Thursday, August 9, 2012
No Downstaffing for This Girl
So it looks like I will be here the whole shift from what I can tell. But census is low for having 3 techs, so it makes for an easier night. My patients are all awesome, so I am not too upset about being here the whole time. I had to explain to a patient why it was important for her to order dinner so the nurse could give her certain medications. When I walked out, the nurse called for me and said she over heard me. I thought, "shoot....I went too much in nurse mode, and she is pissed at me for saying something wrong!!". But she actually complemented me, and told me I was really good with the patient. That made me feel good. You don't get a lot of appreciation, or even acknowledged at all sometimes by the nurses....so I was happy someone thought I was doing well and cared enough to tell me so.
I'm just finishing up my break, and trying to stay away from the cake that the family a patient I cared for brought to the unit as a thank you. :)
I'm just finishing up my break, and trying to stay away from the cake that the family a patient I cared for brought to the unit as a thank you. :)
Rain, Rain.....Go Away!
I'm scheduled to work a PM shift tonight, so I'm having a lounge-around kind of morning til I leave for work in the afternoon. That is if I don't get downstaffed, which I'd LOVE. It's been rainy/cloudy out, but I don't mind it too much. I actually feel pretty good today. I am loving our view out of our french doors in our living room. The next apartment building isn't so close that we can see into the windows, and we have a lot of trees in the greenway, with one actually right in front of our balcony, so it makes it all feel very private, which I love. You go 2 years of having no privacy, and you will gain a whole new appreciation for it, too.
I finally re-organized my clothes in the closet. They got all jumbled up from the move, and finding stuff was kind of driving me nuts. I like having all the t-shirts together, all the cardigans together, etc. That way I just have to sort through one section to find something, rather than the WHOLE closest. I don't get super anal about having everything sorted by color except for I like the white stuff sorted separately. One of the weird things that I get bothered by.
I have made some progress in making decisions about decorating. I have ordered some navy blue damask throw pillows on Etsy, as well as a set of 3 navy blue prints that I am framing this weekend to put up on the wall above our couch. I found some really cute white frames for 50% off at Hobby Lobby, and I hope it turns out really well. We'll see. :) I also found a pattern that I really like for curtains for the window in our kitchen, and will probably order next week once I get around to measuring the window. AND, I found some french-style nightstands on Craigslist for $30 that I picked up last night. They are awfully gaudy-looking right now because they are a cream color with gold accent, and I will be painting them all white and putting some new hardware on them.
I definitely have a passion for buying cheap furniture from thrift stores and/or craigslist and refurbishing them to make it my own. I have done this with 2 dressers and a headboard. I have a secretary desk/cabinet that I have been debating painting white for a few years now, because I kind of like it the way it is, but I am starting to think it will really be a great accent if I paint it. I am kind of feeling some pieces that I have seen here and there that are painted mint green, so that's another idea, too!
I am feeling good because this is starting to feel like home. I love that our complex is part of a big residential neighborhood, rather than on a busy street, and next to commercial stuff like our last apartment. I don't feel unsafe like I did at times at our last apartment. I know it will only get better as we do more with the decorating, and finally get our TV mounted on the wall. (We are pretty intimated by this, but it must be done!)
I haven't heard anything back from the hospice place yet, but I did get rejections letters from the L&D position and the OR position I applied for a couple of months ago. I expected this, but it doesn't mean it doesn't suck. I have no experience as an RN other than my clinical experience, so this is not going to be an easy process. It's hard to spend 30 minutes filling out an application that you know you probably won't get an interview for, but you can't not fill it out because "you never know"! I have to remember that my friends who are teachers waited years to finally land a position, and while I hope this doesn't happen because its important to not lost your skills as a nurse, I can't be discouraged and keep trying.
Mike and I have a busy weekend with a date night planned, and all of the projects that we want to get done. And I will start processing my anxiety about coloring my hair in the next week or so. I desperately need to do this, but I get so anxious when I do anything with my hair. I really hope my colorist is back from leave when I call. While the person I used last time was ok, I just really hate not having the same person every time. Basically, I have to go to my pinterest page of pinned hair pictures, and be kind of obsessive about it til I can make myself ok with going forward. Its stupid, it really is, but I can't help it. I also have been debating starting to go dark again, or just maintain my current color. Mike really wants me to go dark again, but that's a commitment I'm not sure I'm ready to make. Anyway, yes, I am completely nut job when it comes to my hair, end of story. lol
I guess that it is all for now, pray for me that I get downstaffed and don't have to work til 11:30 tonight! Because I have to be at work at the dental office at 7 tomorrow. :(
I finally re-organized my clothes in the closet. They got all jumbled up from the move, and finding stuff was kind of driving me nuts. I like having all the t-shirts together, all the cardigans together, etc. That way I just have to sort through one section to find something, rather than the WHOLE closest. I don't get super anal about having everything sorted by color except for I like the white stuff sorted separately. One of the weird things that I get bothered by.
I have made some progress in making decisions about decorating. I have ordered some navy blue damask throw pillows on Etsy, as well as a set of 3 navy blue prints that I am framing this weekend to put up on the wall above our couch. I found some really cute white frames for 50% off at Hobby Lobby, and I hope it turns out really well. We'll see. :) I also found a pattern that I really like for curtains for the window in our kitchen, and will probably order next week once I get around to measuring the window. AND, I found some french-style nightstands on Craigslist for $30 that I picked up last night. They are awfully gaudy-looking right now because they are a cream color with gold accent, and I will be painting them all white and putting some new hardware on them.
I definitely have a passion for buying cheap furniture from thrift stores and/or craigslist and refurbishing them to make it my own. I have done this with 2 dressers and a headboard. I have a secretary desk/cabinet that I have been debating painting white for a few years now, because I kind of like it the way it is, but I am starting to think it will really be a great accent if I paint it. I am kind of feeling some pieces that I have seen here and there that are painted mint green, so that's another idea, too!
I am feeling good because this is starting to feel like home. I love that our complex is part of a big residential neighborhood, rather than on a busy street, and next to commercial stuff like our last apartment. I don't feel unsafe like I did at times at our last apartment. I know it will only get better as we do more with the decorating, and finally get our TV mounted on the wall. (We are pretty intimated by this, but it must be done!)
I haven't heard anything back from the hospice place yet, but I did get rejections letters from the L&D position and the OR position I applied for a couple of months ago. I expected this, but it doesn't mean it doesn't suck. I have no experience as an RN other than my clinical experience, so this is not going to be an easy process. It's hard to spend 30 minutes filling out an application that you know you probably won't get an interview for, but you can't not fill it out because "you never know"! I have to remember that my friends who are teachers waited years to finally land a position, and while I hope this doesn't happen because its important to not lost your skills as a nurse, I can't be discouraged and keep trying.
Mike and I have a busy weekend with a date night planned, and all of the projects that we want to get done. And I will start processing my anxiety about coloring my hair in the next week or so. I desperately need to do this, but I get so anxious when I do anything with my hair. I really hope my colorist is back from leave when I call. While the person I used last time was ok, I just really hate not having the same person every time. Basically, I have to go to my pinterest page of pinned hair pictures, and be kind of obsessive about it til I can make myself ok with going forward. Its stupid, it really is, but I can't help it. I also have been debating starting to go dark again, or just maintain my current color. Mike really wants me to go dark again, but that's a commitment I'm not sure I'm ready to make. Anyway, yes, I am completely nut job when it comes to my hair, end of story. lol
I guess that it is all for now, pray for me that I get downstaffed and don't have to work til 11:30 tonight! Because I have to be at work at the dental office at 7 tomorrow. :(
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
I Did It!
I put my application in to the hospice facility. I also put in an application for a Labor and Delivery position that I'm sure I won't even get a call back about. But at least its a start. We will see how it goes!
Monday, August 6, 2012
Oh, Good Mornng, Anxiety!
I updated my resume last night, and I filled out my application for a hospice and palliative care center in the area. My friend recently started working there, and I was pretty impressed with her starting rate. I have always told myself I didn't think I could do hospice because I'm an emotional sponge. If people around me are stressed, angry, sad, crying, etc., it tends to have a big effect on me, especially the sad and crying part. I am genuinely worried that I will come home crying everyday if I work at a place where people are dying in front of me on a regular basis, and seeing their families go through such a horrible loss. I know I will never know the pain of losing a loved one until it happens to me, but how much I can imagine it is awful enough that it makes me cry.
I feel like such a hypocrite for saying all this time I didn't think I could do it, yet here I am, about to submit my application because it would basically double my income. However, if money was not the issue, it would provide a great opportunity to improve on my skills in supporting my patients and their families as they try to cope with bad outcomes. This is useful no matter where you are working as a nurse. I would someday like to be in the ICU or Labor and Delivery, and while ICU is definitely going to be more heavy on the bad outcomes, they do unfortunately occur in L&D, too, and I'd like to be the best support for my patients as I can.
So, I'm trying to remember that this is a job where I can utilize my nursing skills, improve on the one area that I am terrified of, and will provide much needed experience. There, of course, is no guarantee either that this place will hire me, so I am also totally getting ahead of myself. I just have tried to think this out so much over the last month, because I don't want to quit my jobs to start one here, and then realize I can't do it, and have to beg for my job back at the dental office. I wouldn't be able to go back to my position as a patient care tech once I have had a job as a nurse because of liability issues. So, I have really tried to just weight the pros and cons of this before I even apply, because I don't want to waste anyone's time.
I will work on applications more this week since I have updated my resume, and just keep trying. I am going to try to apply for at least 10 positions each week. As much as I am scared of this job change, I have to do this. Mike really pushed me this weekend. He understood why I am so scared of this, but that I have to make the jump. As much as I want to say ''But, I feel safe at the dental office", I went back to school because I didn't want to be a receptionist for the rest of my life. If I take a job, and it doesn't work out, well then we will just have to cross that bridge when we get there. Either way, I don't feel comfortable trying to have kids or buying a house until I'm more settled in a nursing position, so I gotta get things going one way or another.
Anyway..................that is the source of my anxiety this morning, lol.
I feel like such a hypocrite for saying all this time I didn't think I could do it, yet here I am, about to submit my application because it would basically double my income. However, if money was not the issue, it would provide a great opportunity to improve on my skills in supporting my patients and their families as they try to cope with bad outcomes. This is useful no matter where you are working as a nurse. I would someday like to be in the ICU or Labor and Delivery, and while ICU is definitely going to be more heavy on the bad outcomes, they do unfortunately occur in L&D, too, and I'd like to be the best support for my patients as I can.
So, I'm trying to remember that this is a job where I can utilize my nursing skills, improve on the one area that I am terrified of, and will provide much needed experience. There, of course, is no guarantee either that this place will hire me, so I am also totally getting ahead of myself. I just have tried to think this out so much over the last month, because I don't want to quit my jobs to start one here, and then realize I can't do it, and have to beg for my job back at the dental office. I wouldn't be able to go back to my position as a patient care tech once I have had a job as a nurse because of liability issues. So, I have really tried to just weight the pros and cons of this before I even apply, because I don't want to waste anyone's time.
I will work on applications more this week since I have updated my resume, and just keep trying. I am going to try to apply for at least 10 positions each week. As much as I am scared of this job change, I have to do this. Mike really pushed me this weekend. He understood why I am so scared of this, but that I have to make the jump. As much as I want to say ''But, I feel safe at the dental office", I went back to school because I didn't want to be a receptionist for the rest of my life. If I take a job, and it doesn't work out, well then we will just have to cross that bridge when we get there. Either way, I don't feel comfortable trying to have kids or buying a house until I'm more settled in a nursing position, so I gotta get things going one way or another.
Anyway..................that is the source of my anxiety this morning, lol.
Friday, August 3, 2012
Cheers to the Freakin' Weekend!
Even though I am working at the hospital in the morning tomorrow, I'm happy it is the weekend. I had a quick, and easy day at the dental office today, and I'm planning out our grocery list for tonight. Friday nights are our grocery date night. We hate going on Saturday night, and Sunday is awful unless you get there at the butt crack of dawn. So, Friday nights have turned out to the perfect night to go. Everything is usually stocked pretty well on Friday nights, and less screaming children that make my uterus shrink. We don't usually go out or make plans for Friday night since we both work on Saturday, so its just evolved into our weekly little tradition. Mike's dad thought that we would give that up once I started school, but I budgeted that time for our grocery date every week.
Sure, it really doesn't require both of us, and we are probably a little on the weird side for being so routine about it....but this is what works for us. I don't have to get mad at him for picking up the wrong type of shampoo, and he won't get mad at me for picking up the wrong kind of beer. We plan our meals together based on our schedules for the next week, and we are usually on the same page about what to buy, so it's really not annoying to go shopping with them. As sickening as it may sound, we like going together, and have gone grocery shopping together every single week for the last 5 years, minus the weeks where we have gone on vacation. We intend on keeping it that way until something changes where we can't anymore.
We have changed something about our grocery shopping habits lately, by starting to clip coupons. It takes some work to get them organized, but it is worth it. Last week, we saved $20 on our grocery bill last week between coupons and the 5% discount we get because we have a Target Debit card. If we didn't do our grocery shopping at Target, I wouldn't bother with the Target Debit card, because I am annoyed that it takes days for it come out of our checking account......but because we do so much of our shopping there, it was stupid to NOT get one. If you spend $100 a week at Target, you save $520 a year just because you have their Debit card. Sure, you can get their Credit card, too....but that's a whole world of danger that I don't care to accept the invitation to. So, luckily, I am pretty anal about keeping our checkbook balanced, but its just annoying to have to wait to make sure it all balances because Target takes their sweet ol' time.
Oh! And Target has started putting coupons on their website for you to print out, and they can send text messages with coupons you can redeem from your smartphone. (Geez, am I sounding like a commercial for Target, or what?!) I also have been getting coupons for free from Coupons.com. I just like having coupons for stuff that we were going to buy anyway. If I wasn't planning on buying 10 Weight Watchers entrees, that $3 off coupon is no good to me. But a $1 off lunch meat that we would buy whether or not we had a coupon? Score in my opinion.
My mom was an extreme couponer before it became popular Like, bought 2 extra pantries, and a huge deep freezer because of the stuff she was buying. It was embarrassing when she would drag in what started as a small recipe box, and eventually turned into a shoe box into the grocery store, BUT, I was also pretty cool with the amount of Hot Pockets we always had stocked. (I mean, Hot Pockets were the shit when I was 13!!) I don't think I could ever put the kind of energy into it that my mom did, nor do I wish to turn our 2nd bedroom into my stockpile room, but I figure coupons allow us to keep more of our money, so why not? It's just the two of us right now, there is no way in hell I'm going to buy 10 bottles of ketchup just because I can get them for free. It's just not going to happen, but 50 cents off one bottle is ok with me.
I do, however, want to stockpile cheap frosting so I can practice frosting with my tips. Maybe a trip to the dollar store is in order, they sell frosting, right? I'd frost slices of bread, or on wax paper or something.....because those cupcakes I made the other night are gone, and I don't think it would be a good time to make more cupcakes to practice on! lol
Oh, and as for a nursing goal? I have to get over this fear of putting in my job applications. I will think about working on my resume, and putting in more applications this weekend!
Sure, it really doesn't require both of us, and we are probably a little on the weird side for being so routine about it....but this is what works for us. I don't have to get mad at him for picking up the wrong type of shampoo, and he won't get mad at me for picking up the wrong kind of beer. We plan our meals together based on our schedules for the next week, and we are usually on the same page about what to buy, so it's really not annoying to go shopping with them. As sickening as it may sound, we like going together, and have gone grocery shopping together every single week for the last 5 years, minus the weeks where we have gone on vacation. We intend on keeping it that way until something changes where we can't anymore.
We have changed something about our grocery shopping habits lately, by starting to clip coupons. It takes some work to get them organized, but it is worth it. Last week, we saved $20 on our grocery bill last week between coupons and the 5% discount we get because we have a Target Debit card. If we didn't do our grocery shopping at Target, I wouldn't bother with the Target Debit card, because I am annoyed that it takes days for it come out of our checking account......but because we do so much of our shopping there, it was stupid to NOT get one. If you spend $100 a week at Target, you save $520 a year just because you have their Debit card. Sure, you can get their Credit card, too....but that's a whole world of danger that I don't care to accept the invitation to. So, luckily, I am pretty anal about keeping our checkbook balanced, but its just annoying to have to wait to make sure it all balances because Target takes their sweet ol' time.
Oh! And Target has started putting coupons on their website for you to print out, and they can send text messages with coupons you can redeem from your smartphone. (Geez, am I sounding like a commercial for Target, or what?!) I also have been getting coupons for free from Coupons.com. I just like having coupons for stuff that we were going to buy anyway. If I wasn't planning on buying 10 Weight Watchers entrees, that $3 off coupon is no good to me. But a $1 off lunch meat that we would buy whether or not we had a coupon? Score in my opinion.
My mom was an extreme couponer before it became popular Like, bought 2 extra pantries, and a huge deep freezer because of the stuff she was buying. It was embarrassing when she would drag in what started as a small recipe box, and eventually turned into a shoe box into the grocery store, BUT, I was also pretty cool with the amount of Hot Pockets we always had stocked. (I mean, Hot Pockets were the shit when I was 13!!) I don't think I could ever put the kind of energy into it that my mom did, nor do I wish to turn our 2nd bedroom into my stockpile room, but I figure coupons allow us to keep more of our money, so why not? It's just the two of us right now, there is no way in hell I'm going to buy 10 bottles of ketchup just because I can get them for free. It's just not going to happen, but 50 cents off one bottle is ok with me.
I do, however, want to stockpile cheap frosting so I can practice frosting with my tips. Maybe a trip to the dollar store is in order, they sell frosting, right? I'd frost slices of bread, or on wax paper or something.....because those cupcakes I made the other night are gone, and I don't think it would be a good time to make more cupcakes to practice on! lol
Oh, and as for a nursing goal? I have to get over this fear of putting in my job applications. I will think about working on my resume, and putting in more applications this weekend!
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Goals
For a moment, I'm putting aside my nursing goals to talk about my personal goals. Now that school is done, and we are pretty settled into our new home, I actually have time to do things like baking and reading without fighting with myself about spending time on something other than studying or packing! So, I have some personal, non-nursing related things that I want to work on for myself. Here it goes:
1. Do more baking. I found the spring form pans we received as a shower gift over 4 years ago when we were unpacking. I have to admit it has inspired me quite a bit to get back to baking, trying new things. I want to learn how to make cheesecake, and make a dang good cheesecake at that. I want to improve on my cupcake icing skills. I made cupcakes tonight, and finally used decorating tips to frost them, and I didn't do too bad, but I do need to improve. I probably need to plan to have more frosting on hand than normal until I get better at being consistent. Either way, I just want to master more things with baking.
2. Get my sparkle back. When I get busy, I sacrifice things like facials, hair cuts, highlights, pedicures.... The last two times I've gotten my hair colored, I brought my school books with me so I could study. It's not been the relaxing time that it should be. And even now, I hardly have any time to do these things because of how many hours I'm working. So, my goal is start making time for this in a couple of weeks once I get more things done with decorating the apartment. I have however started going back to the tanning bed, because I need the Vitamin D boost since I haven't been able to enjoy much outside time lately (not like I would want to anyway with how hot its been lately...yuck!)
3. Read more. I love reading, but it is so hard for me to just suck it up and get started.
4. I have to accept that no matter how much I wish I could fix certain situations, I can't if the other people involved don't want to fix it. I am not a sweep-it-under-the-rug kind of person, because I grew up being expected to do that when I was hurt. If the other party can only conclude that I'm just crazy for being upset, and they are in no way responsible at all or have done anything wrong, I have to start to accept that person is not someone who is going to be in my life, nor am I going to waste my time anymore. My attempts at being nice or trying to talk things out have obviously been big, fat failures, so I give up. I don't like it, because it doesn't just affect me, it affects the people around me, but I refuse to put my feelings out there anymore. As much as I want to hope that people can grow up, and work things out like adults, I am starting to think I have to start realizing people aren't as grown up as they should be.
5. Being better about being on time. My boss has always been super lenient with me, and doesn't ever say "Erica, why were you 5 minutes late today?". From day one , as long as I wasn't opening up the office, it was "Oh, whenever you get here is fine". She's very laid back about this stuff, and I have to admit, after 5 years, its not even a thought to me anymore. But I'm trying to be better about it because I want to make sure I'm getting my hours in, especially because there are times we get out earlier than expected, and if I came in late, it takes a chunk out of my paycheck. I'm hardly ever late when I work at the hospital because they monitor it, and have policies they adhere to pretty strictly, so I know my being lax about time is a result of not feeling like my boss cares. I must change this.
I think I'll stop here, because I'm sleepy and there is some train wreck show on VH1 about girls partying with their moms...wth?
1. Do more baking. I found the spring form pans we received as a shower gift over 4 years ago when we were unpacking. I have to admit it has inspired me quite a bit to get back to baking, trying new things. I want to learn how to make cheesecake, and make a dang good cheesecake at that. I want to improve on my cupcake icing skills. I made cupcakes tonight, and finally used decorating tips to frost them, and I didn't do too bad, but I do need to improve. I probably need to plan to have more frosting on hand than normal until I get better at being consistent. Either way, I just want to master more things with baking.
2. Get my sparkle back. When I get busy, I sacrifice things like facials, hair cuts, highlights, pedicures.... The last two times I've gotten my hair colored, I brought my school books with me so I could study. It's not been the relaxing time that it should be. And even now, I hardly have any time to do these things because of how many hours I'm working. So, my goal is start making time for this in a couple of weeks once I get more things done with decorating the apartment. I have however started going back to the tanning bed, because I need the Vitamin D boost since I haven't been able to enjoy much outside time lately (not like I would want to anyway with how hot its been lately...yuck!)
3. Read more. I love reading, but it is so hard for me to just suck it up and get started.
4. I have to accept that no matter how much I wish I could fix certain situations, I can't if the other people involved don't want to fix it. I am not a sweep-it-under-the-rug kind of person, because I grew up being expected to do that when I was hurt. If the other party can only conclude that I'm just crazy for being upset, and they are in no way responsible at all or have done anything wrong, I have to start to accept that person is not someone who is going to be in my life, nor am I going to waste my time anymore. My attempts at being nice or trying to talk things out have obviously been big, fat failures, so I give up. I don't like it, because it doesn't just affect me, it affects the people around me, but I refuse to put my feelings out there anymore. As much as I want to hope that people can grow up, and work things out like adults, I am starting to think I have to start realizing people aren't as grown up as they should be.
5. Being better about being on time. My boss has always been super lenient with me, and doesn't ever say "Erica, why were you 5 minutes late today?". From day one , as long as I wasn't opening up the office, it was "Oh, whenever you get here is fine". She's very laid back about this stuff, and I have to admit, after 5 years, its not even a thought to me anymore. But I'm trying to be better about it because I want to make sure I'm getting my hours in, especially because there are times we get out earlier than expected, and if I came in late, it takes a chunk out of my paycheck. I'm hardly ever late when I work at the hospital because they monitor it, and have policies they adhere to pretty strictly, so I know my being lax about time is a result of not feeling like my boss cares. I must change this.
I think I'll stop here, because I'm sleepy and there is some train wreck show on VH1 about girls partying with their moms...wth?
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