Rough Day

Yesterday was tough. We had a cardiac exam, hypothyroidism and Diabetes quiz, an Evidence Based Practice paper, and I had over 12 drug cards due since the teacher is my clinical instructor. I studied all weekend, I even got someone to cover me at work on Saturday so I could study more. I slept for only 2 hours Sunday night. Oh, and I had to stay after class to go over rounding with my lab instructor because I didn't round to a whole number for my ml/hour in IV meds.

The test was hard, but I tried not to second guess myself because I was just going to drive myself crazy. I ended up being one point away from a B, which is ok, but just upsetting when you spend so much time studying and all it gets you is a C. Unfortunately, several of my classmates failed the exam, even though I'm sure some of them put in way more time than I did. It's kind of devastating as a nursing student. Any other major like psych or english, or whatever, if you put in a week's worth of studying, you are golden. In nursing, there's no guarantee whatsoever.

But, I can't join the party of hating the instructor and feeling like she is trying to make this class impossible for us, because I do not believe that is the case. I have her for clinical, and yes she is intimidating, but she is encouraging to me and helps guide me into the right direction when I am struggling. I see nothing in her but trying to make us think, and making us better. Cardiac is HARD. And we didn't even cover all that we could have for cardiac. Most of the test wasn't about what the book told you, it was about critical thinking and prioritizing and application. This is what makes a nurse, and it is not easy.

I love my instructor, and while lecture is rough to sit through sometimes, I know she wants us to do well. So I'm not going to join the angry mob of people, I think she is great.

So anyway, as long as I don't fluff up in clinicals, I will be a 3rd semester student. I would have to completely give up as this point not to pass. So, that does take some of the pressure off. This last half of the semester has been rough.

ANYWAY......I am completely looking forward to summer. We have a wedding, Cubs games, shows downtown to see. I am sooooo excited to see Chicago the Musical and Beauty and the Beast. I cannot wait!! I'm just so thankful that we will be getting to do all these fun things, because this school year has been rough! We probably won't be going on a vacation this summer, but that's ok. I want to plan a beachy vacation next summer after I graduate. One where we can relax, drink fruity drinks out of coconuts, and get a nice tan! Plus it will give me something to look forward to as next year is going to be a whole new type of stress!

Alright, I guess I need to get back to being productive.

Time Takes on a Whole New Meaning in Nursing School!

It is amazing how fast time goes by now. I never have enough time. Things that seem like they should be quick, end up taking hours. And hours seem like minutes when you are trying to finish a big assignment. It is kind of scary to think that I am a month away from being done with my first year of nursing school. I almost feel like 2 years is not enough. It is hard to imagine that in a year's time I will be educated enough to be expected to pass my licensing exam and be given patients' lives in my hand. Don't get me wrong, I feel excited to be learning so much, but its humbling to be aware of how much you don't know, and will not know until you have YEARS and YEARS of experience under your belt. In the mean time, I am in my first medical surgical rotation, and its terrifying. My instructor is intimidating, but it is something I am grateful for because she is pushing me to be better already. This rotation is finally teaching us to start putting the pieces together and using our brains to figure out what is best for our patients. It's good to be learning this, but terrifying because it makes you realize how easy it is to misinterpret an assessment of your patient. *SIGH* But things are going well. I don't have time for pettiness, or really anything that doesn't involve studying. But something happened today that is just bugging the hell out of me. We had a test question that was written poorly, and a lot of people got the question wrong even though our book stated 2 of the possible answers one right after the other. I got this question wrong because of the way they teacher intended the question to read. One of my classmates told me she wanted to strangle me because I was "going against" her when I stated both options were right next to each other in the paragraph of reading. I was completely thrown by this. She said this over a large group of us nursing students, too. So it wasn't a private conversation, and she's telling me she wanted to strangle me. Let's get this straight. Even if she hadn't misunderstood me, I am allowed to disagree with whatever I please. I am not the type to AGREE to keep the peace. Also, even if what I said was meant to come off as disagreeing, I was still stating a very true fact that both answers were correct and RIGHT NEXT to each other in the book with no clear distinction of which one would be better. And, I selected the same answer as you, so you should cool it a minute before you start jumping conclusions because you don't have the capacity to listen properly and start telling people you want to strangle them for going against you. Then of course, telling me that you were gossiping about me to our classmates in clinical about wanting to strangle me only seals the deal that I hope you never need my help for anything. I realize that nursing students are no more mature and reasonable people than anyone else when it comes to social interaction that doesn't involve peri-care. I have decided that people who want to be your friend, will be your friend. It shouldn't be difficult, or full of resentment and hurt feelings that you aren't allowed to talk about. And I'll be damned if I''m gonna compromise myself to be part of the cool kids group. It's just not gonna happen.

Done with Psych!!

Thank goodness!! Not that our Psych rotation isn't interesting, but its just not for me. I used to be a Psych major before I decided I wanted to go to nursing school, and there is a reason I got out of it. I am just not cut out for structured conversations and analyzing every single word my patients say. I like being hands-on, and making my patients as comfortable as I can. Plus this class was full of busy work, I felt like clinicals were a breeze because you didn't really have to do much. Just sit and observe, have a short conversation with your patient, and comb their chart for any information you need to do your assignments. It wasn't enough of a challenge for me, I guess. I got a B though in clinical, and an A in lecture....so I'm happy.

So I start Med Surg this next week, and while its a scary class to start, I'm excited because it will definitely be challenging! I heard we aren't learning a lot of skills in this rotation, just priming IV lines and bedside blood glucose test. Which is a bit disappointing because I feel we could learn so much more, BUT, if this means I will pass my class easier....than so be it!

So today I am getting my hair did. I am trying to grow my hair out, and as a way to tempt me to leave my length alone, I'm gonna get some highlights put in. I am so extremely nervous, because I have no idea how it is going to turn out!! But the lady I'm seeing today works on 3 of my co-worker's hair, so I'm trying to have faith, lol. Then I have a volunteer event tomorrow night where we are making dinner for women and children at a crisis center, and setting up a crafty thing for them to do. I am always game for volunteering, as long as I have the time for it. I also have a lot of studying I need to do to prepare for Med Surg and a midterm for Pharm. Such is the life of a nursing student! :)

Let's Take the Time to Savor this Moment.....

because it will probably be the last time I can say I have all A's this semester! Once my clinical grade is determine, that moment is over. I am hoping for a B, although an A MAY just be possible since my holistic had no corrections on it at all. However, getting your hopes up for an A in clinical is delusional thoughts for a nursing student. Oh, and I guess my process recording wasn't my best work this second time around, although it was longer....so that could set me back, too. But I don't care, because I just want to be done!

Otherwise, besides the uncertainty of clinical, I have an A in all of my other classes. As long as my Psych final on Tuesdays goes well, I will keep my A in that class, too! So, it feels good to start the first half of the semester off so well! But Med Surg will start the week after next, and that's a whole different ball game. That class I will be happy just to be able to say I passed. It's supposed to be a tough class, but I am so ready for it. I am missing the hands on stuff, like injections, and researching medical conditions and meds. That is the type of stuff I enjoy doing. I am also really excited for learning IV skills this semester.

In other news, I have been going to the gym for the past week. I have started out doing ok, I have been going for an hour each time. And I feel good about it, in fact I am going to be on my way to the gym here as soon as I finish with this post! I haven't been pushing myself so hard that I get too sore or hurt any muscles, because that is usually what sets me back. I pull a muscle, and then I don't go back to the gym for a week or at all. I am excited for making progress and seeing some pounds fall off.

I am excited for what the summer will bring me! I am most likely not taking any summer classes this year, which is awesome! I haven't had a free summer since we got married almost 3 years ago, so this will be a great treat for me! I will pick up some extra hours at work this summer, but other than that, I can relax, and do fun things with Mike! So far, we have tickets for a couple of Cubs games, an out of town wedding, plans to see Beauty and the Beast the musical, and MAYBE go back up to one of the towns we visited in MI last summer and spend a weekend getting some sun on the beach! Let me add, that I have not owned a swimsuit since I was 11, and have refused to buy one or even go swimming pretty much since then. But something is making me want to say fuck it and lay in the sun and relax. So I actually bought a swim suit in case we end up going this summer.

Now don't expect to see me in a swimsuit all the time, the only reason I am ok with this is because the likelihood of seeing anyone I know or will ever see again in my life in Michigan is very very small. Plus, there weren't a ton of people on the beach when we went last year, so that makes me more comfortable. But I just want to have a nice little relaxing getaway.

So, it may be bad of me, but I am sooooo already in the mindset of summer, the next 8 weeks of school is kind of already over for me, lol.

Alright, this girl is off to the gym!!

I've been busy!!

I have had so many assignments due the past week or so, that its been a little nutty. Luckily, I've gotten through all the madness so far with my sanity intact. :)

My birthday was on Monday....otherwise known as Valentine's Day. (Cue: Awwwwwh!) I also unfortunately have clinical on Monday. So I was bummed because I had Mike take that day off before I found out we didn't have any choice in making our class schedule this semester. So, I tried my best to cram in all the studying I needed to do the W-F before so that we could enjoy the weekend together.

I am really blessed, I had an amazing birthday/Valentine's Day weekend. So much good food, fun things we got to do, and just in generally feeling really happy. My husband does an amazing job at making sure my birthday and Valentine's Day get equal attention, instead of smoosh together. I don't think I'd want it any other way!

So part of me felt pretty ok about my exam that I had Tuesday morning, but I was still a little worried because I did not study at all like I normally like to. But I ended up doing ok and got an A! I think being a former psych-major may be helping me just a tiny little bit here, lol. Or maybe just crazy understands crazy! haha!

Luckily, there are no tests or quizzes next week, but we have our holistic assessments due which take forever!! So, I'm gonna be working on that today. I started it yesterday, but its so overwhelming when you first start it. So I had to set it aside and relax last night. I hope to get the majority of it done today, but we will see! I also have a NAMI meeting that we have to go to as part of our clinical time. But luckily that isn't til later tonight, so it won't get me all mixed up by being in the middle of the day.

Oh, and I have to do our taxes sometime soon.......YUCK!

I need an anti-lazy pill!!

I am having a hard time getting this process recording done for my psych clinical. It's because I don't want it to look half-assed. I feel a little lost, but it will all work out I'm sure. I have hospital simulation tomorrow morning so our instructors can see how well we communicate therapeutically. Its not a test, its supposed to be a learning experience, but it is still a little anxiety-inducing.

We had a ton of snow this week, like almost 2 feet of snow! I was completely surprised to see that much snow, because I don't think I have ever seen that much snow in my life! And that is the amount of snow that it takes for things to shut down around here. I haven't had a snow day since I lived in TN. It's crazy. So since everyone was home on Wednesday, it has thrown me off completely of my normal weekly schedule. Meaning I haven't gotten anything done this week, besides some journal entries for clinical.

I did get to see Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) on Friday. It was very interesting to see people have induced seizures, and how the treatments are very simple, and they roll people in and out like clockwork! It's so weird to see how quickly they go under, and how quickly they come out of it. My father-in-law knows the doctor who performs the ECT, so I was able to introduce myself to him, and I think that helped me feel a little more comfortable. He was very nice, in fact, everyone was very nice. I didn't feel at all like I was a burden to anyone, so that made me feel better, too. I don't think I would want to see ECT being done every day of my life, but I was excited I got to see what its like.

I got an A on my Psych exam! Grades got posted a little later than what she told us to expect, but I figured it might happen because of the snow. I was unsure of how I did on the exam because I felt like I hadn't studied enough, but apparently I did just fine! I feel good starting out the semester with an A! :) I have decided to not share my grades with my classmates. I get anxiety that it may get interpreted as me bragging or rubbing it in if I'm happy about my grade when other people aren't happy about theirs. So I just figured to help reduce my own anxiety, I'd like to be a little more ambiguous about it. So I'll celebrate here or with Mike, or non-classmate people. But again, I feel really good about my A!!

My birthday is about 8 days away, on Valentine's Day. I won't be at work next Saturday because I have clinicals on my birthday, and then an 8 a.m. exam the next day, so my birthday is kind of shot. So I took that Saturday off so Mike and I could spend some time together. So, this Saturday, my co-worker brought in a cake and fresh cut fruit to celebrate my birthday early! Everything was delicious! It made me feel all bubbly and cheery!

So, today, I HAVE to get down to business and finish my stuff, that way I can study for my Pharm quiz!! Oh, and did I mention that today is the Super Bowl, which is always a big deal to the boys in this family, but I could care less?? I unfortunately have too much to do to sit and watch, even for the commericals. But I feel guilty not partaking in family events like this because of school, but its my own fault. I have spent WAY too much time playing Epic Mickey Mouse on the Wii! I have to make up for it!!

What A Lazy Day!!

I was soooo productive yesterday. I got all of my reading for Psych and Pharm for next week done yesterday. So, today, I thought I'd knock Phys Assess out early and then have the whole day to start preparing for Psych! So.......um.....yeah, that didn't happen. I tried listening to my girl Ingrid Michaelson, but I kept singing along to her. I tried some Robin Thicke, didn't work either. Lady Gaga didn't help, and neither did my long-time favorite Janet Jackson. So.....I was lazy, but then around 3:00 I got down to business for the most part listening to my Jack Johnson. He always gets me through a jam, I swear!

I finally got a copy of the Med-Surg syllabus, and it honestly doesn't seem that bad. However, I still plan on getting a head start on the reading, because I am NOT failing that class. I also got a couple of interviews lined up for two of my assignments coming up, thanks to my lovely hubby! I am also going to an open AA meeting this weekend to observe about the 12 step program, and become a little more familiar with it. So I feel pretty good, to be honest with you!

Anyway, so I was looking at my stats for my blog. I don't get a long of views, and that's ok. However, I have noticed that my most popular post seems to be from my "My Philosophy of Nursing" post where I was frustrated on how to write a 2 page paper on the subject. I chuckle a little bit when I see those people got to my page because they googled "My Philosophy of Nursing". It makes me wander if they are fellow Harper students, or if this is a common assignment in other programs. But I chuckle because I did the same thing. I was dying for an example to go by. However, I figured it out on my own, and that's why I chose not to post the paper I wrote because I'll be damned if I am giving someone else any kind of advantage that I didn't have! :) And I mean that with love....L....O....V....E!

It hard to believe that last semester I was absolutely terrified that I would get kicked out within the first week, then the first month, or second or third month, or that I'd all the way to end of the semester, and fail by 1 point. I had absolutely NO idea of what to expect, how to prepare, how to organize. But now that the first semester is over, I feel more confident. I still have worlds to learn here, am not perfect at all. But I feel confident in my abilities to learn and absorb the things that my instructors are throwing at me. I am not absolutely terrified of this first Psych test on Tuesday. I just know I need to give it my all to prepare, and know that I truly did my best!

On another note, this bright and charming nursing student managed to bite her tongue today and it is very painful! So my lovely hubby is bring me a milkshake! :) I love him!