't have those weekly weigh-ins at the meeting to keep you honest.

However, I found even on my bad weeks points-wise, as long as I was working out, I still lost weight. So, I almost feel like I need to focus on the working out part. If I can do my part on the working out, the rest comes along with it. Sure, I can stop my growing pepsi addiction, and only get the tall-size white mocha's, or maybe even cause trouble and order a short-size. And just try to eat less of the bad stuff, drink more water,and work out.

Then, there is the reality to consider. I will get fed up one week, or feel too busy with school, or get sick, or a really good episode of Grey's will come on....then I stop. I feel good after I work out, I am usually never regretful about having done it. I just wish the weight would come off faster, I wish I would start to see results faster. It's hard when you feel like you are working so hard, and aren't getting anywhere close to where you want to be. So, that's when the doubt starts to kick in, and I start to feel sorry for myself, and I have the best excuse of "Well....I am in Nursing school", and there we go, I end up not working out for months.

Luckily, my husband has bet $50 of our money that he can lose the most weight of his work buddies, so he is determined to win, and I'm determined to make sure we at least keep our $50, so maybe this will help me get up in the morning to work out.

But then, I want to do this for myself, and myself only, and not feel like his working out is dependent on my working out. I usually end up getting irritated if he decides not to go to the gym on the same day I decided to not go to the gym.

So, if you haven't already noticed, weight loss and exercise is one big cluster-fuck of confusion. So, I'm very reluctant to made a firm and public commitment here. I just need to find something that will motivate me and keep me on track. So, I figure as long as I wait til after the 1st week of January is over, I don't have to count myself as a NY's resolution drop-out, right?!